Archive of Our Own ^beta

1998

"So, first day at school," his mom starts, taking a sip of her too hot coffee. "Nervous, Jared?"

Shoveling the delicious scrambled eggs into his bottomless pit of a mouth, the sixteen-year-old boy glances up quickly, flashing a wide grin at his mom, tiny bits of eggs and bacon sticking between his teeth.

Ignoring his dad's disapproving look and his baby sister's disgusting "Yak, Jay", he just shrugs. "Nah, not really. It's not the first time I changed schools." There's not a hint of reproach in his words. It's just a statement about the simple truth.

It's Jared's fifth school switch in ten years, thanks to his dad's job as an environmental engineer that takes him to where the projects are, his family following him truthfully. Not that Jared blames Gerri for their unsettled life. The job is well paid, ensuring them a comfortable life in a big house with regular vacation trips around the world and an account that will pay for Jared's college education and probably much more.

"Got used to it, Mom. It'll be fine, probably easier than usual, you know, with the school year starting and me having already made a buddy." Jared flashes his mother another dimple-deep smile, washing the last taste of the scrambled eggs away with a huge mouthful of coffee before he reaches out to grab some toast.

Actually, Jared has never had problems adjusting at his new schools. The way he is, outgoing, sincere and funny, all around just likable, he's always made friends quickly, something his big brother Jeff has envied him before he went off to study at Harvard. The older Jared got, the less he actually minded changing schools. In a way, it broadened his mind, helped him to define who he is, getting to know so many people in different states with different backgrounds. He likes to observe his classmates and teachers and doesn’t listen to gossip. Open-minded as he is, Jared makes his own opinion about the people around him, and soon found out the sad truth that some people are horribly prejudiced against others who aren't as cool or popular as them.

This time, starting school should be particularly easy. It's the first day of the new school year - so chances are good that he won't be the only "new one" in his year - and most of all, he's already made a friend in the two weeks since they've moved to Oak River, Texas. Chad is sort of impudent, even louder than Jared and probably a dick, but Jared already liked him the first time they met, with Chad almost driving over one of Jared's packing boxes while they were unloading the truck that followed them all the way from Portland. Grinning mischievously, Chad had made a sassy comment but nevertheless returned after parking his old BWM in his garage, helping Jared to clear the road of the boxes, and spending almost every day with him after that first meeting.

Said BMW's honk is now echoing through the quiet neighborhood, inviting Jared to have a ride to school with Chad. Having only turned sixteen in July, Jared doesn't have a car yet so he's grateful to go with Chad, not having to take the school bus or ride his bike.

"That's Chad," Jared announces the obvious, cramming the last piece of toast into his mouth. "Got to go." He jumps up, grabbing his empty school bag from the corner of the kitchen and with a last wave to his family, their "Good luck" and "Have a nice day" ringing in his ear, Jared is gone.

***

"Okay," Chad whispers to him from behind, more than willing to tell Jared the names and background of their classmates in English Literature. Jared has already shakena good deal of hands but there are more than one hundred students in his year and he has probably only met a tenth of them in person yet and his mind is already swirling with all their names.

"These two," Chad points towards two tall guys in the last row, "are Tom and Mike. Inseparable like Siamese twins. They believe they are unbelievably funny," he grins broadly, "and normally, they are - if it isn't you they're pranking."

Turning his head quickly into the direction of two pretty girls, Chad continues, "The brunette is Sandy, the red-head Danneel. Two of the coolest girls in school, very cliche, you know, cheerleaders, everyone wants to go out with them. Danneel," Chad's voice shifts into a whisper, "is a bitch. Half the football team claims to have seen what she wears under her posh clothes. Sandy is quite the opposite. Sweet, kind, helpful. Everyone loves her and other than Danneel, she doesn't screw around with everyone. There's a third in league, Genevieve, but she's not taking Literature."

Chad scratches his nose, lowering his voice even more. "The guy next to you is Misha. Quarterback. Less bright than popular. And he can be quite a jerk sometimes. All the girls love him. But he only loves Sandy - who he can't have." Chad chuckles evilly. "Yeah, I think that was it. You met Chris and Steve before and the other two girls over there," Chad points again, "are Katie and Laura, but honestly, I can't tell you much about them. Very average."

Jared lets his glance wander over the classroom. The chair in front of him is still empty but the one at the window is occupied by a kid whose face is deeply buried into a book. "Who's that?" Jared asks, his head moving to the unknown boy's direction.

"Ah, him. I always forget him. That's our nerd. Jensen. He's really weird. Doesn't have any friends for all I know, barely doesn't talk to anyone. All he is interested in is reading and studying. Straight A student. But really, although I've known him since Junior High, I don't know much about him. Living with his mom and baby sister. Never seen his dad."

Jared throws another glance at Jensen, feeling a pang of pity for him. He can't even tell why, after all it could be Jensen's own fault, but it can't be nice, not having any friends and being branded as a nerd.

As if Jensen knew that he's being watched, he looks up from his book, meeting Jared's glance for a second. Green eyes behind old-fashioned glasses stab Jared, a sadness and melancholy in them Jared has never seen in a guy his age before. There's a hint of a smile on Jensen's face but then it's like the other boy slips on a mask of neutrality again, turning his attention towards his book once more.

Jared can't chase away the memory of those green eyes for the rest of the day.

***

In the next couple of days, Jared develops a weird fascination concerning Jensen. He not only shares English Literature but History, Biology and Calculus with him and Jared finds himself observing the kid as inconspicuously as possible.

Jared doesn't blame Chad for almost having forgotten to introduce Jensen because the kid is sort of invisible. He normally is the first in class, nose buried deeply into some book, not getting involved in the usual pranks and gossip. Unless directly asked, Jensen never speaks, even ignores any bitchy remark about himself, although his shoulders tense palpably when Mike or Tom mock him. Even in classes, he doesn't give his knowledge away freely, only answers questions when directly asked. What he says has rhyme and reason but he never boasts about his good grades or knowledge, just shrugs his shoulders self-consciously when a teacher praises his achievement. Normally, Jensen is the first to leave the classroom, heading for the cafeteria or the grounds to bury his head in his reading. Never hanging out with anyone at lunch, Jensen is always on his own and after school, he's riding home on his rattly bike at once, not glancing back. His clothes are worn, tattered and out of fashion, and if asked, Jared would describe his classmate as socially awkward.

Surprisingly, Jensen isn't bullied. At least, not really. Of course, like every High School, Castleberry High has its share of jerks who think they own the world but even they don't pick on Jensen day in, day out. There are snarky remarks once in a while, most of all about Jensen's clothes or his private situation, but mostly, people seem to leave the kid alone, not really caring for him.

***

"I feel sorry for him," Jared admits one day in late autumn, a few days before Halloween, turning his head towards Jensen. Once more, he is sitting alone in the furthest remote corner of the cafeteria, head buried into some book.

"Come on Jay," Chad slurs, his words almost incomprehensible because its still full with a chunk of meat from the goulash the cafeteria served today. "Don't play the good Samaritan here. The guy's fine. Doesn't want it any different." He shakes his head, picking one of the potatoes that came with the meat.

