Chapter Text
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Marauder's Dormroom.
"He never told me anything."
"You weren't speaking to him ever since you left that house."
"But still, he never told me a thing."
"You weren't speaking to each other." Remus repeated slowly as if he was talking to a seven year old that couldn't grasp a sentence yet. Sirius groaned loudly.
"Are you gonna say it again?"
"Don't mind me, Black. I'm just trying to understand what you're saying. How could Reg have told you anything if you didn't even look at him around Hogwarts?" He closed his book, deciding he could
no longer concentrate on it.
"What about James? Why didn't James-"
"Alright. Listen to me," Remus adjusted his position so he was sitting with his body turned to Sirius',
giving his full attention. Sirius tilted his head and a dark strand slipped from behind his ear. Remus was the werewolf but Sirius was the one that looked like a puppy. "What it is that is really bothering you? The fact that Regulus has feelings for your best friend, or the fact that he has feelings for a boy?"
Sirius gave Remus an alarmed look, "You think my problem is about my brother liking a boy?”
“I'm asking you a question, there's no need to get defensive about it.”
Sirius frowned deeply, inhaling sharply as he stood up and walked around the room. Remus' bed. He didn't remember the last time he even laid on his. For some reason, Remus' was more comfortable.
“I know that I was a prick about this exact subject a few years back;” Sirius explained, crossing his arms. “But I didn't know anything. I didn't knew what I wanted but now I know.” Because I'm with you and I don't regret a bit about it. Those words were implicit. He gave his boyfriend a pointed look. “So, to answer your question, I couldn't care less if Regulus has feelings for a boy. But the fact that they hid it from me for so long? Yes, that bothers me.”
Remus nodded, studying Sirius shifty demeanor carefully. “That's fair.”
Sirius scoffed, “Is that all you have to say?”
Remus sighed, “What do you want me to say? You're feeling betrayed and it's valid. I don't blame you.”
“But...?” Sirius pressed with a roll of his eyes, knowing Remus had more to say. And he would probably be right.
The corner of Lupin's lips lifted in a smirk, “But, James was scared that you would be mad at him because it is your brother he's involved with after all. And Reggie, well...”
“He didn't have an opening to talk to me?” Remus snickered at Sirius glare. “You are so picking sides right now. I'm your boyfriend! You should be at my side, not Regulus'!”
Remus chuckled softly, resting his back against the chair and relaxing his legs. “I'm not picking sides, Sirius.”
Sirius cried out “Moony” as he threw himself in Remus' bed again. Face down to the mattress so his voice was muffled and Remus couldn't hear what he was saying.
Remus rolled his eyes and walked towards his bed, hearing the wood crack under the weight of both men. He lifted his hand to tangled it in Sirius' locks. When he received no reaction, he sighed, lowering to the neck, caressing the skin over there.
“Siri?”
Sirius mumbled something inaudible.
Remus gave a soft bite in his ear, gaining a surprised sound in response.
“I am not picking sides.” Remus repeated, kissing the area he had just bit. “Jus' trying to make you see from a different point of view. James makes him feel happy, I can see that. Not only that but Reg makes Prongs happy, too. They hid it from me as well, you don't think I was upset?”
That was what made Sirius raise his head to meet Remus' amber eyes in a curious glance.
“But I know why they did it.” Remus tried to reason, eyes softening at Sirius' messy hair. Looks like a tiny lion. “They were scared. We were scared too, weren't we?”
A pink tone traveled through Sirius cheeks in slight shame. “I suppose so.”
Remus smiled, “Then don't hold it against them for long.”
Sirius sighed, looking down at Remus' covered chest and playing with the collar of the sweater. “'kay.”
“I'll still hold it against them for a few hours more though.” He said after a moment of peaceful silence.
Remus laugh echoed through the room.
“You're such a diva.”
“And you love me.”
“And I love you.”
There was no denying in that.
“I'll talk to him.” Remus heard a small voice say, “D'you— d'you think he will forgive me?”
“If you forgive him too, that is.”
Sirius traced the same word on Remus' arm distractedly, “I have. A long time ago.”
“Then, he will forgive you too, love.”
Sirius scratches his eyes, he was sleepy, “How are you so sure about everything?”
“I'm not.” Remus chuckled, squeezing him in his embrace. “I'm really not.”
But he was sure about something: them. And that wouldn't change any time soon.
★
Hogwarts Library.
