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You want me to do what?!
“I apologize, Sir.” Hopefully, the smile was convincing. “To reiterate, you’d like me to play house with--”
“That’s not what a teacher does, Yuri.”
Perhaps if he kept with the playing dumb act, they’d pass the task onto someone else.
“My apologies. You’d like me to babysit--”
“That’s one way you could describe the job of a teacher, yes. With your superb academic history, you shouldn’t have any trouble taking the job up for a day.” His supervisor was oddly in a good mood today. “But, let us be clear, you are there to investigate for any hints of treason.”
Because those pampered toddlers would definitely be capable of that. “Yes, sir. The children would be sure to repeat things that they’ve picked up from around the household.”
Yuri pretended to scan the papers in front of him and tried a different tactic. “But sir, there seems to be a problem with me taking up this task.”
“That is?”
“My niece, sir. Anya Forger. She’s in the class assigned for this mission.”
“Oh?” His superior raised an eyebrow. “So, now she’s your niece? Since when did you take the mantle of the doting uncle?”
Keep smiling.
He felt his ears burn as his supervisor nodded towards the papers. “Don’t worry. We’ve prepared a suitable disguise and identity for you to take on.”
“But sir...” He really didn’t want to do this. Tutoring Anya had been a mind-numbing task in itself and he didn’t want to imagine how he’d fare with an odd twenty or so kids her age. “I-I don’t think I’m qualified enough to teach-”
“Stop with the excuses, Yuri. You’re lucky I’m in a generous mood today or it’d be you I’d be ordering an investigation on.”
“Y-yes sir!”
Eden Academy.
The name was known in every corner of Ostania and there were many in Ostania who dreamed of sending their children to the institution in the hopes of a better future. His parents had been one of those couples. Of course, life had other plans for the Briar family.
He wasn’t too bitter about never enrolling in the institution, even though he knew that he probably would have made it in if he ever gave the exam. In fact, when he had heard the stories about the pompous Eden students from classmates who visited here for various competitions, Yuri was grateful.
Besides, coming to Eden would have meant boarding here and barely seeing Yor.
From the window, he saw the students stepping out of their limousines and armored cars and getting handed their bags by chauffeurs. Then he saw how they glared at the students getting off from the buses, and how the students getting off from the buses glared back. How the boarding students glared at both groups.
Truly bringing the social classes together in harmony.
Yes, he didn’t regret not studying in Eden even a little bit.
Anya jumped when she entered the class and saw him. Truth be told, he had been focusing on the more “distinguished” students but the gesture made him reach instinctively for the fake mustache. No, it was still there. He ran a hand through his hair- the wig was still there. So was the mask that should conceal every single detail about his true identity. He chalked it up to the girl being dumb again and thought nothing more of it.
“Un..Um, h-hello.” Anya stuttered nervously before running towards her desk. He rolled his eyes. It had to be in the front row too.
Anya sat up straight and stared ahead with wide eyes. So, it seemed that Anya had some respect for authority figures after all. Good. Perhaps, there were some redeeming qualities to be found in Loid’s daughter.
The rest of her classmates, though, were another story. They lingered here and there, giving no indication that they were to head to their seats anytime soon.
Oh, so they’re taking me lightly because I’m a substitute instructor, hm? Well, I’ll burn the fear of authority in these brats right now!
He opened his mouth just as the bell rang and the children scurried to their seats, which left him looking like a slack-jawed idiot.
He looked up again after feigning a coughing fit. “Ahem. As you can see, none of your regular teachers are here, so I’ll be taking over for them for today—”
“None of the teachers are here?”
“What happened to them?”
“Silence!” He brought his hand down on the desk and was disappointed to learn that it didn’t have the impact he was going for. If anything, his palm burned from the pain. “I will not tolerate civil disobedience, do you all understand?”
A few of the children nodded while most of them blinked up at him. He saw Anya sigh.
