No Place Like Home

"What?" Link grins, turning sideward on Epona and ruffling his hair. "Do I have something on my face or what? A bug?"

"No, no." Zelda gives him a warm smile. "It's just that your clothes keep on catching my eye. It's odd to see you in something so casual.”

"You're one to talk." He casts his eyes down to the plain linen blouse that peeks out from under her hood. She blushes under his gaze, maybe because of the things he whispered in her ear when he brought her the outfit earlier. "Did I tell you I had to invent a cousin to get the seamstress to show me linen fabrics? She saw me, connected the dots when I asked for a blouse, and buried me with silks. She even fetched golden trims."

Zelda clenches the reins in her hands. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

"Not before long and they swap out the silks with marble and then I'm just a statue like all the other late queens in the throne room."

"Not if I can help it, Zelda."

"Oh, don't you worry, you'll be right up there with me, legendary Hero." She sighs, patting the neck of her horse. "Sorry. I don't want to dampen the mood on a day like this."

Link stretches his hand out to her. She takes it and allows him to squeeze it amicably. Slowly, a smile spreads on her face again and her eyes light up. She giggles.

"Hm?" Link strokes his thumb over her hand and withdraws. "There is a bug on my face."

“No, nothing of the sort. It’s just funny because it’s rare that clothes for women make more sense than the ones for men."

"And what doesn't make sense about my clothes, Queen of Fashion? I think this is a pretty normal Ordonian wardrobe."

"It only has one sleeve."

Link drops his gaze to the arms holding the reins as if he’s seeing them for the first time, as if the autumn wind hadn't speckled his uncovered arm with goosebumps. "Oh."

The music that is her laughter rings over to him. 

"Well," he adds.

"Well, what? It’s odd, isn't it? Imagine the uproar at court, me touching your naked arm only separated by my glove. How scandalous." She's still giggling. "I'm just surprised. Traditional clothes usually are, well, traditional, because they serve a purpose over the years."

Link shrugs, shooting her a grin. "Maybe I just lost the other sleeve somewhere. You can ask around in Ordon if there's any deeper meaning about it. I'm sure they'll help you out."

"Oh, they'll just think I'm a weirdo from Castle Town asking odd questions."

"Well," he says in the flattest tone he has to offer and a push of his hips sends Epona flying.

Zelda shouts, urging her own horse after them. "You! Come back here!" 

"Nuh, nuh! Meet me at Ordon Spring if you lose track of me!"

"You wish!" 

Link leans closer to Epona's neck, her hooves thundering over the worn-out paths leading closer and closer home. Zelda’s cloak flaps in the wind behind him; they've raced through Hyrule Field often enough for him to know there's no real risk of losing her.

They reach the spring together. Nearly. Water splashes around them, their halt a little too late, a little too energetic. Link jumps from the saddle, offering a hand to Zelda and she slides directly into his arms. 

"Your feet are getting wet," he mumbles against her lips, but she makes no attempt to get out of the spring. 

"Is that so?" Cool water drops mingle with their kiss and too soon she pulls back. "Isn't this a sacred place? Maybe we shouldn't…"

“Shh… this isn’t the castle. There aren’t any bony old men who try to force their moral standards on us.”

She hums against his lips, hands finding his hair.

"Link!" A voice calls for him and unwillingly, Link detangles himself from Zelda. Epona trots towards the source of the voice in his stead.

"Oh, Ilia! Good to see you," he finally greets her. 

"Likewise. You're earlier than expected, I thought I'd manage to tend to the offerings for Ordona before you arrive." She combs her fingers through Epona's mane and pats her neck until she neighs, whispering, "Good girl." Still smiling fondly, she releases the horse again and crosses the distance between them. Link wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck; she smells like hay and pumpkins and home. "I've missed you, Ilia."

"Hah!" She chuckles. "Not enough to visit more often, I'd say."

"Sorry. We've been kinda busy. You've seen the destruction in Castle Town — it's a lot. But it’s good work, no worries."

He releases her, taking Zelda by the hand without having to look for where she is. "Ilia, this is Ella, my wife. I told you about her."

"Hi! I'm so thrilled to finally meet you, Ella. We are best friends, you know. Before this boy got all fancy and moved to Castle Town, that is." Ilia laughs, Zelda laughs, and Link exhales, the tension leaving his shoulders. 