"How do you know?" Jared asks. "Have you ever actually talked to him?"

"Me? Talked to weirdo-Jenny?" He guffaws at the nickname. "Nah. Why should I? He's a nerd." Chad moves his hand in a gesture that shows that the imagination alone of him talking to Jensen is quite crazy.

Now it's Jared's turn to shake his head. He really likes Chad but can't understand how people can be so intolerant and prejudiced. "He might be nice."

"Nice is shit's little brother." Chad acknowledges, flashing Jared a sassy grin before shoveling another chunk of beef into his mouth and looking appalled at the mere idea that a nerd like Jensen might be worth talking to and spending time with.

Jared can't resist a chuckle at the comment but he doesn't give up that fast, sure that people do Jensen injustice here. "I'm just... I don't know. I just don't think it's right, him being all alone and -"

"Listen Jay." Chad swallows, flooding his mouth with a mouthful of coke. "I like you, you're a cool guy and already very popular. With everyone." He grins, wriggling his brow as he points at Sandy without attracting her attention. "Don't throw that away by meddling with the wrong guys. Like Jensen." He pierces Jared with a very intense stare, suddenly looking very serious.

"But -" Jared wants to argue, but Chad doesn't let him, cutting him off with a movement of his hand.

"Believe me, Jay. Maybe there's a reason why Jensen is a nerd. In all possible meanings of the word. There's been strange rumors about his family." The words are only whispered, hanging between the two teenagers and quicken Jared's curiosity.

"What the fuck does that mean?!" Jared demands to know, his voice so loud that he attracts the attention of the guys on the tables around them, several students looking at him and Chad curiously.

"Psst," Chad scolds his friend. "Won't say anything else. Trust me, you wouldn't want to know. Just let Ackles be." Chad forks another piece of potato. "And now, let me eat, Padalecki. No one comes between Chad and his food."

***

Jared doesn’t really care much about his reputation and even if he did, a chat with Jensen Ackles certainly might not harm it anyways. But Jared notices soon that it isn’t easy to get a hold of his classmate, especially when Chad hovers over him like a mother hen, preventing just that, as if he knew that Jared hasn’t given up on luring Jensen out of his hole.

It’s two weeks after Halloween when Jared finally sniffs his chance. Chad has caught the flu and their Biology teacher Mrs. Miller had to break off her lesson after twenty minutes, nose and throat too clogged to speak properly. The students are dismissed into an early lunch break and Jared follows Jensen - without the other boy noticing it at all - into the library.

The library seems empty, with only the librarian sitting in her small office, and Jared wanders down the aisles, picking up several books about Tudor England before he moves over to the set of squashy armchairs around low tables.

Jensen has nestled down into one of the armchairs, engrossed in a book about Oscar Wilde.

"Sorry, mind if I join you?" Jared asks while he is sitting down on the armchair opposite Jensen’s, only receiving a shrug in return. The guy really isn’t the chattiest person. "I think," Jared starts, looking at Jensen’s dark blonde tuft, "we haven’t really talked yet. I’m Jared," he introduces himself, reaching out his hand.

Only now does Jensen look up, goggling at the offered hand in surprise, like he’s never seen something like that before. Quite tentatively, he takes it but lets go almost at once, as if the touch burned him. "Jensen," he whispers shyly, even blushing a bit.

"I know." Jared flashes a genuine smile only to receive a slightly horror-stricken look in return. "Listen, I couldn’t avoid noticing that you’re one of the best students in class and well, I’m still a bit behind with Biology because at my old school we didn’t come that far last year, so I was wondering if you might want to help me." The lie rolls off Jared’s tongueeasily. He doesn’t need help in Biology, his test results were more than fine, but Jensen doesn’t have to know that. Learning sort of seems Jensen’s passion and Jared is sure, if he wants to approach him, it’s best to do it that way, and not talk about sports, girls, music or other entertainment.

Shifting uncomfortably in his armchair and turning redder with every passing second, Jensen’s look is full of insecurity and embarrassment. "I’m not...," he stutters, blushing even more. "I don’t know," Jensen starts again. "You might not... ummm sorry, but I got to go." Book forgotten, Jensen jumps up, hurrying from the library, leaving Jared behind dumbstruck.

That didn’t go too well.

***

Jared doesn’t try to talk to Jensen again simply because the other kid now seems kind of scared of him. Whenever their eyes meet - which doesn’t happen too often anyways - Jensen seems to wince at the eye-contact, blushing, head jerking in the opposite direction.

A part of Jared wonders what the fuck he did wrong and wants to do it right, but the biggest part of him is very disappointed. He only had the best intentions in mind, was willing to meet Jensen without any prejudices and if the guy doesn’t want that - well, it’s Jensen’s loss.

So, Jared decides to do what all the others do as well - ignore Jensen.

It’s not that he joins Tom’s and Mike’s mocking actively, but why should he care when Jensen brushed his well meant attempts of getting to know him away so carelessly? And if he snots out loud at jokes about Jensen’s old-fashioned clothes or his gait, bow-legged and awkwardly bent under the weight of countless books, he doesn’t feel too bad about it. He is just a sixteen-year-old boy after all.

***

Castleberry High is famous for its Christmas dance. Each year, it’s the event of the winter semester, almost as popular as prom night. Everyone is dressing up, driving to the city hall in limos or other expensive cars and there’s a steady fight between the guys about who’s going out with the coolest and prettiest girls.

"You should ask out Sandy," Chad whispers as they’re heading towards yet another Literature class. "She’s hot for you," his friend adds after he has only received a shrug in return.

"Don’t know man," Jared answers. "I think she is too good for me."

Chadlaughs out loud because that might even be true. Sandy is an angel, is even nice to Jensen and all the other weirdos and nerds at school, offering help without drawing too much attention to it. "You should take her," Chad whispers. "Before all the good girls are gone. You wouldn’t want to go with Angela or Lizzie".

Jared snorts. "God beware!"

"Hey Ackles!" Misha calls mockingly as Jared and Chad enter the classroom. "Who are you going to the ball with?"

As always, Jensen just ignores the teasing, but other than normal, Misha doesn’t let go. "Sure you don’t answer. Because no girl in their right mind would go out with a stinking nerd like you." He moves to Jensen’s desk, shoving him hard, Jensen almost sliding off his chair. "Not even the ugliest, fattest girl in school... But I bet," he sneers, "even they would look like princesses next to you, wearing those ugly, tattered, stinking rags."

Grinning viciously, Misha knocks his fist into Jensen’s shoulder, so hard that the bullied boy takes in a sharp breath. "Look at him," Misha laughs maliciously, "the baby boy is hurting. You’re such a pussy, Ackles. Mmm." Misha scratches his head, as if he is thinking about something. "Maybe," he now speaks to the class, all eyes on him, "our Jenny here doesn’t have a date because our Jenny is a fucking fag?!"

