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“Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye
And we caught onto something
I hold onto the night, you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me”
Year: 2012
“Hey baby. Do you think we’ll ever break up?” I asked my girlfriend.
“NOOOOO!!! You’re mine. I’ll never let you go.” My girlfriend said as she tackled me into a hug.
We started laughing and play fighting until she pulled out from the hug, held my face, and then looked me in the eyes. “You are single-handedly the most annoying person on the planet, but you are also the only person I’d tolerate this much.” She said before placing soft kisses around my face. “You are mine as I am yours Miss Im Nayeon.”
“Now get up before we miss our date night. We’ve had enough sunshine for one day.” I chuckled before getting up and picking up the blanket and pillows. We were at the park, just enjoying each other's presence. It had been such a stressful week for us, with our finals and projects due, we rarely had time for each other. So, the moment we found out that we had a day where both of us were free, we took it and planned a casual relaxing date.
In the morning, we had breakfast at our favorite brunch spot called, Cauldrons. It was like stepping into a magical garden turned into a café. The owner was a huge Harry Potter fan. Mina was excited when she first heard the news that there was going to be a small café near our apartment, saying how Starbucks was so far and that it was overpriced for just being regular coffee. So, when we went to the grand opening of the café you can easily guess that she instantly fell in love with the place. Coffee and Harry Potter combined were like a nerd haven for her. Seeing her like that though, eyes full of stars and wonder, was enough to make me feel like I fell in love for the first time again.
I walked up to the bookshelves where she was and hugged her from behind. “I love you” I whispered. She turned around and rested her forehead on mine, “forever.” She replied.
Mina and I have always been together. We were kids when we first met. I remember her first day. We were in 1st grade, and she was the new student everyone was talking about. When she introduced herself to the class, she said that she was from New York and that she moved to California because her parents got offered better jobs here. I don’t know what it was about her that I was drawn to, but I was adamant about being friends with her. Maybe I thought that she needed a friend. She seemed like the shy type when I saw her fiddling with her fingers when she was introducing herself to the class or maybe I thought she looked cute, like a penguin when she waddled to her seat beside mine. Or maybe it was because I finally got a seatmate after 3 months after the first day of school. Whatever it was, I’m glad younger Nayeon had the courage to introduce herself to younger Mina.
“Babyyyyy...” Mina whined while poking my cheeks.
“Yes love?”
“You were spacing out again.”
“I’m sorry. Did you ask me anything?” I answered with a smile. She puffed out her cheeks and said “yeah, I was wondering what we were going to watch, any movies in mind?”
“How about Disney movies? I kinda want to watch Hercules.”
“Okay. After that can we watch Harry Potter? I kinda wanna do the marathon tonight since we went by Cauldrons this morning.”
“Sure, anything you want baby. Should we order some take out?” She paused for a minute before showing me her gummy smile.
“I want some Japanese food! Sushi and ramen sound good for the rainy weather tonight!”
“Okay. I’ll order some right now and it should be here in about an hour or so. Could you check if we have any popcorn and candies left in the pantry? So, I can just order that too.” Mina stood up from the couch and made her way to our kitchen pantry. I heard her rummaging through the pantry and closing the door after.
“We still have popcorn here but no more of the sour gummy worms, raisin chocolates, and m&ms. Could you get me some Ferrero chocolate and then grab whatever candy you want.” She said. I got my phone out and placed an order at our favorite Japanese restaurant for a couple of sushi and 2 ramen bowls, one spicy tonkotsu for me of course, and a shoyu ramen for her. I also made another order from the grocery store for her Ferrero Roches and for my gummy worms and raisin chocolates. I checked the time, and it was only six at night, food should be delivered in an hour and the snacks should be here in 20 minutes.
“I got our stuff baby. Are you going to shower before it gets here?” I asked her when I noticed that she was walking to our bedroom instead of walking back towards the couch.
“Yeah, so that my hair dries before we get to bed. You know I don’t like blow-drying my hair too much, the heat kills it.”
“Alright. If you finish up early, I’ll take a shower too, but I won’t wet my hair. It gets frizzy when it's too cold, especially when it's raining outside.” I said.
“I love you baby!” she said before closing our bedroom door.
Present Day: 2024
I smile fondly whenever I think of the past. It reminds me of the life I used to have, a life where even a storm couldn’t ruin my day because I knew that I had Mina, my home. Then I remember the day when it all went wrong.
Were you just kidding?
'Cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down
We almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby what happened? Please tell me
'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door
Year: 2022
“Where the hell is she?” I impatiently tapped my fingers on the table.
“Ma’am are you ready to order?” The waiter, James, asks me for the 3rd time tonight. I looked at him and he gave me a sympathetic look.
