Work Text:
junghwan loves.
he loves like most people in this world do. there’s nothing extraordinary or special about his love in itself, nor his way of loving or receiving love. he loves his parents, his family, his friends, his members and doyoung, too.
see, junghwan loves.
he loves the smell of the iksan air and yearns for it, mixed with the scents of homemade food by his mother. he loves the way his father’s hand engulfs his shoulder when he feels proud of him. the quiet sounds of seoul in the morning, the loud ones dulled by car windows when he leaves the company after hard hours of training. sweat beading on his forehead, the burn in his muscles after a workout, the satisfaction after seeing the results of his hard work and dedication.
he loves singing and dancing more than anything. ever since he was young, he would dance uncontrollably and at every given moment. it has been a part of his life ever since he gained consciousness of himself and his reality. that’s why the biggest gift for him is to perform next to his members, the people that he loves the most. sharing a look, a secret smile, hidden grimaces with his hyungs is good. hearing the beat blast in his ear as his body moves, sharing the rhythm with his members and gaining as well as giving them energy as they move in one, reeling each other up even further and energizing each other like wires struck with electricity, is incredible. it’s exhilarating and gets his blood pumping, and most of all, it’s so, so, so much fun.
he loves all of it.
performing on stage in front of fans. the cheers. the loudness. chaos, calmness. his members. doyoung.
junghwan loves doyoung.
there are moments, where junghwan thinks that doyoung might love him back, like that. of course, junghwan knows that doyoung adores him, he’s not shy about showing his affection, after all. however, it could easily be mistaken for brotherly love. junghwan honestly doesn’t know which one it is: he hopes for that kind of love.
sometimes, doyoung will look at him the way hyunsuk hyung looks at jihoon hyung. he doesn’t know if he imagines it because he looks at doyoung like that. maybe the look in his eyes distorts his vision, his reality. they also spend lots of time together, but maybe that’s just because they’re, like, best friends.
sometimes, junghwan wonders what it would be like to kiss doyoung. he wonders, what doyoung would do if he just did. if he just pressed his chapped lips against doyoung‘s soft ones, see how doyoung‘s lips felt on his. if they would fit as perfectly together as their intertwined hands, or their bodies when they hug.
he doesn’t know how to describe his love for doyoung.
he loves and loves and loves him. and junghwan loves ordinarily and there’s nothing special about his love. he loves doyoung. doyoung is nice and caring and sweet and lively and special. junghwan loves (ordinary) doyoung (special).
he doesn’t know when or how it happened, only that it did. it was as inevitable as the passing of time.
maybe one day he’ll tell him, or just press their lips together to see what happens.
but for now, he will just continue loving.