Almost everyone is laughing andwhooping so loud that luckily no one is aware of the sharp breath of shock Jared takes in. He always reacts like that when he hears about gay guys being bullied - simply because it could happen to him, too. No one knows or suspects that Jared is into boys and for the time being, at least as long as he’s in High School, he prefers it that way. Misha’s mean words are the last in a line of many proofs that he really doesn’t need to come out any time soon. But that doesn’t mean that Jared can accept and ignore such bullying.

"Leave him alone, Misha!" Jared calls, loud enough for everyone to hear, loud enough for everyone, including Jensen, to turn around and face him. He might shake inwardly, but he stays cool on the outside, facing his classmate with an unreadable poker face.

"Ha, you defend him, Padalecki?" Misha spits out. "Are you maybe his date? But don’t expect him to show up in a limo. More with a rusty old tandem." He snickers nastily while looking very smug, loving his own comments.

Jared puts on a too friendly smile. "Misha... I’d rather go to the ball with Jensen on an old rusty tandem than with a jerk like you in your new Jaguar."

Chris and Steve, who hate Misha with a passion, applaud and even Tom and Mike throw him an appreciative look, grinning broadly as they see Misha’s outraged face.

"You filthy little scumbag!" Misha presses out in anger and everyone is laughing even more because Jared is a good deal taller than Misha, already towering above everyone else in class, even most of their teachers. "Tell me, Padalecki. Who is your date for the ball? Or are you too unpopular to have one?"

Even before Jared can come up with some excuse, Sandy pipes up. "Jared is going with me."

"What??!!" Misha yells furiously. "You turned me down? For that geeky, goofy kid?"

Sandy smiles kindly. "Yeah well. He has style. Which I can’t say about you."

If glances could kill, Jared would drop dead right now as Misha throws his coldest, sharpest look at him.

Jared though just bows, receiving a round of applause from everyone, including shy Jensen, and when their eyes meet sometime in the middle of the lesson Jared doesn’t imagine the little, private smile and the mouthed "thank you" he receives. It warms Jared in an unknown way.

***

Christmas vacation comes, bringing cold temperatures, storms and rain that feels like pins and needles on your skin. It’s one of these days when Jared crawls down the road in his brand-new Audi, the streets just too slippery to go faster than ten mph. It’s only afternoon but his surroundings are a mass of gray, thick dark clouds towering above him. The street is empty but for one lone biker, struggling against the heavy squalls. He looks slightly familiar from behind and the closer Jared gets the surer he is that the cyclist is Jensen, the basket attached at the back of the bike filled with groceries.

It happens very quickly. Jared is just pondering whether he should offer Jensen a ride when a dog suddenly chases over the street, crossing Jensen’s path so narrowly that he has to brake to avoid a collision. Slipping on the icy ground, he loses control over his bike, falling off with a curse loud enough that Jared can hear it. Shoppings rolling over the asphalt, Jensen is buried beneath his bike, and struggling to get free.

Jared rolls his car into a halt and hurries over to his classmate as fast as he can, the slippery ground really difficult to walk on. Sliding, he stops next to Jensen, lifting the bike off him.

"Jensen? You okay?" It’s a stupid question because Jensen does look far from okay, with his hands scratched, his face bloody and his eyes dazed.

Wordlessly, Jared reaches out a hand to help him up. Jensen looks at it with surprise but after an encouraging nod from Jared, he lets himself pull up carefully. He sways so hard that Jared has to grab both of his shoulders to keep him steady.

For a moment, their eyes meet. Jensen’s green is confused and filled with moisture he grimly tries to blink away. Jared doesn’t blame him though. His jeans are torn at the knees, showing a bloody mess that must hurt like hell and the whole scenario must be sort of humiliating for Jensen.

"Want me to call 911?"

Jensen shakes his head vigorously, only to stagger even harder, the harsh movement probably not a good idea after his fall. "No insurance," he admits, blushing deeper than Jared has ever seen before.

"Em, okay," Jared comments, not sure what else he could say about it. "But then, let me at least give you a lift home, okay? These wounds should get cleaned and dressed as soon as possible."

"No," Jensen objects. "I’m fine. Can ride home."

"Come on! You are in no state to ride home, you might have a concussion, Jensen. And I fear that your bike," Jared points towards the crooked frame, "has seen the best of his days."

"Shit," Jensen stammers, one tear finally dropping from those confused but still very pretty green eyes.

"Hey." Jared pats Jensen's shoulder. "It's okay. Nothing happened. Here." Jared squats down, picking up the apples and potatoes that rolled around the street, putting them back into the grocery bag.

Having done that, Jared carefully leads Jensen to his car, opens the passenger seat door and pushes his classmate gently into the seat. Two minutes later, the groceries and the ruined bike are loaded into the trunk and Jared hurries back into the relative warmth of his car, the wind outside getting rougher every minute. "Okay, where do we go?"

"Just follow the road for about two miles," Jensen presses out between thin lips, not looking at Jared.

The atmosphere in the car is awkward, Jensen having fixed his eyes on his bloody hands, Jared unsure what he could say to make it better. In the end, he switches on the radio, the music easing the awkwardness a little, at least for him.

Three times, Jensen tells him to turn until, in the end, Jared drives through a street on the outskirts of Oak River he has never been to before. Most houses are run down and shabby, many probably even abandoned, with overgrown gardens and broken, withered fences.

"Stop here," Jensen announces when they’re almost at the end of the street. The front yard of the house in question isn’t overgrown but relatively well-cared, with a huge apple tree in it, but apart from that, it looks as shabby as the other shacks, its paint crumbling, two windows broken and only a dim light illuminating one of the rooms on the first floor. There’s not even smoke rising from the chimney and Jared doesn’t want to imagine how cold it must be in there.

There’s something Jared wants to say, but whatever comes to his mind would be an insult, no matter how well meant it might be; so Jared decides to ignore the state of the building. "Need help?" he offers instead.

"Nah. I shouldn’t... You wouldn’t... I’ll manage," Jensen stammers, showing his patented insecurity again. He gets out of the car, Jared following him and helping Jensen with lifting the bike out of the trunk.

"Sure you’re fine?" Jared asks concernedly. Jensen might not be a friend, but nevertheless, he feels sorry for him. Not only because of the accident, but mainly because of the circumstance that brought Jared here and that lets him see the surrounding Jensen is growing up in; poverty such as Jared has never seen before.

"Yeah, thank you," Jensen says, leaning the bike against the skew fence. "I mean it, Jared. Thank you." He picks up his groceries and, holding up his head as high as possible, ignoring the pain in his hands and knees, he limps down the graveled path towards the house, not glancing back.

Driving back home in his brand new car, Jared feels more ashamed of being wealthy than ever before. He knows that it is neither his fault that he is, nor Jensen’s that he isn’t, but for the first time in forever, his wealth leaves a shallow taste in his mouth.

Jared only feels better when he vows to help Jensen as best as he can once he’s back at school.

***

"Another move?" Megan asks as if she hadn’t really understood her parents, even though the news was clear enough.

"I’m sorry, hon," Sherri answers. "The offer your dad got is just too good to be turned down. Such an important project. Much better paid than the one here. And it’s in New York. We will be so much closer to your brother."