"No worries, he hasn't forgotten about you and the others here," Zelda assures. "Would you mind taking care of Storm, too, as long as we're here? I heard that you have a soft spot for horses."

"Of course!" Ilia grows two inches.

They shift some of their belongings and Link shoulders everything they'll need for the short trip to his house. Ilia helps Zelda to change into dry shoes and then straps the wet boots to Link’s pack, leaning towards his ear. "You failed to write that she's the freaking most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"I told you, she's gorgeous," Link whispers back. 

"Yeah, but not like drop-dead gorgeous."

Link shrugs, a grin playing on his lips. He can't argue with that.

 

They leave the spring on foot, Ilia staying behind with the horses. 

"That went well," Zelda says over the squishing sound of Link's wet shoes. 

"Of course it did. Everyone will love you."

Zelda frowns at his shoes, but shakes her head. "As long as they don’t know who I am, yes. As soon as someone recognizes me, I’ll be nothing but the Queen of Hyrule for them, just like everywhere else.” She pauses. “I don’t want to complain, of course, but I’m surprised that she didn’t recognize me. She's lived in Castle Town for a while after all."

"Yeah, but she had amnesia and you were… Not exactly present." 

A shadow brushes over her face, but he holds her gaze. He isn't afraid of their past, never has been. Destiny has left its scars on them both, there's no point in denying that, but it doesn't mean they won’t heal.

She smiles, a little bit shaky, but her hand finds his, fingers entangling. The melancholy clings to them for a couple of strides, and Link basks in the calmness that rises from the forest and lingers between them comfortably.

They reach his house and ear splitting cries replace any sense of calmness. The children jump from the platform of the treehouse like a gang of assassins, clinging to their legs faster than either of them could ever move.

"Link, Link, Link!" They shout over the small clearing and, defeated, he lifts one after the other over his head and attacks them, tickling until they beg to be let down. Colin is the last.

Link throws him so high in the air that he nearly brushes through the deep hanging leaves of the trees. "Hey, big brother, are you well? I heard you're taking good care of your baby sis?"

Colin's eyes threaten to fall out from his place above Link's head. "That's what mum and dad write to you?"

"Yeah, is it not true?" Link catches him mid swing, plants him on the grass, and ruffles his hair. 

Colin puffs his chest out. "Of course, it is. I'm the best big brother there is in Ordon. Well." He grins sheepishly. "Maybe after you, Link. But then, me!"

"Nah, you're good." Link laughs, and introduces Zelda once more. "I want you all to be super nice to Ella, ok? She's new here and you all know that being the new one can be kinda scary sometimes. No pranks."

The kids, gathered around them, nodding solemnly, but he scans them a second time for good measure. Only Beth perks up. "Are you going to live here in your house?"

"For a couple of days, yes, and everytime we visit. We'll visit more often now, every few months, probably."

"Months? That's not very often."

"We'll try to come as often as possible, ok?" Zelda offers with a soft smile. 

That’s enough standing still for the gang and they skitter around them, poking the old training dummies and throwing tree nuts at each other. Only Beth is rooted to the spot, her eyes glued to Zelda.

"Ella?" She kneads the hem of her blouse.

"Hm?"

"Link said you are his wife, yes? Did you have a lovely dress for the wedding?"

"Oh," Zelda says and waves off. "My dress was awful, actually. So many layers that I could barely move and the trail had to be carried by a handful of people. Can you imagine that?"

"Oh." Beth doesn't look too happy.

Link bends down, holds a hand next to his mouth, and whispers extra loud, "She's lying. The dress was beautiful and she was breathtaking."

"Ooooh…" That's more suited to Beth's taste. She starts to pester Zelda with questions about the wedding and the dress, so that he has time to store their bags in his house. He wipes a hand over the surface of the table; it comes back clean. Ilia, the angel she is, has cleaned up for him. She even arranged a small bouquet and prepared tea cups. He chuckles to himself. Would she have settled for a simple wildflower arrangement too, if she knew who 'Ella' really was? His belly tingles. Their plan is nearly absurd… If they fail, Ilia will be upset, and rightfully so. But if it works… he gives the house a last glance and slides down the ladder. 

One down, two to go.

Outside again, Zelda offers her hand to an up-and-down jumping Beth, and Link ushers the rest of the gang towards the village. The first fallen autumn leaves crunch under their feet and Link inhales the scent of the forest as deep as he can. This smell filled into a bottle and stored for tiresome council meetings, that would be something. If he could still turn into a wolf that might even work…

"Did you know that Link dropped me when we danced?" 

