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Awoken with a start, Albus Potter sat up in bed. It was dark outside, now, the dusk settling into evening stars and cold air. Looking around, he noticed Scorpius’ bed lay empty, the sheets pulled back. How was it that just knowing Scorpius had been there, comforted him so immensely? He hadn’t seen him since his heart had burst and then been stitched back together in the same second when Scorpius lurched forward on the staircase and hugged him so close - too close, as if he thought he was going to lose him forever. Standing, he pressed his hand to the empty space - it was warm.
Walking groggily over to the bathroom, Albus turned on the light and squinted in the sudden light. The Albus in the mirror stared back at him, his hair a mess, his eyes red. The Albus in the mirror looked older. More weathered. More like his Dad than he would have wanted. All he needed was the glasses and he’d look a lot like the boy he’d seen in the triwizard tournament. Albus had always been jealous of James’ reddish hair, nobody ever said he looked like his Dad, whereas Albus constantly got that as a compliment from strangers in Hogsmeade. Albus would give anything to look even slightly more like a Weasley. He ran his hands through his unruly mop of hair and did his best to tame it even slightly. Giving up, he opened the creaky door and turned off the light. Scorpius still hadn’t come back to bed. Slipping his dressing gown around his shoulders, Albus risked a peak out of the dorm room. The corridor in darkness, Albus stepped out into the pitch black and down into the common room. Warm light filled the room from the still flickering fire, Albus started to smile in anticipation: he knew where Scorpius would be. Rounding the corner, he peaked over at Scorpius’ favourite chair, realising a book had been left abandoned, and the chair was regrettably empty.
Where are you, then?
Padding down the empty hallway, narrowly avoiding nearly-headless Nick, who was reminiscing loudly to himself about the good old days, Albus wiped his eyes in the flickering torch light. Stopping at one of the archways, Albus looked down onto the sweeping landscape, the lake, the forbidden forest. In the moonlight, Albus could see the platform where he had emerged from the lake just days ago, greeted by warmth and excitement from the boy he felt so much for. The forbidden forest, where, in another world, Scorpius had defeated unimaginable fear to bring back his real world. And because bringing back that world would bring back you, the voice in the back of Albus’ head whispered. Albus turned his head towards the quidditch pitch, where he could see the dimly glowing enchanted lanterns next to Craigs memorial. Brightened by the light, Albus could see the flowers, the notes, one of Karls hufflepuff beanies by a bunch of white lilies. The dark scorch mark on the grass from Delphi’s spell.
A large tawny owl flew through the tallest quidditch goal and it occurred to him that Albus knew where Scorpius would have gone, in the middle of a night like tonight.
The large wooden door opened for him as he crept up the stairs, the stone cold on his feet. The owlery was quiet and still late at night, with one single lantern hanging off of the wall. The Potters shared owl, Gizmo (the name was Lily's doing), squawked at him as he was rudely awoken from his sleep, and Albus gingerly petted the top of his head, still slightly scarred from the time Gizmo, who had a nasty streak, had pecked him at the breakfast table last week. Gizmo allowed this to happen, but didn’t look happy about it. Albus grimaced at the owl before continuing his journey up the stairs. Surely enough, sat at the same archway he’d situated himself at before everything went to hell, was Scorpius, his blonde hair fluffy from sleep and wind.
Albus found himself searching for a word to say. Last time he had seen his best friend, he felt so so sure that they were on the same page - the page that was them, being more than what they had been. But now, with the wind blowing through and rattling the owl cages eerily, Albus found himself second guessing, worrying, wondering whether he should dismiss everything before he got his hopes up any more. (His hopes, now at an astronomical level, could not possibly go any higher.) He cleared his throat and Scorpius turned. “Shit, Albus. You scared me!”
Albus smiled sheepishly, gesturing for Scorpius to move up. He did. Albus sat beside his friend, hanging his legs out of the bottom of the archway. Unwarranted memories of Delphi Diggory swirled through the air, her breaking his wand, hurting Scorpius, taking away Albus’ chance to make things right.
Craigs lifeless body on the quidditch pitch.
Albus tried to steady himself against the assault of anxiety that was passing through him. The world in front of him was spinning, the skyline was spinning, the height of the owlery suddenly occurred to him seconds before Scorpius realised what was going on and pulled Albus out of the archway, letting his back rest against the cold stone wall and kneeling in between his legs. Albus was vaguely aware of a hand resting on his knee, the cold wall behind him, the hoots of the owls, Scorpius’ breathing, his own breathing… thoughts spinning round in circles, the world spinning around in circles.
