Work Text:
Foolish always thought he spoke his mind. If there was ever a problem, he felt no hesitation before speaking up. He was good at communication, he could convey his thoughts and emotions well and he never stopped himself from doing so. But for the life of him he couldn’t say shit to Punz.
His crush on the other had been eating him alive for months, but no matter what, he couldn’t tell the other. He wasn’t afraid of rejection, after this long stewing in his crush he’s come to accept that possibility. He had come to terms with every single possible outcome that could possibly happen from confessing, but no matter what he couldn’t say the words.
At this point he was pretty sure that there was a good chance Punz reciprocated his feelings, the amount of flirting, jokes and those types of moments they have was way to many for Foolish to excuse. Dumb things were always said on and off stream and Foolish never knew if he should push at it or accept it as the joke the delivery made it out to be. It was slightly hypocritical as he made those same types of jokes and mentally noted how Punz would also freeze for a second. He recognised that they were both going through the same thing yet neither would speak up.
He shook away the thoughts. Now was not the time to think about this, Punz wasn’t even in the house and he was on a drive with a few of his friends that were in the area, it could wait. It was Saturday night, he was playing Pummel Party with the usual crew (minus Punz) and he was having a drink or two, he should just be relaxing.
But how can he stop thinking about Punz when everything reminds him of them? The game, all the mini games Punz loves were coming up, his desk was even covered in things that belonged to Punz, and fuck , he was pretty sure the hoodie he had on belonged to the other. He was everywhere and Foolish couldn’t get away.
The thoughts were becoming too much and Foolish just wanted them to stop and leave his head. Not thinking twice, he did the first thing that came to his hazy mind. Dropping his head down onto the table his forehead slammed against the wood just missing the keyboard. It didn’t actually hurt that much but the sound that came from it even shocked him.
“Foolish?”
Fuck. It was loud enough to be picked up on his mic.
“Yeah?” Just play dumb.
“What was that?” The question was asked innocently by who he thought was Sam. There was a faint ringing sound in his ears, possibly from the hit or just an effect from the alcohol.
“Uhh something just fell.”
“What could make that kind of noise?”
“Um…” His brain was failing him; the buzz from the alcohol was stopping any clear thoughts from entering his head. “My head.” Speaking slowly he tried to find a way out of this.
“You hit your head off the desk?”
“What’s it to you? I could play better with my head than any of you could with your hands.”
“Yeah? You’re good at playing with your head?” Now that was definitely Gumi, he could recognise her voice the best from the group that was currently playing.
“Yeah, maybe I am. You’re just jealous you aren’t as good as me.”
The night carried on like that, Foolish taking a shot everytime he thought of Punz, his friends being loud and joking around and shouts of rage towards the game. Foolish doesn’t remember many details, he just remembers shouting at the game and its stupid RNG. He knows that Punz was brought up a lot as he took a lot of shots and by the time Foolish left for the night, he was well and truly drunk.
Stumbling downstairs to get water, Foolish cursed himself for drinking so much, already thinking about the hell of a hangover he was going to be facing tomorrow. Entering the kitchen, Foolish grabbed multiple snacks on the way over to the fridge. Grabbing a pot of fruit and two bottles of water, he made his way to the lounge area to watch a bit of tv and sober up a little before he tried to sleep.
Already sitting on the couch was Punz, he was lying across the sofa with his legs up and his own bottle of water resting on top of his chest. Foolish didn’t know when he got home or how long he had been lying there, but he was more than glad to see him.
“Oh, hey! Is that the stream over? Did you leave early? I saw Gumi was still streaming.” Sitting up a little to make room for Foolish, Punz gestured for him to sit next to him.
The room was slightly spinning so Foolish didn’t waste a second before joining him on the sofa. Instead of sitting on the other side like Punz made room for, Foolish flopped down, lying right next to Punz. Cuddling into his chest and wrapping his arms around Punz’s waist he made himself comfortable in the small gap he’s squished himself into.
“What are you watching?” Foolish asked, completely ignoring the previously asked questions.
“Just reruns of some old sitcom, I can’t remember the name of it, think it’s from the 90s though.”
“Mmm cool.” Foolish didn’t move his head away from Punz’s chest, it felt too heavy to move and Punz was soft, warm and really really comfortable. Damn, he thought about Punz again, that’s another shot. Foolish giggled to himself at the thought of continuing the challenge of taking shots, he didn't think he’d survive a day if he continued it.
“Do you want to watch it?”
“Yeah, okay.” Foolish agreed but never removed himself from Punz to turn around.
“Foolish? You’re gonna have to turn around to watch it.” He could hear the amusement in Punz’s voice but at this moment when he’s cuddled up next to him all warm and cosy, he couldn't care if he was being laughed at.
“Hmm no.”
