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Chapter Text

It is a delicate task and one that must be handled with care. If she does it wrong then she can ruin everything, months of tedious hard work will be for nothing at all. If she damages the frame then she will have wasted her time. Worse still, if she injures one of the bees she could devastate the entire swarm. She will feel the ripples of that for months.

Azula secures her veil and slips on a pair of gloves. Evidently she hasn’t been stung yet even without the gloves and veil but she would much rather avoid a first time if she can. She runs her equipment checklist; bee brush, honey extractor, uncapping knife, and a few containers for the honey itself. Kei Lo has given her a smoker but she has no use for it, she is her own smoker. Truly she doesn’t know how Kei Lo always seems to forget that. 

Sometimes she thinks that he forgets that she is his princess. Perhaps she owes it to having taken up residency in a small Earth Kingdom countryside village. A village known for its honey exports. A village where her firebending has become a popular commodity.

Azula begins to smoke out the hive. 

More than once she had been approached by another beekeeper, one who had lost or broken their smoker or had never had one to begin with. And she supposes that it is quite nice to have her firebending appreciated instead of feared for a change. 

She supposes that it is nice to be appreciated instead of feared. 

Granted the bees are rather afraid of her at the moment, she watches them retreat away from the honeycombs, some deeper into their hive and others buzz on by her head likely to find some flowers to occupy for the time being. 

Azula inhales, finding herself enriched by an aroma of fresh honey, late spring flowers, and a comforting and homely dash of smoke. It is quite a gorgeous day, lush and alive and bright and she supposes that she is in rather good spirits all things considered. 

These days there aren’t many things to consider, it is both bizarre and comforting. Things aren’t so hectic and harsh out on the Earth Kingdom plains here with her bees and her Kei Lo. Granted, her Kei Lo can be a pain in the ass now and then–more so than the bees. 

She hadn’t ever imagined that she would, but she enjoys the quiet. Enjoys this idyllic lifestyle that no one had ever associated with her as tense and serious as she tends to be. 

With the bees safely out of the way, Azula begins carefully prying the frame free. The most stubborn of the bees stand their ground, latching themselves onto that frame. She picks up her bee brush and gives them a gentle sweep. In return they give her a few agitated buzzes before flying off to join the rest of the swarm. 

She sets that frame to the side for a moment and replaces it with a clean one for the bees to get to work on when they get back. Azula takes one more breath of fresh air before carrying that frame off to a well sealed shack; Agni knows that the bees will come for their honeycombs if she tries to tend to them in the open field. 

She double checks that the windows and door are shut before  sitting down cross legged, brandishing her uncapping knife, and scraping that waxy substance off of the top of the honeycomb.

She places that mesh into a separate container for later. A good many of her fellow beekeepers can’t be bothered–they say that there isn’t enough honey locked within that mesh for it to be worth the effort. Perhaps it is that she is very meticulous and thorough but she begs to differ. Every last drop is worth the effort and she likes to think that knowing so distinguishes her from the ordinary beekeepers. Likes to think that, that is part of why the honey she harvests is so cherished. 

Overall the extraction process is quite tedious as she often likes to forgo the hand cranked extractor tool altogether in favor of doing it manually, by her own hand. Sure it takes a good deal longer but honey harvesting is an art in its own right and a masterpiece takes time. It takes care. She can better assess that which she harvests.

She scrunches her brows and purses her lips in concentration, a little thing that Kei Lo says he finds endearing. She knows that he wants to call it cute, she can see that much in his eyes but she has long since forbade that adjective. 

Some fifteen minutes in Azula huffs and wipes her brow, smearing honey upon her forehead. She sighs, she would think that she would remember not to touch her face during the extraction process. She always ends up leaving herself a sticky, honey-slicked mess–the very cause for Kei Lo calling her ‘adorable’ for the first time.

It isn’t for another few hours that she emerges from what she has begun calling the honey house. Kei Lo is adamant that she should call it the honey hut . She rolls her eyes at the thought.

“How’re the bees today?” Kei Lo asks. 

“Azula is great, thank you.” She mutters. 

“I was going to ask how the Azula was doing next.” He promises. 

“The bees are fine.” 

“No stinging?”

“The bees never sting me. They like me.” 

“They like old lady Yoi too.” Kei Lo mentions. “The townsfolk say that it’s because she sings to the bees as she works with them and that’s why their honey tastes different.” 

“That’s fascinating but I’m not singing to bees.”

“You can tell them stories.” He suggests. “Bees like stories.”

“Oh do they?” She quirks a brow. 

“Sure! Everyone likes stories!”

He is so chipper and enthusiastic that she has to wonder how it was that he and Mai had got on so well before she left him to go back to Zuzu. A poor choice if Azula must say. “Help me bring the finished honey jars inside?”

“Sure thing.” Kei Lo smiles. 

She fixes him up with a good armful of honey jars. “We’ll have to package and decorate them, of course.” Aesthetics are just as important as the taste. They need to be pretty and eye catching, they need something that will set them apart from every other jar of honey in this tiny village. 

“What are you thinking for this batch?”

Azula hums to herself. “For this one we will do the usual, a cloth cover for the lid with a golden bow and a few beads with the Fire Nation insignia…” she trails off. She has bigger plans for the next batch. Plans that she must begin on promptly. “Last time I was in Senlin Village I came by a glass blower. I should like to give that a try.”

“Interesting choice.”

“Exactly.” She replies. “As a firebender I have a unique advantage. I can craft my own jars without having to fuss over pricey equipment and equipment upkeep.” She supposes that that isn’t entirely true–equipment upkeep for her simply looks different, it looks like keeping her person in good health and firebending shape. But self care is routine anyhow, and much easier now that she isn’t on edge constantly. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a really good idea.” He sets the jars down on the table. 

“I know.” 

He gives her one of those looks. 

She sighs, “thank you.”

And he is smiling again. “See, was that so hard?”

“It was absolutely excruciating.”

Kei Lo chuckles. “You’ll get used to it.” 

She shrugs. “Perhaps.” And she pauses. “I think that we’ll have enough left over this time  to perhaps make a treat for ourselves. Are you in the mood for honey granola? Honey apple pie? Honey lemon pie? Something else?” She taps her pointer to her lips as she ponders her options. 

“Honey lemon pie sounds adventurous.” Kei Lo replies. 