Scorpius matters to me. You know that, right? - Scorpius - Albus - everyones been looking for you! - Just like that spare did - I changed myself back, because of you - I’m beginning to understand it - And that’s who you want in your palace? - Did you? - You’re Albus I’m Scorpius - I’ve never fought alone - He’s not like his Father at all, is he - She looked wonderful, Albus - Scorpius is the most important person in my life - I’ll see you at dinner.
Scorpius swum back into view, his eyebrows furrowed together in deep concern, his hand on Albus’ cheek, warm and comforting. Scorpius’ eyes widened as he realised Albus was looking at him, really looking at him, instead of looking through him, as he had been moments ago.
In the quiet moments that followed, Albus studied his best friend's face as if it was going to disappear forever. Albus was immediately conscious of how close he was. How he could feel Scorpius’ warm breath on his face, constant and reassuring. His flushed cheeks, blown pupils, the brush of his thumb against his cheek. His old man pyjamas, perfectly turned up at the sleeves, the goosebumps on his arms, the confused look on his face as he uttered, “Why did you come up here?”
“Why did you?” Albus countered, all too aware of Scorpius’ hand on his face.
“I didn’t think about it.”
“You weren’t in bed. I knew you would be here.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
Scorpius shrugged, “You weren’t at dinner. So I assumed - I got scared, I think. I was lying in bed looking at you and thought I was going to combust. So I just needed out.”
Albus was shocked by how transparent he was. He supposed he shouldn’t be, considering this was the boy who had always spoken his mind extremely plainly when he needed to.
Albus, all too cautious, whispered, “Why were you scared?”
Scorpius’ hand fell from his face. Albus so desperately wanted to grab it and put it right back on his cheek.
“You weren’t at dinner.”
“So…?”
Scorpius looked up, baffled. “Albus. I all but confessed how I feel about you and you told me you’d see me at dinner and then you didn’t come to dinner. What do you think that meant to me?”
Albus’ eyes widened. “Oh my god, I’m a fucking idiot.”
Scorpius looked like he was about to open his mouth and either protest or agree - Albus didn’t want to know which.
“Dad and I, we went to Cedrics grave. We talked, like, properly, for the first time probably ever. The things he said - The things I said - I was so beside myself. We both were. It felt like, for the first time, we had something other than blood in common. I went back home with him after. I felt like I needed to. I flooed back to McGonagall's office after and went straight to our room. But that doesn’t matter - I am so sorry about dinner.`` Albus muttered.
Scorpius looked a lot less upset now. “It wasn’t about dinner. You - you know that, right?”
“I know it wasn’t about dinner. It was about -”
“Yes.”
“Right.” Albus felt his heart thumping in his chest.
“How is your Dad - about, well, everything?”
“Traumatised. I’ve retraumatised him. I tend to be good at that, I’ve noticed.” Albus sighed, “He’s taking some time off work. To see me and James and Lily more. So that's one upside to… all this.” He gestured to the owlery.
“Never heard you talk about seeing your Dad more being an upside before.” Scorpius mumbled happily.
“I think a lot of the things that needed to be said have been, now. I feel like there's less of a chasm between us now. It's just a shame something like this was what it took to make that happen.”
Scorpius smiled at him, sadly. “Only takes one tragedy to make you realise how lucky you are for the things you have.”
Albus nodded, looking down at the floor, at Scorpius’ legs in between his.
“Can I - hold you? Please?” He whispered to the floor.
Within seconds and without barely any thought, Scorpius moved down and laid down so he was partially on top of Albus. He held onto his torso and linked his arms behind his back, resting his head on Albus’ chest. He heard Albus’ heart thumping underneath his tshirt. Could smell sleep on him. He closed his eyes, feeling more at home here than he did in Malfoy Manor.
“Dad knows. I mean, I told him.” Albus stuttered
Scorpius lifted his head from Albus’ chest. “He knows what?”
Albus is so still. Scorpius has never seen him more still. “About you. How - How I feel about you.”
“Right. Okay.”
“Okay.”
