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“Dark,”
Minho wasn’t wrong. It was dark. The skies were vacant of any shining stars; even a plane felt like a rare sight this evening. With the mundane night caving in on them, Minho continues to blink up at the night sky wishing for something to happen.
Even a bird flying by would give the little some source of amusement.
Jisung can’t help but feel the same from where he’s sitting behind him, his arms loosely wrapped around Minho’s torso. It was growing later and later with each second that passed by, soon it would be midnight, way past Minho’s bedtime.
“How long is Binnie gon’ be?” Minho pouts, grabbing Jisung’s hand to play with the rings that adorned his fingers. He twists the silver one around, already missing Changbin despite the fact he was barely a few feet from him, tying his shoelaces.
“Not long, I’ll be back before you go to bed, I promise,” Changbin smiles, he knows just how much Minho hated going to sleep without one of his main caregivers there to tuck him in. Ever since they became his caregivers 3 years ago, it had basically become a tradition right away.
Reluctantly, Minho nods. He doesn’t understand why Changbin had to go out again this close to bedtime and moreover, he didn’t get why Chan wasn’t here either. Having one of his caregivers out was bad enough, let alone the both of them.
Minho sighs, watching Changbin step out into the darkness, the warmth from their brief goodbye hug lingering on his body.
Jisung draws the curtains, sauntering back to the couch where he slouched down with a quiet yawn, “I know Min, I know. He’ll be back soon.” It was rare to see Minho this withdrawn instead of his usual upbeat personality where he’d be practically jumping off the walls with the amount of energy in his being.
“Channie too?” Minho asks, looking up at Jisung with wide, hopeful eyes. Jisung forces out a smile, not giving him a straight answer.
It was hard to say these days, neither of them seemed to be around at the same time. Despite being on a break, Chan seemed to be hibernating in the studio more than usual and Changbin spent most of his nights trekking out in the dark to retrieve him.
He always came back alone.
~
Changbin clears his throat, pulling his hood down from where the harsh wind had knocked it back. To make matters worse, he can feel the clouds trying to rain in their feeble attempt of spitting. He didn’t mind it all too much, at least it wasn’t chucking it down. A little rain never hurt anyone.
As he lets his eyes wander, he sees other people passing by, some in suits, some clearly coming from a night out. It makes him feel a little uneasy, after all, you never know anyone’s true intentions.
This is the main reason why he didn’t approve of the boys going out after dark, you don’t know who’s out there lurking in the shadows.
A stray cat scurries by him, taking cover under the wilted bush that would only block out the rain for so long. Changbin spares it a look, keeping his eyes trained ahead. He wasn’t about to get himself murdered, no thank you.
The building standing proudly in front of him makes his feet speed up a little, the glowing brightness from beyond the doors beckoning him inside into the warmth. The night shift receptionist gives him a tired smile, he’s become rather acquainted with the receptionists with just how often he walks through those doors at stupid times of the night.
As if on autopilot, his legs walk the familiar route up to the studio where no doubt Chan would be working his ass off next to a pile of energy drinks and snacks.
He punches in the password, pushing the door open and being greeted with just the sight he’d thought up on his way here.
Chan’s sitting there, oblivious to both the time and the extra presence in the room as he intently listens to the track before he edits something and plays it again from the start.
Changbin stands there, watching for a second longer before deciding to place a bottle of water on his desk, startling Chan who had been in another world.
“Changbin,” Chan lets out a relieved breath, his eyes falling on his friend’s unimpressed face, “You scared me.” He lets out a quiet laugh, spinning back to look at his computer screen.
God, he hates how Chan even has the audacity to laugh at a time like this. Quite literally at a time like this.
“Sorry,”
Chan halts his movements, turning away from the screen again, “Is something up?” It was as clear as day that Changbin wasn’t his usual self right now, if his deadpan expression wasn’t enough of a hint, his impatient tapping should say just as much.
