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Tommy was okay.
Well, actually - perhaps there was a better way of phrasing that. Tommy felt okay. He didn't feel spectacular, or amazing, or great, or healed. But he felt okay. He felt okay enough to pull himself out of bed that morning, to ignore the letter and the paper with only two words written on it still sitting on his desk. He felt okay enough to joke around with Wilbur a bit as the man stumbled out of his room with his hair a mess and glasses crooked. He felt okay enough to fix himself a sandwich with his coffee while he was feeding Bloom, and venture outside with her afterwards. While the calf made her morning rounds, bidding her hellos to the bees and other animals, Tommy fed the other animals, and offered Clementine and Mr. Cluck scritches behind their ears and feathers when they came to him in search of affection. He felt okay, and that was amazing.
The wind in his hair felt good, the sunlight on his face felt good. His stomach was full and warm from a turkey sandwich and coffee and there was a smile on his face that Tommy couldn't stifle. Today was… today was an outside day, he thought. Today was a day best spent with his animals, in the garden, watching his little Moobloom roll around in the flowers with all the bees. So, Tommy settled against the fence, lightly running his fingers through Clementine's soft wool.
The sheep nuzzled into his hand and Tommy smiled wider, gently scratching under her chin. "Hey, girl. How are you doing today, huh? You all look happy. I think today's a good day for us." Clementine offered a "baaa" in response and Tommy giggled, leaning forward to kiss her nose. He stayed there for some time, just petting her; he bid his proper hellos to every other animal that ventured over for pets, leaning down over the fence to run his fingers across Mr. Cluck's feathers again, and gave the pigs scritches behind their ears; Charlotte in particular gave a happy little snort and nibbled at his fingers affectionately as he petted her, and Tommy laughed.
He settled against the fence again, turning his head to check on Bloom. His little calf was rolling around in the flowers, still, chomping on some. Tommy did not understand why she ate flowers.
"Hey, Big T!"
Tommy startled a little at first, whipping around. His eyes widened upon seeing Tubbo heading toward him, the little piglin hybrid - Michael - at his heels, toddling along. Admittedly, all Tommy really got to register at first was a flash of green and open arms coming toward him, and for some reason he couldn't quite decipher, he decided that the best course of option was to move the fuck out of the way, scrambling back and ducking away from the hybrid's outstretched arms. Tubbo stumbled to a stop in surprise while Tommy continued to back away, just staring at him. It took him a few seconds to actually register what had just happened, as the shock slowly faded.
Tubbo just stood there, staring at him in equal amounts of shock. "I- wh- did I scare you? Why-? Wh-"
Tommy blinked back at him, genuinely not knowing what to say. He couldn't explain that if he tried. "I thought you were going to attack me," he finally managed, bewildered. And that was more confusing in and of itself because - Tommy wasn't supposed to move away from an attack. He had long learned that dodging and running only worsened his punishments, and he had long learned that it was easier and better for him to just stand still and accept whatever he was given.
"I was going to hug you!" Tubbo protested, ears pinning back.
Tommy, still having trouble processing, intelligently inquired, "why would you hug me?"
"I-" Tubbo stared at him, slack-jawed. "Why would I attack you?!"
Good point. Tommy blinked back at him owlishly for a moment, stunned into silence, still fucking registering what had just happened. He… he wasn't used to that anymore. To being touched without warning, without someone asking for his consent first. That was- that was a startling revelation, actually. There used to be a time where he wouldn't have batted an eye at someone coming toward him with open arms, whether it be for a hit or a hug. Because he never had a say in the matter, he never got to decide whether or not he was to accept what he was given because he wasn't in control. But this time, he had moved. He had moved out of the fucking way, and he wasn't being hurt or yelled at - okay well actually he was being yelled at for it, hm…
"I'm… sorry," Tommy managed to huff out a nervous laugh, wrapping his arms around himself. Thankfully, Tubbo didn't look angry, he just looked absolutely fucking flabbergasted. Whoops… Tommy shuffled his feet a bit, ducking his head and offering a hesitant smile to the goat hybrid. "Just- I wasn't trying to- I really don't know why I moved out of the way like that, I don't usually-"
Tubbo winced a little suddenly, eye widening in alarm. "Oh, shit, Tommy, I- fuck, I probably shouldn't have done that without asking anyway- I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." Tommy just blinked at him, stammering stuttering out to silence while Tubbo waved his hands about as he spoke, briefly turning to check on Michael - the little piglin had made his way over to Bloom, rolling around in the grass with her - before focusing on Tommy again, looking for all the world like he was kicking himself. "Tommy, I- I am so, so sorry, man. I just got so excited to see you, it's been so long and I-" He blew out a sharp breath through his nose. "You looked happy… and I just… I don't know, it's been a long time since I've actually seen you happy like that, and-"
"It's okay, Tubs, really, it is," Tommy rushed to reassure him, his smile easing as he raised his head up again, content in the knowledge that Tubbo wasn't upset with him. "I was just- startled."
Tubbo didn't look any less guilty. "I am so sorry, Tommy."
