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Vee was always the kind to hang out with the popular girls, much to Luz’s chagrin. Xe was always at the sides of those who mocked Luz for what she was, a weirdo. That’s why Vee hanged with them, in the first place, to protect xyr sister. Xe always asked xyr friends to leave her alone and that’s how it went. Sure, Luz was still on her own without friends, but at least she wasn’t bullied, Vee made sure of that. What xe hadn’t planned was falling in love. Well, not exactly falling in love, but at least having a fling.
It all started back in Gravesfield. The popular girls were made of Clara and her group of cheerleaders. Vee joined them when xe saw Luz getting bullied. Xe was very protective of Luz and got closer to the group of girls. Xe didn’t what happened next but xe ended up in the arms of Clara. How and why, it didn’t care. What mattered is xe got xyr first kiss thanks to that. It was weird. Not bad, but weird. It was nice, but weird.
And then the Nocedas moved out to California. That’s how xe met Boscha. Boscha was a girl with red hair, a smug air and some very buff body, which already flustered Vee. But xe wasn’t impressed by that, for now. Xe became friends with Boscha, just like xe befriended Clara and the cheerleaders. Like before, xe stopped the popular girls from bully Luz, and Luz’s friends as xyr sister found some people as weird as her. Vee was glad she finally had someone to be with, xe could now take care of xyr own life.
“Vee?”
The Noceda twin hummed as an answer.
“Have you seen Boscha this morning?”
Vee shook xyr head to Amity. It is true Vee was spending a lot of time with the red-head girl but xe didn’t always know where she was.
“Haven’t you?”
Amity rolled her eyes in an annoyed look.
“Would I ask if I knew the answer?”
“Send her a text?”
Amity sighed.
“Fine.”
She took out her phone and tapped on her screen. Then she waited for her phone to chime.
“She’s outside,” announced Amity.
Vee stood up, walked a few feet then turned to Amity.
“You coming?”
“What for, Boscha will be here in a few minutes.”
Vee rolled up xem eyes.
“Fine, but I’m going.”
“Whatever.”
Vee wished xe could understand why Amity looked so annoyed all the time. But right now, xe needed to find a certain girl with red hair. She said Boscha was outside, but Vee saw no-one when xe exited the building. No-one behind the gates, no-one in the park, no-one around her. Xe frowned. Would Boscha have lied to have some peace? She definitely could have.
Vee walked around the school’s outside, maybe she could find Boscha. Xe didn’t why xe had this hope. Xe wanted to see Boscha because she was always nice to xem. She was a good friend and Vee liked to spend time with her.
After ten minutes, wandering around the school, xe heard some music and humming coming from behind a bush. Curious, xe moved closer. Xe smelled the recognisable scent of smoke. Maybe they could have seen Boscha.
...or maybe it was Boscha.
“What the?!” she shouted, hiding her cigarette behind the back.
“There you are, I was looking for you.” Vee smiled.
“What are you doing here?”
Boscha's face had took the same colour as her hair.
“Nothing!”
“Smoking?”
“No, I’m not!!” she exclaimed, her blush darkening.
“Can I have one?” asked Vee, joining her, the scent of smoke becoming stronger, intoxicating xyr nose. Xe needed that cigarette now.
“Can you what?”
“Smoke, have one, please?”
“I-”
With her face full of disbelief, she handed a cigarette to the teenager who was with her in the bush. Vee took out a lighter from xyr pocket and lit it up. Xe took an inspiration and felt xem brain easing out. Xe closed xem eyes and blow some smoke to the sky.
“You too, huh?” was all that Boscha could say.
Vee nodded.
“It’s complicated,” xe admitted.
“I get it, you don’t need to talk,” reassured Boscha, as she brought her cig back to her lips.
The music came from Boscha’s phone. It was some old loud rock from the early 2010’s.
“What is it called?”
“What?”
“The music. What’s the name of the music?”
“Oh… It’s a band called Linkin Park.”
“Oh right… I know it, my sister used to edit anime videos to their songs.”
“Oh? I used to watch AMV with their songs, that’s how I discovered them.”
“It would be fun if you’ve watched some of Luz’s.”
“Yeah, like I would watch some videos of such a looser.”
Vee frowned and Boscha lowered sheepishly her head.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t talk bad about my sister.” Vee scowled in a cold tone.
