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Olive barely remembered entering the hotel room. The run from the conference room was mostly a blur and Olive was honesty surprised she’d arrived at the right hotel room. Her shaking legs were moment away from giving out and she sank down onto the bed. Her brain unable to switch off from what had just happened.
A pretty girl like you should know the score by now.
She lifted a shaking hand to her lips. Tom hadn’t actually kissed her, but the very knowledge that he’d tried to was enough to make her feel dirty.
You fucked Adam didn’t you? Well we both know you’re going to fuck me for the same reason.
A half laugh, half sob rose in her throat at Tom assuming that she was having sex with Adam to get on in academia, when Olive hadn’t had sex in years. Olive tugged at the sleeves of her cardigan. The big question now, was what did she do? Tom had just sexually harassed her and threatened to steal her work if she didn’t go through with her collaboration and go to work in his lab. All of which were illegal. Yet there had been no witnesses. No one who would back her up. No one who would believe her.
Olive glanced warily at the hotel room door. She knew Adam would have finished his keynote address by now. She hoped against hope he was staying downstairs to socialise. If he came here and found her like this then he wouldn’t rest until she’d told him.
Quick question. Who do you think Adam will believe Olive?
Olive shut her eyes as more tears leaked out. She knew who Adam would believe. Regardless of how differently he was with her compared to anyone else, the fact remained they’d only know each other for a few weeks. He’d known Tom since grad-school. Her and Adam were at best acquaintances whilst he and Tom were close friends. Adam and Tom had a history. All she had with Adam was a handful of fake coffee dates. Olive didn’t blame Adam. If someone told her than Anh or Malcolm had done what Tom did, she’d have a hard time believing it as well.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket and Olive fished it out. All it was, was an email notification from Dr Aslan. No doubt asking about her talk. Olive swiped it away with a sigh. She’d been so excited about giving her first talk. Terrified to the point of passing out. But also excited. A chance to finally show people her work and why it was so important. A chance to make her mum proud of her. And in a few cruel words, Tom had ruined it for her. Wiping her eyes for the umpteenth time, Olive glanced at her phone screen. She’d started her recording a few minutes before her talk. But now the time on the recording showed it had been going for over two and a half hours! Olive narrowed her eyes. Her talk had only been an hour and a half at most. She pressed the stop button on the recording and the timer stopped. Olive blinked at the numbers. Her brain slowly putting the pieces together.
She hadn’t stopped the recording after her talk. Her phone had still been recording!
With shaking fingers she opened up the recording. She didn’t want to ever hear Toms voice again. But she had to be sure. She skipped over the part that was her talk. Next to speaking in public, hearing her own voice was one of her least favourite things. With trembling fingers, Olive pressed play.
“It went well.”
Olive shuddered at Tom’s voice.
“Thank you. Yours too.”
“Where’s Adam?”
“Still giving his keynote I think.”
“Right.” He does that doesn’t he?”
“Does what?”
“Outdoes you.”
Olive hit the pause button. She wasn’t even listening to the worst of what Tom had said, yet she couldn’t continue. She hadn’t noticed at the time, but to hear Tom talking about Adam is such a cold way, actually hurt more. Adam was a good person who deserved to be loved just as much as anyone else. When she first met Tom (and later Holden) Olive assumed Tom cared about Adam in the same way she cared about Anh and Malcolm. And yet when Tom spoke about him, Olive could have almost sworn that he hated Adam. Olive set her phone aside. This changed everything. She had a recording. She had proof of what Tom had done. What he’d said. If she showed it to someone they’d have to believe her. Adam would have to believe her.
Adam.
Olive glanced at the door once again as though just thinking about him would make him appear. Would a recording be enough? He was a scientist, trained to look at the facts and the evidence. But Tom was still his friend. And if he did believe her, what then? He would never agree to work with Tom. The grant they’d applied for would fall through. Adam would be stuck in his rut and she would have taken away one of the two friends he had in the world. Olive buried her face in her hands. She was trapped. If she said nothing, then Tom would get away with it. If she spoke up, then the man she loved would almost certainly hate her.