“I’m sorry James, but she isn’t here yet. I wouldn’t want to order before my soon-to-be fiancé gets here.” he nods and leaves.
I’m getting really anxious because first off, tonight is Mina and I’s 13th anniversary, and we made plans to celebrate at our favorite restaurant and then take a late-night drive to the beach. Secondly, because I’m about to propose to her. It’s been 13 years since she said yes to being my girlfriend. We’ve been dating all through high school and college, I promised myself and promised our families that once we’re both stable enough that I’ll officially pop the question.
Even if I know that she’ll say yes, I can’t help but be so nervous. It doesn’t help that she’s an hour late to our anniversary dinner. She mentioned that this week was really hectic around the company she was working for, something about a promotion if her project does well.
Lately, I’ve noticed that she’s been spending so much time at her office rather than our apartment and whenever I’d try to talk to her, she’d either pretend to pay attention or have an outburst. I’m not sure why this promotion is so important to her when not too long ago, she was planning on quitting and moving to a better company. Whenever I asked her, all she said was that she was planning something and it required the promotion from her job. Either way, her job has been causing a lot of fights lately.
6 months ago
“Baby were you even listening?” I asked slightly annoyed.
“Huh? Yeah I was. Why?”
“Okay so what was I saying then?”
“Something about your friend’s wedding?” She said with uncertainty. I let out an exasperated sigh.
“You know what, whatever. It seems like whatever I’m saying isn’t important at all.” I said before walking out of our living room and into our bedroom. I sat on our bed and exhaled. I stared at the floor until tears flowed out of my eyes. It’s been like this with her for the past couple of months. She only pretends to listen to me and she doesn’t even make an effort to at least apologize. I don’t know what’s been going on inside her mind, she seems so cold and closed off that I don’t even recognize the girl I’m in love with. I continue sobbing until I hear the door to our bedroom open. I hear the light footsteps get louder the closer she comes to me. I feel her embrace and I lean into her.
“I’m so sorry baby. I’m sorry for not listening, I’m sorry if I’m spending less time with you, I’m sorry for not being there, I’m sorry for making you cry.” She whispered. I tried to stop myself from crying and tried to stabilize my breathing before speaking up.
“What’s going on Mina, I can understand if you can’t spend every minute with me but I can’t understand why I can’t have just a little bit of your time when we’re at home. Its not like I’m trying to prohibit you from working, I just want an hour of your time. Lately, all we’ve been doing is work, eat dinner at home, shower, and then go to bed to start the same old cycle again. I’ve been feeling so lonely even if I have you beside me, the last time we even talked longer than 5 minutes was when I was asking about what to buy for groceries. Just an hour of your time, is that too much to ask?” I said in between sobs.
“Baby, you know how important this is to me right? I can’t afford any distractions. I just want to do well and get that promotion. I promise, after all, that I’ll be all yours.”
“I’m not even asking for all your time Mina. I’m just asking for an hour, an hour where you tell me about your day, where I tell you about mine. Where you actually listen instead of pretending or shouting at me to shut up. I don’t need all your time, we’re both busy adults with our own responsibilities and jobs.”
“Nayeon could you at least listen to me?...”
“Mina. Just stop right there. You want me to give you your space for 6 MONTHS? SIX MONTHS MINA! You want me to just shut up and continue to live like this for SIX MONTHS just for this promotion that’s so important?” I fumed.
“You are so fucking selfish Nayeon! Six months isn’t a long time! I JUST NEED IT, CAN YOU GIVE ME THAT PLEASE? YOU ARE SO INSUFFERABLE, I SWEAR!” I flinched when she yelled at me. She was never like this, she never lost her composure like this. Did I push too much? Maybe I did…
“Fine. If that’s what you want.” I said before lying down on our bed and turning my back away from her.
Back in 2022: at the restaurant
It’s been two and a half hours already and Mina hasn’t replied to any one of my messages. Guess she probably forgot, too busy with her job. I feel the tears forming and before they could fall, I called James over and handed him a hundred-dollar tip before leaving the restaurant. I got into my car and drove; I didn’t know where I was driving to until I noticed a very familiar playground. I parked my car and sat down in one with two swings.
This playground was where I first confessed my love to Mina, where I told her that she means more to me than anything in the world. This same playground was where we had our first fight over a girl from Mina’s class who gave her a red rose. It’s also the playground where Mina told me that I didn’t have to wait anymore because I am hers and she is mine.
