Archive of Our Own ^beta

USA
"So, get this!" Sam said after days of searching for a new case. Dean looked up from his own laptop and looked at his brother, confused. He had completely forgotten that he should be looking for new cases and has watched the new season of Young Royals for the last 4 hours.

They sat in their bunker, which now had become their new home. There haven't been any new cases in the U.S. lately, so Sam had the grandiose idea to expand their search range and start looking for cases in Europe.
"In Ellmau, Austria, there have been several sightings of climbers presumed dead. Since we have nothing better to do, I would say that we grab our dirndls and lederhosen and set off." Sam Said, who was already fidgety with enthusiasm.

Dean, who just stared at his enthusiastic brother perplexed. He didn't say anything and just thought that his brother had completely lost his mind. "That's the stupidest idea ever." Dean said after much consideration. "Why go to Austria? You would have to fly there. I hate flying."

"Austria is very beautiful at this time of year and I've never been to Germany. And you don't necessarily have to fly, you just dig a hole and be done." Sam did have a good argument; Dean likes to dig holes. "Fine. I'll let Cas know and start packing." Dean said, giving in. "Great!" Sam jumped up and performed a kind of victory dance.

Dean went to tell Cas. He was a little confused as it was not customary to leave the US for the Winchesters. "Why are we going to Austria?" Cas asked his boyfriend in surprise.

"Sam wants to, so let's do it because I'm not in the mood for a discussion. And now come on, we have to pack and then have to rest a little because it will take a long time to dig this hole." Dean said and opened the closet to get the dirndl and lederhosen. After he finished packing, he laid down in his bed, snuggled up to Cas and fell asleep.

°°°°°°°°°°
The next morning, they started digging. After getting dressed, Dean in dirndl and Cas and Sam in lederhosen, they climbed into the impala and started digging the hole. They dug and dug. Did they have any idea where exactly they were digging? No. They just kept digging.

"I think we'll be there soon," Sam shouted over the loud music from the radio since Dean only listened to loud music. However, the music was promptly turned off by Dean himself in order to understand Sam better. "Well, finally. I was wondering when we reached Germany." They dug a little further.

To their surprise, as they were right before the surface, loud screeching and music came from above. That didn't stop them from digging and they kept going. And finally! They had broken through the upper lower layer and were not in Austria with their car....

They were standing on a stage of a One Direction concert. "That's probably where the music came from." Sam thought. Full of panic and not knowing what to do, Dean started driving again and ran over One Direction. (RIP) "Dean! What the hell?! What are you doing? You can't just run over One Direction!" Castiel shouted in panic. "I don't know! I think we dug in the Wrong direction ;)" Called Dean back and drove back through her hole.

Dean drove to the spot where they went wrong and began to dig in the right direction.

°°°°°°°°°°
Since this story about the Winchesters, everything never goes according to plan. Did they make it to Ellmau? Yes. Did they miscalculate a little bit and came out in the middle of the ski slope and are now killing several skiers? Yes. Do they keep going anyway because they have to reach the foot of the mountain somehow and because Dean secretly likes to run people over? Yes.

After finally arriving at the foot of the mountain (and after running over another 32 people), they drove to the next best hotel to look for a room for the next few days. As always, they get a room, because of the rules. They first went to the room and then decided to go to the hotel's restaurant because Dean was hungry.

As they entered the restaurant, two men walked past them. The two were involved in a discussion. "No, Sherlock, you're not going to solve any cases now. We are here on holiday to celebrate our fifth-year anniversary. The dead people who were run over by a cold-blooded maniac on the ski slope today can wait." Said a slightly smaller blond man to a tall dark-haired man, probably Sherlock, grabbed him by the ear and pulled him back to the restaurant. "But John, murder and death!" complained Sherlock. "No." John said sternly, ignoring his husband's further protests.

