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it was difficult for jungkook to be comfortable feeling… small around anyone but yoongi.
with yoongi, he could seek him out in his quiet, isolated studio, sitting on his lap or cuddling on the loveseat, sipping milk that yoongi kept in the fridge under his desk or eating packets of rice crackers kept in one of the drawers. yoongi would let him be quiet when he needed to be, or set him up with a colorful show on a tablet, or whisper small comforts into his ear after a tough day.
yoongi knew him best. he knew how he was when he was little, he knew how he was when he was big, and at all times, he always knew exactly what jungkook needed.
he felt in his own little world with yoongi in the studio; it was soft and protected and let him have one of his bestest hyungs to keep him company.
when they moved out of their tiny dorm and got their very own rooms, however, he kept slipping, and not in the safe confines of the genius lab. it was always when he was alone in his bedroom, which was better than just dropping all at once in the middle of the kitchen, but now that they all had the ability to be alone in the dorm, they were alone a lot.
which meant jungkook kept slipping. often.
he hadn’t realized how hard he had to try to be big-jungkook around his hyungs, how hard he had to force himself to be big because being little didn’t feel like an option. it didn’t matter how comfortable he felt with them literally every other time. it was different. being little was a very-very-very big thing for big-jungkook.
yoongi found him like that sometimes, either when he came home and wanted to check in on him or when he hadn’t seen him in a while. he always went so soft when he saw jungkook’s innocent eyes go even wider than usual as soon as he spotted him - but the question always became how long had be been like that? how long had his little jungkookie been all alone? his baby might be introverted, but that didn’t mean being lonely was a good thing, especially not when he was so vulnerable.
jungkook wasn’t helpless, not at all. but - yoongi wanted to make sure that even if he was, he’d have everything taken care of by someone who cared for him.
he’d take care of jungkook when he found him like that, always, no matter how many long days they had in a row or how many projects he’d brought home with him even though all his other hyungs tried to get him to rest instead. he’d snuggle with jungkook and tell him stories and praise the messy coloring he’d done in one of the books yoongi had snuck in his room.
he clearly didn’t begrudge jungkook any affection when he was able to give it. but the problem was that he wasn’t always there.
yoongi had floated the idea to him a couple times: do you want to sit with your other hyungs, hm? jiminie and hobah are home, would it be nice to give them some cuddles? jungkook, inevitably and unsurprisingly, would shy away. no matter how much yoongi wanted to fix the problem, especially when the fix was so, so close, he would never betray jungkook’s secret or violate his will or do anything that would hurt him. unofficial caregiver or not, that wasn’t his right.
but it meant that now: jungkook was alone.
yoongi had a loaded schedule, jungkook knew, and wouldn’t be home for hours. he wouldn’t try to pull him away from normal things unless he really-really-really needed to, and he’d seen his schedule on the shared calendar and knew that yoongi wouldn’t have been able to come home even if he wanted to.
that didn’t mean jungkook didn’t feel lonelier than he’d ever felt at that moment.
he squeezed his bunny as he listened through a crack in his door. jin was home, he could hear him yelling at his game but not at jungkook and that was good. he thought taehyung might be home as well, but was tucked away in his own room and jungkook couldn’t even imagine tapping on any door that wasn’t yoongi’s.
loneliness bubbled up in his chest threateningly. with a shaky breath and a silent order to tokki that it was time to be very-very-very brave, he wandered out into the hall.
he hovered at the end of it as he peeked into the living room. jin was on the couch with a controller in his hand and some game that maybe big-jungkook would understand but little-jungkook didn’t even want to try.
he looked busy, jungkook thought. he looked like he didn’t want to be bothered. he should definitely-definitely just turn around and go back to his room and maybe hide under his bed until yoongi-hyung came home and—
“kook-ah?”
jungkook froze, not quite meeting jin’s eyes. he shifted worriedly before pointing to the couch beside him.
jin furrowed his brows when he didn’t speak, but jungkook thought it was maybe confusion and not because he was annoyed. jungkook could handle anything but annoyed. “do you want to sit with hyung?”
