Chapter Text
Shoyo’s aware that people his age are dating and doing all sorts of mushy stuff. He thinks it’s nice and all, he even enjoys watching sappy dramas with his sister (but that was a secret between them), but he would have never guessed love was happening so close to him. More specifically, between his teammates.
He feels the gears inside his brain working harder, trying to process what he just saw. When he snaps out of his dumbfounded state, he looks at a spluttering Yamaguchi, who seems to be saying something to him in a hurried manner.
“Huh?” He mumbles, and hears Tsukishima curse behind the green-haired boy.
“We broke him. He’s now even dumber than he was before.”
“Hey! I’m not dumb!” He protests, finally coming to his senses. Then opens his mouth again to complain to his taller teammate when he realizes Yamaguchi looks like he’s going to have a heart attack.
And then he registers the words the other boy was saying while he was thinking about the k-drama he’s currently watching with Natsu, wondering if the protagonist will confess her feelings soon. Focus, Shoyo! Your friend’s panicking and you are thinking of useless stuff!
To recap, Shoyo was finishing up cleaning the gym after practice with Kageyama and rushed to the locker room, screaming that he would go ahead and change first, leaving his rival to close the gym by himself. He opened the door chuckling to himself since he could hear his screams from where he was standing when he realized that he wasn’t alone. Yamaguchi was against the lockers, looking flustered while Tsukishima was hovering over him, with his hands inside his shirt.
They were so close. Their hair was disheveled. They were both panting and blushing. Their lips were bright red and swollen.
Shoyo was kinda slow, but he was not that stupid to not realize what was happening. He opened his mouth and let out a tiny gasp.
What happened next was a bit blurry since he spaced out about love, romance and when will the main couple finally kiss anyway?
Wait. He’s losing focus again. Right! His teammates were making out and he walked in on them.
“What’s going on?” A too familiar voice resonates inside the room and Shoyo almost jumps to the ceiling. Kageyama looks at them with a confused expression and Tsukishima sighs, picks up his stuff and gives Yamaguchi a pat on the shoulder before exiting the room, passing by Kageyama and ignoring him.
“I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
Kageyama frowns and looks at the remaining people for answers. Yamaguchi looks like he’s about to pass out now, so Shoyo laughs nervously and looks up to the other boy.
“I was asking Yamaguchi for some serving tips!”
Kageyama hums softly, not looking entirely convinced and then nods, walking inside to change and pack his things. Yamaguchi physically deflates and looks at Shoyo with thankful eyes.
“I won’t tell anyone! Don’t worry!” He whispers to him and smiles reassuringly for good measure. Yamaguchi smiles back at him and nods, then sprints out the room to reunite with his… his boyfriend?
Shoyo feels his cheeks a little warm at the thought of his teammates being a couple. The thought doesn’t abandon him even when Kageyama asks him what’s bothering him on their walk back home. He makes up an excuse about his tummy hurting and the black-haired boy stops by Ukai’s store to buy him something warm.
“You didn’t need to do that, you know?” He grumbles when they resume their way back to their houses. He feels funny inside and wonders if he just jinxed a stomachache.
“It would be bad for the team if you got sick.” He shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant.
They walk in silence for a couple of minutes, but inside Shoyo’s head, it’s loud. He always thought that love was something wonderful, he enjoyed watching and reading love stories but never thought that it could happen to people he was close to.
I mean, it was going to happen eventually. It just caught me by surprise.
He thought about all the interactions he witnessed and based on his k-drama knowledge he could pinpoint some situations where the couple were definitely being affectionate. They were just discrete, and to their other club members they were close friends. But the looks Yamaguchi gave the taller boy were obvious, and the way Tsukishima would softer his tone when talking to the freckled boy were telling as well. It made sense.
How does love feel like?
The question pops inside his head before he can stop it. Does it feel dramatic and shocking like in movies? Non-stop thoughts about your significant other and stuff? That sounds kind of tiring. But it seems like it brings the best in people, at least in Tsukishima, that’s grumpy all the time except when he’s with Yamaguchi.
