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The first thing Rider did after he limped home was throw away his old Hero Suit, cape and all.
The second thing he did was… well, sleep, because Rider had been awake for forty hours straight at that point. He hadn’t even noticed; the last few days had been a blur to him.
The third thing he did was start packing. He had to get out of this old, shitty house.
Turns out, packing was easy. Despite there being a lot of stuff in the house, all the possessions Rider cared about could fit in just two boxes.
When Rider found his trusty leather jacket that he had carelessly tossed to the floor the night before, he was a bit confused. He didn’t want to just throw it out, like his old Hero Suit, but… he didn’t quite feel like he deserved to wear it, either.
He settled for tying the jacket around his waist instead. It couldn’t have been that cold out, could it?
Fuck, was Rider’s first thought as he stepped outside with the boxes under his arms. It was that cold out.
Rider had expected to feel bad leaving the house he had grown up in, but he didn’t. It had too many rooms for just one person. Also, there were crabs in the attic.
Unfortunately, Rider hadn’t quite slept through Squidmas. It was still early afternoon, and it must have snowed in the morning, because the ground was wet and dusted with white. There was almost nobody around; the people with kids were staying in for Squidmas, and the people without kids were staying in because it was fucking cold.
Still, the bulletin boards in Inkopolis Square were out, as always. For the first time in recent memory, Rider’s eyes skipped over the numerous turf war match announcements and headlines, going right to the boring sections, the other side of the bulletin board where people left their advertisements.
He was looking for two things. One was “room for rent,” and another was “location: anywhere Rider won’t run into Blue Team by chance.” That last part was proving tricky, but Rider knew he could never meet Blue Team ever again. He would leave the city altogether if he had to.
But… fuck, what would his teammates think? Rider collapsed onto a bench, getting an annoyed look from Judd, who was woken up by the sudden movement. Blazer, Stealth, Bamboo… they didn’t deserve this, they hadn’t done anything wrong.
Rider pulled out his phone. He had about a dozen unread message notifications from his teammates, all from the past couple of weeks. Rider still wasn’t sure how he felt about Blue Team, but Rider realized he had been super unfair to his team, especially lately.
Rider’s fingers flew over his phone keyboard before he even realized what he was doing. That was probably a good thing, because by the time he hit send and had processed what he’d said, Rider knew he would never have done that if he had been thinking.
Hey, I know I’ve been distant, but I promise that’s over now. I’ll see you tonight, okay?
Rider sighed and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. Well, now he’d gone and done it. He couldn’t stay, but now he also couldn’t leave. He should really just get back in his van, there was too much risk of running into Blue Team out here. It had happened once already, even on a day as cold as this one.
“Happy Squidmas, Rider,” said a familiar voice.
It might have been hard to recognize him in a heavy coat and long pants, but Aloha was still wearing a pink aloha shirt over his dark coat, which might have been funny if Rider had been in the mood to laugh.
“...What are you doing out?” Rider scowled. “I would have thought you’d be having Squidmas with the rest of the S4.”
Aloha laughed. “It’s good to see you too,” he said. “And nah, not yet. Army and Mask are busy cooking at home, we don’t really get started until dinnertime.” Aloha looked around at the frosty afternoon. “I thought I’d just… take it all in, first.”
Rider just grunted in response. He was already looking for a way out of this conversation.
“So, still a ‘no’ on joining the S4?” Aloha asked, in what had become their customary greeting. “It could be the S5, just for you,” he joked. Rider could never tell whether or not Aloha meant that as a flirt or not.
“Nope,” Rider shook his head. “Never gonna happen.”
Aloha just grinned. “Well, I’m never gonna stop asking, so we can’t have it both ways.” When Rider didn’t even roll his eyes, Aloha cocked his head. “...What’s up?” he asked. “I’d have thought you’d be with your team today, too…”
Rider said nothing. How could he? What could he possibly say?