Azula hums to herself. Is she in an adventurous mood today? She guesses that she is. “Alright, honey lemon then.”

Chapter Text

Azula lays back, her hair fans out around her. The same breeze that rustles the dandelions tickles her face as it gusts over it. She puts her hands behind her head and under her hair. 

Cloud gazing–it has never crossed her mind to do it. 

At least not in the Fire Nation where there is no room for idle moments. 

She moves one arm, plucks a dandelion and twirls it in front of her face. She lets it fall from between her fingers and rests that hand upon her belly. She closes her eyes and drinks in the feeling of sunshine on her cheeks.

She hears Kei Lo shifting and shuffling next to her. He rolls onto his side, she pretends not to notice if only to get just one more moment of peace.

“Should we check on the pie?” He asks. 

Azula cracks an eye open, “hmmm?”

“The pie, should we check on it?”

“Right.” Azula sits up and stretches with a yawn. “Yes. The pie.” Looking at the way the sun casts the shadows it must be at least noon. She exhales, since when has she become so unconcerned and languid? It could be good for her, she supposes. After so many years of pushing herself. That is not to say that she has let herself grow complacent and outright lazy. At least she hopes that she hasn’t. 

She gets to her feet and dusts herself off. 

Decidedly tomorrow will be the day. She will begin seeking out someone to teach her the art of glassblowing while Kei Lo takes her honey to the market. She holds her hand out and helps Kei Lo to his feet. 

A vivid fragrance of lemon wafts about the entire house, it settles into the wood and works its way over the sofas and decorative pillows. A more subtle tinge of honey adds a sort of warmth to the aroma that reminds Azula that she is alright now. That things are okay.

That the worst moments of her life have finally come to a close. 

Life is kinder to her now and its kindness is extended through gentle scents and Kei Lo’s hand on her back. 

She ties her hair up and out of her face and fixes an apron around her waist. The one that Kei Lo bought her with the cream fabric and the embroidered buttercups. It isn’t quite her taste but it is practical enough and she can’t argue with practicality. 

The honey-lemon pie sits nice and cozy above a fire on a shelf in a stone alcove. She bends the fire away to nothing and kneels down to inspect pie. A rippling wave of heat greets her with a much more pungent honey-lemon perfume. She closes her eyes and inhales–it does her well, she thinks, to take these little moments to appreciate mundane pleasures. The ones that she had deprived herself of for much of her life. 

Part of her is thankful that she had.

She cherishes them with a greater profoundness. 

She slips a pair of mitts onto her hands and removes the pie from the oven. 

“It smells delicious.” Kei Lo observes. He stands behind her and takes her by the middle, presses a kiss to the side of her neck. 

“Yes it does, doesn’t it…” She trails off.

Sometimes her mind grows distant.

This time, as it is on occasions, she finds that her cheeks are a little damp.

“What’s wrong?”

She furrows her brows and shakes her head.

She wishes that she had an answer for him. 

He wipes one of those tears away with his thumb. And she roughly wipes the other away with the back of her hand. She isn’t sad, she has no reason to be. A lot of the time these days, when she cries it has nothing to do with being upset or stressed. 

A lot of the time these days, she is just emotional.

She cuts herself a little square of pie and samples it. Just slightly hotter than comfortably warm, it melts divinely on her tongue with a tangy burst that is both sweet and sour all at once. Honey and lemon in unison.

They are a bit like lemon and honey, she and Kei Lo. 

She turns around to meet his smile. The man cups her cheek. She swallows and her tummy tickles. And there it is, that thing that makes her want to cry. 

“You’re happy, aren’t you?” He says. 

She nods. 

And she realizes that it wasn’t a question at all, but a statement. 

An observation. 

She is happy and that is why she has been crying lately. She is crying because she doesn’t know how else to handle being happy and relatively care free.

Chapter Text

Senlin village isn’t terribly far from Miwu village. It is easiest to travel by cart or ostrich-horse but Azula can make the journey by foot. The sun is only just beginning to rise and it is already looking to be a rather fine day. Warm but not so much so as to be uncomfortable. It is indeed warm and early enough for her to be inclined to make the walk. 

Kei Lo announces his arrival with a yawn. “Seriously, why do you make me get up so early?”

She shrugs. “I don’t. I merely make the suggestion and you agree.” 

“Because I don’t want to hear you complaining about it later.”

“I don’t complain.” Azula insists. “I politely and persistently express my discontent on occasion.”

“That’s a really roundabout way of admitting that you like complaining about things.”

She shrugs again. “Well, at any rate, we ought to be up early today. We need to walk to Senlin today, remember?”

“I thought that we were going to the market to drop off this honey?”

“Yes, that why we are up so early.” She nods. “I have decided that I would like you to accompany me to find my glassblowing teacher. We can leave our honey with Baihe, I trust him to be able to sell it for us, it’ll attract some business for him to sell honey with his bread.”

“Wait, so we’re not taking the ostrich-horse cart? We’ve got a lot of crates here?”

“Yes, that’s true.” Azula taps her chin. “You can ride the ostrich-horse, I will walk alongside.” 

“Are you sure?”

Azula nods, “I enjoy long walks now and again. I don’t like when my legs start to get stiff, it’s rather unpleasant.” She hefts the first crate onto the cart, the glass jars rattle in their respective slots. Kei Lo stacks another on top and she one more on top of that one. 

She double checks all of the jars for cracks and the ostrich-horses for any injuries. “I believe that we are all set.” She dusts off her hands  and gestures for him to take his spot astride the ostrich-horse. 

They will be walking towards the sun whose golden rays fall across the field putting a flaming glow upon the dandelions in their yard and the buttercups in their garden. And they are off, just as the birds who are finally waking to begin their morning songs and routines. 

.oOo.

Old lady Yoi greets her with a bracelet clicking wave and a gap-toothed smile. “How are your bees?” She asks. “They treating you well?”

“Very well, thank you, Yoi.” Azula replies. 

“And what about Kei Lo?” She interrogates, jabbing a honey dipper at his ribs. “Is he being a dolt?”

“Kei Lo is just fine, no foolishness lately.” She pauses. “Rather, he has kept it to a minimum.”

The woman, appeased at last, lowers the honey dipper. 

Azula helps the old woman to the honey cart. “I thought that I’d let you get the first pick.” 