He arrives home still thinking about it. He doesn’t know why but he feels very curious, so he decides to call the only person he can ask these types of things.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Yamaguchi! I know I don’t usually call you, but I wanted to ask you something about… eh, what happened earlier.” He whispers even though he’s alone in his bedroom.
“S-Sure! I mean, you must be confused after what you saw.” He giggles nervously.
“How did you know you were in love?” He asks right away. He hears his friend hum on the other line and waits patiently for his answer.
“I guess it just made sense. I realized I cared differently for Tsukki than I do for my other friends.” He responds after a few seconds. Shoyo hums like he gets it. He doesn’t.
“But what does love feel like?” He presses.
“It feels nice…” He mutters, and Shoyo knows his friend is embarrassed from his tone of voice.
“Y-You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to! It must be embarrassing, I-I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!” He stutters and suddenly feels ashamed for putting Yamaguchi in such a position just because he caught him in a moment with his boyfriend.
“It’s ok! It’s actually relieving for me to talk about this! Not many people know about us, so I usually keep these things to myself,” He reassures, and Shoyo feels giddy inside, being one of the first people to know about their relationship, even if it was by mistake. “It feels… warm? If that makes sense. Like, you know there’s someone always there for you. You feel cared for.” Yamaguchi remains in silence for a few seconds while deep in thought and then ends his explanation with “It's different for everybody, but for me, being with him makes me want to be better.”
Shoyo feels his eyes glossy and quickly blinks the tears away. Stop being sappy.
“That sounds great…” He whispers, feeling himself smile. “I’m glad you guys are happy. Thank you for telling me this!”
“Anytime! Also, I’m here if you ever wanna share something embarrassing.” He chuckles. Shoyo laughs and admits that he needs help with an assignment. They quickly divert from the initial subject, but Shoyo knows that his curiosity isn’t sated.
Later that night, he finds himself wondering about the same thing. And it’s funny because the only thing he can compare it to is his love for volleyball. He feels confident and hopeful inside the court and gets a great feeling all over his body when he spikes.
He knows it’s not the same type of love, but it’s the closest to Yamaguchi’s description he’s ever felt.
He knows people his age are starting to feel things for others and are exploring with dates and all that romantic stuff. And he felt content watching from afar, basking in other’s happiness, like he just did with Yamaguchi. But deep inside he craves to know what’s that like. Does it feel better than playing volleyball? He doubts it, but Hinata Shoyo is nothing but an overachiever, that wants to try things constantly.
And he knows that once his interest is stirred by something, it won’t let go. He wants to know what it feels like!
He tries to think about himself with someone in a romantic situation. It’s a weird thought since the only time he would allow himself to think about those things he wasn’t involved in the situation. He tries to imagine a pretty girl, shorter than him, holding his hand and smiling at him. That's a pretty standard scenario to begin with.
He tries and tries but his imagination gets the best of him, and the girls transforms into a blob of abstract thoughts. The situation too foreign for his mind to form a convincible or appealing person. Also, the girl keeps getting taller than him for some reason.
“Oh man…” He mutters, frustrated that he can’t even form a hypothetical situation.
Huffing in annoyance he decides that he needs to try it in real life to at least have some idea of what that feels like. That’s how he got into volleyball after all! He tried it after watching the Little Giant playing and found himself absorbed by the sport.
He makes up a plan: He will try three different sets of romantic moments and check if love feels as great as everyone tells him.
The only problem is that he needs someone to test these moments. And the thought of asking out a girl makes him want to throw himself out of a building. He knows he’s a nervous wreck and would probably make a fool out of himself before he can muster up the courage to even say the words. Besides, he doesn’t like any girl in his class. Or any other classes.