“Sorry ma’am, won’t do.”
Vee bit xyr lip and took another puff of smoke. Xe tried to brush away xyr thoughts with the psychoactive drugs of the cigarette slowly clouding xyr mind. Xe knew it wasn’t good for xyr health and xe could have an addiction, which xe already had since xe was 13. But xe needed xyr brain to shut up, especially when gender was making its way in xyr brain.
“Why are you smoking?” xe asked to Boscha.
“Because I’m rebel,” she replied, forming devil horns with her free hand. Vee chuckled but xyr laughter stopped when Boscha’s face darkened. “Actually, it’s for my brain... Well at first it was for my brain but now it became a habit. I can’t... spend a day without it.” She looked at the smoke escaping from her burning cigarette. She brought it to her lips and inhaled. “And you?”
“Pretty much the same,” xe sighed, “So you’re hiding from someone?”
“Yes, you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Because you arrived like two weeks ago, and you’ve been sweet and all. And I didn’t want to look weird or anything... And you’re cool, like I said I like your attitude. You’re not afraid of popular girls, and that’s a slay.”
“A what?”
“Slay.”
“Right.”
“Anyway, you have guts, and you’re cute and all. Your vitiligo is slay too.”
“If you say so.” Xe rolled xyr eyes and brought xyr cig to xyr lips.
A silence fell on the two, only broke by the sound of the phone playing Numb .
“Do you want to kiss?” casually asked Boscha.
“What?”
“Kiss. Me and you. Smoke kiss.”
“I mean...” Vee looked around xemself and shrugged. “Why not.”
Boscha drew on her cigarette and leaned on Vee. Their lips collided in a soft kiss. Boscha’s hand ended up on Vee’s cheek and slowly slid into xyr hair. Gently, Boscha’s tongue entered Vee’s mouth and the smoke exited through xyr nose. Behind this bush, in Hexside’s park, they were two teenagers, friendly kissing. Vee took another puff of xyr cig and connected their two mouths, again. Their tongues were intertwined in that soft, sweet ballet, with only the sound of Boscha’s phone to cover the one of their kisses. It was passionate but so quiet, shy and lovely.
They softly broke it, a trickle of saliva between them.
“Wow,” whispered Boscha.
“You’re a good kisser.”
“You’re not bad yourself.” Boscha blushed and hoped it was unnoticed. “Do you want another?”
“My cig is dead,” sighed Vee as xe crushed the cigarette butt on the surrounding wall.
“It’s okay… we can just…” whispered Boscha.
As if they understood each other, they both closed the gap and kissed once more. Those weren’t lovers’ kisses; Vee knew how it felt and it wasn’t like that. It was more like… heated, passionate kisses between two friends. Boscha bit Vee’s lip and xe almost moaned; xe wanted more from xyr friend.
Xe pinned down the redhead girl on the ground, still enjoying kissing her. Xyr tongue was linked to Boscha’s as they weren’t separating anymore. Vee’s right hand grabbed Boscha’s left wrist and hold it in the grass, above her head. Slowly, xe moved xyr hand and intertwined xyr fingers with Boscha’s. Their lips were colliding from time to time when Vee wanted it. Boscha was just at xyr mercy. Xe was straddled, on Boscha’s lap, xyr legs firmly holding the girl on the ground.
They could have gone for a long time, if Boscha’s music hadn’t stopped to be replaced by a ringtone. They broke the kiss and Boscha bit her lip, her face all flustered.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Vee got up from the girl’s lap and smiled.
“It’s okay…” Xe passed xyr thumb on xyr bottom lip, the sweet taste of Boscha’s gloss slowly fading away. “It’s best if you answer your phone.”
“Right, my phone.” She picked it up and answered. “Yes?... Amity, yes… In the park. Vee? Yes, she’s with me… In the park, yes. What do you mean it’s been thirty minutes?” She looked at her phone and made a ‘oop’ face. “Yeah… well, we’re coming, see you.” She hanged up and turned to Vee. “Shall we go?”
“Yes.”
Boscha dusted her outfit and held out a hand for Vee to take.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
“What?”
“That… well those kisses were really good. Do you want to go out with me?”
Vee bit xyr lip. Xe knew it didn’t work like that. Besides xe wasn’t totally ready for that and had something to tell first, and xe was totally not ready for that.