Sam, Dean and Cas looked for a table and ordered a beer each and a Weißwurst because they want to adapt and as you can see from the lederhosen and dirndl, they have a clue about Austria and Germany.
"It's late and we're all very exhausted. I think it would be better if we dealt with the investigation and the ghosts tomorrow." Cas finally said when they had left the restaurant. Sam and Dean agreed happily with Cas, and they went back to their room.

°°°°°°°°°°
In the morning they made their way to the mountain after getting climbing equipment, as they have not thought of the fact that they had to climb mountains, because if you go to the mountains in Austria to hunt ghosts, you never EVER have to climb mountains.

The evening before, the three searched for information about the ghosts and where exactly they often appeared. It turned out that many ghosts were spotted at the Toad-Gorge. So, the two brothers and Cas made their way there. it turned out that even if you were already died and came back again several times does not mean that you can climb mountains. And as luck plays for the Winchesters in such situations, they fell down into a ravine and got attacked by ghosts.

Normally, they could have defended themselves better, but due to the fall, Sam was incapacitated, and Cas was knocked out by one of the ghosts. Dean has already used all the salt bullets and was now completely defenseless. He waits for the ghost attack to be over, which goes surprisingly fast. Apparently, the Austrian minds are not as hated as the Americans.

Dean tried everything to wake up his brother and his boyfriend, but it didn't help. He was forced to call the Bergretter.

°°°°°°°°°°
After about ten minutes, Dean could hear the approaching rescue helicopter. "At last," thought Dean, "it's about time for the Bergretter to come." The helicopter landed close to the gorge and two men got out. After the two climbed down into the ravine, the blond man said, "Grüß Gott. I'm Andreas and this is Tobias. We're here to save you" He pointed to the man with the mustache and the two started stabilizing Sam and Cas and helping Dean into the helicopter.

Dean told them the details of what happened exactly, he also mentioned the ghosts, because dean thought that maybe the Bergretter are secretly also Berggeisterjäger. It turned out that they are not Berggeisterjäger, because the pilot, Michi, almost flew into a mountain in shock. "Your friends will soon get better, don't worry. We take them to the valley hospital to the Bergdoktor, Martin Gruber." Tobias said and examined Dean's head again because he suspected that he had a concussion after Dean finished telling the story about the ghosts.

But when Tobias couldn't find anything, he classified Dean as mentally ill, because no normal person sees ghosts. They flew to the hospital for treatment.

°°°°°°°°°°
Meanwhile on the ski slopes:
"This evil, evil man." Jeremy Fragrance thought "How dare he insult my wonderful body odor." He was angry, so angry. Jeremy clung miserably to his emergency-fragrance bottle and sprayed himself with it. In the distance, Hawk Moth could sense Jeremy's anger and sent an Akumaa from Paris, knowing that Cat Noir and Ladybug would show up.

"Fragrance, I'm Hawk Moth. The bad man insulted your fragrance. I will give you POWER. From now on, everyone will obey you and like your fragrance, after you sprayed them with your fragrance. And in exchange for that, I just want the Miraculous from Ladybug and Cat Noir." Hawkmoth said, turning Jeremy into fragrance.

"POWER! Now everyone will feel my wonderful scent!" shouted Fragrance and began to spray the other skiers and hikers with his new akumatized fragrance bottle. The sprayed people imminently shouted, "Oh! The wonderful fragrance."

"Not so fast, Fragrance!" Shouted a voice behind him. Fragrance turned around and saw Ladybug and Cat Noir. But Fragrance just laughed and raced towards the two to spray them as well.

But since they are Ladybug and Cat Noir, the two of course managed not to get sprayed. Ladybug got her lucky charm, which turned out to be an assault rifle, and shot Fragrance with it. Cat Noir then destroyed the perfume bottle with his cataclysm and the Akumaa was also captured. With Ladybug's power to restore everything, the whole ski slope was restored, except Jeremy, who remained dead. (RIP)

Of course, one is surprised that Ladybug and Cat Noir are in Ellmau and not in Paris. But there is a very simple explanation for this because the guardians of the Miraculous live here on the top of a mountain. Since they are in unknown danger and have sent a distress signal, Ladybug and Cat Noir had to rush to help them. But they were stopped by Fragrance. But now that this problem has been removed, they were able to make their way to the Miraculous Guardians undisturbed.