Pouting, Megan crosses her arms in front of her chest, barely able to hold back her tears. "But... but... we’ve only been here for a few months and... I found friends here. Jay!" Megan calls, looking pleadingly at her older brother, "help me here."

An apologetic look on his face, Jared shrugs. It’s not that he doesn’t care because he does. He loves living in Oak River, having found great friends, but some things in life are just unchangeable. "I know it seems unfair, sweets, but believe me when I tell you that you’ll make new friends in New York, too," he promises his baby sister, hugging her tightly.

"Okay, then that’s settled," Gerri decides, even though there was nothing to be decided in the first place because it’s not that the kids really get a choice here. "School starts there in one week. You’ll be flying up to New York in two days."

Only when Jared is lying in his bed does he realize that he will probably see none of his new - soon ex - classmates ever again, apart from Chad. What really hits him though is that his resolution to help Jensen this way or the other came too late. There's nothing he can do for him now.

2005

Oak River still looks like seven years ago, Jared notices as he drives his rental through High Street. The same houses, stores, diners and bars. Nothing has really changed, as if time has been standing still since his family moved to New York where they finally settled down. Coming back to Oak River is pure coincidence. After having finished college, Jared is looking for a job in business administration and his dad still has a few connections to his old company. Jared has always preferred to get his jobs on his own, thanks to his skills, not to his name, but he'd be stupid to turn down the offer because of a false sense of pride. It is lucrative, especially for someone with only mundane experience and Jared is eager to take his chance and prove that he is more than his father's name.

Although Jared has only spent a couple of months in Oak River when he was barely sixteen, he remembers the place fondly. Hanging out with Chad, playing basketball with Tom and Mike, going to the diner in the evenings where they met up with Sandy, Danneel, Chris and Steve. He wouldn't mind living here, maybe even seeing some of his old classmates again, even though he doubts they remember him as fondly as Jared does. After all, it was him who left in a cloak and dagger operation, only having had the chance to say goodbye to Chad, not to anyone else. He has never blamed any of them for not staying in touch and ignoring the e-mails Jared sent out once he had settled in New York.

Glancing at his watch, Jared slides his car into a halt on a parking lot in the town center. He still has almost three hours to kill - enough to check into the hotel room he booked and to grab a bite. The former is done within mere minutes, but food, that's something different. Having a variety of possibilities to go for lunch, Jared doesn't hesitate to choose the diner.

The scent of fries and burgers lingers as heavily in the air as then, the same old country songs from the jukebox are a steady sound in the background and the red leather booths are still as worn as they used to be; nothing has changed. As Jared is heading to one of the empty booths, his eyes slide over the other patrons, curious whether anyone looks familiar to him. No one seems interested in the tall stranger, but for one man, quickly looking up; jade green eyes in a freckled face gliding down his body before he looks down again.

Somehow, these eyes trigger a memory, but Jared can't put a name to it, and is not even sure if the memory is related to Oak River at all. He wants to look at the guy more closely, but he only sees his back, muscles clearly defined beneath the worn gray tee he wears.

Ten minutes later, after Jared has ordered the special burger with fries, he watches the young man leave. Again, Jared doesn't see more than his backside, but that's enough to let his dick twitch in interest because, hello, this guy is a handsome species of a man. Tall and muscled, with light brown hair, freckles and startling green eyes. Jared sees him heading towards the library and even the way he walks, a little bent with prominent bowed legs, reminds him of someone he used to know.

While he enjoys his burger, Jared can't stop thinking about the man and, as he still has almost two hours left, he decides to follow the stranger into the library. Chances are that he's still in there and even if not, spending his time in a library isn't the worst of ideas Jared has ever had.

The library is cool, smelling of dust and old books. It's not that Jared wants to stalk the familiar stranger, so he heads towards the squashy sofas to read some paper or magazine. Once in a while, Jared looks up though, his eyes gliding over the rows of books and the aisles in between. That's when he sees him again, exiting the office behind the counter, carrying a handful of books over to the children book section, his eyes fixed at the cover of the book on the top and not on his goal.

Suddenly, there are memories in Jared's mind, clear like it was only yesterday. A quiet boy, without any friends, who just didn't fit in. Head buried into a book, maybe to learn, probably to flee reality, riding to school on his old, rusty bike. Being called a nerd, being teased.

Before Jared has even returned from the road down memory lane, he is halfway across the room, heading towards the young man who's now arranging the books back to the shelves.

"Hey," Jared calls as soon as he is within earshot. "Sorry but um, are you Jensen?"

The man looks up, looking appraisingly over Jared, unsure what to think about the question. "Umm, yeah. Can I help you?"

"No," Jared starts, but then he sees the confusion in Jensen's face and starts again. "Um, I mean, sure. You probably don't remember me, but we went to High School together." Jared isn't surprised when the other man's face darkens at the mention of school. "Tenth grade I think. I'm Jared."

Brows furrowed, he slowly sees the memory dawning on Jensen's face. "Yeah. I think I remember you. You left after Christmas, but I never knew why, no one told me."

Jared isn't surprised. He hasn't really expected Chad to tell everyone, least of all Jensen, because they hadn't been friends. "My dad got a job in New York."

Nodding in acknowledgment, Jensen asks, "So, what brings you back to Oak River?"

"Job interview. In like," Jared throws a glance at his watch, "one hour and a bit. Shouldn't take too long. Umm, do you want to catch up afterward? I know we weren't really friends, but -”

"You were nice," Jensen throws in, blushing a bit. "Nicer than most of them. So um, yeah, sounds good. I'd love to catch up." He smiles shyly, as if he can't believe that someone who is as cool as Jared wants to talk to a quiet nerdy librarian like him.

"Awesome." Jared beams and he really means it. In the weeks after he had left Oak River, he sometimes found himself thinking of Jensen, wondering how he was holding up at school.

"My day ends at five. So um, maybe a couple of minutes later in the diner? Or somewhere else?"

Flashing Jensen one of his thousand-watt smiles, Jared nods happily. “Sure. So, I need to go now, I don't want to be late for my interview. See you then!”

"See you Jared.” Jensen lifts his hand sort of awkwardly in a half-wave. “Bye".

Jared is almost out of the library when Jensen calls, "Good luck! You know, for the interview."

Jared turns around, waves once and really has a good feeling that the job interview will go just fine.

***

It's a couple of minutes after 5 pm when Jared enters the diner, the interview having taken longer than expected, which Jared sees as a good sign. He lets his eyes wander over the filled booths and spots Jensen's spiked hair in one of the more remote corners. The closer Jared gets the clearer it is that his old classmate is nervous. Jensen's eyes are fixed on the sparkling surface of his coke and his feet are tapping against the dark gray linoleum floor. It looks like Jensen hasn't changed much in all those years.

"Hey," Jared says as he slides onto the bench opposite of Jensen, flashing him a broad smile.

Looking up with eyes wide open and a shy little smile, Jensen replies quietly, "Hi Jared."