He considers Kiyoko or Yachi, being the only two girls that are relatively close to him, but it feels off-putting. They’re beautiful and nice, but he doesn’t like them like that. And Tanaka and Noya would probably murder him if he even tried asking out Kiyoko, even if it’s for an experiment.
He whines and thrashes in his bedsheets. He tries to think of someone that could fulfill the role that Yamaguchi described. Someone that cares for him, someone that makes him want to be better.
Instantly, Kageyama’s annoyed face pops inside his mind.
He shrieks at the thought. Kageyama? He’s his rival! Well, and teammate, and friend…
After he feels his heart calm down, he thinks about the prospect of Kageyama being his project buddy. It’s not like I would be dating him, it’s an experiment! To see what’s the fuss's all about.
Still! It’s Kageyama! He would probably be disgusted and would call me a dumbass like he always does!
It’s not like Kageyama’s homophobic or anything, but if Shoyo’s clueless about love, Kageyama is doomed. Despite being popular with girls he didn’t seem to be interested in dating or even being close to a girl. In general, Kageyama didn’t seem interested in romance at all. Not even romance in fiction.
Wait, that’s it! If he’s not interested in love, he’s the perfect subject! If Kageyama doesn’t care about romance, then they can keep it platonic and Shoyo won’t have to ask someone out just for a project! Besides, that would be cruel, if he didn’t mean a confession. And explaining the plan to someone would make him seem like a crazy or heartless person. Which he isn’t! He’s just curious.
.
The next day Shoyo explains the plan to Kageyama on their daily walk home after practice, the other boy looks at him like he grew a second head, even though he omitted the i-want-you-to-be-my-experiment-buddy part.
“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever come up with.”
“Hey! It’s not dumb! You sound like Tsukishima.” He complains “I’m telling you because I want you to be part of it.” He feels jittery all the sudden, his heart beating like crazy.
“Huh?” His face contorts into a disgusted expression, and Shoyo kind of saw it coming but disappointment hits him harder than he expected “I’m not helping you find a girlfriend!”
“What?” He screams “I don’t want a girlfriend! I want you!” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels his heart almost leap out of his chest “No! Wait! I meant I want you to help me with this! Platonically!”
When the taller boy doesn’t respond, Shoyo continues his reasoning.
“It has to be you! I don’t want to confess to someone just because I want to try my plan out, that would be mean. Besides, you aren’t even interested in love, or dating, so we don’t have anything to lose!” He rambles, a mix of excitement and embarrassment flooding him.
Kageyama looks puzzled, his face getting redder by the second. And Shoyo regrets bringing up the idea to him all of the sudden. Of course he’s going to think I’m insane! This was a bad idea!
“You want to pretend to date me so you can figure out what love feels like?” He asks, tentatively. Shoyo nods, suddenly feeling shy “Why?”
“Why not? Everyone always says it feels great! And that it makes you a better version of yourself!” He answers, smiling a little at the thought. Shoyo loves the idea of self-improvement, that’s part of the reason he’s so obsessed with volleyball. How can he miss an opportunity for growth?
Kageyama seems to think about it for a few seconds before he grumbles something under his breath.
“What? I didn’t catch that.” He comes closer to the taller boy, whose face is scarlet and seems to be shaking a little.
“I said I will do it, dumbass!” He yells, startling Shoyo, but instead of initiating the usual bickering, his face contorts into one of his signature sunshine smiles.
“Great! Let’s start now!”
He takes Kageyama’s hand in his without much thought. He notices it's bigger than his, calloused after many hours of practicing and setting, warm and a little clammy. They remain in silence for a few seconds, not really knowing how to feel about the sudden closeness.
“Your hand’s freaking cold.” Kageyama breaks the awkward silence after a moment and Shoyo feels all the tension accumulated leave his body. He remembers who’s with him and laughs freely.
They resume their walk and Shoyo feels like maybe this wasn’t a bad idea. That Kageyama is the only one that he would feel comfortable doing these things without it being weird. He smiles at him and intertwines their fingers.