Pandora couldn't understand how people didn't like to study Ancient Runes. It was the most amazing—after Care of Magical Creatures, of course— subject in Hogwarts.
She could spend hours reading books about runes and their history and their meaning. Each symbol was a bit special to her.
“Lestrange.”
The blonde girl didn't really pay attention to her surroundings when she was concentrating on something, so Pandora did not notice Sirius Black scooting over in a chair by her side without permission.
“Lestrange.” Sirius hissed, eyeing around as if he was supposed to be caught doing an awful crime.
He didn't get along with Regulus' friends, and vice versa. He was still getting used to the fact that Regulus was speaking to James.
Pandora looked up startled. Upon seeing Sirius she tilted her head, “Black?”
“That is my name, yes.”
Her bright baby blue eyes narrowed him down, “What did you do this time?”
Sirius gave her an aggravated look, “Why would I have done anything?”
“Because you only come to me when you need to know about Reggie or when you're guilty about saying something mean to him.”
A twist of lips later, Sirius replied, “In my defense, I'm trying.”
She closed the book with a thud, “You're not trying enough.”
“I'm aware of that. Now, would you please stop with the hostility so I can explain?”
Pandora raised her eyebrows in a disinterested look, “Go ahead, then.” Sirius thanked her with a scoff.
“I need to... to talk to Reggie.”
“Alright...?”
“And— And I.” He gulped, nervous, “I need—”
“You need me to convince him to talk to you, is that it?” She deadpanned, “This is your fight, you screwed up, I shouldn't even be involved.”
“Merlin,” He pressed a finger against his forehead, slightly annoyed at her behaviour. He wasn't aware Pandora was so damn protective. “Okay. I'm trying to have a better relationship with my brother. I want to mend things with him, I want to understand him again.” The last part he shouldn't have said out loud, it was just something that went over his head at the moment, but it wasn't a lie. He did want to understand his brother. Regulus was no longer the young boy he left at 12th Grimmauld Place, that used to obey every bit of his parent's orders and speak quietly because it was impolite to do otherwise. No. He was different. He wanted to be apart of this difference. He wanted to be there for him.
That seemed to calm Pandora's armour and she relaxed her shoulders. “Fine. What do you need help with?”
Sirius sighed in relief.
★
Outside Area around the Castle. After classes.
"Smoke this shit away from my face, Marlene." Mary cursed, waving off the smoke with both of her arms.
Marlene shifted away from Mary and closer to her girlfriend so she could lay her head down on Dorcas' lap. In the middle of the position change, Dorcas took the blunt between Marlene's lips and pressed against her own, receiving a frown from the blonde. She sent her a wink in response.
"When are we shopping for dresses?" Emmeline Vance asked, face buried in homework as her eyes drifted fast though the page.
"We can go to Hogsmead this weekend?" Marlene offered, stealing the weed stick back from Dorcas, who didn't even blink. Lily mumbled in agreement by Remus' side. "I don't feel like getting a dress though."
"Oh?" Emmeline muttered, interested enough to lift her head this time. "Are you thinking skirts? Because I wanted to change for a bit this year..."
Dorcas chuckled quietly by herself as Marlene rolled her eyes, "No, Em. Like, pants n' stuff. Wanna feel comfortable while dancing my brains out."
Emmeline widened her eyes, "But- but we have a dress code."
"Yes, and?" Marlene shrugged, "Dumbledore will expel me because I didn't follow his dressing desires?"
Remus eyes softened when Emmeline blushed, embarrassed. He scooted closer to where she was, calling her attention on a question she had mistook the spell. They started discussing it afterwards.
"What about dates, girls?" Mary sing-songed, closing her eyes when the wind blew on her curls. "Have you all got someone?"
Lily, who was writing a letter to her parents, almost smudged the parchment.
"I do," Dorcas leaned down to press a kiss to Marlene's nose.
"Obviously." Marlene intertwined their fingers with a small smile.
Mary rolled her eyes with an expression of adoration towards the girls. She turned to the ones who stood silent.
“Rem, Lily, Em...?” Mary tilted her head, feeling the sun bathe her skin. “Sorry, Remus. I said girls, but you're included, too.”
“Alright.” He chuckled. “I'm not really in the mood for parties.”
Mary groaned, rolling her eyes. “What are you going to do during the night then? Shove a book in your face while everybody else has fun?”
“There's nothing wrong with reading, Mary.” Emmaline chipped in, still concentrated on her homework. She was almost finished.