She heard the beep of the key card and hurried to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. She knew it would do anything given she’d been crying for a solid twenty minutes. She slipped her phone back into her pocket. She wouldn’t tell Adam. She couldn’t be the one responsible for destroying his friends career along with his own.
“Hey.” She kept her eyes on her lap so he didn’t see how red her eyes were.
“What happened?” His voice was low. Dark.
“Did you only just finish?” How she managed a breezy smile she had no idea. But it was clear from Adams face she wasn’t fooling anyone. “How did the Q and A-”
“What. Happened?” He was almost growling now.
“Nothing. I….”
Whatever fragile façade she had built up, crumbled. Olive glanced back down at her lap; aware of Adam moving and kneeling in front of her. His hands grasped hers tightly to reassure her he was here, before one hand left hers and gently reached up to cup her face.
“Olive. What happened?”
She couldn’t tell him. She just couldn’t. “Really. Nothing.”
She knew Adam didn’t believe her. He gave a small nod before saying “Did someone buy the last bag of chips?”
A weak laugh escaped her. “Yes. Was it you?”
“Of course.” He wasn’t smiling as he reached out and wiped away a loose tear with his thumb. “I brought all of them.”
“I hope it was worth it because you are so getting type 2 diabetes.”
“Worth it.”
“You monster.”
“Is that how you talk to your fake boyfriend?” His eyes narrowed again. “What happened Olive?”
She knew she had to tell him something. It didn’t have to be the truth. Not all of it at least.
“I just…” Olive tugged at her cardigan sleeves. “My talk. It went okay. My friends said it did.”
Adam nodded as though he’d expected nothing less. Olive glanced down. She couldn’t look at him for this part.
“But then I heard people talking about it and they said….”
“What?” Adam whispered. “What did they say?”
“That it was derivative. Boring. That I stammered. That they knew I was your girlfriend and that was the only reason I was chosen to give a talk.” The words came out in a rush, and when she risked a glanced through her lashes at Adam, she wasn’t surprised to see he was seething.
“Who?” His hand still holding hers gripped it tightly. “Who were they?”
Olive shook her head. “Someone I…. I’m not sure.”
“No.” Adam gently tipped her head up to match his gaze and Olive was taken aback at the anger blazing in his eyes.
“You know who it was. I know you do.”
“I don’t.” She shook her head just as more tears started to fall. “Adam honestly I don’t know who they were.”
“Did you see their badges.”
“No I… I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Olive.” Adam cradled her face in his hand. “Olive please talk to me. I know you and I know you are a terrible liar. You know who those people were and trust me when I say they are not worth protecting.”
Olive shook her head. If only it was so simple.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Bullshit.” Adam snapped. “If they made you cry and told lies then it matters.”
“No really. It doesn’t matter. I’m only halfway through my PhD whilst they…. They were probably highly respected people in their fields. They’ll have listened to hundreds and talks and will know-”
“Stop.” Adam grip was starting to tighten to the point of discomfort. “Stop talking like that. I might not have seen your talk, but I know about your work. It’s brilliant. You are brilliant. Whoever those people were, they were wrong. Now please tell me who they were because I know you know.”
“Adam I…” Her resolve was crumbling every second she spent looking at him. “I can’t.”
His gaze softened. “You can. Olive, I promise you can tell me.”
“No.” The tears were falling thick and fast now. “No I can’t. I can’t do that to you. I can’t… not to you!”
“Olive.” Adam fixed her with a look that she’d seen him use on plenty of his grad students.
“Tell me who it was.”
Olive’s brain went through every single possible outcome. There wasn’t a single one that ended well. And if she did go an work in Toms lab, what was there to stop him trying to hurt her again? To try and kiss her or worse? Adam gave her a small shake.
“Olive? Tell me!”
“It was Tom!” She yelled. “It was Tom Benton! He said those things! He came up to me after the panel and said those things and more!
Adam’s grip vanished and the colour fled from his face.
“Tom?” His voice was scarcely a whisper, yet it reverberated in Olives ears. She nodded.
“Tom.”