I took out the black velvet box from my pocket and opened it. It was a simple diamond ring; I didn’t want anything too flashy because it wouldn’t look right on her finger. I wanted a diamond ring that was simple and beautiful, a ring that would symbolize the love I have for her. A ring that would compliment her beauty but not overshine it. It didn’t take long before I realized that I was crying.
I kept on crying till I didn’t have any more tears to shed. All I felt was the sting from my eyes, the stuffiness from my nose, and the emptiness in my chest. I felt my phone vibrate and I knew immediately that it was her. She was calling, I already knew what she was going to say so I let the phone ring until it stopped. I sent her a quick message telling her to meet me at the playground. I didn’t wait for a reply and turned my phone off. I looked at my watch and the time read 9:24 pm. I sighed and walked to my car to rest, she won’t be here for another 2 hours or so.
I woke up to someone knocking on my window and see that it was her. My heart constricts, she’s really here, I glanced at my watch, and it was 11 pm. I get out of my car, and she tries to hug me, but I lightly pushed her away to walk toward the swings. I sat down on the same swing that I cried at, and she takes the swing next to me. We were both silent for a while until she spoke up.
“Baby… I’m so sorry. I got held up at work by my boss and guess what? I got the promotion!” She said trying to sound enthusiastic, but I could feel the nervousness in her voice and her movements. I chuckled bitterly.
“Congratulations.”
“Nayeon. Please. I’m sorry. You know how important this was to me.” She pleaded.
“So important that you stood me up for 2 hours?”
“Baby it’s not like that. I couldn’t leave.”
“NO. Don’t. You knew we had plans. I understand Mina, I always do but is it really that difficult to at least send me a text? A text to let me know what’s happening so I could I don’t know, not make a fool out of myself at that damned restaurant for 2 hours?!”
“I’m sorry okay! God! Do you know how stressful it has been trying to keep my record at the company to where it’s at now just to get this promotion? Just so I can give you a more stable life.”
“I didn’t ask for that Mina! I never did. I was always content with what we have, if there was anything lacking it was your lack of presence in our relationship for the half of this year.”
“But I wanted to give that to you, I wanted to give you everything, but you can’t even appreciate it.”
“I would’ve been happier about it if you didn’t shut me out or kept on being so irritated with my presence that I felt like I should’ve moved back in with my parents!” I glanced at my watch, and it read 11:22 pm. A few more minutes.
“Stop being so difficult and let’s just go home, have dinner, and watch a movie. Today was tiring enough as it is, and I don’t want to fight anymore.” She said with her hand in front of me. I lightly push it away and started crying.
“What now? Why are you even crying? I didn’t even say anything wrong Nayeon. God, you are such a drama queen.”
“You know what sucks Mina, is that even if you treat me this badly, even if you keep on hurting me in ways, I never knew you could, I will still endure it all because I fucking love you. I love you so much that I keep on doubting myself, I keep on thinking if I’m lacking something because lately, all you’ve done is berate me over and over again. I loathe myself so much because I feel like I can’t give you the version of myself that would keep you interested in me in the slightest bit. I’ve lost myself so much in this relationship but I don’t care because I love you. I love you so much that I’m killing myself a little more every day.” I looked at my watch, 11:59 pm.
Before she could say anything else, I pulled out the black velvet box that was in my pocket and reached for her hand. I saw the way her eyes opened, the way they glistened with tears, she looked at me and I smiled sadly at her.
“Happy Anniversary, love.” That was the last thing I said before I left and drove away. It took me a while before I checked the time on my car’s dash, 1:13 am. Fitting.
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said, "Forever and always"
Present Day: 2024
I’m back at the same playground where everything started and ended. It’s been two years since that night I left Mina. I walked out of my car and sat down on the same swing where I had cried out my whole heart and soul. I pondered what life would be like if things turned out differently. What if Mina had actually switched companies? Would we have the same problems as before? What if I understood her a bit more? Would that have lessened the fights? What if she wasn’t late for our dinner? What if she actually remembered our anniversary? Would we have been married? I keep asking myself these questions even if I know I’ll never get any answers to them.
I sighed and looked at the blue clear sky and hoped that maybe, just maybe she was looking at them at the exact same time as I did. 1:13 pm. Our anniversary date.
“You are mine.” I whispered before leaving.
In another place at the same time, 1:13 pm.
Mina was sitting by the window at Cauldrons. She comes here every year on the exact date of her and Nayeon’s anniversary. She finally had the courage to open the black velvet box that Nayeon had left her. She started to cry; it was a single cushion-cut diamond with a rose gold band. Inside the band, she noticed that there was something written. She read it and looked at the sky, hoping that God would hear the pleas in her heart to bring Nayeon back to her, hoping that Nayeon would hear what she was about to say.
“as I am yours.”