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Simon Riley spent his life stuck in a void. Dark, desolate, the ever spiral downward to his demise. What ever you wanted to call it, it left him with a dreary outlook on life. Well, until you anyway. He didn't know what to make of you at first. When a colleague introduced you two, he noticed immediately how bright you were. Not only did you out shine anyone else in the room, but you had this air of freshness he had yet to feel.
Simon feared his dark demeanor would scare you off. Yet, you seemed happy to see him everytime. With smile and all. It was odd to him and still he wanted more from you. Though, that void still wrapped itself around him.
His career came first and foremost in his life. Before even his own health. Of course he couldn't let himself go. He had to stay fit, healthy, clear minded for what he did in life. That still didn't stop him from neglecting his self care. Mentally anyway.
When the question arose, it almost sent shivers over your body. The thought had never really crossed your mind, but now it wouldn't leave. After a rough trip, Simon returned to you alive, thankfully, but beat up. Mentally and physically, it seemed.
"You shouldn't be with me, should you?"
It took a few seconds to set in, but once it had you almost laughed. Your hands set down the plate you had been washing. You turned to look at him with a brow raised.
"What do you mean by that?"
You could see a tremble in his hands. His eyes locked down on them as he set them on the table.
"I mean...how could you? It's strange...to love a killer, isn't it?"
Now THAT sent shivers through you, and this time you did laugh. You wiped your hands on a paper towel and made your way back to the kitchen table. Pulling out the chair next to him and seated yourself in it.
You could see more clearly just how distraught his eyes looked and with his mask raised only enough to see his mouth, the frown told you enough.
"Killer is a strong word, I think, but no it's not strange."
That answer might have been to confident, but this was not the first time this conversation was had between you two. Everytime the answer was the same.
He looked up at you, but he never met your eyes. You could see the confusion in his eyes and it made you smile. You reached out and grabbed his hands, attempting to still their trembling.
"You kill terrible people, who do terrible things. It's not like you're murdering innocent people, I know the difference, Simon."
"Is there a difference?"
No matter how many times this happened. No matter how many times he questioned his worth, it broke your heart everytime. Ghost was a confident killer, but your Simon was a damaged man. Your life mission had become to lift him up everytime he fell.
"Simon, there is. You know this. I know this. You colleagues know this. I mean, you're not a saint sure, but everytime you take a life, you're saving a hundred more."
His eyes cast downward again and you could almost see his shoulders relax. This would happen again, he would question himself again and he may never rid himself of this burden, but you would always be there to build his confidence.
Your smile widened and you raised his hands to your lips, giving his knuckles a sweet kiss. The corner of Simons lips raised and his eyes finally met yours.
" Don't get cheeky, sweetheart. We still haven't had dessert yet."
"Oh yes, please get that pie from the fridge already!"
He gave a deep chuckle and stood from his seat, brushing his hand over your head and placing gentle kiss on your lips before he made his way to your refrigerator. You leaned back in your chair and watched him, the smile never leaving your face.
He may always be trapped in this void. Endlessly returning from a tireless fight, drained of confidence and afraid of emotion. Though, as long as you were there to support him when he's down, he may one day find the light at the end.