The woman’s eyes light up. “Yes, yes, thank you dear. You do make the best honey in Miwu!”

“Well of course.” Azula replies. “You are a respectable teacher. Perhaps we should make a batch of honey together as we did when I first moved here.” She offers. “I am headed to Senlin village to learn how to blow glass. We can form a partnership after I learn to make jars.”

Yoi picks her way through the jars and pulls one from the very middle of the middle most crate. 

“Always makes me work.” Kei Lo grumbles to himself as he sets the crate back down. 

“I would enjoy that very much.” Yoi pats Azula’s back as she passes. “My grandson will be out of town for the month–visiting family in Ba Sing Se. I could use some company. Stop by if the two of you get a chance.” 

“Of course!” Kei Lo flashes a grin. 

“We will have the chance.” Azula confirms. “Now that I’ve harvested all of this honey I will have plenty of free time.”

“Just give us a time and we’ll be there.” Kei Lo finishes binding the honey back to the cart. 

“Stop by on your way home from Senlin tonight?” 

“We can make that happen.” Azula agrees. “If you can have some of your honey tea and spring rolls waiting for us, that would be wonderful.” 

“I’ll have them fresh and ready!” Yoi promises. 

“We’ll see you then, old lady Yoi.” Kei Lo declares. “We’re off to give our honey to Baihe, he’ll be watching it for us if you want another jar.”

.oOo.

The woman in the doorway says that her name is Dao-Yan as she beckons Azula and Kei Lo inside. Her home smells of smoke, melted glass, and ginger. “It’s good to keep ginger around the house, keeps your nose sharp.” She mentions. “Go on, sit you down.” She gestures to two chairs. 

Kei Lo takes his immediately. Azula takes a moment to look around and pick out the furnace and the kiln. Along the wall are shelves and shelves of pipes. There are sheers, jacks, and tweezers–although these are larger than any tweezers she has ever seen–upon the work tables and many other tools that she doesn’t have a name for.

Dao-Yan looks her up and down. This is something that she has grown quite used to.“We don’t see many Fire Nationals in Senlin.” She remarks. And for it, firebenders are quite a spectacle when they do come by. 

“There aren’t many in Miwu either.” Azula replies. “Myself, Kei Lo, and a man who calls himself Ash Maker.” It had taken them quite some time to get used to seeing she and Kei Lo up and about.

“Ash Maker?” 

“On account of his enjoyment of setting fires just to see the ashes afterwards.” Kei Lo clarifies. 

“He is quite notorious.” Azula adds. “Mostly harmless.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you mostly harmless?”

“She’s about half harmless.” Kei Lo chuckles. 

Azula sniffs. “I cause substantially less damage around the house than Kei Lo.”  She watches the woman begin arranging the glass blowing tools. 

“So how is it that two Fire Nationals have come to a small village like Miwu?” 

“Things were getting overwhelming in Caldera City–not good for me…” She trails off. She still has the bags under her eyes but her skin has regained its color, she’s put on some weight, and her eyes have started to gleam again. Her head no longer beats incessantly. “I needed something quieter.” Some place where no one knows who she is. Some place where she can forget who she is when she needs to. 

The woman gives a nod. “Miwu and Senlin are good places for that.”

Azula makes herself comfortable at the table. 

“Now, we aren’t going to be doing any glass blowing today. I would like to go over all of the safety measures first.” She pauses for what she likely assumes will be a groan of disappointment. 

Instead Azula folds her hands atop her knee. “Naturally.”

At this, Dao-Yan smiles. “I will also be going over all of the tools with you.”

“I am curious about this one.” She gestures to a metal rod with a conical structure affixed. 

“Steam stick and puffer.” The woman answers. “The puffer can be used to expand the glass if you don’t fancy blowing into the pipe. The steam stick can be used similarly–when used with water the steam will help expand the glass. We will get into that.”

“Right, yes. Carry on.” Azula replies. 

Glass blowing safety, of course, is common sense but she lets the woman walk her though it just in case there are any tidbits that might not occur to a beginner.  It is when she begins talking about the tools that Azula’s full attentiveness resumes. 

“The pipes, if I had to say, are the most crucial glass blowing tools, they are used to gather the molten glass and blow into it. You also have your marvers–this one is a brass one but you can also use steel–it is used to shape the glass.”

Azula can memorize this well enough but she scribbles a few notes just in case. 

“The jacks will help you shape the side walls of the glass and the shears, you probably already know, cut and constrict it. You might not know what the pontil is though.”

“I do not.” Azula confirms.

“It is another sort of rod.” She holds it up. “You attach it to the base after the glass is taken off of the initial pipe and you can use it to attach other pieces to the glass. And, finally, the tweezers. These also help with the transfer from the pipe to the pontil.”

Azula puts her pencil down. 

“Does everything make sense to you?”

“Perfect sense.” Azula confirms. 

“So, are you going to show us some glass blowing?” Kei Lo asks?

“Well that depends.” She turns to Azula. “Are you a visual learner or do you prefer vocal instruction first?”

“Vocal instructions, please.” Azula answers, coaxing a groan from Kei Lo. 

“The first step is to test the pipe for obstructions by blowing into it. And then…” she gestures for Azula to follow. “You take it to this furnace over here–it is important not to get it confused with the larger one. And you put just the tip of the pipe in to heat it up.”

“Could I, instead, use firebending?”

“Right, yes!” Dao-Yan beams. “I am not used to teaching firebenders. I suppose that you could use firebending, unless you want to try to do it the traditional Earth Kingdom way first.”

Azula hums, the entire point is to learn a new skill. But she also fancies the prospect of learning another way to use her firebending, to reshape it from a weapon to something more delightful. Something kinder, a hobby. “I would like to learn the traditional way so that I can have options.”

“Wonderful.” The woman nods. “Now, keep in mind that when you heat it up, at this stage, you don’t want the pipe to be too hot. You heat it until it just starts to turn red. If it’s absolutely radiant then it’s too hot! Then you’ll go to the main furnace over here, stick the rod into the cubical, and rotate it for an even gathering of glass. You’ll want to keep it rotating at all times to avoid sagging. Keep the rod horizontal and…”

“At waist level.” Azula fills in with what she has learned in their safety lecture. Although she knows a few people who could use a good whack in the head with a smoldering pipe. 