jungkook nodded quickly and rushed to sit beside him before he could maybe change his mind. he curled in on himself, tokki still clutched to his chest. he wasn’t touching jin, even though he wanted to. this was safe. this was better. being in the same room as his jin-hyung without cuddling or talking or making him realize something wasn’t quite right was much-much more right than hiding under the bed.
he couldn’t stop himself from slowly getting closer and closer, though, inching the tiniest bit every other minute. those inches got a bit bigger when jin stopped yelling so much; jungkook hoped it hadn’t been too obvious how rabbit-hearted-scared he got at every loud-loud noise, but it was nice to not jump each time the little guy on the tv did something jin didn’t seem to like.
jungkook didn’t really notice how close he got to jin until jin lightly tugged his hair to get his attention. when jungkook blinked up at him, their faces were much closer than jungkook expected and he blinked in surprise. he’d worked his way under jin’s arm, he realized, and was pressed close-close to his side, smushed against warmth and comfort and hyung.
“ah, jungkook-ah—”
jin’s face was - nice, jungkook thought, not teasing or dramatic or anything his hyung was when he felt loud. he must feel quiet. like jungkook. his voice was nice, too. quiet and gentle. like yoongi-hyung’s. he blinked in acknowledgement.
“sit on hyung’s lap.”
jungkook didn’t hear how jin almost instinctively added a might as well or that’s what you’re after, eh, jungkook-ah? he just heard the honest invitation for what it was, and those were the invitations that jungkook was best at accepting.
he crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs and nosing his neck comfortably, making himself so much smaller than he was when he had to be big which was usually always. he was so encompassed by getting exactly what he needed and wanted and craved that he didn’t notice jin pause the game. he noticed jin wrap his arms around him, though, and he let out a tiny, happy hum, snuggling as close as he could. he was already pressed close, though, just like he liked to be, so it was mostly a wriggle.
he drifted off into his favorite soft-nice-floatiness as jin went back to his game, the volume lowered and yells replaced by occasional kisses pressed to his hair.
-
yoongi froze in the doorway for a solid moment, staring at jin and jungkook with a tense set to his mouth. his eyes didn’t leave them as he slid off his shoes and hung up his jacket and set his bag to the side.
jungkook was often touchy with his hyungs, yoongi knew. but he wasn’t often curled up so small. or on their laps. or napping.
“is this what he’s like with you?” jin asked.
“like what?” yoongi asked warily.
“gentle,” jin decided on after a beat. “quiet. sweet.”
yoongi pursed his lips and sat beside them, touching jungkook’s back. it didn’t take much to wake him like this; he blinked awake lazily, raising his head just long enough to look at yoongi then jin then back again. he rested his cheek on jin’s shoulder, sleepy eyes still on yoongi. he loved to do that, yoongi knew. just look. know someone was there for him.
“hi, baby,” yoongi said quietly, smiling when jungkook didn’t answer. he tucked jungkook’s soft hair behind his ear. “did you have a nice nap with jinnie-hyung?”
jungkook nodded, holding onto jin’s sweatshirt with a fist. yoongi saw the moment he realized and winced, though he doubted there had been a way to keep jungkook fully down.
jungkook’s brows furrowed, eyes unfogging, lips pouting the way they did when he was getting a little too close to crying. he straightened up and looked at jin with almost fearful eyes, but jin cut off his mumbly apology before it could even begin.
jin smiled at him and squeezed his waist. “i’m glad i made a good bed, jungkook-ah. thank you for keeping me company.”
jungkook glanced between the two of them, lip caught between his teeth until yoongi eased it away as he always did. “s’really okay?”
“of course, baby,” jin assured, the name flowing off his tongue easily. jungkook’s breath caught in his throat, his grip on his jin’s sweatshirt tightening for just a moment. “hyung wouldn’t mind spending more time with his jungkookie.”
“like this,” yoongi added.
“like this,” jin agreed. “you needed someone, didn’t you?”
jungkook nodded hesitantly, glancing over his face to find any evidence of untruth.
“your hyung’s always here for you, jungkookie,” jin assured, confident and easy, like caring for jungkook was the most natural thing in the world. “always.”