“Your hair’s a little…” Aloha pointed tentatively. Shit. Rider had forgotten about his dull color. “...Rider, what’s up,” Aloha said again. It wasn’t an invitation anymore, it was a demand.
Rider had been trying very hard not to dwell on the specifics of last night, but that was made much harder when someone else entered the picture.
“...It’s about Blue Team,” Rider finally said. Even just those four words had been a struggle to force out.
Aloha’s cheeky smile dropped off immediately. “Yeah, I… Yeah.” he said, sitting down next to Rider. Judd gave an indignant ‘meow’ of annoyance, and finally got up and trotted away to look for a less crowded seating area. “I get it. Even after Emp gave us a little crash course, it’s… a lot to take in.” Aloha looked up at the cloudy sky. “I could sort of tell something was up just from meeting them. And…” he looked over at Rider. “And you know all about it, don’t you? It must be confusing to think about.”
Rider shook his head and turned away from Aloha. “It’s… It’s worse than that,” he muttered. A lot worse.
It took Rider a moment to realize that the cold curling around his hand was Aloha’s fingers. “Come on.” Aloha stood up, pulling Rider along with him. “I’m breaking out old reliable.”
“You know, I’m not really an ‘ice cream’ person…” Rider protested weakly as Aloha all but dragged him through the doors of a little shop on the corner of Inkopolis Square. Most placed were closed for Squidmas, a holiday Rider hadn’t seriously celebrated since he was ten years old, but this place seemed like it was contained in its own little world. Still chilly, but not as freezing as outside, with floor-to-ceiling windows on the outside walls, the ice cream shop was oddly ethereal.
Geez, Rider said to himself. He really must be fucked up today if he was thinking like this.
“What do you need, love?” a goldfish at the counter asked loudly. Rider could faintly hear insufferable poppy Squidmas tunes emanating from their headphones.
Rider didn’t really care what he got. He ordered a cup of plain vanilla, and then after repeating himself three separate times, a little louder each time, gave up and simply pointed to the “vanilla” label on the display.
A minute later, Rider had a festive cup of ice cream in his hand, and was sitting down at a table by the window.
“...Why are you doing this?” Rider gave Aloha a suspicious look as he slid into the seat across from him with a cup of ice cream that was a positively eye-watering combination of pink, orange, and purple. It probably tasted like a bowling alley carpet. Not that Rider would know what that tasted like, obviously.
Aloha popped a spoonful of the terrifyingly colored ice cream into his mouth. “Because ice cream is very good at getting people to talk,” he said
Of course. “...Well, it’s not gonna work on me,” Rider said flatly.
Aloha shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
The first spoonful of ice cream was, to Rider’s slight annoyance, wonderful. Despite how cold it was outside and in, the ice cream was supremely comforting, and Rider couldn’t remember the last time he had treated himself like this, especially not with a friend.
Because… yeah, Aloha was a friend, wasn’t he? Rider had almost forgotten that. How could he just waste this chance to talk to one of the few people he had left who would still listen?
Rider discreetly tried to glance up to look at Aloha, but Aloha was already looking at him with a knowing smile. “Told you,” he said.
“Shut up,” Rider muttered. But he supposed there was no point holding a grudge against someone else. Rider opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again. He realized he had forgotten something important. “I don’t think I know what to say,” he admitted weakly. How was he supposed to admit everything he had done?
Aloha casually drew his legs up on his seat and tapped his spoon against the table thoughtfully. “Well,” he said. “Sometimes I like to start by just looking around me and saying the truest, simplest sentence I can think of. Can you do that?”
Rider narrowed his eyes. “Really,” he muttered.
“C’mooooon,” Aloha begged. “Just humor me?”
Rider rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He gazed all around him, at the shop they were in, at the square outside, at Aloha in front of him, and at himself. “...I am in an ice cream shop,” Rider said, slowly and deliberately.
“Good!” Aloha seemed surprised that Rider was actually making an effort.