“And then you can begin blowing through the pipe. Past incidents oblige me to emphasize that you are supposed to blow on the cool end of the pipe.”

“I wish I could say that I didn’t know people who would try from the hot end.” 

Next to her, Kei Lo gives a sheepish and dopey smile. Azula rolls her eyes. 

“I will show you how to shape the glass during our visual example. Mostly you will be working with the marvel and the sheers. Or you can do so with a lot of soaked parchment paper.”  The woman continues to explain the process of reheating if need be and how to use the kiln. It all seems so simple, probably deceptively so.

She finds herself itching to get watch a glass bulb of her own creation bloom colorfully to life. And eventually she will have her colorful honey jars. 

“Follow me and I’ll walk you through it a second time while making a globe.” 

Kei Lo takes her hand and lets her rest her head on his shoulder as they watch Dao-Yan breathe life into a glass orb. She sprinkles orange powder over the bubble and mentions, “you can use powder, frits, or add small chips of colored glass to color your bulb. Power is good for making colorful streaks.”

And the result is stunning. The woman’s hands are more than expert. She is an earthbender who will hold glass fire in her hands. This, Azula believes, is an artful reminder of how it looks when all of the elements come together–the earth of glass, the fire of the furnace, the air of the puffer, and the water that helps make shaping possible. 

It is the very harmony that the Avatar liked to talk of. All in just one fist sized glass bulb. 

It is the very harmony that Azula needs.

She just hopes that the skill will come as naturally to her as firebending did, unlike beekeeping. Should she be so lucky, she will care for her bees and tend to glass. She will create sweet things and she will create beautiful things. 

Her fire will be cherished not feared.

Chapter Text

Kei Lo likes watching the flowers bloom. He has a flower chart, when the weather is nice he lays in the field and sketches them onto a notepad in perfect detail. He labels the sketches. He can’t bring himself to pluck them from their stems–he doesn’t want to be the one to kill beauty. So he lowers himself to their level when he wishes to sniff them. He rubs their petals and cherishes their colors. Once upon a time he had wanted to make perfumes.

Naturally, springtime has come to be his most adored time of the year. It is a season of change and growth. He likes watching leaves burst onto trees, the grass begin to green, and flowers pop up all over the fields–it seems to happen over night. One minute everything is dead and drab and then come morning and suddenly it is all vibrance and brightness as though the dreary had never been at all. 

Most of all he enjoys seeing Azula bloom. Bloom, flourish, and thrive. But her change has taken many seasons. An almost agonizingly gradual process.

One that he still finds himself witnessing.

Watching her work is rather incredible. Even if her hands are completely unpracticed. It is the determination in her eyes, the reflection of molten glass and her fire in them. It is the crinkle on her forehead with the concentrating creasing of her brows. It is the way she presses her lips firmly together and mutters softly to herself.  

He watches her tuck strands of her hair behind her ears and take a deep breath. She has already figured out how to shape the molten glass around the pipe without it drooping or sagging. The first three or four had been misshapen or globby.

This one, as she blows into the pipe, seems to be coming along well–it is smooth and round as bubbles are. She sits back and observes her work. “I finally got one, Kei Lo.” She flashes him one of her cheerful self satisfied smiles. 

The one that makes it hard to picture the girl he’d first met. The miserable, confused girl wearing Kemurikage robes who had held him by the collar with fire in her hands while telling Mai that she had downgraded in choosing to love him.

That same fire reheats the cooling glass.

“What are you going to do with it?” 

Azula hums. “I suppose that I will try to add some color.” She looks over to Dao-Yan.

“It is your art.” The woman looks up from her own work, a little glass lamp. “You decide what you want to do with it.”

Azula clears her throat. “Right, yes. My art.”

.oOo.

It isn’t as technical as beekeeping to create something. The bees have always been there; beekeeping has always been a concept. It is something with an established framework and a set of rules. 

But this.

This is her own to establish.

There are a few rules; the groundwork needed to keep the glass from shattering. But she has gotten past the most rule oriented phase of this project. Of course she still needs to follow these rules to keep her art in tact but now she has to begin making the art into art. 

She has to add her own creative touches and flairs. She has to make this thing that she has created her own. 

And this is where she is at a loss. 

There is only so much that she can do with a small glass orb. 

And what can she do that hasn’t been done already?

Perhaps a touch of lightning? 

But no, that doesn’t work, the globe is still affixed to a metal pole. 

“Don’t overthink it.” Dao-Yan cautions, as though that advice has ever been of any use to her. “This is your first globe, the goal isn’t to make it perfect. The goal is to simply have it made and finished. After that you can start getting fancy.”

“Just finish it.” Azula murmurs. She glances at Kei Lo. 

“I think that you can do that.” He shrugs. “Technically you already have unless you want to add embellishments.”

“I do.” She says. She picks up some of the colorful powder that Dao-Yan has set out for her. Teal, blue, and a darker shade of blue are her choice colors. It has been quite some time since she has seen blue fire. She decides that she can settle on seeing it on a glass orb. 

With careful fingers, she sprinkles the powder into wavy curling tongues of flame. She hopes that it will turn out as intended by the time it comes out of the kiln. All the while a separate part of her hopes that it will not. 

She is learning to take life in strides. 

Learning to take spontaneity with greater appreciation and less apprehension. 

She watches Dao-Yan deposit her lamp into the kiln and mimics the motions and then finds herself a spot in Kei Lo’s lap. She sits proud and tall, full intending on being there until the glass is done. 

“This process will take awhile.” Dao-Yan mentions. “Come back tomorrow and it will be ready for you.” 

“Alright.” Azula replies. Admittedly she had been hoping to see how it turned out tonight. She very nearly asks if there is any way that the woman could make the process go by faster. Instead she adds. “We will be here at noon exactly.”

“Noon exactly.” Dao-Yan agrees.

With those parting words, she and Kei Lo are back on the streets. “It’s nice.” Azula muses. 

“What is?”

She shrugs. “Making things, I just hope that it turns out as I had planned.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Kei Lo quirks a brow.

“Then…” she clears her throat. “I’m just learning and I can make a better one next time.”

“Or maybe you can look at the one you made and realize that, even if it isn’t how you envisioned it that it might be just as amazing or better.” 

Azula nods.

Just as amazing or better…

Her life, she thinks, is a lot better. 