Punz giggled a little at his reluctance to turn around. The sound made Foolish smile and hold Punz a little tighter, this time Punz reciprocated, wrapping his arms around him and pulled Foolish closer.
Overjoyed by the action, Foolish let out a happy mumble before throwing all caution to the wind.
“I love you, Punz.”
He felt Punz breath heavily and his arms stiffen before he finally spoke. “I love you too, Foosh but, you’re drunk. You should just get to bed.” He sounded almost sad and Foolish couldn’t stand that, in his mind Punz should always be happy.
“I’m not that drunk, I promise. I really mean it, I love you.” Looking up at Punz, he tried to convince him that he was okay. It might be a little bit of a lie as the fuzziness in his head amplified when he moved too quickly, but he did really mean it. Drunk words are sober thoughts or whatever.
“Tell me when you’re sober then. Say it again tomorrow and we’ll talk about it.”
“Easy! First thing I’ll say to you.”
“Okay…” Punz didn’t seem too confident but he had relaxed, his arms going back to hugging him tight. “But I wasn’t lying, you should go to sleep.”
Maybe Punz had a point there, he was really tired and his head felt so heavy so it wouldn’t be too bad to just sleep now.
“Good idea.” With that he closed his eyes and prepared to sleep.
“What? No, Foolish go to bed! You can’t sleep here cause then I can’t get up.” Making a weak attempt to push him away, Punz tried to get him to sit up.
“Shame.” Not happy at the hug ending, Foolish just grabbed Punz’s arms and wrapped them back around himself. Closing his eyes again it was only a minute before he fell asleep, completely dead to the world and to Punz’s sighs and huffs of annoyance as he shifted about trying to get in a position comfortable enough to sleep.
Foolish groaned as he woke up with the worst headache and an uneasy stomach. Careful not to move too quickly and upset his stomach more and end up being sick. He knew he had been stupid last night and drank too much.
Standing up and pausing as the room began to spin a bit too fast, he tried to remember any part of last night. Everything seemed like a bit of a blur, he remembers playing the game then going downstairs but everything else wasn’t coming to mind. Fuck, did he shut down his computer? Did he even leave the call?
In the background he could hear a faint clinking of plates and the thum of the oven. He finally registered the smell of food in the air. Oh, Punz must be awake.
It took him a minute to reorientate himself before he started to move towards the kitchen. Standing up and walking helped him clear the fuzz in his head a little bit. He was starting to remember more of the night, flashbacks of multiple shots that he’s now regretting became more prominent.
Suppressing another groan as to not alert Punz of his presence, he entered the kitchen to see the other hunched over the stove attempting to plate an egg. It was slightly torn and maybe a little overcooked but the image made his heart absolutely burst with love.
“Good morning.” mumbling trying not to bother his own head more he slowly sat down at the kitchen table.
“Morning.” Punz mumbled back, maybe out of concentration of plating the egg or in consideration of the worst hangover in a long while Foolish was currently experiencing.
“That smells amazing.” Dropping his head into his arms and angling his head to stare at Punz’s back.
“I made a little for you, I wasn’t quite sure if you’d be up for eating much.” Looking back at Foolish, Punz just sent him a smirk.
“I don’t think I could handle much, I drank way to fucking much last night. I don’t even know what I was doing, I was talking so much shit and being a dumbass.”
“Yeah, I kinda got that when you refused to let me leave the sofa last night, I’m charging you for any damages done to my neck.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. Please just ignore everything and anything I did or said. I was really really drunk, I can’t remember, like, any of yesterday.” Fear spiked in Foolish as he desperate;y wracked his brain to remember anything he could’ve said to Punz. It was embarrassing enough that he apparently refused to let Punz off the couch and he hates to think what he said to get to that point.
The amused smirk on Punz’s face faded into a more dejected look. “Well, you said-”
“Ahhh! Please don’t say,” Foolish interrupted Punz before he could bring up an embarrassing moment he did not want to think about right now, “I don’t want to think about anything I said. I was making so much up, just lying about random shit, there is no way I’m watching that vod, I don’t even want to hear myself.”
“Oh. I didn’t think you were that drunk.” Punz said a little more quietly, sounding more shocked than amused.
“I don’t think I've been that drunk in a while. I don’t know how I even got like that, I never drink that much, especially when I’m on a stream. I just remember doing shots… Oh my God I done a shot-”
Oh my God, there was no way he was actually that stupid to do a shot every time he thought of Punz.
That was like a 24/7 thought in his head, he couldn’t name a time where he didn’t at least have a background thought involving him. He partially hated the fact that the man could just infiltrate and take up all space in his head like that. But as much as he complained he couldn’t help but love it as well. He loved Punz, he didn’t care that the other was on his mind all the time.
