Chapter Text
Sera turned away from me to face Edria Kang's envoy. She had established her presence as our group negotiator, and I was happy about it. Even in this simulation, the stark green uniforms and stoic faces of the Edrian military scared me. They were every picture I'd seen in my textbooks, methodically cultivated to be the intimidating monolith of their stereotype for this test. Sera didn't falter once, even under their cold and trained gazes.
An officer wearing a green overcoat embroidered with decorative sigils of office stepped forward. The cloth glimmered - a metal weave of some kind - and it was probably warded enough to survive a small explosion. My eyes danced over the runes sewn into the collar, because looking at the officer's face would have shaken me, and these were the kinds of people that could smell hesitance. Facing the smugness of my father and his noble friends were where my defense mechanisms had ample saturation, not this military candor.
The officer spoke, his Cas accent jolting his words in crisp snaps. "Your duelist - Jin Dalen - will be heading to the field at sunset. If we do not see him show up, we will not be gentle in your refusal to fight and take that as permission to finally take this city and rip that righteous sword from the Dalen scum's hands."
Sera's face did not waiver. I watched her as she responded. "And my name is Sera. Nice to meet you, too, Officer Zhang. I'm here to negotiate the terms of our duel, not listen to your demands. Jin Dalen - wielder of Soulbrand and first arms to the Queen - will be there. But you can't negate the terms of the duel and leave us at that. We need boundaries. This will not be a duel to the death."
Officer Zhang folded his arms and scoffed. "Child, this isn't a school duel." The irony of his statement made me want to chuckle, but I resisted the urge. "Duels in war are always to the death. The prize - when the Queen's brat falls - will be your sacred sword, any amulets the boy has obtained, and our annexation of this city will be finalized. The people of Kelridge will bend their knees and surrender."
Sera gawked. "To the death? Firstly, that’s not true. Duels in war can be done without further bloodshed. I can't -'' she had gotten a little flustered, but then -
Jin stepped up. He startled me. He startled Officer Zhang just as much, but the soldier's face only showed the twitch of an eyebrow while mine was the jolt of an electric bolt. I hated being witness to tense conversations.
"It will be a fight to the death. I can agree to that." Jin said, calmly. "When I win, your armies will cease fire and retreat back to your Emperor's feet and tell them of your failure."
I stared at Jin. Not just for what he had said. A moment ago, he had rushed into our meeting with a flustered expression, exclaiming his lack of "a Soulbrand", and his eyes had been wide. I could almost see his pulse throbbing at his neck, and sweat on his brow. Now? He was as calm as ever. Perhaps I was seeing a layer to his social skills I'd missed before. Or - perhaps - that moment in the meeting room was a peek into what I'd never known or noticed in the first place. To see him go from flustered to brazen in an instant like this? It was beyond respectable. I'd done similar things - sure - but Jin was just so risky about it.
"Jin," I stepped toward him. He didn't even glance at me. Something about the lack of acknowledgement stung me. The fake Soulbrand on his back gave off a dull orange glow, highlighting the backs of his ears and the clench in his jaw. My hand reached for his shoulder, "I don't think-"
"Enough, then!” Zhang shouted, staring dead into Jin’s eyes. He didn’t spare Sera a look as he shouted at her, “Woman, the boy has said he'll fight to the death! So be it. Edria Kang will not require much effort to wipe this dirty-"
"That's enough from you," Sera snapped. Zhang had stepped forward while he spoke and spat at Jin. I knew where his next words were going, and it made my spine cringe at the incoming slur. Jin had given a brief education on the inner racism within the whole of Edria, and it wasn't uncommon for the West Edrian natives to refer to Kelridge descendants as "dirtier", "unclean", or simply foul. Constant assumptions thrown on them: claims of scheme, insinuations of lawless behavior? All were aimed at the "lesser" East Edrians.
Sera continued as I mulled over my regrets and steeped in the awareness that I had literally treated Jin no better - taking the assumption that he was an Edrian spy after he'd "betrayed" me. Thankfully, Sera's words distracted me from biting my tongue 'til I bled out.
"If a duel to the death is what you want and any means of combat is what you want, then fine. If you're so confident in that, then so be it. Jin will show up. We're done here, sir." She spat the last word as she forced him to catch her eye by standing between him and Jin. Jin's intense focus never faltered from Officer Zhang's furious eyes.
Officer Zhang spat once more at the ground, hitting Jin's boot, before he swore in his own language and barked a leave order to his envoy. They all turned and walked away, the rhythmic sound of marching boots descended down the city gate's stairwell.
I looked at Jin, who I caught the glossy eyes of for a split moment before I forgot where I was. I was standing at the city gates with Sera and felt a dizzying vertigo overcome my senses. My brain was swinging somewhere between seeing Jin’s sullen expression just now, and a vivid memory of straddling him with a bloody dagger clutched in between our grasps. I stared at the bursting gleams of sunlight bouncing off the envoy's helmets for a few seconds before reality came back under my feet.
Jin had gone.
"Resh," Sera snapped. "He probably went back into the barracks. He needs to rest a bit before we start throwing items and mana on him. You're ready to pump him with everything you have, right? He'll need - Corin? Corin. Corin!"