Sometimes she has to say it to herself. Not because she is still at a point in her life where these reminders are crucial to her well-being. Rather, she has to cherish it–appreciate it in a way contrary to how she viewed everything in her old life.

Those things that she had loved and hadn’t thought to relish until she had lost them. 

She won’t lose Kei Lo. 

She won’t lose this life. 

She can’t.

It would break her and she doesn’t think that she could be repaired this time if it did. 

“You won’t leave me, will you?” She has to ask every now and again. She dreads that one day he will say that the constant asking has in fact led him to leave. She squeezes his hand. 

He slows their walking to a halt. “I won’t leave you.” He assures her as her sweeps a curtain of her hair aside. “I promise that I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“But what if…”

He touches his pointer to her lips. “You do realize that we have already been through almost all of everyone else’s what if’s, right? ‘What if you see the worst of me?’ ‘What if people don’t like that we’re together?’ ‘What if I say something that hurts you?’ ‘What if you get tired of having to do this or that?’ We’ve already gotten through all of those things, remember?”

She does. “I am very good at coming up with more.” 

Kei Lo chuckles. “Yeah, I noticed that.” He stokes her cheek. “Things have been really peaceful lately, we got our little dream house, we have our bees, you’re making friends.”

She thinks that, that might be a bit of a stretch. She has customers and people who talk to her in passing–the ones that wave to her from across the street and ask her how she is doing. Aside from maybe old lady Yoi, she mostly she keeps to herself.

“Exactly!” She says. “Something has to go wrong soon, it has been too long.” 

Again he chuckles but he doesn’t tell her to just stop. He knows well that it’s just in her nature at this point, to fret and worry when things are going too well. “Of course something will go wrong it’s not just…”

“It can’t be all good all the time.” She mumbles. “I know. I just…what if one day the bad thing is too much to handle?”

“I don’t think that it can get much worse than kidnapping children and trying to, what? Overthrow your brother.”

Azula shrugs. “I don’t really remember. It’s kind of…” she wasn’t exactly all there. She would wager that most of her was absent at that point in her life. “It wasn’t my best idea.” She finally admits. And it still makes her cheeks hot to think about. It is no wonder no one in from her old life wants to talk to her anymore. She clutches Kei Lo’s hand tighter still. She doesn’t know why she is doing this again, after such a good day. 

And maybe this is it. 

Maybe it has already begun. 

The bad things. 

“You were hurt, Azula.” He replies. And she hurt people. “That’s over now.” The stroking of his thumb stills. “You’re okay now. Right.” 

Azula nods again. “Yes. Yes I’m alright. I just…sometimes I need to remember that.” 

He lowers his hand from her face and slings that arm around her waist, pulling closer. “The sushi place across the street is still open, do you want to give it a try?”

She hadn’t exactly planned on stopping for sushi. 

She hadn’t exactly planned a lot of things. 

“Yes, we can give it a try.” 

She might not be all that fond of sushi, but she does enjoy the way Kei Lo’s eyes light up. The gentle and enthusiastic smile that brightens his face. She likes to know that she can make someone smile. 

“But we can’t take too long, I haven’t checked on the bees today.” 

“We can be quick.” He laughs. 

Azula loves three things; molten glass, her bees, and Kei Lo. When she has these things and Kei Lo she doesn’t feel broken or lost. When she has them, she feels like she has had some degree of success in her life. 

And she remembers that she really wouldn’t want to change a thing. 

She is okay. 

Perhaps she won’t be in the future. 

Be she is now and she will be again.

Chapter Text

Azula finds that she is quite a natural at this glass blowing thing it comes to her much more easily than baking and gardening had. She thinks that it does her well to make the daily walk from Miwu to Senlin. She and Kei Lo can truly focus on each other without the hum of bees to distract the. She feels like she has found out more about him during these walks that she had when they had been trying to push each other for information. And when she is alone it gives her time to think and to process. 

Sometimes she finds herself thinking of nothing at all. 

Sometimes it is just warm sunlight on her skin and the smell of the plains grasses. She likes this most of all. 

Today Kei Lo hadn’t come with her, but he is waiting for her at their little shop. It isn’t anything fancy by any means, it is more or less a closet at the end of an alleyway but it is a shop no less. It is better than just selling honey straight from the ostrich-horse cart. It is more professional, more concrete. 

She arranges her newest jars onto the shelves. Today she has come back with six bright orange ones spotted with flakes of red and chips of gold–phoenix jars is what she has decided to name them. And the honey looks incredible, held within. 

She also has a new style, one that she has yet to name. These jars are a touch more adventurous, where the phoenix jars are smooth all around, these jars have little bumps like the undulation of waves. Perhaps that is what she will call them, the ocean jars. When filled with honey the blue glass appears almost green. 

“What do you think?”

“They’re great, Azula.” Kei Lo smiles. 

And she returns it, thoroughly pleased with her work. She arranges a few empty jars on the shelf to be purchased without the honey alongside a few jars of honey in traditional clear glass. “I was thinking of perhaps selling blown glass creations, Dao-Yan and I are working on teaching me how to make shapes like cubes and flowers…” 

“I think that, that would be great.” Kei Lo replies. “Maybe I can sell some of my sketches.” He passes his sketch pad to her and she riffles through the pages. Mostly he has been honeycombs and bees but he is still sketching and labeling his flowers.

“You want to sell these?” She furrows her brows. 

“Not these ones but maybe copies of them. I’d redraw a few and sell those. Make some new art.” 

“Perhaps we could use some of your sketches as labels or tags on a few of the honey jars.” She ponders. 

“That’s an idea.” He agrees. 

“I was thinking of investing in an at home glass blowing studio.” She finally says. “I feel like it would be a more immersive experience. To see how the jars are made, to show authenticity.” And to give Miwu a taste of Fire Nation culture. 

The culture that she finds herself missing every now and again. 

“That sounds like a really good plan.” He finally looks up from his sketch pad and frowns. “What’s wrong?” 

She shrugs. She thinks that she might be a little homesick. “Do you ever think about going back to the Fire Nation?” She finds herself fidgeting with the strings on her apron. “Not staying there but visiting.” For as much as she finds herself toying with the idea, she also finds it hard to consider it realistically. She isn’t sure that she is ready to see how it has changed–how it has moved on without her. 

How it might be doing better now that she is gone. 