Ahem. Link snaps his gaze back forward and joins the two with quick steps. Beth shakes her head rapidly, inhaling every word that comes from Zelda's mouth. 

He clears his throat. "I did not drop you! Your way of dancing is hella complicated and anyway, I caught you just in time! Did any part of you that wasn't supposed to touch the floor even brush it? Nah."

Zelda and Beth laugh so hard that their bellies shake and he blows a strand of hair out of his eyes. The nerve! As if he hasn't had enough trouble adjusting to court life and all the ridiculous rules that come with it. 

The kids run ahead, flailing their little arms and bursting through the doors, shouting into every house, "Link is finally here!" Even Beth abandons them and sprints to her mother's shop, dragging poor Sera out before she has time to brush cat fur from her clothes. 

"You're quite the name here," Zelda says with a smirk and pulls him closer, her hand trailing up his naked arm and her lips brushing the tip of his ear. 

"Well, I rescued them from scary monsters, I'm their Hero," he whispers against the soft skin of her cheek. It's a shame that everyone is out of the house in a matter of seconds.

"You know that's not why I fell for you." Her tone is a tiny bit more serious now, but Link can't resist. 

"My dancing skills were obviously not a point either."

She chuckles, purposefully close to his ear because she knows he loves her laugh more than anything else in the world. It was rare, at first, but even in its frequency, it’s not any less captivating. 

"Aye, look at that, the lovebirds finally made it home. Who would have thought that we would live to see it?" Mayor Bo approaches them with open arms and crushes them both in a bear hug. "Ella, right? Welcome to Ordon. If you're good enough for our boy, you're more than enough for the rest of us." He puts his giant hand on Zelda's shoulder and her knees wobble. Link holds his breath and squints one eye close; Mayor Bo is looking directly into her face now. "...and if he ever gives you trouble, don't hesitate to tell me. I'm an experienced Goron wrestler, I'll put him in his place."

"Uh, oh, that won't be necessary, Mayor Bo. Thank you for the warm welcome," Link says and exhales slowly. Two down, one to go. He pries her out of his grip, but they already have another pair of arms enveloping them. 

"Link! It's been too long. I can't believe you got married! Weren't you a reckless child just yesterday?"

"Uli," Link mutters, wiping her kisses from his cheek. "Please say hello to Ella."

This game of hugs, greetings, and introductions lasts for a while until the kids have finally dragged everyone to the center of the small village to greet them. Nearly everyone.

"We need to find Rusl," Zelda whispers beside him. "Everything has gone smoothly so far, I don't want to take a risk now."

Link answers with a sharp nod and guides her to Uli's house.

Colin opens the door on all fours, a toddler that must be Pripa hanging on his back. Wow, it really has been a while. The last time he saw her, Pripa could hardly curl her fist around his index. 

"I'm showing her how to ride!" Colin explains. "She wants to be a Hero just like us and every hero knows how to ride!"

Link grins and pats his head. He leans in to whisper to Zelda. “You think we should buy him a horse? I mean, it is a bit unfortunate that they’re so outlying and no one in the whole village has a horse.”

Zelda strokes a strand of hair from his forehead and smiles. He said something stupid, didn’t he?

“We can’t just give horses to someone. That would be favoritism. And don’t you think they’ll ask how you got a horse in Castle Town of all places? Not to mention that they’d wonder where the money came from.”

Link kicks the tip of his boot into the wooden floor. And what if he wants to favor them? Stupid royalty rules. What even is the perk of being the husband of the Queen of Hyrule if he can’t provide for his own family? 

“Colin, is your dad around, too? I haven’t seen him yet.” Zelda has already put his request behind her and strives forward with their mission. Hmpf. Very well, he’ll think of something later. 

“Rusl is out, collecting wood.” Uli leans against the doorway, circling a piece of dough in her hands as if she doesn’t even know it’s there. “We thought you'd arrive in the evening. But since you’re here now, you might as well make yourself useful in the kitchen.”

Zelda shares a look with him, but Link shrugs. Why not, it’ll only help to keep up their ruse.

Uli puts the dough aside and shuffles some kitchen clutter to make room for them. “Just peel that pile of apples, please. I've got everything ready, apart from the pie.”