Mary turned her attention towards the only quiet one, nudging the red haired feet with her foot. Lily looked up startled, “What about you, Lils? Although I bet James already asked you two months ago.”
Everyone shared laughs at that, except Lupin, who studied Lily quietly for her reaction. He could feel her uncomfortableness radiating by his side.
“Huh, actually...” Lily said, eyes shifting to her own little audience. “Yes, yes, he did.” Remus could feel his insides burst with something; it was embarrassment.
How on earth would she get out of this now?
“Was it romantic?” Lily's chest was constructing so hard she night cry in the next question Mary did. “James Potter has been in love with you since third year. I don't doubt you'll get married, too—”
“Who's getting married?” Sirius walked up to them, plotting down besides Dorcas and Marlene. He send a wink to Remus, who rolled his eyes.
“Lily and James, as soon as Hogwarts is finished. Wanna bet?” Mary grinned mischievously to him. Sirius frowned and Remus gave him a stern look, to not answer anything stood, he immediately understood.
“Nah, don't really need to bet something that's already written.” He shrugged. Lily stared at him for a while, almost crushing the parchment in her hand.
The red-haired then got up, pushing her robes down as she did, not even bothering to clean the leaves and dirt in the fabric for she had been sat on the grass this whole time. Grabbing her stuff, she stormed off in the school's direction.
“What just happened?” Mary widened her eyes, watching her friend go. “Did I said something—”
“I think you've been forcing James down her throat for a long time now,” Everyone who was confused became startled by Emmaline's contribution to the situation. She didn't even looked up, “Yes, they may go on dates and things of the sorts but what if she doesn't want to marry him? Or even seriously date him?”
Remus and Sirius shared nervous glances.
“You made a good point,” Marlene said guilty, “You think we've being too much with her about this?”
Emmaline hummed in agreement. She sighed when she was done with the assignment, throwing it in Remus' lap so he could correct it.
“I'll apologize later, I guess.” Mary muttered, still confused.
★
Dinner Time. The Great Hall.
James Potter spit out all of the orange juice in his mouth, sputtering out liquid from his lungs because it had entered the wrong pipe. Some students sitting around the table gave him a disgusted look.
“You did what, Wormtail?”
Peter was too interest in his food to mind the looks James was giving him. “Invited Macdonald to the Winter Ball, this afternoon. Are you deaf today?”
“Why would you do that?” James cried, passing a hand through his curls.
Peter pulled a face, “Because I fancy her? And I don't like pinning like you lot do, I'd rather go for it.”
James scoffed, clearly offended. “Pining? Right.” He hasn't been pining for a long time. He had gone for it, but Peter didn't need to know it yet. “What did Mary said?”
“She said yes!” Peter shrieked, dropping his fork, “Why? Do you think she'd say no?!”
“I don't know, it's just a question!” James raised his arms in surrender.
Peter sighed, resting against his chair, “Did you know there's a rumor going around the castle?” James narrowed his eyes at him, “About Padfoot...?”
James almost felt relieved that it wasn't about him. “Which rumor?”
“That he is inviting Pandora to go with him to the Ball.”
James froze his hand on the cup, “What?”
“Yes,” Peter said in a hushed tone, leaning forward on the table as if he was going to say an important secret. “They've been meeting secretly at the library.”
“Merlin, where are you hearing these things, Wormy!”
“Around!”
“Then stop believing this stuff!” James scowled, glaring at some girls that were staring at his table. “What!” They quickly looked away.
His honey brown met stormy ones in the other side of the room and he instantly relaxed.
He'd have to ask Reg about it. Why on earth would Pandora and Sirius even go the Winter Ball together? What about Remus?
What if something happened between them? God, James was so out of the loop these days.
The tension with Sirius was up through the roof. They barely spoke after that night and Remus didn't share much either, so he was completely lost.
★
Right after dinner. Greenhouse.
“You have that face. What's wrong?” Regulus took James out of his turmoils.
James frowned, plucking some flowers. “I don't have a face.”
“You do,” Regulus says, tilting his head as he watches his boy move around. “If you don't want to talk about it, it's alright.”
“I have a feeling something will go terribly wrong at any moment.” James blurts out, throwing a flower on the ground with a shake of his head. “And I don't know what to do about it. How to fix it. If there's anything to be fixed—”
“You don't have to fix everything, James.” Regulus retorts, approaching him, “It's not your burden to carry. To fix everything around you.”