“Glad we’ve reached an understanding. Now, there is no need for introductions as ‘Sir’ will do just fine and your teachers will be here tomorrow. As for the lesson plan, let’s see here...” he pretended to scan the sheet in front him, “ah! a surprise quiz at the end of the day”
“Sir?” The Desmond scion raised his hand. “What’s the surprise quiz going to be on?”
“That’s the fun thing about surprise quizzes. Only I’m supposed to know. You shouldn’t have to worry if you all pay close attention to the lessons today. Speaking of which, let’s get on with them, shall we?”
That was going to be his main strategy for today: coax information out of the children via lessons. They wouldn’t even have a clue about all the secrets they’d be giving up to him.
“Now, class, what are your thoughts about the recently signed treatise between Westalis and Ostania?”
The students looked up at him blankly.
“Anyone? Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of this? What do you lot watch on the TV anyways? It’s been on the news for weeks.”
“Cartoons.”
“Soap operas.”
“Your parents must have said something about this? This is a monumental event, after all.”
“My dad said something.”
The Glooman kid. Finally, a lead. “Yes, you’re er—George, was it? What did your father say?”
The boy shrugged. “I dunno. It was boring and then they brought out the dessert.”
If this lot was among the brightest in the country, then the nation was doomed.
He massaged his head in a vain attempt to get rid of the headache when a lone hand shot up in the air.
“Sir?” Anya said. “My Papa says it’s really good.”
“Did he now? What else did he have to say?” Yuri grumbled.
“Yeah! He said we really got the other party right there and they’re a bunch of suckers.”
Odd. Those were pretty much Yuri’s sentiments about the treatise more or less.
Curse you, Loid Forger! Having the audacity to steal my opinions! Even if they’re the correct opinions!
“Alright. Thank you, little girl.”
“No, wait!” Anya said. “My Papa also thinks the secret police is so cool and that they’re awesome at doing secret police stuff. Basically, my Papa thinks the country and secret police is awesome! Isn’t that cool?”
Loid Forger, how dare you be patriotic?!
“Yes. Thank you. We should all strive to be as loyal to Ostania as your father is.” The words left a bitter taste on his tongue, and as he sat down on the chair, he felt a world-weariness overtake him.
I’m twenty. It’s only been twenty minutes. They’re only six but why is this headache only getting worse?
“Alright. Change of plans, then. Leave the treatise for history class and start writing an essay about your parents. No discussions and you’ll be reading these out to the rest of the class in about....” he massaged his head again, “...an hour.”
That should be enough time to get his bearings together again.
“....and that’s why I love my father so much. He’s brave and honest and I love my dad very much.”
“Enlightening, George.” Better not to break little George’s heart and tell him his father was to go under investigation for tax evasion any day now.
This lesson had been useless as well. Yuri learned all about the Blackbells’ love for trashy soap operas, how the Desmonds were the most pretentious family in this entire country and how the Elman children probably had cavities from all the candy their father bought them but if he brought this information to headquarters, he’d be the laughingstock of the SSS for years to come.
“Now, for the very last essay. Come on, we need to get to the next lesson soon.” He gestured towards Anya. Not only was he wasting his time but now he had to hear her prattle on about her amazing father and how noble he was.
“My Papa is amazing because he’s a sp- I mean, sp- Um...spychiatrist...?”
“Psychiatrist.” Yuri groaned.
“Yeah! How did you know, sir? Can you read minds?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Carry on.”
How do I know? Because the last time I tutored you, you wrote down this exact same essay. Next, I bet you’re going to say he’s a feelings doctor and he helps people get better.
“... he’s a feelings doctor and he helps people get better....”
Yuri thought he’d need another painkiller after this.
This was a pointless mission.
If it hadn’t been evident from the very first class, it was certainly clear by their outdoor break. Even if they were rich brats, they would gravitate towards doing obnoxious things like kicking a ball or squabble about whose dad could was the strongest.
The children would hardly know anything about their family secrets. The corruption scandals. All the dirty laundry the SSS had on them. They probably thought their parents were (and the brats’ words, not his) ‘the most amazing people in the world.’