It was a long way to the summit, but for Ladybug and Cat Noir nothing is too long, and they made it after a long hike. On the top there was a wooden hut opposite them, it didn't seem particularly big, but it wasn't small either. It looked very comfortable. Cat Noir was about to knock on the door when it opened. And in front of them stood...

Rea Garvey von The Voice of Germany. They hadn't expected him. "Oh, thank God. You are here. We desperately need your help." He said and shooed them into the hut. Even from the inside, the hut looked homely and cozy. Rea led them into the living room, where another man was sitting on an armchair. "Ah. Ladybug and Cat Noir, nice to have you here. I'm Samu." He introduced himself and shook hands with both of them.

"You're probably wondering why we sent you a distress signal." Rea said and sat down. Ladybug and Cat Noir nodded. "We have learned from confidential sources that someone is planning to steal the Miraculous and use them for evil. Unfortunately, we are already too old and too weak to withstand the threats and therefore ask you for help." This seemed extremely horrifying. "Of course, we help where we can," said Cat Noir, "Protecting the Miraculous is our priority."

Unfortunately, since they did not know exactly when the danger would arrive, the four sat in an awkward silence and waited. They waited for exactly two hours, 24 minutes, and 32 seconds, then suddenly a loud bang came from outside.

Ladybug and Cat Noir went outside to prevent danger. Once outside, they saw Dumbledore pulling Mark Forster out of a hole. When Mark saw Ladybug and Cat Noir, he started laughing. "Really? Are you serious? A ladybug and a cat boy are supposed to protect you and the Miraculous. Hilarious!” Mark shouted so that Rea and Samu, who had stayed in the hut to protect the Miraculous, could also hear him.

"Watch out who you're calling Cat boy here. You Brillenschlange." Cat Noir hissed and extended his claws. "Oh, the kitten is angry." Dumbledore laughed and drew his wand. "Stupor." Spelled Dumbledore and knocked Cat Noir out.

"What do you want with the Miraculous?" asked Ladybug, who defended herself from the spells with her yo-yo, because of rules of life. "I want to take revenge on my archenemy. If I am in possession of all Miraculous, I will destroy Oma." Dumbledore said hatefully and continued to hurl spells at Ladybug. "And I…," said Mark Forster. "And I'll be president of Italy and from there I'll take over the world!" He started laughing with a terrible laugh like a witch. Ladybug looked at him distraught. "WTF!!!" she thought to herself.

Suddenly Lena Meyer-Landrut climbed out of the hole and walked towards him. "Mark! Mark!" she shouted, "Listen to me Mark. That's not you. Come back to me." She begged him and looked deep into his eyes. She suddenly began to sing: (turn on „Taubes Nüsschen“ by SpongeBob SquarePants

Ich bin ein taubes Nüsschen (rock!)
Du bist ein taubes Nüsschen (rock!)
Wir alle sind taube Nüsschen (rock!)
Taube, taube, taube Nüsschen (rock!)
Pack dein Spielzeug ein
Du sagst mir, "Lass es sein!"
Aber das find ich gemein und sage "nein" (nein!)
Nein, das darf nicht sein
Du magst Kinder nicht?
Sag es bloß nochmal und ich sag dir ins Gesicht:
"Du bist nicht ganz dicht" (dicht!)
Nein, das bist du nicht
Und wenn du dir jetzt denkst,
Du willst auch so wie ich sein
Dann lass es raus
Das Kind in dir wird dich befreien
Habelebäbelesibelebubele
Habelebäbelesibelebab
Ich bin ein taubes Nüsschen (rock!)
Du bist ein taubes Nüsschen (rock!)
Wir alle sind taube Nüsschen (rock!)
Taube, taube, taube Nüsschen (rock!)
(geiles Guitar riff)

"Do you remember, Mark?" Lena asked, with tears in her eyes, "That was the first song we ever danced and sang to together." Mark's gaze softened and he said affectionately, "Of course I remember. And yes, I'll come back to you." Lena fell around his neck. Dumbledore cleared his throat and awakened the two from their own little world.