He grits his teeth, concealing his anger, he’d never been good at keeping his cool unlike Chan but Changbin feels like he’s doing a pretty good job of it right now.
“Do you know what time it is?”
Chan furrows his eyebrows, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s around 8:30, right?” So close yet so far.
Changbin shakes his head, checking his watch, “It’s 11:30,” He seethes, feeling the anger boil back up inside him.
Chan stays silent, his eyes flickering between the screen and Changbin’s scarily neutral face, “I’ve only got one more thing to do, I promise.”
It was only one more thing yesterday, it had only been one more thing for the entirety of three weeks.
“Okay,” Changbin breathes out, “I’ll tell Minho you said goodnight,”
Again.
Mouth left agape, Chan sits and blinks at Changbin for a second longer trying to find some words.
“If you’re not coming home then I’m going,”
“Changbin, wait-”
With a fire burning inside him, Changbin calmly steps out of the studio and begins the walk back down to the exit. If he wasn’t so worried about Minho, he’d be heading straight to the gym to abuse those poor punching bags. They wouldn’t last a minute with the anger boiling inside him, threatening to overflow.
It was hard to get mad at Chan, or at anyone given how close they were after all these years of training together. Changbin wasn’t mad at Chan, he was mad at his tendency to overwork and neglect everything else until he deemed whatever it was he was working on to be perfect.
Changbin knows just how bad it is to overwork yourself.
He wouldn’t have minded so much if it were a one-time thing but Chan had been in that studio for three weeks without as much as a day off and it was starting to get a little bit out of hand. He could only be thankful that Minho wasn’t little every night or else he’d have a big problem.
However, at least 6 times in those three weeks, Minho had been little and awaiting Chan’s arrival where he could tuck him into bed with Changbin like they always had done.
Changbin knows better than anyone else that it can be hard to get out of your own head when you're in a mindset like Chan was right now but he can basically see the exhaustion oozing from Chan’s body.
He can see the countless sleepless nights and he could quite literally see the energy drinks piling up next to the protein bars Chan had been snacking on. You might as well write EXHAUSTED in big, bold letters across his forehead.
As he passes the vending machine, he can’t help but feel thankful that he’d managed to get Chan a bottle of fresh water. That was something at least. Changbin was starting to get concerned that energy drinks were running in his blood with how often he seemed to be drinking them.
“Shit,” Changbin curses under his breath as he steps out into the cold, mid-November air which may as well be compared to Antarctica with how much he felt as if his ears were icing up. The wind slaps him in the face proving just as much, oh how he wishes to be under some warm covers right about now.
He braces himself for the downpour outside the building, waiting wouldn’t do anything. By the looks of it, the rain was only getting harder with each second that passed. Not only that, Changbin didn’t want to waste any more time away from his little, Minho must be half asleep waiting for him.
Changbin always liked to make sure Minho was in bed by 10 and judging by the skies above him, it was far gone 10. It would be almost 12 by the time he would get back. Thankfully, Minho wasn’t a stranger to late nights, Jisung had stolen Minho one too many times for a movie night. Though, Minho always fell asleep somewhere between the second and third movies.
He pushes the thoughts out of his head, focusing on getting the heck back home before he froze to death out here. Pulling the drawstrings of his hoodie tighter, Changbin broke into a light jog, the fastest his legs would let him go while feeling like ice.
The rain quickly soaked through his clothes, and the water seeping into his shoes only served to make this evening more of a task than it had to be. Houses surrounding him with their curtains drawn and lights out mocked him with every step he took, eventually getting closer to the building he’d been in not only an hour ago.
“Hyung, you’re soaked!” Hyunjin gasps, taking it upon himself to rid Changbin of his sopping wet coat.
Changbin stands there for a second, collecting his thoughts, “I hadn’t noticed,” He deadpans, peeling his socks off and leaving them on the floor for someone else to deal with.