“No… At least not yet.”
“Oh… Okay.”
“But we can still take some smoke break.”
“I would love that.” Boscha grinned as Vee took her hand.
✨✨✨
Vee didn’t talk about it to anyone, mostly because he didn’t know what to think about it. When he came home, in the evening, it was with Boscha, hand in hand, the memory of their lips sealed together still on his mind. And the question she asked him after. His breakup with Clara was still on his mind. He loved the cheerleader, or at least the memory of her was enough for Vee to not want to engage in a new relationship. Besides he knew he didn’t feel that way for Boscha. Then why did he say, ‘not yet’? Was there an ounce of doubt in his mind? He tried to not think too much about it. And Boscha didn’t know everything about him. He didn’t want to rush things with her and going out with someone who doesn’t know him. Sure, Boscha loved his lips but what about the rest? Vee wanted to make sure everything else was cool, and maybe catch more feelings.
✨✨✨
The day after, Vee asked Luz to leave the house earlier. Their excuse was to have more time with her friends. But in truth, they wanted to spend more time with Boscha. They didn’t know why but they dreamt about her all night. It wasn’t much, they were just hanging out, talking, casually kissing and smoking. But it was enough for Vee to have their mind completely occupied by one thought. Boscha was waiting for them at the gates, Luz left to join her friend and the two teenagers were alone.
“So… Wanna head in or…” started Boscha.
Vee bit their lip. In a bold move, they took Boscha’s hand and crossed the school’s gate.
✨✨✨
It had been 5 days now since Vee had discovered Boscha’s smoking habits. It had been 5 days now since Vee had kissed Boscha in a passionate making out session. It had been 5 days now since Vee and Boscha had this little ritual of finding a quiet place, to talk, listen to music and kiss a lot. It had been 4 nights now since Vee had dreamt of Boscha, and it had never stopped. It had been 4 mornings now since Vee had stopped by Hexside’s gate to lead Boscha somewhere and discover more of her. It had been 3 nights since Vee had dreamt of going out with Boscha. It had been 3 mornings since Boscha came directly to Vee’s house to pick xem up. It had been 2 nights since Vee had woken up to the thought of Boscha in xyr bed. It had been 2 mornings since Vee and Boscha had talked about getting a date someday, without necessarily be a thing. It had been 1 night since Vee had dreamt of living in a house with Boscha. It had been 1 morning since Vee discovered the reason behind Boscha’s smoking habits. And that last night was the most lustful thing xe had ever dreamt of. Xe hated xyr hormones so much… but that night xe didn’t complain about it. Except maybe in the morning, when xe saw Boscha at the door and the memories of that dream came back.
“Oh… hey Vee! How’s it going?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” xe replied, trying to push back xyr thoughts at the back of xyr mind.
“Do you want to…”
“Go to school? Yeah, exactly!” Xe turned xyr back and shouted. “Luz! We’re leaving!”
“Two minutes,” cried out back her sister.
5 minutes later they were walking on the way to Hexside.
“I don’t understand why you wanted to leave so early,” grumbled the Noceda girl, “we don’t have class until 10am.”
“Because I wanted to spend some time working.”
Luz rolled her eyes and mumbled something unintelligible. Vee knew xe wasn’t really going to work, xyr hand was squeezing Boscha’s. The redhead girl gave her a knowing look and xe bit xyr lip.
“If you don’t want to work,” added Vee, “you can still be with your friends.”
“I guess you’re right.” Luz sighed.
✨✨✨
“Boscha…” moaned Vee as the redhead girl was currently kissing xyr neck. They were both in an unused bathroom at the third floor. Their school bags were on the ground, as well as their jacket, and their hair were as messy as ever. The reason? They were here since 7:30am and had mostly kissed. Vee was against a wall, xe was feeling the cold tiles in xyr back, while the warm body of Boscha was against xyr belly. Her right hand was lost in xyr hair, while her left hand was grasping xyr waist. Vee bit xyr lip and happily sighed. Xyr lids were twitching as Boscha plant her teeth in the neck of the Noceda teen. Xe let out an exclamation which made Boscha stop.