Adam sat back on his heels. “I… I can’t…”
He got up and Olive jumped to her feet. “Adam It’s true. I swear. I even have a-”
He turned and stormed from the room before she had a chance to finish. The door slammed shut behind him and Olive collapsed onto the bed in a sobbing heap.
Of course Adam wouldn’t believe her. Tom was his friend. She wasn’t anything to him.
Adam very quickly lost track of how many times he’d paced up and down outside the hotel room. He couldn’t get Olive’s terrified face from his mind.
“It was Tom! He said those things and more!”
Adam shook his head. He’d been friends with Tom since grad-school and he’d never have imagined Tom to be the type of man to do something so cruel. But as that thought came, his pacing slowed. Adam thought back to how several of the female students in his lab avoided Tom. How there had been two cases where students of Toms had claimed he’d used their own findings for his work. Adam had always dismissed those claims. Tom was a good scientist in his own right. He had no need to steal other peoples work. And he’d offered a lab place for Olive. He must think her work important to do something like that. He had nothing to gain from this.
Yet neither did Olive.
Adam sank against the wall. Olive needed a bigger lab. Tom was her only chance. She had no reason to lie. Aside from that, he knew she couldn’t lie. She'd told him herself she was an awful liar. Besides, she would never lie to him. He wasn’t entirely sure what this thing was between them, but he knew Olive would never lie to him. Ever. Which mean she was telling the truth. A man he thought was his friend was really a disgusting piece of shit who had made the love of his life cry. Adam pressed his clenched fists against his thighs. He’d really like to find Tom and beat him to a bloody pulp. But that wouldn’t stop Olive crying. It wouldn’t fix anything. Running a hand through his hair, Adam took a deep breath, and re-entered the room to find Olive curled up on the bed with her back to him.
It was then that Adam Carlsen, PhD, MacArthur Fellow, writer of countless papers and articles (several of which had ended up being featured in magazines) tenured professor and keynote speaker, realised he had just done something incredibly stupid.
Olive had just told him Tom Benton had said horrible things about her and made her cry, and his first reaction had been to walk away. He might as well have held up a sign saying I DON’T BELIEVE YOU in big letters. Treading carefully so as not to startle her, Adam crept round to her side of the bed. The fact she was lying on his bed went unnoticed for now; despite the fact he’d been pinning for such a thing to happen for three years. Still, that wasn’t important now. He knelt down beside her and pushed several loose curls away from her face. Olive was staring at the wall opposite. Her eyes glazed and unfocused. It wasn’t something Adam every wanted to see again.
“Olive.” He whispered. “Olive look at me.”
“It’s the truth.” She said softly. “I swear I’m not lying. I would never lie. Not to you.”
“I know.” He kept gently stroking her hair. “I know. I’m so sorry. I should never have left you. I… I was shocked and I needed a moment, but that doesn’t excuse the fact I left you and I am so so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She sniffed. “I mean he is your friend.”
“He’s nothing to me.” Adam spat. But Olive continued like he hadn’t spoken.
“He’s your friend and I’m… well I’m me. You’ve known him for years and only known me a few weeks.”
“I doesn’t work like that Olive.” Adam wanted nothing more than to kiss her. “It doesn’t matter if I have known you for three weeks or three years. I believe you.”
He wasn’t exactly wrong. The fact he had actually known her for three years was just a happy coincidence. Olive gave a small shake of her head.
“I don’t blame you for not believing me.”
“Hey!” Adam gently took hold of her and eased her up into a sitting position. “Listen to me Olive. I believe you. Okay? I. Believe. You!”
She blinked up at him. “But Tom… He’s…”
“He’s nothing.” Adam repeated. “He’s nothing to me now.”
He stared at her. Willing for her to believe him. Olive didn’t say anything for a few moments before giving a small nod.
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey. What are you apologising for?”
She shrugged. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. You were applying for a grant together and your research… That’s all gone now because of me.”
“No.” Adam took her face in his hands. “Olive no. You have done nothing wrong. Tom is the one who is to blame. Not you. God please don’t ever think you’ve done something wrong. What we need to do now is work out what to do.”
