Chapter Text
“Noble Delusions”
The Fatui ran a small, corner cafe on the outskirts of the City. It was a quiet life- Childe went to ‘work’ most weekdays, and ran the shop in his spare time. It was quite mundane- ordering the needed goods, remembering how to run the dreaded machine, to microwaving pre-baked muffins.
He didn’t really need the money- per ce, His work involved dishing out quiet pills and slipping cyanide into drinks.
It was cosy, with everything a barista needed to run the machine smoothly. The distance from the CBD ensured that not too many customers flooded in at similar times. Capitano baked most of the goods, Signora handled PR, Scaramouche was…there, and Pierro managed their funds.
After all, a cafe running drug deals and ‘hits’ on opposing political leaders sounds like a title straight out of a crappy fantasy novel, no one would ever suspect the corner-store cafe to hide the facade of a murderous mafia.
To be fair- they served really good cakes- Capitano was the only one who held a gastronomy degree in the entirety of the Harbingers, and good lord did he use it. From cheesecakes to even homemade chocolate taffy, Childe had the pleasant role of serving as his taste tester most of the time.
When Tartaglia had been scouted as a sniper amongst the ranks of the largest mafia in Tevyat, he didn't expect his calloused, practised hands to be working an expresso machine- but he couldn't complain, the food was good and every shift provided him with a slice of Capitano’s cakes.
Still, that didn't prevent him from teasing Pierro, who was oh-so-reluctant after being ordered by the Tsaritsa to be a manager out of all things.
Customer service was definitely not Pierro’s strong suit, that was clear…Crystal clear after he had threatened to quote on quote ‘shove his hand so far up their ass that they would be choking on their own shit for the next three years’… how the hell did he not get arrested yet? Oh wait- Pierro had ‘silenced’ every police officer that delved a little too deep into their rabbit hole.
They had only been open for a month, yet this little store became more popular than what all of the Fatui had expected.
Childe couldn’t blame them, they had spent a fortune on interior design and quality ingredients, apparently, Pantalone didn’t mind half of his personal fund being invested on a crack house cafe further from the CBD.
Still, the hustle and bustle certainly made it more difficult to overhear code words from ‘customers’.
He had a whole twenty-page document to memorise…
Lord, he missed the days when it was a done and sealed deal.
Tevyat was now run by two criminal groups.
‘The Fatui’
‘The Abyss Order’
And of course, the poor policemen who were definitely underpaid and a hundred percent overworked.
One uneventful day, a certain brown-haired male stumbled into the cafe
Tartaglia definitely wasn’t slacking off in the corner, playing Candy crush on his slightly broken phone. He got paid hourly on top of his ‘being in the literal mafia wages’, and so he really couldn’t complain about money or things relating to it.
The man seemed ordinary enough, brown hair- neatly trimmed. He appeared to be rather well groomed, or merely took the chance to appreciate his astound beauty… Ajax quickly clicked off his phone, tucked it into a pocket obscured by his apron and stumbled to the front desk.
“Welcome to ‘Noble Delusions’, what can I get for you today?” Ajax smiled, putting on his best ‘customer service voice’ as he attempted(and failed) to not stare at the gorgeous man in front of him
“Hm. Just a latte please, that and a slice of chocolate torte.”
Ajax nodded, typing up the prices on the counter.
“Dining in or Takeaway?’
“Dining in.”
“-and the name for the order?”
“Zhongli.”
Tartaglia hummed once again.
“That’ll be eleven dollars and fifty cents. We only accept cash here.” Ajax pointed to the laminated sheet of paper clearly- clearly displayed atop the counter. Nearly all of the store prices ended in .00 or .50 due to such- it also saved Ajax a ton in calculating prices.
‘Zhongli’ seemed satisfied with that price, as he reached for his back pocket and found…
Nothing.
When Ajax realised how the other seemed to check his pockets almost obsessively. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly to himself- nearly immediately regretting the decision when Zhongli’s ears turned bright red.
“Don’t worry. It’ll be on the house.” Ajax waved Zhongli off, he’d excuse the other man for forgetting his wallet this once. If Pantalone was here to witness it, he’d surely scream at Ajax for such ‘unprofessional’ business decisions- but Pantalone wasn’t here to nag over the economy of Liyue, and surveillance cameras were deemed too much of a liability if the government found it’s way to hack into them- so Ajax could excuse the other’s forgetfulness, just this once.
“Sit down and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be with you in just a second.”
Zhongli apologised profusely- albeit an unnecessarily long monologue of his shame, Ajax still found it endearing in a way.
When the other had settled down in a spot by the window, Tartaglua couldn’t help but admire how the golden sun that was gradually setting down seemed to frame the other’s slightly tanned skin, and how the intricate gold hair tie that Zhongli wore glimmered in the afternoon. Zhongli didn’t seem to notice; staring out of the window and into the hustle and bustle of the streets as if it was a screen, mirroring the tranquillity of everyday life.
He should… really stop simping for a man he had exchanged words for a mere minute.
-
Ajax returned with Zhongli’s order ten minutes later.
He set down the porcelain plate and mug, quietly noting how Zhongli smiled and spoke of his gratitude. Gods- he’d love to learn more about this man, how the other’s low voice was silky smooth and decadent, just like his dream partne-
“Thank you. I really do apologise for such a mistake on my end. I’ll return tomorrow to pay back my debt”
“Don’t worry about it. We all make mistakes.” Ajax responded quickly, ignoring how his phone buzzed against his thigh.
“If you don’t mind me asking, do you know of a certain individual called ‘The Jester’?”
.
.
.
.
What. The. Fuck?
Ajax feigned confusion, though he was indeed confused- this was a whole other can of worms.
“No… should I?”
Zhongli’s eyes dimmed, as he reached to sip on his latte.
“Nothing, I shouldn’t have asked.”
Ajax was even more confused- did this man escape Pierro??? That was unheard of…
“Come on, you can’t leave me hanging like that- who is he?”
Zhongli sighed- he dug himself into this hole, he shouldn’t have expected anything else.
“There have been reports of a sex trafficker known as ‘The Jester’. I…. Sorry, the lack of sleep has been getting to me. I thought you'd heard of him, considering how close this place was to the red light district.”
Ajax tilted his head in mock confusion, while his mind brewed up a whole storm of possibilities.
Pierro wasn’t a sex trafficker, he was a Hitman… unless ‘The Jester’ referred to someone else?
“Are you a police officer? Is it really a good idea to tell me this?”
“You could say I’m akin to one, just be aware, it’s getting late and there’s been many, many reports of people going missing.”
"Be safe out there"