God, has Jensen's voice always been so quiet? Jared really can't remember it, but it's clear, the boy is still as shy and socially awkward as ever and like years ago, Jared can't help but feel sorry for him. Jensen seems nice enough, but he is blushing like an inexperienced thirteen-year-old girl, not the twenty-three-year-old attractive man he is. Jared is sure, Jensen isn't even aware of how outrageously good-looking he is.

Sure enough, when Mandy, the young, blonde and beautiful waitress, comes over to take their order and calls Jensen "sweetie", he looks like he'd rather be swallowed by a deep dark hole than listening to her flirting.

"She likes you," Jared points out once Mandy left with their orders.

"Oh no. I don't think so. She's just kind to everyone."

"Jensen, believe me when I tell you. There is nice - and there is nice. And that girl there," Jared points over to Mandy who is handing their order across the counter, "is really nice to you. You should ask her out." Jared smiles encouragingly. He knows he might overstep a line, not knowing Jensen enough to advise him on dating, but he means well and he hopes Jensen realizes that.

Blushing deeply, Jensen shakes his head vigorously. "No. She's nice but emm, she isn't exactly, umm, my type, I think."

"She is hot!" It's not that Jared has ever dated a girl but he is not blind. He sees when a girl is pretty and attractive and Mandy is the type of girl most guys would dream about.

"I um...." Jensen's cheeks turned into a very dark crimson. "I don't know.” He shrugs, obviously feeling very uncomfortable in his skin. “How was the interview, Jared?" 

Jared shakes his head in a gesture of mocking disbelief, yet does accept Jensen's blunt attempt to change the subject. It really isn't his business who Jensen dates or not. "Fine I guess. They want to give me a call in the next few days but I have quite a good feeling. I think I might get the job.”

"I hope you will." Jensen sounds very sincere as he says this, his voice clearer than before. 

Something in Jared’s belly tumbles and warmth spreads through his body. "Thanks Jensen." He flashes his patented thousand-watt smile at Jensen. "I'd love to work here. I always had fond memories of Oak River."

Jensen huffs, as if he can't really share that opinion. Once more Jared can't help and wonder how life has been treating Jensen in the past seven years. He hopes he gets the chance to find out. "So Jensen, tell me about yourself,” he prompts, taking a sip of his ice-cold beer Wendy has brought with the salad Jared has ordered for starters. 

It's hard work but three hours, several beers, cokes, coffees and countless questions later, Jared learned enough about his old classmates to realize that Jensen had everything but an easy life in the past years. Jensen didn't blurt it out, but hints here and there made it clear that the remaining years at Castleberry High weren't exactly a ponyride, that Misha kept bullying him and that only Sandy and Danneel tried to help. Jensen didn't mention it either, but the fact that he is working part time to fund his studies at the closest community college is proof enough that money is still more than short at the Ackles' household. With lips only opened a slit, he also pressed out that his mother died three years ago and that ever since he has been caring for his baby sister who is still a minor. 

Jared feels strangely guilty when he summarizes his own past. Only as he mentions his years at Harvard University, the work experiences he did and the vacations he has been on, Jared does realize how lucky he actually is. Thanks to his dad's well-paid job and his connections, he never had to worry about a thing, money and career-wise.

When Jared brings up his last boyfriend, Jacob, he sees Jensen's eyes widen in surprise, nervously playing with his lower lip, a reaction that is hard to read. "You don't mind, do you?" Jared isn't sure why he even asks. It's not that Jensen is his new best buddy and besides, he has never cared about people who don’t agree with his sexuality. Yet, on the other hand, Jared likes Jensen and if he gets the job, it'd be just cool to have a friend here.

"What?" Jensen asks, as if Jared has just pulled him out of the deepest thoughts and maybe he has.

"Me? Being gay?"

Jensen blushes with embarrassment. "No." He shakes his head with tiny movements. "Of course not. I ummm... I think,” he stutters, blushing even more adoringly while playing nervously with the cutlery. 

Smiling kindly, Jared encourages him with a gesture to talk, not that Jensen really has to. Remembering the incident at school when Misha had called Jensen a fag and the little incident with Mandy just hours ago, Jared wouldn't be surprised if Jensen were as gay as him.

"I umm... think I might-," Jensen stammers. Jared wonders if Jensen has ever met another gay man before, if he has ever even talked about being gay and has ever faced the fact that he is a little different than what most people think is the norm when it comes to sexual preferences. Jared remembers his own confusion when he found out, the repeated freak-outs and self doubts. Coming out to his parents, just a few months after they had moved to New York, had been one of the hardest things Jared had to do in his life so far. Even now, seven years and several boyfriends later, Jared is tremendously grateful that his parents accepted him and his different way of life without reproach or prejudices. Just like they welcome Megan's boyfriends, they have always welcomed Jared's partners with open arms and the hug his mom had given Jared after his confession had been the tightest and longest he has ever received.

"Hey." Jared reaches out, touching Jensen's arm softly. "It's okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. You think you might be gay, too?" Jared asks in a whisper, knowing that this is not the perfect place for secrets like that.

Swallowing once, Jensen nods, yet not daring to look at Jared. "Yeah, I think I might. I've never -" He bites his lips, burying his head in his hands. Jared can't blame Jensen, no one likes to admit that he is still a virgin at the age of twenty-three. "I don't feel attracted to women. Sandy and Danneel for example? I'm sure they are gorgeous but I never, you know, wanted to um, touch them.” He peeks through a gap between his fingers that still hide his face, his body tense, as if he is waiting for Jared to mock him, like so many people have mocked him in the past. Yet, when nothing happens, when he just feels Jared's warm eyes on him, he finally lowers his hands, daring to look at Jared, seeing nothing but understanding in his eyes. "Remember Tom?" 

Jared nods. Of course he remembers Tom, he and his friend Mike always made sure that they always had something to laugh at school.

"He was... ummm... hot,” Jensen admits, the heat burning in his cheeks.

Jared laughs out loud. Tom was a hot guy, though not completely his type. "Yep, Jensen. "Definitely gay,” Jared declares, squeezing Jensen's wrist fondly. “You know, it's not the end of the world."

"Doesn't matter much anyways.” Jensen shrugs and there is a hint of bitterness in his words. "No one would date me here. I'm still the nerd I've always been. The village weirdo." Jensen looks out of the window, avoiding looking at Jared. Maybe he doesn't want Jared to see the sadness in his emerald eyes, or maybe he can't bear to see the pity he is sure is written all over Jared's features.

"Hey, listen to me, Jensen,” Jared says quietly. “I don't know you well enough, but you're a good guy, I know you are. And I'm sure, people would love dating you. You probably don't see it yourself because you're self-conscious, full of doubts and insecurities, but you are a very handsome guy. One day, you will make someone very happy.” 

Swallowing hard, Jensen fights for his composure, but it doesn't do much good and before he can wipe it away, a lonely tear slips down his cheek. Jared has never cried much himself, but if he were in Jensen's place, he probably would cry too once in a while. His life is lonely and hard, full of responsibility, every day a struggle and fight. 