Olive nodded. “I know.”
“I’m guessing there were no witnesses?” Adam asked, even though he already knew the answer. Olive shook her head and pulled her phone from her pocket.
“I have something better. I was recording my talk and I forgot to switch it off until I got back here.”
Adam blinked at her phone, not quite getting her point.
“Adam.” Olive handed him her phone. “Tom came up to right after my talk. Whilst my phone was still recording!”
Adam stared up at her. Olive’s smile was genuine now even though her tears. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.
“You truly are brilliant!” He whispered softly. “Brilliant.”
Olive ducked her head ,but he caught her blush just in time. “Do you have any earphones? I… I can’t listen to it again. But it’s all there.”
Like hell he was making her listen to something so vile. Adam hurried over to his laptop bag and fished out his Airpods.
“Do you… will you be okay sitting here while I listen or…”
Olive nodded. “As long as I don’t have to hear anything.”
Adam fitted his Airpods in and opened up the recording. With one hand holding Olives phone, he reached over and took her hand in his other.
“I should warn you.” Olive whispered. “It’s not pretty.”
Adam gave a grim nod. “I know. But once I’ve listened then it’s over, okay? And then I’m going to fix this. I promise.”
Olive squeezed his hand and Adam glanced down at the phone screen. He knew what he was about to listen to, would be something he’d never unhear for as long as he lived. But it was a small price to pay, to make sure he fixed this for Olive.
He pressed play.
Olive watched Adams face the whole time he listened to the recording. He wasn’t giving much away other than the fact the rage burning in his eyes grew and grew as he listened. Eventually he pressed the stop button and let go of her hand.
“Adam?”
“Hold on.” He fished his own phone and began briefly glancing between the two screens and tapping away on both keyboards. After a couple of minutes he slid his phone back into his pocket and handed hers back over.
“I’ve just emailed myself that recording.” He explained, taking out his earphones. “Better to have two copies.”
Olive nodded and set her phone on the bedside table. “Adam I-”
“I’m so sorry Olive.”
She turned to face him and was shocked at the look in his eyes. Rage but also…..shame? Adam retook her hands.
“I am so sorry. I should never have trusted him with you. I should have never left you alone with him.”
“Adam it wasn’t your fault.”
“No.” He insisted. “I should have come to your talk. I should have been there. Then he would never have…” His voice cracked. “None of that would have happened.”
“You couldn’t have known.” Olive reminded him. “Besides, if he hadn’t done it then, he would have found another moment. Either way something would have happened.”
As expected, Adam looked sick at the thought of Tom targeting her again. Olive squeezed his hands.
“It’s not your fault. No more than it is mine. Okay?”
Adam nodded shamefaced. “I think we’re doing this the wrong way around. I should be comforting you.”
Olive giggled. “Well I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”
A smile tugged at his lips and they fell in silence for a few moments. Olive toyed with the hem of her dress.
“What happens now?”
Adam sighed. “I’ll speak to the Dean at Harvard and show him the recording. Tom’s behaviour and threats should be enough to get him fired. Then of course there’ll be the Title IX to deal with. But he won’t get away with anything. The recording is proof enough.”
Olive nodded; aware of Adam looking at her with concern.
“Adam?”
“Olive I…” He seemed unsure of how to word what he wanted to say. “I… I need to ask… did Tom do anything? I mean I heard what he said. But…well there seemed to be signs of a struggle in the recording and….”
Olive’s eyes widened. “Oh? That? Um…well yes he… Well he sort of grabbed me and….”
“Yes.” Adam’s voice was laced with poison. Olive took a deep breath.
“He tried to kiss me.”
Adam didn’t move for a few seconds. And then he reached out a hand and pushed her hair away from her face and neck. Olive knew he was staring at the red finger marks left from where Tom had grabbed her to try and pull her face closer to his.
“He’s a dead man.” Adam growled.
“Adam you don’t mean that.”
“I do.” He nodded. “I really do. If he was here right now there’s not much that would stop me wrapping my hands around his neck.”