The Desmond boy walked past him, sulking the entire time as his cronies crowed about some pretentious nonsense. This one was probably the only exception here.
That one doesn’t even see his parents enough to know what to think of them. Yuri would have felt sorry for the boy if it weren’t for the fact that the boy’s family had villas all over the country for every season.
“Un-I mean, um! Excuse me!”
She really is like a chihuahua. Yuri winced at Anya’s high-pitched squeal before scowling down at her. “What?”
Her bright smile didn’t falter as she held up the packet. “Open this for me, please?”
“Peanuts?” Did this girl ever eat anything else? “What? Did your doctor father pack these for you?”
“Nope!” Anya said. “My Mama did.”
Yor probably had her reasons. “Your mother is a smart woman.” These were cheese-flavoured after all; Yor must have noticed that Anya needed more protein in her diet.
“She doesn’t seem to think so.” Anya said when he passed the open bag back to her. “It’s okay though. I think she’s good at other things.”
Good? He should lecture her right there and then about how perfect his sister was and how she should be grateful to the heavens above to be blessed with such a mother-
“Um...” Anya blinked at the peanut in her hand before offering it up in his direction. “Do you want this?”
“What? No! Why would I want a grubby little peanut?! And from you?!”
Anya shrugged and popped it into her mouth. “Ish good. Also, you looked really grumpy.”
“How would a peanut have cheered me up?”
“Peanuts always cheer me up.” She sucked the cheesy powder from her thumb.
Weirdo.
Still, he doesn’t tell her to scram and she doesn’t seem like she would wander away from his side anytime soon.
“Most of these kids don’t like you.” It wasn’t his intention to come off as so blunt and rude about it, but Anya didn’t seem too bothered by the comment.
“Yeah.” Anya gestured to the star pinned on her shirt. “They’re jealous I got to be Starlight Anya before them!”
“They told you that.”
“Nope. I just know.”
Cocky kid. “It doesn’t bother you?” He knew he would have been upset about something like this. In fact, he remembered being upset by it all those years back.
“I have Becky. She said it was okay as long as I have her.” Anya pointed a powdered finger at the Blackbell girl playing by the hopscotch. She had been watching the two of them and at the gesture, Anya’s friend gave an enthusiastic wave which Anya returned with just as much affection.
“Who said it was alright? Becky?” It was a wise move for Loid’s daughter to ally with someone so powerful. As much as he hated to admit it.
“Mama.”
“Yor- Your mother said that?”
“Mmm. See, my Mama didn’t have friends when she was a kid because she had to take care of my Uncle Yuri. She said she wasn’t sad about it because she thought Uncle Yuri was worth a thousand friends.” He could have cried upon hearing those words when Anya crinkled her nose. “I don’t think Uncle Yuri is worth even ten friends though. Maybe Mama was being delusional.”
If it were any other time, he would have chewed Anya out for those last few, very unnecessary comments. But those words of affirmation had rejuvenated him after a long day of suffering from dealing with these toddlers that he elected to let her off for today.
Be very grateful, Anya Forger! If I weren’t in such a good mood, I could have your father tried for—Errr…
He could come up with nothing. If anything, that rambling and essay from her daughter had only served as evidence that Loid Forger was an upstanding, law-abiding citizen of Ostania.
Anya exhaled loudly and Yuri raised an angry fist to the sky.
No! Curse you, Loid Forger! Mark my words, someday I will bring you down. You and then that Agent Twilight!
“Calm down.” Anya muttered. “Everyone is looking.”
He blinked and out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the children pause to stare at him.
“I, uh, am so overcome by my love for the flag that I couldn’t help but move to salute—wait, I don’t have to explain myself to you children! And didn’t you lot hear the bell? Get inside!”
As the children lined up, he saw the Blackbell girl slip in behind Anya.
“What were you two talking about?” Becky Blackbell would make for a poor agent; that girl couldn’t whisper even if her life depended on it.