"You want to give up your plans for a woman? Are you serious?" said Dumbledore indignantly. "Yes, bitch. Au revoir" Mark said, showing Dumbledore the middle finger and disappearing into the hole together with Lena. "One problem is solved. One to go." Said Ladybug and helped Cat Noir to his feet. "Two against one, you old man." He said and went into a fighting position.

"As if you could defeat me." Dumbledore laughed and was about to hurl a deadly spell at Ladybug when he was killed by a Ziegelstone falling from the sky. His lifeless body fell down the slope of the mountain. Full of amazement, Ladybug and Cat Noir looked up at the sky. There flew a purple-light-blue helicopter, which said on the side, in neon pink glittering lettering "Oma! Motherfuckers!"

Ladybug and Cat Noir were delighted. The danger was gone. And after a long victory party with Rea and Samu, where of course didn’t have any alcohol, they went back to Paris through their own hole.

°°°°°°°°°°
Down in the valley, the Bergretter delivered Sam and Cas immediately to the hospital. It turned out that Sam has a severe head wound and a sprained ankle. When the Bergdocktor wanted to examine Cas, Cas had just woken up, because he is an angel and because of rule of life. "I prescribe you bed rest, bed rest and bed rest." Said Dr. Martin Gruber, "You should rest until the headache is gone and in no case strain your foot."

Sam and Dean just nodded. They were already aware that they would not be here in the hospital for long. Nevertheless, they were shown to Sam's room. The room was typical for a hospital room. White and tasteless. It contained two beds, one for Sam and the other was already occupied. A boy of about 15 years laid there. He had short black hair and round glasses.

Apparently, he had visitors because there were two men around the bed. One was very tall and covered with scars, the other was slightly smaller, with shoulder-length curly black hair. They greeted each other briefly, but since the boy, Harry, had already been released, Harry left the room with his two uncles.

Now that they were alone in the room, Cas was able to heal Sam with his angel power. Since Sam was still not released, Dean and Cas Sam broke out of the hospital in the middle of the night by jumping through the window with him, not breaking anything because rule of life, even though it was the fourth floor.

They went back to their hotel to plan on how to get rid of the ghosts.

°°°°°°°°°°
At breakfast the next morning, they got ready. Cas had persuaded a nice elderly lady to lend them her purple-light-blue helicopter. Dean made his way to the flamethrower business, for a surprise, FLAMMENWERFER (flamethrower). Sam got the holy oil that can drive spirits back to the underworld.

Because the plan was: set the mountain on fire!!!

Whoever came up with this grandiose idea (dean) must have to struggle with many severe mental problems. Probably due to the daddy issues. Since none of them thought that you should be able to fly a helicopter when you borrow one, they asked the pilot of the Bergretters.

Michi was there for "personal reasons". Dean is convinced that he was indeed secretly a Berggeisterjäger. "I don't know what exactly you're up to, but it sounds like fun." Michi said after learning about the plans. Now Dean was 100% sure about the Berggeisterjäger.

They loaded the helicopter with the four canisters of oil and set off. Sam and Cas poured the canisters over the mountaint Dean... Well, Dean had the special and honorable task of setting the mountain on fire with his FLAMMENWERFER. The mountain burned brightly. Oh, a beautiful sight.

Their work here was done. The helicopter landed and they thanked Michi and the elderly woman for the helicopter. They checked out of the hotel and boarded the impala to finally dig back to America. They did not consider that their hole was on the mountain they had just burned down. So, they had to dig a new hole.

"That was an adventure." Sam said and sat down in the back seat of the Impala. Dean stepped on the gas and started digging.

DUCK GOOD, ALL GOOD:)