“Did Chan Hyung not come back with you?” Hyunjin grimaces knowing just how many times this week alone Changbin had gone out of his way to drag Chan back with no success.
Changbin sighs, running a hand through his dripping hair, “Does it look like he came back with me?” He glares, feeling painfully frustrated at his silly little attempts to get their leader back to a place of rest.
Hyunjin stays quiet, he knows Changbin doesn’t mean it. After all, if he were in his place, Hyunjin would have a hard time not snapping at everyone too.
Letting out his millionth sigh of the day, Changbin lightly frowns, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” He says, passing by Hyunjin, leaving a reassuring hand on his shoulder for a few seconds.
“It’s okay Hyung, I know,” Hyunjin smiles, catching up with Changbin, “I put Minho to bed, he said he wouldn’t sleep until you got back so Jisung’s reading him a takeout menu,”
Changbin doesn’t question it, whatever works for them.
“Thanks,” He smiles, pushing the thoughts of Chan working himself to oblivion away for the night, “I owe you.”
Hyunjin shakes his head, giving Changbin a disappointed look, “You owe us nothing. Now go and get some sleep…And dry off,”
Changbin lets out a dry laugh, heading into the bathroom with a change of clothes, narrowly avoiding his reflection in the mirror. That’s just about the last thing he wants to see right now. Despite the fact he knew looking in the mirror would ruin his last bit of remaining sanity, he let his eyes settle on his drained reflection.
Does he even deserve to feel this way when Chan’s out there working his ass off, running on two hours of sleep, on their break, making more tracks for the team? Meanwhile, Changbin hadn’t stepped foot in the studio to make music at all during their break. He’s not sure where Jisung stands in it all, Changbin isn’t sure he wants to know.
Even while on a break for them to relax, Changbin seems to be doing anything but that.
~
“Binnie,” Minho’s sleepy eyes widened, his head remaining on Jisung’s shoulder, “No Channie?” He frowns, trying his best to peek behind Changbin only to see a wall.
Changbin swallows down the guilt, “Not tonight, baby. He’s working,” God, he hates seeing Minho deflate so quickly.
“Again?”
“Yeah…Again,” Changbin lets out a long breath, “He’ll be here in the morning though,” At least he hopes so, Changbin wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t show up.
Despite the fact that Chan stayed up all night pumping out new lyrics, melodies and whatnot, he always made sure to come back in the morning. Even if it was just for a few hours before he headed straight back.
Because of that, Changbin rarely sees him these days.
When Chan came back for his morning visits, Changbin would be heading to the gym for his scheduled workouts with his personal trainer. They always managed to miss one another by a few minutes.
During the time Chan spent back at the dorm, he’d catch up on some sleep and would make sure to spend some quality time with Minho. However, by the time Changbin would get home, Chan would be long gone.
Nodding sadly, Minho accepts it. After all, he’d gotten quite used to falling asleep with only one of his caregivers. Though, he wouldn’t make a fuss over it. Changbin looked stressed enough as it was and Chan was no better, Minho didn’t want to be a burden and make anything harder than it had to be.
“Thanks, Sung,” Changbin pats his shoulder as he walks by, he’d be lost without them. In truth, he’d be lost without any of the members, all of them helped in many ways. Minho too would be lost without them, while Chan and Changbin were his main caregivers, Minho loved everyone equally.
Maybe Chan and Changbin just a tiny bit more, but not by much!
“No problem,” Jisung smiles, turning around to wave at Minho from the doorway, “G’Night Min! Sleep well,”
“Night night Sungie!” Minho beams, letting his previous sadness fade into the background, it’d be sure to return later.
He fell asleep with his arms tightly wrapped around Changbin’s waist, a weak hand clutching the material of Changbin’s sleep shirt.
How anyone would choose to miss this is beyond him, Minho was simply to die for.