He was in an ice cream shop. He was in an ice cream shop because Aloha had taken him there. Aloha had taken him there because they had met while Rider was trying to move house. Rider was trying to move house because he was sick of stagnating. And Rider was sick of stagnating because…
Aloha kept going. “Sometimes starting small is good, because once you get going it can just be a tidal wave of-”
“I MISS BLUE TEAM!” Rider shouted. “I miss them so much, and I don’t even know why I couldn’t admit that before, I just couldn’t, and the only reason they’re even like this is because Goggles saved me, it’s my fault, and I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t stop any of them, not even Bobble-”
Everything Rider had been thinking, everything Rider had wanted to say over the past months just came flooding out of him all at once.
“That’s why I hurt them, that’s why I tried to save them, but they didn’t want me to, they fought me, and I know I should feel bad about that, but-”
Aloha dropped his spoon.
“-but the worst part is that I don’t, or at least I don’t feel as bad as I should, and I feel bad about not feeling bad but I just can hardly look at them anymore, I hate them and me and everything else and it’s all because I MISS BLUE TEAM!”
It was a lot, it really was a tidal wave of emotion, but Rider didn’t cry. He didn’t even really feel anything. He had done what he’d done, and crying wouldn’t change that. Rider unclenched his hand and slipped it off of the table into his lap.
For a few moments, Aloha just sat there, eyes wide, and Rider was sure that he’d blown it. “...Wow. Okay,” Aloha said quietly. “...The ice cream really does work, huh.”
Rider barely had patience for Aloha’s jokes under normal circumstances. “Shut up!” he cried. Then he cringed. “Whoops, that, uh-”
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m used to it,” Aloha laughed quietly. “This is you we’re dealing with, after all.”
“Ouch,” Rider muttered. “I guess I deserve that.”
Aloha exhaled. “I mean, whooph, uh… I’ll be honest, I don’t quite understand about half of what you said, but… I get the general idea, and-”
Rider wasn’t finished. “I’ve know I’ve been super wrong, like, logically I understand that, I mean, you’d have to be a real fucking scumbag to make Hachi of all people yell at you-”
Something seemed to catch Aloha’s eye. “Rider.”
“But I still feel so angry for some reason and I have no idea whether I’m more angry with me or them-”
“Rider,” Aloha said, more urgently.
“And I probably ruined their lives, God knows I scared them to death, I even made Glasses almost-”
“RIDER!”
“What?”
“Look.” Aloha pointed out the window their seat was next to. Rider turned his head, and was instantly possessed by the reflex to either scream out loud or dive under the table. Maybe both. Instead, though, Rider found himself just… staring.
Walking down the square, all bundled up in their horribly mismatched winter clothes, was Blue Team.
…Blue, Rider told himself, remembering when Hachi had yelled at him. Calling them that still felt wrong to him, but looking at the five of them, Rider couldn’t bring himself to say anything different.
Blue was as tightly knit together as Rider had come to expect, with Headphones and Glasses on either far end, Goggles and Hachi between them, and Bobble in the very center. Headphones had a gift bag hanging from her free arm.
Goggles and Hachi were holding Bobble’s hands, lifting her up in between each other so that she didn’t really have to walk, but Rider could see that she also had… a crutch, tucked under one arm.
Rider’s stomach twisted itself into a knot. That was a new feeling.
…And yet Bobble was still beaming. Little blue pinpricks of light were circling all around Blue, even Hachi, but as Rider squinted, he realized that instead of bubbles, like he had been expecting, these really were just that - little motes of light, like the stars in the night sky had taken permanent residence around Blue’s heads.
As Goggles and Hachi swung Bobble gently between their arms, while Glasses and Headphones looked on fondly, something inside Rider melted. He realized a moment later that it had been his anger.