“Sorry…”
“No… don’t stop…”
Vee watched Boscha’s face going from surprise to joy to passion. She went back on the skin of her friend. Vee closed xyr eyes, xyr hands in Boscha’s red hair. So much happened in five days, xe didn’t even know how to process it. It was like living in a dream, a dream she had never made before, not even with xyr earlier relationships. Xe loved the tenderness and passion of the redhead girl, her scent, her blue eyes, her musculature thinly drawn under her clothes. Maybe Vee had a crush, but it was definitely too soon to tell.
Boscha’s hand which was around xyr waist slowly went up Vee’s body.
“No...” xe whispered but Boscha didn’t hear xem. She was still sucking Vee’s skin on the neck. She was mastering her hickeys’ skills. Her hand was still going up. “Boscha...... Boscha!”
The redhead girl stopped and frowned at Vee.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” she asked, a worried look on her face.
“No, it’s... your hand...”
“My...?”
“Your left.” Vee sighed as xe quietly pushed away the girl.
“Sorry... You’re not ready to...”
“No that’s not... It’s just...”
“it’s okay, don’t worry, I understand!” Boscha smiled gently.
“No... No, you don’t.” Vee looked at xyr feet and took a deep breath. “I’m... How can I say it...”
“Not ready for me to touch your breast, it’s okay, I get it, I won’t.”
“No, it’s not...”
“Girl, don’t worry, I understand.”
“I’m not a girl,” xe replied dryly, the shadow of scowl on xyr face.
“Wow, okay... Right... You...”
“Not. I’m not. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.” Xe felt xemself sliding on the floor, repeating the same words over and over again. “I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.” Xe held xyr face between her hands, xyr anxiety slowly rising in xyr throat. “I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.” Xe was whispering quietly, as xe sits on the floor, xyr nails digging in xyr skull.
“Hey sugarplum, are you okay?” She went on her knees, close to Vee, but not too close to leave xem some space. “No, stupid question, you’re not... Can I help you? Or I can just stay here...”
Vee took another deep and shivery breath. “Stay... Stay here please... You... You need to know...”
“Know what? No, sorry, tell me whenever you’re ready.”
Then there was silence in the bathroom. Vee’s breathing eventually slowed down and became quieter. “Okay... Okay... I... I didn’t talk about this to anyone because... Well because I’m scared.”
“Right... And you wanna tell me because...?”
“Because I trust you.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“It’s the first time I’ve heard it from someone.”
Vee let out a nervous laugh. “Well, we’ve been kissing for a few days now...”
“Five,” she cut xem quickly. “Sorry, sorry...”
Vee giggled. “No, no it’s fine... It’s like you’ve marked down the date.”
“Actually, I did.”
“Why?”
“Who knows…” she whispered, causing another giggle from Vee.
“So… I- I… I’m…”
“Not a girl?”
“Yes, that.” Vee lowered xyr head.
“Okay… Do you have any pronouns or…”
“I… I don’t know… I haven’t thought about it.”
“But you’re not a girl.”
“Not a girl.”
“Do you like they/them?”
“It’s cool.”
“He/him?”
“It depends.”
“Right… She/her?”
“Same.”
“Okay, good! Anything else?”
“I… I don’t think so… I’ll tell you if anything changes.”
“So, you’re… gender… liquid?”
“It’s called genderfluid, silly.” Vee shook xyr head.
“Genderfluid, I knew that.”
“Of course, you do…” Xe smiled gently to Boscha and booped her nose.
She caught Vee’s hand with her own and kept it. They were sat on the cold floor of the bathroom, lost in each other eyes. Still friends, though , thought Vee. Still friends … Still friends … Still f- Boscha shut those thoughts with a simple kiss on xyr lips. It was soft, not passionate at all, with an ounce of melancholy. A tender and sweet kiss. Vee cupped Boscha’s jaw and gave her back the kiss, with more love. An indescribable feeling running through Vee’s veins. There was nothing passionate in that kiss. It was very new, but not odd. It was calm, and cherry tasted; Boscha’s gloss. It was Boscha’s gloss xe was feeling on xyr lips. Sweet Boscha. What was happening to xem, suddenly?
“So… you have other areas I can’t touch or…” eventually asked Boscha when they broke the soft kiss.
“Actually, it depends.”
“It depends on…”
“Sometimes I have problems with it, sometimes not. It’s very annoying.”
“I believe you.”
“Yesterday it was okay. Today it’s weird. Some days I don’t even want to acknowledge it. Same goes for some parts of my body, like my cheeks.”