~
“Wakey- wakey sunshine~” Changbin sings as he throws his hoodie on, the one that Minho often likes to ‘borrow’ and return a few weeks later. Changbin thinks- No, he knows it’s because Minho likes it better when it smells like him, not that Minho has ever said it. He’d turned into a bright red tomato when Changbin had asked him about it.
Boyfriend privileges.
Changbin had woken up a few hours ago, since then he’d showered, changed, put some washing on and had even managed to make himself something to eat.
Minho whines, stretching out across the bed, his face scrunching up as he tries and fails to conceal a yawn. Changbin laughs at the little’s early morning madness, as adorable as it was, Minho eventually opened his eyes to see Changbin looking down at him, shoes on and ready to leave.
He’s very familiar with Changbin’s morning outings, Minho used to make a fuss to go with him but after one day at the gym with Changbin, he was no longer bothered about going with him. To this day, the gym still haunts him.
As long as he got his morning hugs, Minho didn’t mind.
Changbin swoops down, gracefully picking Minho up with no problems, “Did you sleep well?” He asks, swaying them gently from side to side.
He gives Changbin a sleepy nod, continuing to rest his head on his caregiver’s shoulder. Changbin found it was quite a task getting words out of Minho when he’d just woke up but he nor Chan ever minded.
“Jisungie’s making you breakfast, what do you think about getting a quick wash in the meantime?” With a pout and a reluctant huff, Minho nods. He was always so well-behaved and rarely- if ever- acted out. God, Changbin doesn’t even remember the last time Minho had cried.
“Morning sleepyhead,” Jisung grins, taking Minho from Changbin’s arms after their final hug, “You off now?”
Changbin hums, stealing a slice of toast from the plate, “Yeah, I’ll be back around lunchtime,”
Jisung nods, tossing him a bottle from the fridge, “Alright, I’ll see you in a bit,” He smiles, hoisting Minho up in his arms.
Changbin nods, holding a hand up, “See you later,” He says to Jisung before averting his attention to Minho, “Love you,” He most clearly directs at Minho.
“I love you too Changbinnie,” Jisung cheekily grins, making kissy faces at the older from across the room. Changbin throws him a strong glare but his face couldn’t keep up when he heard Minho’s quiet giggle.
“Min loves Binnie too,”
~
Not long after they had finished eating up the food Jisung had cooked up, the front door creaked open, stepping in Chan looked nothing far from a walking corpse with the amount of sleep he was running on.
Minho, who had spent the last half hour sitting on the couch with Jisung watching Kiki’s Delivery Service because the cat, Jiji, was simply to die for, instantly perked up at the sound of the door opening.
Chan walked in, toeing his shoes off at the door, furrowing his eyes in confusion at the soggy socks left laying there. His attention quickly snapped to Minho chanting his name like a mantra as he came snowballing towards him.
“Hey, sweetheart! I’ve missed you,” Chan smiles, holding Minho close just like Changbin had done this morning. Minho says just as much back even though he’d also spent yesterday morning with Chan.
“What’re you two up to?” Chan questions, heading into the living room with Minho clinging to his side. Minho drags him onto the couch, claiming his spot on Chan’s lap as soon as he hits the pillow.
“Watchin’ Kiki an’ Jiji!” Chan ahh’s, accustomed to Minho’s love of Studio Ghibli films which, in all fairness, is valid. They were addicting to watch.
They sit there for the rest of the movie in relative silence, however, Chan was finding it rather difficult to concentrate on the movie. He was just happy to be with Minho, his little dopamine enhancer.
While most of Minho’s attention was on Kiki trying to get her broom to cooperate, Chan could feel Minho gripping his hand just a tad bit tighter. He was adorable.
“When did Changbin leave?” Chan asks, bringing Jisung out of his trance.
He looks up at the clock and back at Chan, “About an hour ago. Are you out again tonight?” Jisung waits for his answer, watching Chan’s eyes flicker to Minho on his lap. His eyes linger there for a moment, a hint of sadness washing over him before he raises his head again.