“Oh God,” Rider squeezed his eyes shut to stop them from welling up. What was he, eight years old? “Oh God, they’re happy…” Rider’s lip trembled. Blue fighting back so fiercely on Deca Tower had been enough to give Rider pause, but it was only now, seeing this, seeing them for real that put into perspective how wrong he’d been.
Their hair was all the same brilliant blue. Even Bobble’s dry, graying tentacles had wisps of blue drifting through them.
Rider couldn’t blink the tears back any longer, and part of him couldn’t believe that this was what had finally broken him, but another part of him realized that it couldn’t have been anything else. “They’re happy…” What had he been thinking?
Rider finally understood.
Aloha awkwardly put a hand on Rider’s shoulder. “...Take it easy there, big guy. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!” Rider cried, still desperately trying to stop the tears from coming. “I hurt them, I hurt all of them, and it was all because I just couldn’t take it, I couldn’t stand looking at them like that, and it’s all my fault-”
“Okay,” Aloha said, cutting Rider off. “But did you ever actually try to get over it?”
“Yes,” Rider said immediately, wiping his face with his hand. Of course he’d tried, he’d tried everything he could think of, like…
Like, um…
“...No,” he said in a small voice. He hadn’t tried at all.
Aloha nodded in understanding, if not sympathy. “Then that means there’s still a chance you can get over it,” he observed. It occurred to Rider that Aloha almost felt like a completely different person now. How much experience did he have with this sort of thing?
“You just have to try,” Aloha said, staring straight into Rider’s eyes.
Through the window outside, Blue had stopped under a tree in the square. Hachi looked a little confused as to why they had stopped, but Blue all had the exact same knowing smile. In a single, fluid motion, Headphones slid the gift bag down her long arm right onto Glasses’, who passed it to Goggles, who then flipped it over in his hands, finally letting its contents drop right into Bobble’s waiting hands. Bobble didn’t even have to lean on her crutch to take it, because Glasses and Headphones had immediately moved to her side to support her.
Hachi’s hair flipped up in delighted surprise when Bobble presented the lovingly folded leather jacket to him. It had fleece lining on the inside, and a few pins and patches that Blue must have added themselves.
“...He’s so lucky,” Rider muttered as Hachi gingerly accepted the gift and hugged Blue with his tentacles, since his hands were now full.
Aloha whistled. “I’ll say. That is a really nice jacket.”
“Not the jacket, you-” Rider bit his tongue. “...You know what I mean,” he sighed.
Aloha patted Rider’s shoulder. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
Yes, Hachi had had the slight advantage of not knowing the real- the old Blue for as long as Rider had, but Rider knew he couldn’t use that as an excuse. Hachi was just… better than him, braver than him, kinder than him. And Hachi had seen Blue at their worst, while Rider could barely even handle them at their best.
Hachi deserved them. And they deserved him.
“I’m gonna go say hi… again. Now that I… understand a bit better,” Aloha decided, standing up from his chair and abandoning his half-finished cup of ice cream. “Want me to introduce you?”
Rider blinked. “We… we already-”
Aloha rolled his eyes. “Duh, of course you already know each other, I mean… Talk to them for you. Tell them you want to try again.”
“H- Hold on.” Rider blanched. “What if I don’t want to-”
“You do,” Aloha said matter-of-factly.
…God damn it. Yeah, he did.
Blue’s stars flashed in surprise when they noticed Aloha approach, and for a moment they just hung there, uncertainly.
Then Blue finally cracked, and they all started excitedly chattering at once, and Rider just had to imagine what they were saying. Introductions between Aloha and Hachi, catching up with each other, maybe some apologies, too. Rider couldn’t hear.
After the excitement died down a little, Rider could see Aloha take a deep breath, and then say something else to Blue. He pointed back toward the window, right at Rider in his seat at the table.