"It's okay," Tommy reassured again, finally getting a good look at his friend. He looked- well. He was certainly uh… he was certainly standing there. He hadn't bothered with his eyepatch today, his hair was a mess and he had eyebags. Spit-up stains on his shirt, which was wrinkled, by the way… truly, the early signs of parenthood. Tommy recognized all of these things from when Fundy was first born; oh, poor Wilbur. He was ninety percent certain that was the start of Wilbur's spiral into insanity, not that he would actually say that out loud. "Well, you look… uh…" He stammered, and then quickly fell silent. Nope. Nope. Nope. He was keeping his mouth shut, he was not saying that. He was not saying anything that he was thinking, because what he was thinking would probably get him beaten into the ground. And Tommy was not up for that today…
"I look like shit, huh?" Tubbo really sounded resigned to his fate. Tommy raised his eyebrows, managing a quiet laugh and mulling over his answer carefully; amusement flashed across his friend's face for a moment, sighing at him as he settled sideways against the fence. "Michael has made it his job to wake me up every other hour, so I'm pretty much running on caffeine and spite these days. The kid just does not understand the concept of sleep. And I know it's not a piglin thing, because when I first found him, all he did was sleep. I used to complain about that. Now I wish that he would sleep more often, because guess what, Tommy? I sleep when he sleeps. So you know what happens when he doesn't sleep? Do you? I don't get to sleep either."
Tommy remained silent throughout the ramble, but he couldn't help the smile growing on his face nor the laughter bubbling in his chest; he forced both back and shook his head, managing a sympathetic expression as he made his way back over to the fence and settled against it again, with just a few feet of space between him and Tubbo now. "Ah, children…" He murmured.
"Thankfully, Wilbur has agreed to temporarily kidnap my child-" Tubbo cut off with a sudden snrk, eye widening slightly in amusement, and Tommy didn't even need to look. He just sighed.
"What'd she say?"
Tubbo's mouth twitched. "'What would you know, you have the perfect child right here'."
Tommy couldn't help a smile at that, looking over at Bloom. He already knew from what Ranboo translated for him that Bloom saw him as her father, and quite frankly, Tommy had very quickly gone from seeing her as the "emotional support pet" she had started out as to… to his child. Genuinely. He didn't think it was possible, but here he was. And he loved this calf with his whole heart and soul, his entire being. He didn't know what he would do without her. She truly was the perfect child - though, since "perfect" wasn't a word Tommy liked to use… he would have to find a substitute. For now, though… "Okay, I guess she has a point. Bloom doesn't keep me awake, at least. The night terrors do that," he said casually, sinking his weight against the fence entirely.
He only realized what he had said when he turned back to see Tubbo staring at him in surprise; the goat hybrid reacted quickly when Tommy looked back up at him, fumbling to respond. "I- well- that is-" A sudden, quiet laugh escaped his lips, and Tommy couldn't help but crack a grin. "Was that- was that a joke? I mean I know you have night terrors, like actually, but was that a-?"
"Yes," Tommy confirmed, and Tubbo laughed again, his eye sparkling with delight. "Yes, it was." He smiled, stretching his arm out over the fence and reaching out toward Clementine, who immediately trotted over to him once he caught her attention, pressing her head into his hand. "I'm in a good mood today, I think. Like, a really good mood," he admitted, curling his fingers into the sheep's wool and turning his attention back to Tubbo. "I don't really know why, I guess I just- I kind of woke up like this, and… I told Wilbur his hair looked like shit today, and I did not get hit."
Tubbo's expression softened at that. "Well, Wil would never hit you. None of us would."
"I know," Tommy murmured. "Well, logically, I just- I forget sometimes. But today it was just like-" He stopped, hesitating. "I feel like me, a little bit, today. Is that… I don't know if that's good, but- I mean I know that the way I was, wasn't- but Ranboo said- fuck, it's fucking confusing. I don't…" He took a deep breath, and Tubbo just gazed at him while the blond struggled to get his thoughts in order, sorting through the conflict raging in his mind. "I don't know, man. I just feel…"
He couldn't finish, but he didn't need to. Tubbo's eye crinkled with a smile, sparkling with a happiness Tommy hadn't seen in a while. "I get it, big man. And… I'm happy that you're happy."
Tommy grinned back at him, turning his head when he heard the door open. And out came Wilbur, a cheerful smile on his face. He offered a wave to Tubbo, and then beelined straight to where Michael and Bloom were still rolling about in the grass. Tommy watched as he scooped them both up, grinning a little to himself. Wilbur had so very quickly taken on the role of "uncle" with both of them, and it was quite possibly the most wholesome thing that Tommy could imagine. Wilbur had been a little standoffish with the calf at first - as he usually was with animals, especially animals that he usually viewed as a food source - but despite his inability to understand her, like Tommy, he seemed to have quickly grown attached to her, and she seemed to adore him just the same. And oh, Michael - from the moment Wilbur first laid his eyes on the young piglin, he was smitten, offering to babysit the both of them whenever he had the chance.
He watched them carry on and about, wandering further through the flower field. He didn't trust many people with Bloom, he had lost too much for that, but he did trust those within the cottage. He trusted Ranboo with her the most, and then Ghostbur and Wilbur and Puffy, and Techno and Tubbo were both steadily climbing up that list. He had no doubt Wilbur would keep her safe now.
"So…" Tubbo began. "I was, uh… I was going to take a nap, but… do you wanna do something?" Tommy turned back to him, blinking, and Tubbo shrugged. "I dunno, like, take a walk or something- just like, anything honestly. Since you're in a good mood today, you know? We… we haven't spent a lot of time together, and I know that's mostly my fault, and now I'm busy with Michael and everything but- I've really missed you." His voice quieted at that last part. Tommy tilted his head a little, gazing at him. For all his bitterness he couldn't truly bring himself to hate the goat hybrid, he couldn't bring himself to be angry when he was right in front of him. Later, maybe, he would compare such a thing to the way he felt toward Dream. But not now.
Now, he smiled a little as he thought, and pulled away from the fence. "Wanna go pick flowers?"
Tubbo lit up. Like a fucking kid on Christmas. It was worth it seeing the sparkle in his eye, the wide grin that stretched across his face, as the boy practically sprang to life. "Oh, fucking- yes!"
Tommy was okay, perhaps even spectacular, and amazing, and great, and healing.