“Your cheeks?”
“They’re too… roundy.”
“I like your cheeks.” Boscha leaned and planted a kiss on Vee’s right cheek.
“Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I see my sister. And I don’t want to see her.”
“Because…”
“No, not because she’s a loser.” Vee rolled xyr eyes with a smile. “Because she’s a girl and I don’t want.”
“To be honest, she has a lot of non-gender vibes.”
“I know… but still. She’s more feminine than me and I don’t want to see it.”
“Right… No fem, then.”
“My hair too, they look too much like hers.”
“You need a new haircut.”
“I know, right?”
“Something cute like you.”
“Exactly.”
“But not too short.”
“Why?”
“Because I like to put my hand in them.”
“Awww… Boscha…”
“Yes?”
“Kiss me.”
“You-”
“Kiss me. Right now.”
“Okay sugarplum-”
She didn’t even have the time to lean on because Vee grabbed her collar and pulled her in a kiss. A different one, a more intense. Vee needed to clear xyr mind and kissed Boscha to get rid of everything. Because xe was on cloud nine with her. Xe kissed her several times before going for her neck, now it was xyr time to have fun.
✨✨✨
“Boscha?”
“What?”
“You have something on your neck,” noticed Skara.
“What?!”
“Have you hurt yourself or something?” Amity narrowed her eyes.
Vee met Boscha’s look, and a knowing smile came on xyr lips, xe was enjoying this more than xe should. Boscha blushed but it seemed only Vee could see it; that, and the fabulous hickey the redhead girl had in the neck. Or at least Vee seemed to be the only one to know what it was.
“Hurt myself? Oh yes, I… I accidently hit something like a… hand dryer… and I had to scratch myself because… it was scratchy.”
Skara and Amity looked at each other, then at Boscha then at each other, then at Vee then shrugged.
“Okay.”
Vee let out a sigh. Xe wasn’t ready to talk about xyr relationship with the redhead popular girl. Especially when… when xyr thoughts were completely about her. Her perfect jawline, her beautiful eyes, her strong muscles, her impeccable outfit, her flustered face when Vee was kissing her, her needy face when xe stopped, how Vee always wanted some more of her. Xe really needed to talk to her about it. But not now. Not right now… Especially when xe was holding Boscha in xyr arms, in the same bathroom as the one in the morning, free of their jacket, Boscha pinned against the wall, Vee giving her another hickey, entertained by the sound of her sighs. Xyr hand was firmly grasping the shock of red hair belonging to xyr secret lover.
“Vee…” sighed Boscha in a whisper. Her friend hummed as a reply. “Don’t stop,” she added.
Vee smiled as xe kissed Boscha’s neck, then went up on her jawline, her cheek, the corner of her lips, to end directly on her lips, kissing her again, and again, and again, one more time, twice, thrice, four times. Xe couldn’t get enough. Xe wanted more. More. More. More. More of Boscha’s lips, more of that cherry taste, more of that awesome feeling running through xyr veins. More. More. More. More. More of Boscha, xe wanted more of her, just her for xem, only her, here and forever.
More.
More.
More.
More.
Xe was intoxicated with the redhead girl. Addicted to her personality, her good look, and those lips. Those lips. God, those lips. It was like kissing an angel, and that angel would kiss xem back. She was funny, smart, sweet, dreamy, strong, soft. She was everything. Vee had a crush. Xe knew it now. Xe had a crush. Everything xe needed was to get closer. And now xe was more closer to her than ever, even xyr sister didn’t know everything about xem. Only Boscha knew. Only Boscha.
Boscha.
Boscha.
The girl with red head was the only thing xe could think of; day and night. Xyr dreams were only about her.
Boscha.
Another popular girl who fell for Vee. Another girl Vee wanted to protect Luz from. Another mean girl who knew how to act.
But this time it was different.
Because Boscha was different. She wasn’t perfect, like Clara or the others could be. She had flaws, she was weak, she had a sweet hidden centre. She had a shell to protect herself from everything. A strong shell, unbreakable at first sight. But Vee cracked that shell, and now xe was seeing her like xe would have from the start. And it was beautiful. Vee wanted more of her, more than just simple kisses.
Vee fell in love with Boscha.
And the only thing xe needed now was to ask her out.