"Hey, it's okay." Jared reaches out to touch Jensen's hand. It's ice cold. "Let's get out of here, okay? Some fresh air will do you good." He throws a couple of bills on the table, enough to cover both their meals, drinks and a generous tip for Mandy and leads Jensen out of the diner. If people are looking at them curiously, at the tall stranger and the quiet librarian, who has tears in his eyes, nobody asks what's going on.

Twilight, a cool breeze and quietness surround Jared and Jensen as they step into the night, a welcome change after the noise and warmth inside. Wrapping his arm around Jensen's shoulder, feeling strong muscles under his fingertips, Jared leads Jensen towards the little park behind the town hall. It's surprisingly empty. Maybe something has changed in seven years after all, with the park no longer a meeting point for kids.

Gently, Jared pushes Jensen onto one of the wooden benches, sitting down next to him. There's no need to say anything, it's just about the peace and quiet, about sharing the comfortable silence and about bearing Jensen silent company.

"It sucks," Jensen admits with a bitter voice, "not having friends. I know it's partly my own fault, but -.” Biting his lips, he sighs, his head bent and his shoulders slumped.

Jared remembers his one, halfhearted attempt to get to know Jensen. Back then in the library, Jensen almost seemed freaked out by talking to Jared. But if you are mocked and bullied, if people call you names, you draw back into a shell, nice and cozy where no one can hurt you, while getting more and more scared, not believing that people can be good. "It's a vicious circle," Jared offers, "so yeah, it might be partly your own fault, but I don't blame you, Jensen. It wasn't easy for you."

"It wasn't. Still isn't. My reputation.” Jensen sighs, scrubbing his neck in a self-conscious gesture. “People still know me as the nerd, still badmouth about -." He bites his lips, as if he has already said too much. Buried in a corner of his mind Jared remembers Chad, his gossip about rumors surrounding Jensen, about no one wanting to be seen with him.

"About what?" Jared dares to ask, hoping that Jensen will confide in him. 

"Rumors." Jensen shrugs. "About um... my dad. You must have heard them."

"Nah." Jared shakes his head. "Chad mentioned something, but he never told me what it was about."

Looking pensively into the growing darkness, it seems like Jensen didn't even listen to Jared.

"You don't have to tell me," Jared adds after a few moments of silence. "I don't care. The thing with rumors is, normally, there is not much truth behind them anyways, only bits and pieces. And whatever your dad did... You're not your dad, Jensen. You're well, you.."

Jensen huffs dryly, moistening his lips before he explains, "Dad didn’t do anything. He had a stroke when I was eight. He was much older than my mom and Mom, she never was like other people, never complained. Know all these women who whine about this and that, the tiniest scratch?" 

Jared nods because sure, he knows enough people like that; his aunt, even his own mom, up to a certain degree. 

"Mine was never like that. So, my dad was released from hospital, with almost his whole body paralyzed, a mess and she never bothered to tell anyone. But soon, people were wondering about my dad and they started to talk, that he cheated on her and left. Some even said that my mom had killed him... Crazy stories." Jensen laughs but there isn't a hint of humor in it, just annoyance. "Soon the savings were gone. It was Dad who went to work, not Mom. So Mom took care of my dad, who was a nursing case, and she worked all different kinds of jobs, you know, cleaning, graveyard shifts in the 24/7 or petrol station, so that me and Josh could care for Dad, if needed. Money was always short. But somehow, we managed.” 

Jensen pauses, moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue and blinking rapidly, as if he could avoid the tears shining in his eyes from falling. “Dad only died the year after I finished high school. And Mom followed him less than a year later.” Jensen's voice is shaking with emotions as he says this and he wipes a tear from the corner of his eye before he continues, “The last years were a little easier. Josh sent money once in a while and I worked part time at the library as soon as I was done with high school but it was not enough to save Mom. She burned out. It was too much for her and her heart gave in. She wasn't even sixty."

Lost for words, Jared doesn't know what to say. No one had known, no one had cared, just because the whole family had been too proud to tell and to ask for help. They could have made it easier for Jensen and his mom, but no one had bothered to seek the truth behind the ridiculous rumors.

Tentatively, Jared reaches out, placing his hand on Jensen's slightly shuddering shoulders; he's crying silent tears. "I'm sorry for your loss, Jensen. That you had to go through this. I know that it's probably too late, but if there's anything I can do - "

"I don't need your pity," Jensen spits out, his face a mask of bitterness and anger.

Jared jerks back, but today he won't accept a refusal. "It isn't pity, Jensen. That's what friends do for each other."

"Friends?" Jensen stares at Jared with disbelief. "Why would you want me as your friend? You probably have more friends than I have money on my account."

Jared can't repress a chuckle because that even might be true. Jared has a lot of friends and even more acquaintances, but he also knows that true friendship is hard to find. "I like you," Jared admits bluntly, looking at Jensen openly. "You are not like the others. Not as superficial as most people I know. And you might not know it yet, but having friends is great. So just take the chance." 

Holding out his hand, Jared waits, his heart weirdly beating against his chest. Finally, Jensen reaches out, hesitatingly taking the offered hand. Squeezing hard, Jared doesn't let go for a while. "Besides," Jared admits nonchalantly, "you're hot, Jensen.”

Choking on his own breath, Jensen coughs hard, looking horror-stricken. "You didn't just say that!".

"Sure I did!" Jared lips part into a broad, quite sassy smile. "It's the simple truth. Plus I think you should know that I wouldn't mind if our friendship eventually develops into something else, something more."

Meanwhile, it's pitch dark and the dim lantern nearby isn't bright enough to illuminate any of Jensen's features, but Jared would bet all his money that he is as red as a crab. "I umm... okay,” Jensen agrees quietly

"Yeah?”

"Yeah. Friends and maybe, one day, something else." He smiles, scooting a little closer to Jared, who takes the change and loops his arm around Jensen. "But what happens if you don't stay? If you don't get the job?"

"I'm positive I got it.” Quickly, he lets the interview run through his mind again. It had been a good conversation and despite his lack of experience, his top marks and the answers he had been able to give were proof enough of his expertise. “And even if not, I could apply for something else nearby."

"You would?" Jensen doesn't believe what he just heard. "Stay here? Just for a friend?"

Jared shrugs. "Yeah. Why not? Honestly I'm a bit sick of New York. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool place but people are so shallow there. And-” Now it's Jared whose cheeks are turning a darker shade of pink. When did he turn into a sixteen-year-old girl? But he has never really felt this way before, drawn to someone, the urge to be a part of their life so strong. "I think you are worth it. Being your friend. Giving a try to bond and maybe be more one day."

"Oh," Jensen stammers, "I um -"

Laughing, Jared squeezes Jensen’s shoulder. "No need to say anything, we just wait and see. No pressure, okay? We let nature take its course.” He rubs Jensen's shoulder gently, leaning in briefly before he lets go. 

For a while, they chat about other things, random stuff, the atmosphere between them lighter, almost playful. Now that Jensen finally relaxes, Jared can see what he has always known. Jensen is a good guy, unbelievably smart, kind, even funny. Good to hang out with.