“I know!” James marvels, startling himself as the sound comes out of his mouth. He never yelled. He instantly felt his throat constrict. But Regulus didn't even blink. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...”
"You don't need to apologize." Regulus brushed James' wild strands away from his forehead, causing the other boy to sigh in delight. "Is there anything I can help with?"
James played with the rings in Regulus' fingers; he realized Reggie liked rings as much as Sirius liked bracelets.
"Do you know anything about Sirius and Pandora going to the Winter Ball together?"
Regulus hummed in response, "I've heard it on the corridors."
"So, she didn't tell you anything? If it's true?"
That made the Black boy chuckle, "True? Pandora and Sirius? C'mon, James. You're supposed to be smart."
James pouts, lowering his head to rest on Regulus chest. He felt the thumping against his ears, calming him down. "Why are the rumours happening then?" Regulus tensed slightly and James looked up at him.
"Sirius is trying to... talk to me. So, I guess Pandora is the easiest way to do it."
James frowned, "He is?" See? He was out of the loop on this, too. "Have you two talked then?"
"No," Regulus said, "Not yet. I don't put much faith he will keep this up either." He then searched for something in James' expression. "He didn't tell you?"
A scoff left James' mouth, "We're not really on speaking terms, Reg."
Regulus stared at him in bewilderment, "Why?" He couldn't begin to think why James and Sirius, the inseparable and untouchable pair, would stop speaking to each other.
"Ever since he found out about... us. Well, it didn't go too well."
"Ever since he found out...." Regulus voice failed, "Sirius knows about us?" James opened his mouth and closed it a few times, not answering. "James. Since when does he know?"
"A few- a few weeks?"
"A few weeks?!"
"Two. At most!" James spurts out desperately.
"And you didn't think of telling me about this?" Regulus retracts his hands, a hurt look in his eyes.
"I didn't even thought about this, Reg. I'm sorry, alright? It was my mistake, it kind of got out-"
"Oh, so you told him? You told my brother we were together and didn't think that discussing it with me beforehand was necessary?"
James stepped back as if he had been slapped, "I did think it was necessary, Reg. But it happened and I couldn't take it back." He watched Regulus walk further towards the glassed windows of the Greenhouse and he had to refrain himself from reaching out and holding him. "I'm sorry, love. I should've told you sooner that he knew."
"You should have."
James gulped at the numbness in his voice.
When Regulus turned around, James was almost afraid to meet his eyes. "I'm not mad at you."
"What?"
"I know you didn't do it on purpose." Regulus said, rolling his eyes. "What did he say?"
James bit his cheek, adjusting his glasses subconsciously. "Uh."
Regulus narrowed his eyes, "What, James?"
"He made it very clear not to hurt you." James said, studying Regulus carefully. "Which I'd never think of doing, really." Regulus hummed, crossing his arms. "Then, well."
"Then what, Potter?"
"He punched me. But it didn't even hurt-"
"Sirius punched you?" Regulus asked, voice stone cold as he stepped closer to James, inspecting his features as if he would find the wound inflicted by his brother. "Where?"
"Doesn't matter, Reggie."
"Well," Regulus crossed his arms, "Did you punch him back?" James widened his eyes.
"What? Uh, I-"
Regulus let out an exhale, the corner of his lips turning up. "Who am I kidding? You couldn't hurt a fly."
"Hey!" James pouted, "I would've punched him back if Remus hadn't pulled us back."
"Right. Of course." Regulus grinned, relaxing his shoulders. "This is why you and Sirius are stranded?"
"A bit, yeah." He answered sincerely. He then lifted his hand to touch Regulus' cheek softly, "But this isn't your fault, alright?"
"It seems like it is a little." Before James could retort, Regulus pecked his lips. "But I don't care. Don't regret being with you at all. About you and Sirius... He will come around. He cares about you, so don't worry too much, okay?"
"He cares about you, too, you know? You're his brother."
"Does he even considers me his brother anymore?" Regulus smiled bitterly, looking down at their shoes. "We haven't talked since... Since he left."
James touched Regulus' chin, traveling his finger down to his neck. "Of course, he does. He talks about you, Reg. He just doesn’t know how to approach. But he'll figure it out. And you'll- you'll leave that house, too, right?"
Regulus buried his nose in James neck, breathing in his scent. "I'm trying to, James."
"I know, love."
“Will you have patience with me?”
“Why would you even ask that? Of course I will. I'm just here to give you strength and maybe some pushes.” Regulus laughed and James smiled, eyes glinting with fondness. “Just like you do with me.”