Sera snapped her fingers in front of my face. I blinked rapidly, knocking myself out of the black chasm of regretful memories that had sucked my brain into an overthinking hole. I regretted a lot about Jin, but I couldn't worry about that right now.
"Sorry. I'm back. I- I have everything I need. If he went to the barracks, how long should I wait 'til I wake him up?"
"Just give him a couple hours at least. The duel will be in - " she gestured vaguely. "Whenever the sun starts to set, you already need to be prepared. It's noon now. Go get what you can ready. Remember, you're his second, so if he dies-"
"No-" I choked. "No, I mean. They won't let that happen. This is a school test." This is a school test. Don't lose your mind in the role play. This is a school test.
"Yes, but you need to act and react as if his life is in danger. I know you still treat him like you're tossing a thorned berry, but we can't fight ourselves like that right now."
I cringed. "I've been.. thinking about that, actually. Sera.."
Sera crossed her arms, as if she knew already. But she waited for me to get my words out, albeit with raised eyebrows of impatience. I sighed. It seemed like a bad time to have a conversation like this when I could hear the shattering of glass and shouting just within the city behind me. "I haven't been a good friend to him."
"You and I both. I had no idea how terrible this was until recent months. Does ignorance make us innocent for participating in groupthink racism? No, Corin. It really doesn't. There's a part of me that thinks Jin is hiding from us purposefully because he thinks we're just slightly less shitty than Rupert Kent, but he has to rely on us. And he - he got me those damn Goddess Tears." She flew her hands out in frustration, wringing at the air. "I want to not trust him! Truly. But I'm just as bad. He truly just wanted to protect his family, didn't he? He was never an Edrian spy, sure. I believe that now. I believe how insulting it must have been to have you call him that, considering what Edria has done to his people. He could have trusted us a bit more back then, to explain how worried he was, but how could he have? We were perpetuating him as soon as we met him. I hate myself right now, Corin. But for the Goddess' sake, I am not letting him die on that stage. If we can do anything in return for the mistakes and humility he's shown toward us? It's getting him through this."
She pointed and gestured as she spoke. I could tell she was running off the adrenaline of being in a leadership position. I’d never heard her say a harsher word than resh before. She was never this animated when she spoke to me privately - she'd tone it down for my comfort. But now? I understood the reasons why speeches like this were powerful, when before I just viewed the fanfare as silly.
"Stop being a shitty friend, Corin. Go help him. We should all help him." Sera said, finally. She sighed. "Patrick was truly the only one, wasn't he?" I knew what she meant. I nodded. She looked toward the sky and let out a ragged grunt. I could also tell that getting called 'woman' by that officer was scratching at her emotional armor.
I took in a deep breath, feeling both better and worse, then turned and walked back into the city proper. The scent of ash and blood prickled my nose as I walked through the city, just then preserving a moment to realize I'd never actually taken it in before the destruction. Houseplants were hanging precariously from their windowsill beds, wilted and scorched. Handmade paper lanterns swayed on tilted porches. Noble families of the inner city were huddled around Valian embassy tents. There was something sickening about the level of detail that went into this "fake" war scenario. Whether or not the child I passed - caked in mud and clutching a red envelope - was a simulacra or not? That was not on my mind. I just saw the carnage in her wide eyes, the deletion of life. I understood that her personality could never flourish as it was meant to with such a maimed foundation. I knew how she felt. At least I could vaguely relate, even if it was not a perfect mirror.
This sort of flourished and fake war-time preparation for our school tests put a heavy weight on my head. The lesson they wanted us to learn was to hate the enemy, hate the one who would so carelessly wreck an innocent nation, hate the one that sought to conquer. So what was Valia's gain? To be a gallant hero to a compromised nation? To be put on a pedestal of being selfless? No, I didn't believe that. After seeing the corruption within my own government, my own spire, my own household - the only conclusion I could see Valia being present as a "hero" was to put Kelridge in debt to us. A favor paid, a favor to be owed. I didn't like that way of thinking, I didn't like the idea of holding human lives at the level of a debt transaction. I could envision an alternate reality where Kelridge and Valia became allies, though, and all the twisted ways this new timeline would have taken us down. Constantly putting Kelridge down as “people that owe us”, an exchange of money and spire privileges, Visages warring, arranged noble marriages - hah.
A vivid and uncomfortable image of Alaric Cadence and Mitsurugi Dalen flashed in my brain, the both of them signing marriage documents. Two men that probably hated each other joining hands under the Goddess’ matrimony.
Jin and I could have been cousins - or brothers.
That thought made my heart nearly leap from its safe place in my ribcage. A chill decided to shudder my body at the same time, leaving me with no ability to identify if the bodily reaction to this brotherly hallucination was good or bad. It was often like that with Jin. My brain simply didn’t want to try to process any of these feelings and just forced my body to experience them instead.
I pushed away all of those thoughts, not particularly wanting to let my brain do any more thinking. I made my way back into the fortress. Checklists and mana calculations danced in my head, rather than uncomfortable images of our ancestors.