Eventually Jared glances at his watch, noticing that it’s getting really late. "What do you say if we call it a day? I hate to, but I have an early plane to catch tomorrow." He frowns at the thought of his 7.15 am flight from Dallas, which is a two-hour drive away from Oak River.

There's a hint of disappointment in Jensen's features but he nods in agreement, getting up and leading the way back to Main Street.

"Need a ride?" Jared asks when they are back at the square.

"No, thank you. My faithful ride," Jensen points towards an oldish bike, "is waiting for me."

"Okay. So, em, let me give you my contact details, okay?"

Jensen nods, pulling a huge, antique cell out of his pocket. They exchange numbers, addresses and e-mails and Jared promises to call Jensen soon. Then it's time to go.

Jared sweeps Jensen into his arms, crushing him hard against his chest. It feels unbelievably good, feeling Jensen so close, pressed against him from head to toe. He fits so well, like Jensen was made for him. He smells so fine, of books and dust, of soap, aftershave and detergent. Just Jensen. His heart somersaults as he holds Jensen close and for much longer than it is common between two guys who just became friends.

"Take care," Jared whispers, his lips ghosting over Jensen's earlobe, pressing a tiny kiss against his temple. "Promise to see me soon."

Jensen smiles against the curve of Jared's neck, feeling all warm and fuzzy because of the tight hug which he returns with all his might. "Promise."

***

Two weeks pass. Fourteen days filled with daily calls to Jensen, sometimes just for a couple of minutes, sometimes for much longer, making plans for when Jared starts his new life in Oak River. Jared had been right; not even an hour after he had landed in New York, he got the call he had been waiting for and ever since he has been busy organizing and packing up things. Jensen has offered him to live at his place and because Jared knows that Jensen could need the additional money, he agreed. It's a little risky, moving in with someone he still doesn't know too well, but where's the fun in life without a little risk? In his first year at Harvard he hadn't known his roommate either, and although Brian didn't exactly become his best friend forever, they got on well enough to still be in touch.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of Jared's new life, as he secretly calls it. Another milestone. The first real job, a new - old town, a new friend and maybe, a new love if things develop the way he hopes. All his bags and boxes are packed, his SUV filled to the roof. He's looking forward to it, to the road trip to Texas, driving towards his future, but most of all, to being with Jensen.

Please come home soon, Jared reads Jensen's text when he goes to sleep in his childhood bed for the last time.

He smiles. Home sounds good.

***

Three days later, Jared arrives in Oak River. He parks his SUV in front of Jensen's house, taking a deep breath, rolling his hurting shoulders and wriggling his toes, cramped and sweaty in their leather prisons.

He looks at Jensen's place - his new place. It's still the same house that Jared saw seven years ago, but nowadays it isn't derelict any longer. The front yard is a blooming paradise, the house freshly painted in a bright, cheerful yellow. There are no broken windows, no old, yellow-grayish curtains, but colorful fabric dancing behind clean glass in the light breeze that whispers through the opened windows. It all looks simple, but well taken care of. It looks like home.

Stretching and yawning, Jared finally gets out of the car, slamming the door shut, loud enough that the whole neighborhood can hear that someone has arrived. Jared though doesn't care for the neighborhood, only for someone very special. Sure enough, the yellow painted front door is pulled open, Jensen standing in it, slowly moving down the two front steps and the graveled path. Jared isn't that patient, rushing towards his friend in a couple of steps, and sweeping the smaller man into his arms, his laugh echoing through the air.

"Can't believe you're really here," Jensen gasps in Jared's bone-crunching embrace.

"You doubted me?" Jared tsks, ignoring the other man's shrug. "Doofus. Never doubt Jared. He always keeps his promises."

"Does he?" Jensen asks, grinning his insecurity away.

"Oh yeah. Especially if these promises involve beautiful, green-eyed men."

There it is again, the meanwhile so familiar blush, but it's gorgeous, makes Jared all warm and fuzzy and him wanting to court Jensen, something he has never really done before. He has always rushed into his relationships, crash boom bang, kissing, making out, fucking, often within mere hours. Jensen though, inexperienced and shy as he is, probably even scared, needs to be treated well and to be worshiped. He's special, Jared has realized that more and more with every day, with every call. If ever a man was worth being courted, it's Jensen.

He hugs Jensen even tighter, just letting the feeling of holding Jensen seep through his skin and into his bones. His personal scent - the smell of books today being overpowered by a penetrating smell of paint -, his hair against Jared's neck, his fingers tightly pressed into Jared's back. Only when he took all of Jensen in, does Jared let go with one last squeeze, letting his friend lead the way into his new home.

There's Jensen’s baby sister Mackenzie, a pretty young woman, waiting with the most delicious homemade meal Jared has ever had. There are flowers on the chest of drawers in his new bright bedroom, the IKEA furniture Jensen kindly fetched for him already assembled, the bed made, everything smelling new and fresh, everything looking like home. And there is an arm, slipping tentatively around Jared's waist, pulling him closer. It's the first gesture Jensen has ever initiated and while Jared loops his own arm around Jensen in return, he knows the future can only be bright.

"Like it?" Jensen asks.

It's not quite clear if Jensen means the house, the room or the touch, so Jared smiles, fixing his eyes on Jensen's freckled face, almost getting lost in the depth of those green eyes. "Everything. It's perfect. You worked miracles with that place."

Jensen blushes with joy at the compliment. "We only started renovating after Mom died. Just me, Mac and Josh, whenever he found time to come over from Austin and we had some spare money. It was hellish because no one had done anything there for years and - “ Jensen releases a shaky breath. “You saw it yourself, it was a shack and it was a very slow process but now it's almost done."

"Now there are two more hands to help," Jared offers as brushes his thumb over the soft worn material of Jensen's tee. "Soon our home will be the most beautiful in the whole neighborhood."

"Our home?" There is so much hope in Jensen's gaze and voice as he asks this that it tightens Jared's chest in both hope and pity.

"Sure.” Jared locks his eyes with Jensen, so that he knows it's genuine. “Our home. Don't think you can get rid of me again that soon."

***

Jared is nervous. He knows it's ridiculous, after all he's been living under Jensen's roof for three weeks now, has been hanging out with him every day after work and has been getting more and more insight into the insecure but sweet and loving person Jensen is, but he can't help it. Can't calm the dancing butterflies in his belly and the rising queasiness, just because he's going out with Jensen on their very first real date tonight.

Jensen blushed gorgeously when Jared had asked him out the other day, biting his lower lips, but nodding in the end, a sweet smile softening his often serious features. Ever since, Jared has been making plans. It's nothing special, very cliche. It's what he wants and needs to do for Jensen, because if anyone needs cliche, it's him: cinema, Italian dinner, maybe a stroll in the park or along the little stream near the town that flows into the much bigger Trinity River. Jared even bought a dark red rose - and yeah, he knows, how sappy is that - but he wanted to. Jensen loves flowers, and Jared is quite sure he is falling in love with Jensen, so it's just right to express his feelings like that. Sometimes that's better than dozens of stammered words.