Link snatches an apple and has it peeled in less than a minute. Zelda’s apple must be heavier than the rest, she weighs it in her hand, eyes hefted on him. Oh. Of course, she’s the Queen, after all. Link takes another apple, raises the knife, and makes a small cut for the beginning. Zelda shakily mimics his motions. 

A dough-sticky hand rests on hers. “Are you so nervous, darling, that you’ve forgotten how to peel an apple? There’s no need to be, truthfully. We love Link and we’ll welcome his wife with open arms, too.”

“Thank you.” Zelda takes the time to properly smile at Uli and tries again. “Uhm. It’s… I haven’t done that in a while. We… in our family… We just chop the apples. Without peeling them.”

Link raises his brows and blinks at her. That’s the freaking worst lie he’s ever heard. She’ll blow them up!

Uli laughs, wiping hair out of her eyes with her forearm. “Oh, I have to have a word with your Mama or whoever is responsible for baking in your house. You can’t bake something as delicate as a pie without peeling the apples! Funny folk in Castle Town.” She winks. Maybe they’re getting away with this. “Sometimes these country bumpkins know what they’re doing, heh? We might not be as fashionable, but we sure know how to cook.”

“I would be happy to learn from you, Uli.” Zelda stutters for more words, but nothing comes out. Maybe it’s for the better.

“Oh, you better do. Apple pie is Link’s favorite.” She closes the distance between her and Zelda, leaning in. “And from wife to wife — knowing how to make your man’s favorite food is always handy. You can get away with a lot as long as you spoil them rotten with what they love.”

Zelda chuckles, wide-eyed, a blush slowly creeping on her face.

“I can hear you, you know?” Link says, and pushes some of his peeled apples to the lonely fruit in front of Zelda. Maybe Uli won’t notice that she isn’t making any progress on her work.

“Oh, Link, don’t be a huffy pumpkin. It’s all in good spirits, you know that. Why don’t you look if Mayor Bo needs some help with the tent? You already know how to make apple pie, after all.”

Link presses his tongue to his teeth. Is it smart to leave Zelda alone? Then again, she has to get to know them all if they want to make everyone believe she’s Ella from Castle Town, so they might as well start with Uli. And if she really would bake him apple pie one day… hm. He glances at the battered fruit in front of her. One distant day. 

“Alright…”

He circles the table and presses a lingering kiss to Zelda’s lips. Uli giggles like a schoolgirl, but Link couldn’t care less. He’s going to kiss his wife where he wants and when he wants. At least in Ordon.

Outside, it doesn’t take long until the preparations of the village have absorbed him. He helps to drive piles for the tent into the ground, carries a wild mixture of tables, chairs, and benches into the tent, and puts the planks together, which they'll use as a dance floor. He doesn’t lose sight of Uli and Rusl’s house more than once or twice, but his mentor isn’t to be seen. 

Zelda joins him again after he’s finished with the dance floor. Uli has done something with her hair and now he can press kisses on her exposed neck. He likes that a lot. He does it a lot. The children, all but Beth, react with a variety of disgusted noises that even the music can't drone out, but Zelda melts everytime in his arms and that’s all that counts.

Someone puts goblets with wine in their hands, full, of course, not the half-empty glasses that the castle staff carried around on trays during the stiff tea party they had. Zelda raises her goblet to him, eyes lost in his and body entangled with him. "To the seclusion of the Ordon province," she says and her smirk disappears in the goblet and only resurfaces when she puts it down again, empty. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Holy Spirits, she's as desperate that this works out as he is. 

The music dims and Fado and Ilia climb on chairs next to the dance floor, holding something in their middle. They clip it to the roof of the tent and on three, they unroll it. Everyone in the tent cheers, the people behind them clap their shoulders, a goblet is thrown into the air, spilling wine on all bystanders. 

"Ella and Link," is written on the banner.

Link snorts so loud that Zelda kicks him.

She dances with him in his way and she's forgiven. He doesn't drop her, this time. 

At the food table, he suddenly has an arm around his neck and the arm is pressing too tight for a playful congratulation. Rusl. 

“A word. Now," he hisses over the music. 

Rusl walks him outside, just around the tent flap. He doesn't release him, on the contrary, his arm is firm around Link's nape and Link struggles in his grip. 

"Let me be!" 

"I'll release you when I'm finished with you, boy! Are you crazy or what? Bringing the Queen of Hyrule here without a proper guard, without anything?"

"I'm her guard," Link hisses through his teeth, pointlessly kicking against Rusl's heavy boots.