“I do?” He asks, eyebrows creasing slightly.
James rolls his eyes, pulling him closer by the hip. “All the time you don't even realize it.” That brought a smile to Regulus' features.
“Okay, Shakespeare. I need to go. Got Quidditch practice in five minutes, I'm already late.” Regulus says, making James pout, stealing another kiss from him. When they split apart, the Black flicked James' forehead, who mumbled a ow! “You are making me late!”
“I don't regret it!”
“Bye, Potter.” Regulus leaves a last kiss on his cheek and moves towards the exit of the Greenhouse, before James calls out his name again and he turns around. “Ouch!” Regulus covers the wounded spot with his hand, glaring at James for the payback.
“Bye, baby.” And Regulus flicks him off, exiting the Greenhouse with a stupid smile.
★
2:03p.m. Hogwarts Halls.
Mary MacDonald didn't think twice about saying a lot of things. Most of the time she just blurted it out and deal with it. Her friends were used to it.
Until she go overboard. Like she did with Lily. Her best friend. Somehow, she didn't realize what was going on and just teased the redhead without a second thought. And she was beating herself up for it. As she should. Whoever would think about hurting Lily Evans should consider their options upon still belonging to the living realm; if Mary didn't find them first.
But, she did that. She hurt Lily. Now, she'd have to fix it.
Throughout the whole castle, Mary couldn't find Lily until the end of the afternoon, when they had the same last class of the day.
“Lils!”
Lily jerked back at the sound, searching for the culprit. Mary. She immediately tensed.
“Hi, d'you have a minute?” Mary asked with her big brown eyes staring into Lily's soul.
How could she even say no to that?
Lily nodded, holding her books against her chest tightly as they walked to a more pacified hall.
“I wanted to say sorry about yesterday,” Mary says quietly, “It wasn't my intention to upset you, I just thought that because James has always been all over you—”
“Right.” Lily interrupts her abruptly, “James has been all over me since third grade, and you've been all over this subject every bloody week of this month. What it is with me and James that irks you so much, Mary?”
A look of incredulity flashed before Mary's facial features, “N-nothing! I just think you two are cute, why are you so bothered by it?!”
“Because it is very annoying!” Lily snapped, not realising the hold she had on the books had eased, causing them to fall. One fell right on her foot. And she emitted a shriek of pain. “Shit!”
“Here, let me—”
“No!” Lily waved a hand at her, making Mary stop walking towards her in astonishment. “I don't need your help. I'm fine.”
She flinched, massaging her hurt foot. With no much of a minute later, she collected the books and left the hallway wimping without looking back.
Mary stood there, students passing over her, unmoving. She didn't know why Lily had gotten so mad. She didn't know she was being too much. But most of all, she didn't know why the idea of Lily Evans and James Potter irked her so much. It wasn't truthful interest. It was actually... bothersome.
Bothersome?
She's your best friend, you should be happy for her! Her mind screamed. But she wasn't happy. She was bothered. She just didn't know the whole reason behind it yet.
★
It was evening when the Slytherin Quidditch practice was officially over; all the boys and girls scrambled around, some running to take a shower and others stayed in the field to lose time with friends.
Regulus could not stand the sweat in his body after a round of playing— he felt disgusted. So he'd take a shower before anything else. Just as he was changing out of his dirty uniform, something slipped out. A small torn out piece of paper.
Need you at the Black Lake by eight o'clock. Urgently.
P.S
He didn't need to recognize the initials to know whom that neat handwriting belonged to: Pandora.
It said 'urgently'. He wonders if something happened. Why over the Black Lake? He didn't ponder much before rashly putting on his robes and leaving the changing room.
The Black Lake was one of the places where the sun took longer to set. It was strange being there at that time of the evening, darkness clouding over some corners. Pandora did not like places like that, especially at that hour. What on earth was she up to?
“Pandora?” He called out, searching for her bright blonde hair. He couldn't see her anywhere. A quiet curse left his lips when he imagined that something must've happened to her. But what? He had no ideia. And now he didn't know where she was either—
“Regulus.”
His hands tightened around the note, tousling it around the edges. His whole body freezing.
That wasn't his best friend's voice. Not in the slightest. And he was scared to turn around to face the person that called out his name after months of pretending he didn't exist.
Regulus wished he was hallucinating. Because when he did turn around slowly, the last person he wanted to see that night was the one standing before him, seven steps away, at most.
His brother. Sirius Black.