Jensen looks good when he finally comes down the creaking stair. Face reddened from a shower, he smells deliciously and looks even more so, his tight tee hugging his well built body in all the right places, his hair shiny, his lips rosy and his cheeks flushed. How can one human being be so beautiful without even being aware of it?

The movie isn't anything special, some kind of comedy, but the cinema is dark and after half an hour, Jared once more turns into a sixteen-year-old girl, his hand slowly reaching out, softly brushing over Jensen's fingers before he twines them together. It's a cool, soft and comfortable presence in his own palm and after a while, Jensen returns the occasional brush and squeeze. It's such a simple touch but still, so special, a steady connection to his friend, exchanging warmth, affection running from one to the other and back again.

Like an unspoken agreement, they don't let go after the movie is over. And if some of the few other attendees look at them surprised or point at them, they both ignore it. Jensen is used to being pointed at anyways, having grown up as an outcast, and Jared just doesn't care. This here is worth a bit of hassle.

The restaurant is cozy, dimly lit, simply romantic and wonderfully fitting for a first date. It's easy between them; there's not much difference between their normal chat and banter, there's laughter and jokes. Some things though are different; there's a pleasant, expectant tension between them, glances, sweet smiles and brushing fingertips. It makes Jared all tingly, and he's slowly becoming more and more addicted to Jensen.

They end their date with a walk along Oak River, the small stream that gave the town its name. It's peaceful and quiet, the only noises are the gurgling of the water and the rustling of leaves or in the undergrowth. The waxing moon is only a thin silver sickle on the sky but bright enough to emerge their surroundings in an almost otherworldly light. The air, smelling of rotten leaves, wet soil and wood, is fresh and damp, but Jensen is a warm presence so close to him and their joined hands give additional warmth. They don't talk, there's no need to, no words to describe that they are growing closer with every step they take, that they are so close to something special and beautiful, to a love like Jared had never known it before.

Eventually, they cross a small, wooden bridge to go back to the car, the path on the other bank of the stream leading along a corn field. Jensen stops in the middle of the bridge, looking into the depths, at the barely visible swirls, at the water that is rushing over rock and dead branches.

"I used to come here often, when I was a kid," Jensen starts quietly, talking more to himself or to the water than to Jared. "When it was especially hard at school or at home. When Mom was so tired and desperate because she didn't know how to pay for our food in the next few days, I came here.” Biting his lips, Jensen pauses, his free hand tightly curled around the wooden rail. “The water always had such a calming effect on me. I could sit here for ages, seeing no one, watching the water and listening to its song. Sometimes it's only a whisper, sometimes a happy ditty, sometimes an angry growl, like when the water rises after a heavy rainfall. In summer, I always let the water wash around my feet, loved how it tickled my toes, how it cooled me down." 

Jared is not sure why Jensen is telling him these things, but with everything Jensen says, he sucks it in and saves it somewhere, ready to remember it. 

"This place here, Jared, was my safe haven. No one knew about it, no one saw me but the farmer living down there. I know it sounds unbelievably sappy, but I always had the feeling the water sang just for me. Now though... I want to share it with you."

He looks up, his dark green eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Feeling strangely touched, Jared moves closer, wrapping his arm around Jensen's shoulder. He lets go of Jensen's hand, only to place it against his cheek softly, his index gently trailing along the line of Jensen's well cut face, brushing over freshly shaved, soft skin and combing through fine hair in the end. The moon paints a streak of silver over Jensen's face and he looks so beautiful, almost enchanted. Attentively, Jared listens to the steady, calming sound of the river until he finally hears it; the water's soft tune, encasing them with a romantic melody, singing just for them, like Jensen said.

Isn't this the perfect moment to make such a special place even more special for Jensen? Jared wonders, but doesn't share his thoughts. He just does it. Slow and gentle, he draws Jensen's head towards his own, until his lips finally touch Jensen's.

He hears Jensen taking in a sharp breath and feels him getting a little stiff beneath his hand that is now tightly pressed against Jensen's neck. But Jared doesn’t let go. Softly, he presses his lips against Jensen's, feeling the slightly raw flesh and its warmth, tasting the tiniest remains of herbs and red wine. Slowly, carefully, not wanting to ask too much of him, Jared moves his lips over Jensen's, licking his tongue over them. 

A sigh escapes those lips, quiet but happy, and then they open, allowing Jared to enter. He's still so careful, almost tentative, exploring Jensen's mouth, feeling his sharp teeth against his tongue, and tasting so much that he is almost overwhelmed with impressions. There’s another soft whimper as Jensen's hands grab Jared's shirt, sliding up and down his back, his side, aimless, but warm and comfortable.

"Mmm." Jared sighs into Jensen's mouth before he lets go, just holding onto him for a while, petting the skin on his neck, feeling his heart beating against Jensen’s chest in the same rhythm.

Jensen looks enthralled as the tip of Jared’s tongue slowly licks over his lips, savoring the taste of Jared, while his hands wander down until they curl around his waist. Smiling, Jensen lets his thumb circle over the material of Jared's shirt, tickling him enough for Jared to let out an amused huff.

It's weirdly hypnotizing, the movement of Jensen's fingers, round and round and round, Jensen’s eyes now focused on Jared's. "Like it?" Jared asks, his voice deep and raspy.

"Mmmmm," Jensen breathes out, his breath warm against Jared's neck. "So special... Like a dream coming true. I'm so lucky. Having you is a wonderful gift. Thanks for making me feel so special, Jay." He swallows hard, forcing the tears down that threaten to blur his eyes.

"Shhh." Jared pulls Jensen towards his chest and cocoons him in his arms. The feeling of holding Jensen like that beats simply everything. He is warm, firm and yet pliant and fits so well into his arms as if he was made for Jared. "You deserve nothing else. Luck and happiness,” Jared whispers, holding Jensen even tighter. “Just let me give it to you. Every day."

"Every day.” Releasing a happy sigh, Jensen snuggles impossibly closer. “That sounds good."

"Very good,” Jared agrees and dimples grow as he smiles. Pressing his lips against Jensen's forehead he holds him a little longer before he lets go, only to twine their fingers together. "Now, let's go home, okay? I bet your little sister wants to know if I'm going to stay in your place a little longer."

"Like forever?" Jensen's eyes are full of hope as he asks this, looking at Jared as if he is the center of his universe and with a pang that spurs his heart into a gallop and makes him all warm and giddy, Jared realizes he already is, just like Jensen is already the center of Jared's own small universe.

"Forever sounds just long enough," Jared acknowledges, and while fireworks explode inside his belly, sending waves of heat through all his veins, he kisses his Jensen. Right here, right now, he promises silently that he will be the best boyfriend and husband he can be, that he will always be by Jensen's side, and that even if things might get rough for whatever reasons, he'll fight for Jensen and their love.

The pale moon, the sparkling stars and the whispering stream witness the beginning of their love, surrounding them with light and music and Jared knows they will always come back here to celebrate their love until their forever here on earth is over.

The End