Blue glanced over in his direction, and knit together even more closely. Rider gave a nervous half-laugh, half-choke, and raised a hand in greeting. Bobble scowled. Headphones tucked her arms up around her chest. Goggles just looked blank, which felt even worse than the look of hatred Rider had been expecting. Hachi’s tentacles snaked around each of Blue protectively. Only Glasses leaned over to Aloha and said something, and Rider got the feeling he was speaking for all of Blue.
Aloha listened patiently, then gave an understanding nod. He cautiously opened his arms for a hug, and Rider had to look away the moment he saw Blue move in.
He didn’t look up until he heard the door to the ice cream shop open again. Aloha sat down across from Rider again, quiet and serious, but not quite able to hide his relieved smile. Of course Aloha was happy, he hadn’t done anything to Blue.
“...Not now,” Aloha said, when it became clear Rider wasn’t going to prompt him. “Not yet. They need time, obviously, but…” Aloha struggled to find the words. “But I think they miss you too.”
“Yeah,” Rider muttered. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I-” he blinked, as what Aloha had actually said finally sunk in. “...Wait, that’s not a no?” he repeated incredulously.
Aloha smiled and shook his head. “Who do you think you’re dealing with here? This is them we’re talking about. They become friends with everyone who hates them, eventually.” Aloha laughed. “I mean, look at me! Look at everyone who’s ever fought them, look at fucking *Emperor.*” Aloha looked out the window again. “That’s what they do.”
Rider felt like this went a little beyond turf wars. Still, now there was hope, and that was something Rider had no idea what to do with.
“...They’re not as gone as you think,” Aloha said after a long silence. “You don’t have to ‘miss’ them.”
What scared Rider the most was that Aloha might have been right. Rider wasn’t sure if he was ready to process that. The Blue he had seen on top of Deca Tower… it had been so them, even if Rider hadn’t wanted to recognize it.
“I… I need to go,” Rider said quietly. He felt more scared than he ever had before. It was like Aloha had finally cracked a wall in his head and let everything Rider had been bottling up, even from himself, come flooding out all at once. “This is- it’s too much. Thanks for the ice cream. Happy Squidmas.”
As Rider got up to leave, Aloha grabbed his wrist firmly. “Oh no you don’t,” Aloha scolded. “You’re staying with me.”
Rider flinched. “That’s… That’s not an invitation, is it.”
“Nope!” Aloha said cheerfully, picking up his ice cream and spoon in his other hand. “I gotta keep an eye on you, or else how can I be sure you won’t try to slip away and hide again?”
Aloha was perfectly right, Rider knew he couldn’t be trusted to hold himself accountable, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
“Oh come on,” Aloha wheedled. “You’re moving anyways, aren’t you?”
“How did you-”
“Saw the boxes in your van.” Aloha jabbed a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the parking lot.
“Yeah, I wanted to go somewhere I’ll never run into Blue T- again.”
Aloha narrowed his eyes. “And are you doing that for their sake, or yours?”
Rider was too overwhelmed to argue. “Oh, for fuck’s- fine,” he groaned. “But only until I go talk to Blue again, which I’ll make myself do as soon as-”
Aloha held up a hand. Even though that hand was still holding his ice cream, it made Aloha’s point nonetheless. Shush. “Nope,” Aloha said flatly. “Blue decides when that is.”
“And… and what do I do then?”
Aloha glanced out the window to look at Blue again. “One step at a time, big guy,” he said firmly.
Rider took a deep breath. “Yeah… yeah okay,” he sighed.
“So… S5?” Aloha asked, putting an arm around Rider’s shoulder as they left the shop.
“Shut up,” Rider muttered, but there was no bite behind his voice.
Outside, under a tree, Blue looked up at Aloha and Rider when they noticed movement.
Somehow, somewhere inside him, Rider found the strength to bow in apology. I’m sorry, he thought. Maybe soon he’d be strong enough to say it out loud, too.
One step at a time.
As Rider and Aloha left, Blue lifted a hand in a silent wave, before turning away to leave. They still had to take Hachi somewhere nice, after all.
One step at a time.