"You?" Rusl barks a laugh. "Yeah. That's why you told everyone you're her freaking husband."

"I am her husband!"

Rusl loosens his grip, but doesn't release him entirely. "Look, I understand that she needs a break from the court and all that. I get why you offered to go to Ordon, ok? But you can't run around and tell everyone you're married, if that comes out… I can't believe you even made us organize a party."

"But- I really am her husband!"

"Link, stop messing with me. Do you think I'm stupid? You don't just marry the freaking Queen of Hyrule! She's practically holy, some even believe she's a descendant of a Goddess—"

"I can see that, yeah." Link smirks, rubbing the strains on his neck. Holy, he'd argue, but a Goddess…

"I beg you, Link, take this seriously!"

"Oh, I'm dead serious about this. I'm her husband. Just ask her."

"I will."

"Good luck."

Rusl pushes him out of his grip, eyes narrowed. The silence that stretches has thorns. Link stares at the cloudy sky, wrestling with the urge to explain himself and his own pride. Why can't he just trust him? After everything they've done together for this Kingdom? As if he would do anything that puts Zelda at risk.

He has to win him over, though, for his sake, but for Zelda's, too. They need this to work. Two down, one to go.

He looks back at Rusl whose gaze is still hard and challenging.

Sighing, Link begins. "Look, I tried to find you earlier to talk to you but you were out and then we just—"

The flap of the tent flies open, slaps against the wall, and Zelda throws her arms around his neck. Whoa! He tastes the wine on her tongue, and she's making the kiss sweet and demanding at the same time. Goddesses, he loves that they can be so free here, that she just can come up to him half-drunk and kiss him like— wait. Rusl is still staring at him. At them.

He pushes Zelda back as gently as possible, brushing his lips a last time to hers. 

Rusl looks like a man who's going to be shot to an island in the sky by a cannon.

The grin on Link's face grows unbidden, but not unwelcome. If there has ever been a time for being smug, it's now. "Just ask right away," he challenges Rusl, arms wrapped around Zelda at the waist, fingers buried in the rough linen of her blouse. She giggles.

A sputtering noise comes from Rusl, his eyes darting over their intertwined bodies and their casual clothes. "You're a country boy, a ranch hand, a goat herder, Link. We don't even know who your parents were, you can't… by the Holy Three, she's the Queen!" He makes a lame gesture towards Zelda. "Apologize my bluntness, Your Majesty."

"That's what the council said, too. But Zelda gave them a chewing out, saying nobility comes from the heart and not from titles. So, yeah." He shrugs, grins lopsided, and pulls her closer. "We're married."

It takes a lot of face rubbing on Rusl's part to meet their eyes again. "Okay. Let's say, I believe this story, just for a second. Royal weddings are a huge affair. How come we didn't get an announcement? A letter, anything?"

"I understand your doubts, Rusl," Zelda answers smoothly like the diplomat she is. "We didn't feel an expensive wedding would be appropriate after spending so much money on rebuilding. It wouldn't have been right to tax the people for that, so we just did the religious necessities and a small tea party," she explains. "And please drop the titles, at least here in Ordon. You've done so much for my Kingdom, I wouldn't be here without you."

Rusl's face softens at the last sentences, but when he turns to Link, he looks… hurt. "And you, Link, didn't invite anyone from Ordon… because?"

Link swallows, hard. For weeks, he has pondered how to explain this and has still hoped the question wouldn't come up. "I—I didn't invite you all because I didn't want you to see me like that." 

Rusl's brows come close to touching. "What?"

"I mean, I hate how the people in Castle Town suddenly make a fuss when I show up and I… I don't want that. Not here, not with my folks. So I thought it would be better to celebrate with everyone here in Ordon, like we always have."

Zelda squeezes his arm, but he can't take his eyes off Rusl. He's quiet, shifting his weight, gaze flickering towards them and back.

"I'm sorry," Link whispers.

"No, I mean… it's… we couldn't really have made it to Castle Town." Rusl points his thumb toward his house. "With Pripa being so small and all. I just… I just never thought I'd miss one of your milestones, but hey, you aren't the wild boy with twigs in your hair anymore. It's… okay."

"Really?" 

"Of course. I'm happy as long as you're happy. You'll always be Link for us, no matter which fancy title they'll give you. What is it now, King?" It takes a moment, but then he snorts at that and Link can't blame him. 