“Not tonight, I’m staying in,” Chan says, now it was his turn to subconsciously wrap his arms tighter around Minho, his little.
Jisung conceals his shock, keeping his smile to himself. What he hadn’t told Changbin and would most likely keep to himself was the fact Minho had opened up to him last night. Minho couldn’t understand why his caregivers weren’t talking to each other but he’d made Jisung pinky promise that it would stay between them.
He wouldn’t break Minho’s trust but something had to be done, by the looks of it, things might finally turn around.
“Channie?” Minho pats his arm, no longer interested in the movie, he’d seen it countless times anyway.
“Hm?”
Minho lets a smile spread on his face at his bright idea, “Can we colour?”
Just like always, Chan instantly agrees, “Of course, go and get your pens lovely,” Minho scurries off with a wide smile painted across his face, it had been ages since they’d gotten the opportunity to calmly sit and colour.
While Minho had 2 main caregivers, he only liked to sit and colour with Chan. Nobody knew why but Chan would forever hold onto it, he found it was a special time when they could bond.
During colouring in time, Minho tended to become chattier and would open up a lot more, it was always endearing to sit and watch. While Chan never cared for colouring, he found himself overjoyed when Minho asked to sit and draw.
“Is Channie busy t’night?”
Continuing to shade in the skyline, Chan shakes his head, “Not tonight, Channie’s staying in,” Gosh, Chan would say those words 100 more times to see Minho’s reaction again.
Minho gasps, his eyes comedically widening, “Channie an’ Binnie?” He impatiently asks, practically vibrating on the spot when Chan mimicked his smile, nodding to Minho’s question.
Subtly, Chan glances at his watch checking how much longer it would be until Changbin got home. He loved Minho, he was his little angel, his bundle of joy but Changbin? He loved Changbin too.
While Chan would strive to protect Minho with all his might, Changbin made him want to go out of his way to put a smile on his face. Chan loved them both dearly, once again, it comes under the boyfriend privileges.
“Speak of the devil,” Jisung mumbles, answering the incoming call from Changbin. Chan spares a look, growing worried at Jisung’s pained expression as a mantra of yes’ fell from his mouth.
Waiting for Jisung to put the phone down was like waiting for results from the doctor, Chan found it to be insufferable.
“He’s not coming home today, his sister is in town,” Jisung grimaces, his eyes instantly scanning Minho’s expression.
He visibly deflated, the smile Minho had once been proudly wearing had instantly been wiped off his face as soon as the words had left Jisung’s mouth. Chan too, Jisung doesn't think he’s ever seen him so conflicted.
“Min baby, I’m sorry,” Chan frowns, resting a hand on Minho’s back, “Maybe tomorrow, yeah?” Chan would do all it takes to make sure Minho was happy again, he would do anything to see that smile on his face again.
Minho sadly nods, it always seemed to be tomorrow. Why couldn’t it just be today? “It’s okay,” He quietly mumbles, Chan feels his heart break even more.
“C’mere,” Chan whispers, opening his arms up, “There’s always next time,”
Minho crawls over, falling straight into Chan’s arms. He loved hugs but this one just made him feel all that much sadder for some reason…
It’s gotten to the point that Chan doesn’t even know if he’s hugging Minho to comfort him or himself. How he wishes it could be the three of them but things happen, and there was nothing you could do about that.
The little lets his face fall into Chan’s chest and Minho could only be thankful that nobody could see the tears threatening to fall. Why couldn’t he have both of his caregivers? It wasn’t fair.
~
It was a hard night for Minho, constantly waking up, his mind was working overtime with the number of thoughts clouding his head. If his caregivers weren’t talking to each other, there had to be a reason, right? Minho wouldn’t be selfish and interrupt, it might make them take even longer…
However, the little didn’t have to dwell over it for so long. By the time Minho woke up, he was big and Chan was getting ready to leave again.