Olive shuffled closer and placed both hands on his shoulders. “There’s me. I would stop you. I won’t have you lose your career and your freedom over him.”
Adam gently ran his fingers over the marks on her neck before letting his hand drop.
“No. And I would let you stop me Olive.”
Unsure what to make of such a comment, Olive sat back on the bed. Her stomach chose that moment to make an almighty growl and she clutched at it in mortification. Adam simply raised an eyebrow.
“Hungry?”
“I haven’t eaten since the protein bars.” She admitted. “And I think I was so terrified during my talk that it used up all remaining calories in my body.”
“Let’s get dinner.” Adam offered. “Unless…. I mean we could get room service if you don’t want to go out?”
Olive bit her lip. It would be so easy to stay inside, away from everyone else. But if she did that then Tom would think he had won. He’d think he’d beaten her.
“No.” She got to her feet. “Let’s go out. As long as you don’t mind. Given you’ll be paying.”
Adam rolled his eyes with a smile. “Why doesn’t that surprise me.”
“Hey, when grad students incomes increase, I’ll treat you to dinner.” Olive fumbled with the straps on her high heels.
“Olive it’s fine.” Adam placed a hand on her back to support as she wobbled on one leg.
“I like looking after you.”
Olive glanced up at him. “I know. I like that you look after me too.”
Olive glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. Adams Biology Ninja t-shirt – of which she had several questions – was big enough to cover her and make her look decent. Yet, as she fingered the hem of the t-shirt, Olive couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to always steal Adams t-shirts. Or hoodies – if he had them. To be able to go to sleep beside and wake up the exact same way. She gave her knees socks a final tug before leaving the bathroom. Adam was in his own pjs and was busy flicking through the movie options on the hotel TV.
“This one’s about a linguistics professor who’s asked to help decipher an alien….” He glanced up at her and immediately stopped talking. Olive tugged the t-shirt down and Adams gaze fell to where her fingers brushed halfway up her thighs.
“Glad it….fits.” He nodded before turning back to the TV. Olive clambered onto the bed beside him.
“Good. Maybe I won’t ever give it back.” She teased. Adam’s nod wasn’t exactly curt, but it was obvious he was trying to hold something in.
“Keep it. Honestly, I have spare pyjamas to take with me after all.”
Olive blinked at him. “Where are you going?”
“I’m still going to Harvard tomorrow.” Adam explained. “Not to interview as such. But tomorrow I’ll see the Dean and get everything set in motion.”
“Oh.” Olive nodded. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised. Adam had told her he would tell the Dean. She had just naively assumed he’d send an email and would stay with her in Boston. The thought of tackling the next few days without Adam, wasn’t a pleasant one.
“How big’s your suitcase?”
“Hmm”
“Can I come with you?”
Adam set his phone and the TV remote aside and took her hand.
“Olive.” He said softly. “Don’t let him.”
“Let him?”
“Ruin this conference for you. Or science. Or make you feel any less proud of your accomplishments.”
“The sad thing is, I was enjoying it. My talk. Oh I was terrified I was going to puke every few seconds. But I was enjoying it. Showing people my work and why it’s so important.”
Adam nodded sadly. “I wish I’d been there Olive. So much.”
“And now I can’t help but wonder if he’s right? What if I am just mediocre?”
Adam shook his head; a light in his eyes that Olive couldn’t quite place. “You are not mediocre Olive. Far from it. And you were not invited to speak because people think you are my girlfriend. There’s no such things as SBD abstracts go through a blind review process. I would know because I have been roped into reviewing them in the past. And the work you do is important, rigorous, and brilliant.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Olive had nothing to say in response. Instead she cuddled up to him and allowed him arms to envelope her in a safe cocoon. She wondered if Adam was entirely comfortable, but he was making no complaints. Instead he seemed to be holding her as though he never wanted to let go. Olive felt his laps graze the top of her hair.
“Ik hou van jou Olive.”
Olive stilled. Thanks to a poster from a college roommate, she knew exactly what those words meant. Adam clearly assumed she knew no Dutch at all because he wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. He certainly wouldn’t have said that he…
“Olive?”