“I was just telling a story about my Mama and my Uncle Yuri, but looking at this substitute teacher guy... now I just have questions.”
“What?”
“I wonder if my Uncle Yuri had any friends.”
“Oye! You two!” Yuri snapped from the door. “Stop chattering and get to class.”
Just when he had started to like them too.
One more hour and then this nightmare would finally be over.
“Alright, time for your quiz. Get out a sheet of paper and write down the twelve main points of our Constitution.”
“But sir,” Damian raised his hand “There are only—”
“Shush! I said what I said. The twelve main points just like we discussed in class today. You have thirty minutes.”
Anya glanced back to the boy and then to Yuri and frantically began to scribble down in her notebook.
Ha, this was a trick question! There are only ten main points! Seems that didn’t seem to fool Mr. Damian Desmond over here. Huh. I’m surprised considering how his father violated maybe seven out of the ten points during his tenure as Prime Minister.
From how their faces were scrunched up in confusion (Damian included), Yuri could tell that he shouldn’t be expecting much from them. Though, Anya didn’t seem to look too worried.
Did I ever revise this with her that day? Bah. Knowing her she could probably be writing down some gibberish anyways.
He glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes to go. He should start revising those points anyways; they were still tricky to remember, even at his age.
Equality, Freedom, Peace and Security, Justice...
...Why was the Forger girl smirking all of a sudden?
Five minutes to the bell. He could just let this all slide....but the temptation was too great.
“I’ve marked your quizzes.” Yuri said as he flipped through the papers in his hands. “I’d like to say you all exceeded my expectations but,” he handed Ewan’s paper, which was littered with red, “then I’d be lying.”
He went around the class and as he passed back the papers made a point of avoiding Anya Forger.
“Ah, but maybe I’m being too harsh; some of you got two or three points right. Then again, you’re all Eden students and we have to have high expectations, don’t we?”
“You tried, Mr. Desmond. You really did. And so close too with how you caught on to my trick question. I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for the second-highest score, though.”
“What?” Damian sputtered. “I got one wrong though. You’re telling me someone got a perfect score?”
“That’s right.” Yuri waved the last paper in his hand dramatically. “Believe it or not, that score belongs to none other than Anya Forger.”
“Wait, what?!”
“Her?! No way!”
“Anya!” Becky reached out to hug her. “You did great!”
“I know.” Anya had the smuggest expression on her face as she leaned over to grab the paper.
Not so fast. He moved the paper just out of her reached and turned to face the class. “See this? Let this be proof that a mere peasant can overcome adversity to rise to the top.”
“It’s just a quiz.” Anya whispered.
“See, Anya? This is what happens when you finally put your mind to your studies. Never let anyone make you feel inferior because of your humble commoner background.”
“I can’t tell if I’m being rewarded or punished.”
He finally handed the paper back just as the bell rang. The children were quick to scatter.
“You know, Anya, I am curious now as to where and how far you’ll go. Perhaps a future in the secret police? Or a diplomat? I’m sure your father would like that.”
“Ew, no. That’s weird.” Anya wrinkled her face as she dashed off. “I wanna be a spy- I mean, a psychiatrist!”
Nope, that quiz was probably a fluke like he initially guessed it to be. There was no saving Loid Forger’s daughter.
As he packed up for the day, Yuri realized that he had no tangible results to report to his superiors. They’d been so adamant that they’d get some valuable intelligence from this operation and Yuri couldn’t possibly go in empty-handed.
He had been fumbling around when George’s essay caught his eye, and the idea came to him almost immediately.
“Yes. Yes.” He mumbled as he went down the sheet and scribbled in his notes. “I’ll write a few of them down for suspicion of tax evasion. Isn’t it suspicious how many villas that CEO’s kid had? Where did that Blackbell get that money to buy his daughter a rocket of her own? And it wouldn’t hurt if we investigated that brat in the corner who called me a jerk, would it?”
He paused as the pencil lingered over Loid Forger’s name.
“Skip.” Yuri scoffed. “As if that man could ever have the brains for something like this.”