Minho didn’t think much of it, it’s the usual after all, though he can’t help but feel a little sour towards his absence.
“Off to the studio?” Minho asks, feeling oddly tired. Another mystery to add to his day along with his red, blotchy cheeks…He doesn’t recall crying, he guessed it was probably just a dream. After all, if he’d cried when little, Chan probably would’ve told him.
Finishing off his breakfast, Chan nods, “Only for a few hours,” He answers and Minho swears Chan seems on edge about leaving. Not that it mattered much, he left anyway.
~
Staying big didn’t last long, not with the number of questions little Min had swirling around in his head. Hyunjin and Jisung were the only ones left to watch over him but it wasn’t the same excited Minho as usual, then again, Minho hadn’t really been himself for the past couple of weeks.
“He seems so lethargic,” Jisung whispers, sharing a worried look with Hyunjin as Minho slumps down onto the floor, not even bothering to find something to occupy his time.
Hyunjin squats down next to him, “Everything alright?” He asks, patiently waiting for a response from an absent Minho.
“Channie an’ Binnie?”
Jisung swallows down his guilt, “Sorry Min, they’re both out right now,” Minho nods, asking if they were together at least. Hyunjin and Jisung’s faces told him all he needed to know.
~
“Hyung, can we talk for a second?” Jisung says, bombarding Changbin as soon as he steps through the door. Taking a glance back at Minho who was sitting on the floor looking lost as he aimlessly rolled some cars around on the floor, “You need to make up with Chan Hyung,”
Changbin furrows his eyebrows looking just as lost as Minho did, “But we haven’t fallen out,” While they kept missing each other by a few minutes and Changbin didn’t agree with Chan’s overworking, they hadn’t fallen out.
“Then at least spend time together with Minho, look at him,” Jisung hopelessly gestures to Minho but it seems Changbin doesn’t quite get what he’s getting at.
Jisung heaved a sigh, he’d had the same conversation with Chan this morning but both of them seemed oblivious.
So much for trying to make things better.
“Sungie an’ Jinnie?” Minho mumbles, fiddling with his fingers, once again left without Chan and Changbin. At least this time it was kind of worth it- kind of. Changbin had gone out to fetch Chan, this time he knew he’d be coming back. They’d called one another earlier, shared a few laughs and now he was on his way to walk Chan back.
“What’s up buttercup?”
Hyunjin grabs the remote, pausing the tv to put all their attention on the little who didn’t seem to have much to say. He stood there for a few moments, looking between Hyunjin and Jisung before abruptly falling to the floor with a loud cry.
Even had a breaking point, it’s just a matter of getting to it.
He continues to cry, curling in on himself on the floor with Hyunjin gasping above him. Jisung shot down to the floor with him, pulling him into an immediate hug which did nothing to calm Minho down.
Hyunjin was quick to send Chan and Changbin a text before he got to work on calling Minho down with Jisung. It was hard seeing anyone cry but seeing Minho cry? This was new.
Waiting for his caregivers was quite possibly the longest 10 minutes of their life, Minho never stopped crying, if anything, Hyunjin is fairly certain it got louder.
By the time the door swung open, Minho was a quivering mess in Jisung’s arms, hyperventilating with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Minho!” The pair gasps from the door, rushing towards him with open arms. Jisung steps out of the way letting Chan pick Minho up from the ground.
While he doesn’t calm down right away, feeling the familiar warmth of both Chan and Changbin hugging him allows his thoughts to be sedated, put at rest for once. Changbin had taken the liberty of ushering Chan to the bedroom, Minho loves hugs, and what better than snuggles in bed?
It turns out, Changbin was more than right. Snuggles in bed solved everything. Well, maybe there was room for improvement but it was a good start, they’d be able to move forward from here.
That night, for the first time in forever, Minho fell asleep with his two caregivers hugging him from both sides. This was the definition of home and Minho wouldn’t have it any other way.
“We love you, Min,”
And we’re sorry.