"Nah." Link laughs and waves off. "Prince Consort. I'm much too impulsive to be King. But I still help!"

"Of course." Zelda grins. "He's good at scaring feisty requests off by scoffing at diplomats."

They all laugh good-naturedly at the pout on Link's face. 

Rusl pulls him into a hug so tight that his breath stutters. "Congrats, boy. Sorry for doubting you, but it was a bit hard to believe."

"Imagine my dumb face when she asked me to marry her," he whispers to Rusl, hoping Zelda doesn't hear him. She hates that he downplays himself and always counters if he needs a third princess to fall for him to believe he's something special.

Rusl congratulates Zelda, too, but can't bring himself to hug her. He offers an awkward handshake. Zelda smiles it away, the corner of her mouth twitching. "Welcome to the family," Rusl says and means it, eyes sincere and treacherously moist. Zelda's smile grows, but Link can practically see her tongue pressed to the roof of her mouth. 

She slips back into the tent and Link is nearly right after her, but then Rusl's arm holds him back. Rusl stares at the banner. "Ella? What's the meaning of this?"

Oh. Oh.

Link pulls at his arm without success. "Uhm. It's… well. Castle life is… tiresome. The work and the nobles and we can't even touch in public… so we…" 

Rusl's hand tightens. "You have what?"

"Aha, well, you see, in the letter I wrote to Mayor Bo saying I'll come home to celebrate my wedding with you all… We… changed her name. And in the letters to Ilia, too."

A pair of eyes, gray and suddenly very tired, bore into him, Link's arm now falling back to his side. "Explain."

"Nobody here knows she's the Queen. She's just Ella from Castle Town for everyone."

"And you want me to play along."

"You're the only one who knows her, yes. She's safe here, you know that. It's our only chance to live like a normal couple every few months. Please."

The chilly autumn wind blows through the gap between them and toys with the tent flap. Rusl drives his hands into his hair, ruffles his headband, and pulls it in place again, hair all messy. "Shit."

Link holds his breath for what must be the tenth time today. Please.

"I hate this." 

"I know."

"One day, someone will find out. We're secluded but still part of the Kingdom."

"I know."

"You're crazy."

"I know."

"I hate this."

"You said that already."

"I know."

The conversation is over without one of them having to state it. Rusl wraps his arm around his shoulder and together, they enter the party. A squeeze is all he'll get, but it's Rusl's way to tell him he's proud and supports him. And honestly, Link wouldn't know what to say either.

Three down, none to go.

Zelda abandons her conversation with Ilia and Fado for a dance with him. "And here we go, perfect hideout from castle nonsense. Rusl agreed to keep quiet."

"Oh, I was afraid he wouldn't. He was quite agitated when he pulled you from the food table."

Link chuckles into her ear. "Quite agitated, huh? No one will suspect a thing if you keep talking like this."

She threads her fingers into his hair and pulls him a smidge backward so that he has to meet her eye. "Steamed. Better?"

"Yeah, totally. Kiss me, wife, before more dirty words come out of your filthy mouth."

She does and behind them, Fado whistles and some other clap. Link raises a hand to them without opening his eyes.

It takes him another song to realize that Zelda isn’t dancing as she previously was. Her movements are jerky, her hands cold and weak. "What's up? Wanna take a break to talk?"

She silently shakes her head and presses her face into his neck. He changes their dance to a slow circling, arms wrapped around her waist. “It’s the handshake, right? He would have hugged you, too, if he thought you were Ella.”

“Yes.” Her voice is small and he has to press her closer to him to hear her over the music. Mayor Bo has found a drum somewhere and is unstoppable. 

“Give him time to warm up to the idea.”

“Link, you don’t understand. Even the few friends I’ve known for my whole life see me as royalty first. It’s the reason I was drawn to you the moment you came back to the castle. It was so refreshing to be seen as a person.”

He chuckles and kisses the tip of her ear. “Who would have thought that my ill manners of all things were what made me attractive, huh?”

She pulls back, face very serious, but then she breaks into a fit of giggles. “You also have nice abs.”

“Oh, is that so, wife?” They’re laughing more than dancing now, but nobody cares and that is exactly the reason they’re here.

The party is over much too soon, but they've had a long day of riding behind them and can't deny the tiredness any longer. On the way back, he frowns at the goosebumps that cover his naked arm. Only one sleeve is a bit of a stupid concept, why hasn't he noticed before? Maybe he should wear his winter clothes tomorrow. With two sleeves.