But then there’s another problem, if he was that drunk, what state is his streaming room in. “Shit. I have to check my computer, I don’t know if I left it on.” Foolish stood from the table and made his way upstairs, purposely ignoring how Punz’s face fell more. If he concentrated on it too much he would cry himself at the sight.
God, he was really hungover.
The next few days trudged by and Foolish started to realised he may have fucked up more than he originally thought. Punz had been avoiding him as much as he could as they shared a house and he still couldn’t remember much from Saturday. Little things from the game and what he said during it came to mind eventually but after stream was still just blank. Whenever he would suggest watching a show of Punz’s choice he would agree but after only one episode he would give an excuse and leave to go back to his room. They definitely didn’t talk as much as they used to and it was starting to bug Foolish. He, under no circumstances, could lose Punz.
He spent the days trying his hardest to remember what he could have possibly said to the other to gain this reaction, but still nothing came to mind. There wasn’t a possible chance of him drunkenly confessing his feelings, Punz not reciprocating and him ruining his friendship, right?
Fuck.
He’s really messed this one up. He doesn’t put it past himself to be that drunk he decided to reveal his biggest secret to the other. He regretted all those other times he wanted to say it and he never did but saying it drunk must be his biggest regret.
Where did he even go from here? He could either continue as they were and be ignored but never have to confront his possible mistakes or he could just be forward and try to fix this issue, even if that meant confronting the idea that Punz might not want to spend as much time with him because of it.
Weighing his options, Foolish sighed as he looked at the second text left on read by Punz. He really didn’t like being ignored and avoided by the one person that usually always had his back. So he was certain with his decision as he walked down to Punz’s room where the other had locked himself in all day. Determination took over any hesitation he was feeling before, he will sort this out. He has to sort this.
“Punz! We need to sort this out. Please let me in, or at least open the door.” Knocking the door lightly trying to be as gentle as possible to not scare Punz off more.
“What do you want?” The gruff voice came from behind the door but was loud enough to let Foolish know he was standing right on the other side.
“Please can we just talk about this. I know I messed up, I’m still not quite sure what I did and I just need you to tell me.”
The door swung open and revealed Punz, standing by the door frame swamped in an oversized hoodie that Foolish knew was his. He thought he had lost the jumper a few days ago but soon realised it had been stolen by one of his friends, his first bet was on Karl but seeing Punz wearing it now made his heart jump.
All thoughts left his head at the sight. The oversized hoodie made him look softer and Foolish just wished to hug him, pull them to the couch and watch tv while cuddling, like they always used to do.
Brain still spinning at the sight and slightly panicked at what to say to Punz, Foolish blurts out the first thing that came to his head. “I love you.” It came out quickly and Foolish was taken aback himself.
“You’ve said” Well, that wasn’t the response he thought he would get.
“I have?”
“Yes. While telling me you were sober enough to remember telling me it then waking up the next morning to telling me nothing you said last night was true and you regret it all.”
Oh. He really fucked up.
“Punz, I’m sorry, that wasn’t a lie-”
“You said if you meant it you’d say it first thing the next morning, but the actual thing you said was that you ‘just talked a load of shit’.” Using air quotes to emphasise what Foolish had said and that hurt like a dagger to the stomach. Shit he really hurt Punz.
“No, I would never lie about that, I promise. I fully mean that, God, I just forgot I said that to you. I would tell you that 100 times over and still mean it. Please, I’m sorry, Punz.”
“Do it then.”
“Huh?”
“Say it a hundred times.”
“Right now? Okay- I love you, I love you, I love you I love-”
Punz’s face grew red as he started giggling, batting Foolish’s hands down that were currently up keeping count of how many times he said ‘I love you’. “Stop! Not right now, just- Say it over time, I believe you anyway.”
“Are you sure? I honestly don’t think it’ll take me that long to say, if I say it really fast I could probably say it ten times in around five seconds, possibly ten seconds nearer the end. That’s like less than two minutes, I could do that.” Foolish was convinced he could do it but before he could try, Punz burrowed his head into his chest, squeezing his arms tightly around his waist.
“I’m sure.” It was muffled and Foolish could feel the vibrations rumble his chest.
“I’ll make sure to tell you as many times as I can.”
“And I’ll do the same”
After standing for a few more minutes Foolish finally spoke up. “Can we please cuddle and watch tv. I really miss you.”
“Yeah, I’ve missed you too, I’ll never ignore you for so long again.”
“I did deserve it, I’m sorry for making you think I didn’t love you, I really really do. I should’ve said it before.”
“There were plenty of times I could’ve said it as well, we’re both idiots, it’s fine.”
Leading Punz over to the soda, they lay down in their usual cuddling spot and turned on the tv. Pulling Punz even closer, he placed a light kiss on the top of his head, “I love you.” Whispered softly at a volume Punz even struggled to hear.
“Love you too.”