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it.” He replies. “Why?”

Azula exhales. “Perhaps once we get settled into this new shop we can take a vacation.” The word is foreign on her tongue. It almost seems silly–compared to her life in the Fire Nation this, all of this, is a vacation. 

“Did you make these?”

Kei Lo jumps and Azula chuckles. “You didn’t see her walk in?”

Kei Lo rubs the back of his head. “I tend to miss a lot of things…” his face lights up with a mischievous smirk. “It’s a little  hard to pay attention to anything else when I’m looking at you.”

She puffs her flushed cheeks up and gives him a little swat. “Stop goofing around, we have customers.” 

“A customer.” Kei Lo corrects. 

Azula heaves herself away from the counter she had propped herself up against. “I did make those, yes.” She declares with a notable degree of pride. 

“They’re very pretty.” 

“Thank you. I heat the glass by hand, I like to think that it sets my work apart from other glasswork.” She hopes that she isn’t off-puttingly overselling herself.

The woman runs her fingers over the glass. “How much?”

“That depends on the size you’d like. And do you want a jar of honey or just the jar?”

.oOo.

Azula wipes down the last of the counters and finds herself a seat on one of several stools. She gives a little yawn and rests her cheek against her hand. She grows tired at around nine at night, he knows this about her. “I’m not going to have to carry you home again, am I?” Kei Lo tosses a look over his shoulder as he flips the sign on the door, declaring once and for all that they are closed. 

He feels the doorknob twist in his grasp. And it, much to the alarmed discontent of Azula, is yanked open.

“Apologies.” The man grins. “I meant to stop in a bit earlier. But it would seem that the both of us close shop at around the same time.”

Azula, tiredness, at least for the moment, shaken from her stare and posture rises from the stool. “Then you should have an understanding of what a closed sign indicates. Of course, anyone with any degree of sense could probably deduce…”

“I’m sorry!” Kei Lo cuts in. “She starts to get a little cranky at the end of the day.”

“I get a little cranky when people lack respect.” 

He watches the man prowl about the shop, running his fingers over the newly polished and cleaned glass of the windows and jars. His eyes scan the shop with what Kei Lo can only call dissatisfaction.

“Can we get you anything? We just got some new…”

“We shouldn’t.” She crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Well actually I was just hoping to introduce myself to the both of you.”

“Yes.” Azula drawls, her voice dripping with thinly veiled annoyance. “Please tell me who you think you are.”

Kei Lo squeezes her arm. But the man before them looks entirely nonplussed. “My name is Michiaki”

“Right. Well, Michiaki, I suggest that you leave my shop.”

“Come on, be nice.” 

“Nice!? He saw that we were closing and he rudely…” She trails off. “I just cleaned all of that and now I’m going to have to do it again.” 

“Apologies.” Michiaki chuckles. “I should be more mindful of people who work hard. I wouldn’t want to make things harder for people who are already dealing with trying times.”

“Trying times?” Kei Lo scrunches his brows. “We’re actually doing quite well. We just…”

“Oh, I know.” The man says. “It’s a nice little space that you’ve managed to get yourselves.” He pauses. “I was under the impression that landowners only sold to Earth Kingdom business owners.” His careless hand pushes a jar from the shelf with just enough of a response to make Kei Lo wonder if it truly had been on purpose. Azula catches it before it can hit the floor. “But then we live in a changing world. A lot of the people who helped divide the four nations have been put in their places.” 

“Indeed.” Azula mutters. She rubs the jar clean and puts it back in place. 

“You don’t think that we have a right to this store?” Kei Lo guesses.

“Oh no!” Michiaki sputters. “No, don’t misunderstand. It was but a simple observation. It is refreshing to see the nations beginning to come together.” He rubs his hands over his face. “I suppose that I was being rather cryptic.” 

Azula sniffs. 

“Truthfully, I am here to check out my competition. I visited this old lady during my lunch break. Whacky character, that one.” He snickers. 

“Old Lady Yoi makes fine honey.” Azula finishes re-washing the last glass. 

“I never said that she didn’t. Just that she is a little bizarre.” He shrugs. “I’ve never met a beekeeper who was also a glassblower. Very interesting choice.” 

“People can have several hobbies.” Azula gestures towards the door. “Perhaps if you found another, you would have less time to impede on my time.”

“What she means to say is, ‘thanks for stopping in, but can we talk when I’m not trying to close’. She’s still working on the whole be nice to people thing.” 

“I can tell.” Michiaki laughs. “Look, I’m sorry to have intruded. I should have waited until morning but I was…intrigued.”

“That’s alright.” Kei Lo smiles. “Feel free to stop by tomorrow morning. You can sample our honey.”

The man nods. “Tomorrow morning then.” 

He waits until the door closes to turn to Azula. “Azula, what was that? The man was…”

“Suspicious. I don’t like him.” Azula cuts in. “I…I’ve seen his type around the palace. He didn’t come here just to be friendly. And you’re naive if you think so.” 

“Or maybe you’re still not used to getting so much attention.” Kei Lo suggests softly. “We’ve only just started getting a larger influx of buyers. Lots of new faces.”

“I’m not crazy, Kei Lo!” 

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know what I’m talking about. I’m not being paranoid, I’m not overthinking.”

Kei Lo sighs. When she is in this mood, there’s really no arguing. 

She speaks up again, “I…I think that I know him. I just can’t recall where from.”

Chapter Text

Azula sits in the garden letting the bees swarm about. They buzz past her head, sometimes they land upon her. She lets them crawl until they lose interest. And she watches them make work of the nearest flowers that they can find. The day is as peaceful and mundane as ever. And that is precisely the problem. 

Things have been going well, very well.

It makes her so jittery and anxious. 

Truthfully she has been waiting for the moment when everything would just come undone. All of the peace she has found for herself, all of the hard work, effort, and love that she has put into her bees, their honey, and the glass jars. It was bound to fall apart eventually just like everything else that she has ever worked for. 

Her downfall has a shape and that shape is human. 

Her downfall has a name and that name is Michiaki.

That man, that Michiaki,  whoever he is, has been lingering about for way too long. He is nothing but smiles and sunshine and Kei Lo likes him. He likes Michiaki and that is the first thread that fringes. All Michiaki has to do is pull and things will begin to come undone. Really, he doesn’t even have to pull. Azula is doing a good job of tugging for herself. 