Olive looked up at Adam. He was watching her with concern. Concern and….love.
“What did you just say?”
Adams face gave nothing away and instead he gave a small shrug. “Something in Dutch. It… it’s nothing. Honestly.”
“No.” Olive untucked herself from his hug and sat on her knees. “What did you just say to me.?”
It was now Adams turn to avoid her gaze. “Olive it was nothing. I swear.”
Olive wasn’t sure her brain had enough energy left to process this. How could Adam Carlsen be in love with her? He was Adam and she was…well Olive. It didn’t make any sense. Then again her falling in love with him made even less sense. And yet….it happened. And it felt so right. With Adam still avoiding her gaze, Olive reached forward and took his hand.
“When I was in college, I had a roommate who had this poster. It had one phrase in several different language. French. Spanish, Italian. Dutch. I think Mandarin was there as well.”
Adam still wasn’t daring to look at her and Olive ploughed on.
“Anyway by the end of the year I knew how to say them all. It’s the only phrase I can say in multiple languages.” Olive took a deep breath. “That phrase, is I love you. In Dutch it’s Ik hou van jou.”
Her pronunciation was terrible, but Adam knew what she had said. He glanced warily at her as though she would bolt at any minute.
“Olive I….”
“You love me?” She gasped. Adam nodded.
“Of course I do. How could I not? You are beautiful and smart and funny and….and you’re you! Any sane man would love you.”
Olive wasn’t often rendered completely speechless, but it was clear this was going to be one of those moments. Adam nodded bitterly.
“I know you couldn’t possibly feel the same way. And that’s fine. I accepted that fact years ago.”
“Years ago?” Olive echoed. “But you…. you didn’t know me until I kissed you.”
A thought hit her. If she had remembered that Adam was the bathroom guy, then what if…. What if Adam had also remembered?
“I never forgot you.” Adam said as though he could hear her thoughts. “That day we first met in the bathroom. I never ever forgot about you.”
Olive nodded. “Holden. He…he said there was this girl you’d been pinning over for years. You were concerned about being in the same department. So she was-”
“You.” Adam finished. “Every since I met you I have thought about no one else. But I knew you didn’t remember me or even know me other than the asshole Doctor Carlsen.”
Olive shook her head with a laugh. “Adam I was wearing expired contacts that day. I could barely see. All I knew was I was talking to someone tall with dark hair. I never forgot you. I just had no idea what you looked like.”
Adams eyes widened. “You…. you remembered me?”
Olive nodded eagerly. “I never realised it was you until Fluchella. Something about you made me wonder. But I wasn’t certain, and I had no idea you remembered me so I didn't bring it up.”
Adam took her hand and laced their fingers together. “I could never forget you Olive. Never.” A dark cloud then spread across his face.
“But the fact remains you don’t love me. You love someone else. And that’s fine. Honestly, it’s fine. I accepted that fact a long time ago. You are extraordinary and I can’t imagine any man-”
“Adam stop.” Olive cut him off. “I don’t love anyone else. I was scared and I didn’t want you knowing the truth. I didn’t want to spoil what we had so I lied to protect myself.”
Adam seemed unwilling to believe her. “You…. you don’t love someone else? But in Starbucks? You and Malcolm were talking about someone you had feelings for?”
“Yes.” Olive nodded tearfully. “You!”
Adam froze for exactly ten seconds before diving forward and claiming her lips with his. One hand cupped Olives face whilst the other pressed itself against her back. Olive gripped his t-shirt, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Adam kept his hips pressed tight against hers and she could feel him straining through his pyjamas at how much he wanted her. She could say with confidence that the feeling was mutual. Adams lips left hers for a few seconds before they moved to her cheek. Her jawline. Her neck. Anywhere they could get.
“I love you Olive.” He mumbled between kisses. “More than you will ever know. And I will never hurt you. I will never leave you.”
Olive gently took his face so she could stare him deep in the eyes. The tears shining there took her breath away. She leaned forward and quickly kissed him again.
“I love too you Adam.”