The chill that runs over his back, however, has nothing to do with the cold. He pulls Zelda closer to him, ignoring her giggle. The weight of a gaze rests on him. He rotates his head, slowly. Zelda doesn't need to know yet that something is off. With his other hand, he fingers for his dagger. No one will get a hand on his wife. Not in Hyrule and surely not at home.

"Good night, Your Majesty." There, on the ladder of his tree house! The shadow… is a bit small for an assassin, though. And that voice… Link shoves the dagger back into the sheath.

"Malo. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Hero, as you surely know, this is my hometown just as it’s yours." His face is still partly obscured by the dark of the night but Link has been in too many dungeons to find him more than a little scary.

Link scratches his neck. "Ok, nice to see you, Malo, but we would really like to, I mean, don't you have to be in bed or something? It's way past midnight."

A pebble hits Link's forehead. "Ow!"

"In contrast to you, I don't sleep when there's business to do."

"This is the ladder of my house."

"Well observed."

Link looks at Zelda for help, but she shrugs, yawning excessively into her hand. 

"Ok, would you please move so that we can go home? We had a long day."

"We? You and Ella, huh?"

Oh. Oh, shit. Zelda freezes beside him. They’ve made it through a whole belated wedding party without Zelda getting recognized! He didn’t even slip once with the fake name, she managed to cut her royal manners down without raising suspicions, and they kissed nearly as much as they wanted the whole day! And now… Oh Goddesses, this stupid kid is going to blow it all up for them. Ilia, Mayor Bo, Rusl. How could they forget about Malo! 

He has to fix this somehow. Stop whining, Link. No way that they’re giving up now, a weekend of domestic bliss, of normality every few months within their grasp.

He has stared down top diplomats from all over the land, he can take a kid on. "Malo, I'm sure you understand how important it is that nobody knows who Ella is. It's… a matter of safety."

Malo crosses his arm in front of his chest and tips his chin up. "Safety, sure. But hey, safety is of utmost importance, so that's going to be expensive."

"Blackmailing the Queen of Hyrule, the kid has balls," Link mutters.

"He's just a kid, don't be so hard," Zelda answers equally quietly. "What about 10 rupees for sweets?" she shouts up the ladder.

"100 rupees, and only because Link is a good customer. Each visit anew, of course." He leans down. "And in advance, the next time." 

"Zelda, that's insane."

"It is," she hisses and frees herself from his arm. "Come down," she commands in a tone that even Malo can't refuse.

An evil grin spreads on Link's face. She's going to teach him a lesson on proper behavior toward royalty. Never again will he harass him during a visit to Malo Mart. 'Time is money, if you're done shopping, quit wasting both.' Ha! Oh, this is going to be fun. He loves watching his wife putting people in place. 

Eh? But what's that? Something orange glitters in the dim light of the night, passing from a small hand to an even smaller one. She bends down to whisper and whisper in Malo’s ear. Link's knees wobble. The evil grin has hopped to Malo's face now and he passes him, muttering, "Always a pleasure doing business with you, Hero."

Oh, he'll pay for that; the next time Link is in his shop, he'll take up all the extra time and space he needs!

Link flies up the ladder. "So, Colin can’t get a horse, but Malo gets his height worth in rupees, yes? You lecture me again about favoritism."

She peels his sleeve from his arm with ginger fingers, making him shiver. "Oh, you misunderstood. That had nothing to do with favoritism.”

“Ha ha.” 

“No, really, it was a backroom deal. I gave him money to spread false rumors among the merchants about our destination when we leave for Ordon.”

Link hums. Reasonable enough, although he still doesn’t like throwing money at Malo’s wicked grin.

“Oh, and I also… helped him realize that he needs some kind of courier because traveling between Ordon, Castle Town, and Kakariko will take up too much time he needs for the business. I’m sure Colin can take the job up if Rusl trains him.”

Link looks at her, hoping she can decipher his love-struck face as the pure adoration it is. “And that would mean Colin needs a horse.”

Her eyes glitter. “Oh? Now, let’s hope Malo keeps putting half of the money aside to buy him one.”

He sinks his face into her hair, his voice coming out muffled. “You are a true Queen, you know that?”

“No, no.” She laughs and combs her fingers through the hair on his nape. “Just your wife from Castle Town who can’t even peel an apple.”