“I just don’t understand why you won’t let me talk to him!” 

“I…I never said that you couldn’t.” Azula frowns. 

“No. But you always make it some big thing when I do.” Kei Lo huffs. 

“I don’t!”

“Oh? You don’t? Then why do I always see eye rolls and hear sighs whenever I let him browse our shop?”

“You can talk to who you want to converse with.” Azula sighs. Even if it makes her skin crawl and her stomach flutter with dread that she can’t seem to put into words that Kei Lo understands. 

“Yeah? Well I don’t feel like I can.” 

Azula grimaces. “You can talk to Michiaki. I don’t care.” Maybe if she repeats it to herself enough she can convince herself that the man is as harmless as he makes himself out to be. Maybe she can convince herself that she doesn’t think that Michiaki is trying to sabotage things between she and Kei Lo.

Kei Lo who gives her a sigh. “I can see it in your eyes that you’re not okay with it?” 

She rubs her hands over her face. “Then listen to my mouth, not my eyes! What do you want me to do, Kei Lo?” Apparently she can’t even pretend to be comfortable with him getting close to Michiaki. “I don’t have to like your stupid friends and you don’t have to like mine.” Not that she really has any. “You can talk to him, go on outings with him–I don’t care.”

“But, let me guess, you just don’t want me to talk to him around you.” 

“I’m going to visit Dao-Yan, I haven’t been to Senlin in over two weeks now. I want to show her some of my newer jars.”

Kei Lo groans. “So you’re just going to walk away and…”

“And you should let me. I’ll be back for dinner if you still want to have it with me.”

.oOo.

Of course he does. Of course he wants to have dinner with her. “Azula, wait!” But it is no good, he has already angered her…upset her? Sometimes it is hard to tell with her. But no, not this time. This time he knows that she is upset. 

Not just upset. 

Hurt. 

She has gotten so good at it, if he did say so himself, that sometimes he forgets that she struggles with people. With emotions. He is probably confusing the poor woman; he can’t force her to trust Michiaki.

He should have just settled for her tolerance. Right now it is the best she can do. 

He certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if she pretended to like Michiaki to his face only to harbor some secret resentment.

To sink back into a habit of passive-aggressive lies and a string of manipulations even if her intentions aren’t a sinister as they had been in the past. 

He had asked for her honesty and he has it in all of its bluntness. 

She doesn’t like Michiaki, she thinks that he is rude and invasive and she isn’t pretending otherwise. 

And he is fighting with her. 

His stomach sinks. They haven’t had a good fight in ages. Truth be told, he can’t remember the last time. And maybe that is why this petty bickering feels like an all out war. Maybe this is why the slam of the door sounds so explosive. 

They will have dinner and he will make sure that it is a nice one. 

.oOo.

The dinner table is set up when she arrives. Two plates and two sets of silverware with a cluster of pillar candles at the center with a sprinkle of daisies and clovers to make it all pretty. Kei Lo is no chef but his effort is worth something. 

She isn’t particularly the type to fawn over these sorts of things. And maybe she can chalk it up to today’s mood; to feeling like she has taken something perfectly good and made a mess of it with baseless suspicion and her usual high strung nature. 

She had been the one to walk away. 

Yet he is here waiting for her. And he meets her with vegetable soup from their own garden, a loaf of honey bread, and spiced komodo chicken meat. 

And she can’t quite fathom the why’s.

The truth of the matter is that they don’t fight. Not about profound, meaningful things anyhow and not often enough for her to be secure in that he won’t leave her over a disagreement when they do have a serious one.

And yet here he is sitting at the table, grinning and pleased with his work. He gestures for her to sit and she joins him at the table. Very quietly, but still she joins. Mostly he watches her jab at the chicken with her fork.

“Did I do a good job? I added extra spice just for you.”

Azula manages a smile. “It’s very good, Kei Lo.” And she would miss it very much if she let some silly disagreement come between them. 

“Great.” He smiles.

She clears. “So you don’t want to talk about this morning?” 

He shrugs. “There’s not much to talk about.”

“Our conversation went unfinished.” 

“I know that you don’t like leaving things that way.” He rubs the back of his head. “I know that I can’t force you to like Michiaki. But it would be great if you could pretend to, at least while he’s around.”

“I’m not going to pretend to like someone just to make them comfortable.”

He laughs. “I know. I guess that what I mean is, can you be cordial with him?”

“I am cordial!” 

“You told him that you were going to toss him into a vat of uncomfortably hot honey and toss him into our bee garden.” And for greater clarity he reminds her that this was because he had said that his honey tasted better than theirs ever could. 

“I just don’t understand how you can befriend a man who doesn’t even like our honey.”

“He didn’t say that it tasted bad, just that he thought that his honey is better.” Kei Lo shrugs. “Maybe he’s offended that you think that ours is better.” 

“It is.” Azula folds her arms across her chest. “Objectively so. The crowds we draw speak for themselves. He is still limited to selling from a cart.” 

Again Kei Lo chuckles. “And where did we start at? Correct me if I’m wrong but we just bought this shop.”

Azula simply sniffs and takes a bite from her slice of bread.  Rather she is about to when there comes a knock at the door. 

“I got it.” Kei Lo says. 

“It’s Michiaki.” Azula grumbles.

“I haven’t even answered the door.” 

“I am Michiaki!” Shouts the voice on the other side of said door. 

“Was I being loud or do we need to soundproof our house better?” Azula whispers. 

“I think that we should probably consider some soundproofing.” He squeezes her shoulder as he passes. “What can we help you with, Michia?”

“Oh you cute little nicknames now…” Azula mutters. 

“We do indeed, honeysuckle.” He kisses the top of her head as he returns to his seat and her cheeks flare. She distinctly recalls telling him never to call her anything but her false name, Hinayoko, when people are around. And never anything but Azula when they are in the company of people she used to know–not that she has to fret over that.

“This is the first time that you’ve called me honeysuckle and it will be the last.” 

He reaches across the table and ruffles her hair. “Trust me, Michiaki, she’s not so bad once you get to know her. “Anyways, what do you need?”

“Well, actually I was just hoping to join the two of you for dinner.” 

“We’re already in the middle of…”

“It’s fine.” Azula says with an exaggerated sigh. “He can join them for dinner. I’ll…deal with it.” She grits her teeth. 