“It says something when your Dad knows more about how you feel than I do.” Scorpius chuckled.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Albus guffawed, “I was about to… kiss you- if it wasn’t for Rose -”
“Ah yes, the Rose excuse. You’ve used that a lot. Rose dropped ink on your potions book, Scorpius, it wasn't me! Rose stole your marmalade toast, Scorpius, it wasn’t me!” Scorpius mocked, although his heart was thumping at Albus’ confession.
“It’s TRUE this time!” Albus laughed.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
They sink into a heavy silence. Beside them, the sun began to rise from behind the trees, flooding the sky with pink. Scorpius stood up from the floor, offering Albus his hand and pulling him up too. Albus didn’t let go. Neither did Scorpius. “We should go back to the dorm before the prefects start doing their morning rounds.” Scorpius offers. Albus nods.
As they headed down the stairs, Albus wondered in disbelief how he still hadn’t kissed this boy yet. Surely there was somewhere in that conversation he could have. They head down the hallway, through the courtyard. He mentally kicks himself, thinking of how close he was to Scorpius’ lips. How easy it would have been to just -
Scorpius had stopped walking.
Albus was slowly realising why, as his skin prickled and he felt drops of cold water on him. It was snowing. Albus looked up to the sky, a smile breaking across his face. The last time Albus had seen snow, he’d been in Godric's Hollow thirty nine years ago, so unknowing of all that would transpire. Unknowing if he’d ever return home, or see his Mum again, or be able to tell Scorpius how he really felt. Albus looked back to Scorpius, and could see in his eyes that he had been taken back to the same time.
“I’m in love with you.” Albus said, clear as day. “That's what I told my Dad. I’m all in, with you.”
Scorpius looked like a rabbit in headlights and for a second Albus could hear the blood thumping in his ears before a grin crept across his face.
“I’ve been so scared, Scorpius. I kept being so scared. But I’m not going to let myself be led by fear anymore. Not after - everything. I’d rather love and be hurt than never love at all.”
“You think I’m going to hurt you?” Scorpius questioned.
Albus didn’t really need to think about it. “No.”
Scorpius used their conjoined hands to pull Albus closer to him. Around them, snow swirled and settled. The school was still quiet, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Scorpius brushed Albus’ hair out of his eyes gingerly. Albus felt slightly like he was going to faint. Scorpius rested his hand on Albus’ waist. It felt like they were pysching each other out, waiting to see who would turn away from this frightening amount of intimacy first. Or who would lean in first. Albus wasn’t sure which.
Albus held Scorpius’ cheek, gingerly, rubbing the pad of his thumb along his temple. Scorpius smiled. “So?”
“So. I am going to kiss you. If that's okay-”
Scorpius laughed, “That's okay.”
Albus pressed his lips to Scorpius’. The gentlest of touches. He wasn’t expecting that Scorpius would still be so warm, after standing in the cold for so long. He was so warm - his lips were so warm. He pulled away. Rested his forehead to Scorpius’, trying so desperately to regulate his breathing. Scorpius was smiling.
Scorpius leant in, this time, capturing Albus’ lips with his. They moved together, fitting like a puzzle piece. Albus was dizzy with it, being so close to this boy. In the dormitory, when Scorpius had confessed about who saved him, on the staircase, in the greenhouse, in the potions room. Everywhere Albus was, there was Scorpius, right beside him. Just as it had always been. Hardening the kiss, Albus put his arms around Scorpius’ neck and let his hands rest in his hair. He’d fantasised about running his hands through his messy locks, and finally, finally. He mentally high fived himself.
They pulled away again. But Albus couldn’t bring himself to take his hands out of Scorpius’ hair. So there they stayed, feeling the hot breath of the other on their cheeks. Snow dropped on them for a few minutes whilst they just looked at eachother.
“Albus…”
“Mmmmm…”
“I can’t feel my feet.”
It dawned on him suddenly they were both without shoes. He’d been so caught up in the romance of it all that he hadn’t even remembered.
“Are your toes going to drop off?”
“No?”
“One more, then.”
“Albus-”
Albus pecked Scorpius’ cheek, continuing down to the base of his neck, Scorpius giggling and trying to push him away, trying to breathe. He stopped, when Albus kissed back up his neck and stopped to kiss one sensitive spot for just a bit longer than the others. Scorpius felt warm again. Almost a bit too warm.
“That was way more than one kiss.” Scorpius scolded teasingly. Albus grinned.
“Come along, Malfoy.” Albus pecked him on the lips before offering his hand to his best friend.