“Are you sure?” Kei Lo asks.

She nods. “I haven’t really eaten much yet anyhow.”

“I could have sworn that you hated me?”

Azula shrugs. “I did.” She furrows her brows. “I do? Rather, I don’t trust you. But I suppose that I should give you a chance.”

The flood of joy and relief on Kei Lo’s face makes her own discomfort at least a little worthwhile. 

“You’re the best, Hina!”

Agni’s blood, the man even has a nickname for her disguise name. 

“Hina?” Michiaki asks. “That’s an Earth Kingdom name, isn’t it?”

“Hinayoko.” Azula replies. “Yoko is a Fire Nation name.” She clears her throat. “Plenty of Fire Nationals take an Earth Kingdom name when moving here.”

“I’m aware.” Michiaki states. “You just didn’t strike me as the type of person who would. You’re very, headstrong.” 

“And you’re very nosy.” She rebuttals. 

“Hina’s a reserved kind of person.” Kei Lo cuts in. “She likes to keep to herself, she doesn’t mean to be so prickly.”

“It’s actually rather intentional.”

“I can tell.” Michiaki helps himself to a slice of bread. 

Azula helps herself to a very drawn inhale. This is much less than comfortable but Kei Lo seems absolutely delighted. And she realizes that this is the first person who has ever shared a dinner with them. Sure, Yoi is a friend but they have never actually had company before. Not at their house anyhow. 

No wonder Kei Lo has taken so well to Michiaki; he is a lot more social than she. He probably gets lonely when she is off with Dao-Yan.

The two of them jest and laugh over a bowl of vegetable soup and she is content to simply listen to the conversation. Perhaps she doesn’t like Michiaki, but she can’t deny that hosting a guest doesn’t make her feel as though she might truly belong here in Miwu.

Chapter Text

It doesn’t last.

She should have known that it wouldn’t.

She did know–isn’t that why she had been so afraid and weary.

She still remembers it so vividly. As vividly as when it had first happened; Michiaki leaning and and whispering. “I know who you are, princess.” It still makes her shiver. “And I am going to ruin you.”

“For what?” She had asked with more bravado than she ought. 

“For using me. I had a perfectly good career as a Dai Li agent. Until you came about. I liked Long Feng. He was like a dad to me.” The man had said. “But I couldn’t really go against every single other agent. So I had to follow you.”

Azula remembers sniffing and telling him something akin to how he should have grown a pair and stood up for what he believed in. 

“What then?” He had asked. “Would you have let me stay a free man?” 

He knew the answer.

And she did.

“Well now you will know what it’s like.” He had vowed. “You’re going to help me make a name for myself or everyone is going to know your real one.”

Her stomach still lurches. She can’t name any other time when some had–for poetry’s sake–beaten her at her own game. 

He has something to hold over her head. 

He can ruin her.

He will.

With just one messenger hawk she could be deported back to the Fire Nation. Back to whatever her dear brother has in mind for her. He doesn’t even need a messenger hawk, just word of mouth. All he has to do is say her name to the right person. 

Rohime is known to engage in ruthless gossip. It would be him. He and his chatty wife who run the bakery down the block.

She could risk it, claim that Michiaki is delusional and that she has no idea what he is going on about. She is not naive, she knows well that they will take the word of an earthbender over a firebender’s.

And so her stomach sinks and her bright, peaceful world begins to darken just as she knew it would. 

Nobody is looking at her any differently yet. Nobody is glaring at her. Nobody has come to vandalize their shop. So maybe it is safe. Maybe her secret is still safe.

Kei Lo is glum these days; she knows that he blames himself. What’s more is the sense of betrayal. “I feel like an idiot.” He remarks again. “Why don’t you just say it already!?” He is yelling at her and she tries not to take it personally. 

Agni knows how many times she has yelled at him simply because she had been stressed and he had been in her line of sight.

He isn’t angry at her, she repeats to herself. He is angry at the situation, at himself.

At Michiaki.

“Say what?”

“That you were right and I was wrong!” He slaps his palms upon the tabletop. He bunches them into fists and clenches them. “Just say it, already and get it over with!”

“I wasn’t going to.” Azula mumbles. 

“But you want to!” He accuses.

She shakes her head. Truthfully she had been hoping that he would be the one to hand out the ‘told you so’s’. 

“You’re always right and I’m always wrong.” He continues to mutter. “I’m always wrong…everyone always says that.”

“I didn’t.” Azula replies quietly. 

For once in her life she hasn’t said anything to warrant getting scolded. 

“You did! You make me feel stupid all the time.” 

Azula flinches and grits her teeth. She feels sick. “I…how? When?” But there are many moments, in retrospect, that come to mind. Moments she hadn’t thought anything of at the time; when she’d snatched honey harvesting tools out of his hands, when she’d rolled her eyes and told ‘no, this is how you arrange the jars’...she has a way of making people feel dumb even when she isn’t trying to. “I’m doing it right now, aren’t I?” She mumbles. 

“Yes!”

She knows that he isn’t being fair. She doesn’t think that she deserves it this time around. Not entirely. But she lets him lay into her. Maybe that will make him feel better. “I’m going to go to Senlin.”

“You always do that.” He grumbles. “You always run away instead of talking things out and you wonder why you don’t get anywhere?”

She doesn’t want to cry tonight. 

Especially not during an argument.

Usually she is good at keeping it inside; Kei Lo has a special way of coaxing emotions out of her. 

“If we talk things out right now we’ll make them worse.”

Kei Lo sniffs. “That’s the problem–things settle down and then they don’t get brought up again until the next argument.”

So that’s what this is then, every grievance he’d ever had with her coming forth. But she has her own grievances. “Well then I hope that you’re ready to talk about how you’re a hypocrite.” 

“ I’m a hypocrite!?”

Azula nods. “You always complain about me taking my stress out on you. You do the same thing. I didn’t say a thing to you about your absolutely terrible decision to let Michiaki into our home.” Her voice is frostier than it has been in quite a long time.

“I knew it! I knew you were going to say it!” He declares. And she realizes that, like a fool, she had walked right into that. It is exactly what he wanted her to say.

This isn’t like any of their other arguments.

Not the more recent ones. 

No. This is more like their old arguments. 

The ones where Kei Lo told her that he hated her.

He had meant it too.