Work Text:
Saturday, August 6th 5:36 pm
Raphael let out a breath as he gazed down at his brothers. The three were crying, holding on to each other with joy and relief. His eyes moved to stare up at the early evening sky, a soft breeze making his mask tails flutter about. It was still full of smog from the technodrome and yet the glimmering sunset showed clear as day. They'd won. They'd really won. The Krang was defeated, pushed back into a realm where he could do the earth no harm. His family, his home, his planet… They were safe.
All that was left was to tend to their injuries. A smile formed on his lips as he moved to scoop his siblings in his arms. Holding them close to him in a hug, Raph let out a sigh. He'd done his job. He'd protected them. The thought alone was enough to ease the pounding of his heart and the nervousness bubbling in his stomach. They could all rest now. Everything was going to be okay…
"...Raph…?" The voice sounded strained, almost like they were in pain. It made Raph frown. Fluttering open eyes he hadn't known he'd shut, the snapper gazed down at the source. It was Leo. The slider was giving him a trembling smile, face scrunched up in mild discomfort.
"I know you were worried, bud. But, uh…Kinda squeezing a little tight there…" Raph gasped and gently placed his brothers back down.
"Oh, man. Sorry, Leo! W-We should probably get you checked out, huh?" Donnie let out a small laugh at Raph's statement before shaking his head and pulling his goggles down over his eyes. The genius quickly scanned each of his brothers, humming to himself occasionally and folding his arms. Raph was about to ask the softshell what exactly was it that he was looking for when the genius let out a loud sigh.
"So", he huffed as he pushed his goggles back onto his head. "It looks like you all need to be checked out. None of you look too good. Raph, that includes you as well." The snapper frowned and shook his head. He was fine. He felt great, honestly. On top of the world. It was probably due to the mystic energy still buzzing beneath his skin, but still. Raph didn't need to be taken care of. His brothers did. The elder of the four opened his mouth to say just that when his vision suddenly swam.
A shooting pain blossomed behind his right eye and he could feel bile steadily creep up his throat. A groan left the snapper's lips and he clamped a hand on his mouth, swallowing hard. His eyes rolled and he felt his body tip to the side ever so slightly before he threw his hands out to catch himself. A hiss escaped him, having caught himself on his injured arm. Well, at least he could feel it now…
Several shouts of alarm were heard around him, but he ignored them as he tried regaining control of his pounding heart. Raph clenched his teeth and let out a breath through his nose. He breathed in and out deeply, feeling the pain behind his eye slowly ebbing away. Several more minutes passed before he could feel himself become steady once more. Okay… That was weird. 'Probably the adrenaline leaving me' , he mused while lifting a hand to stop Mikey's concerned murmuring. 'Is it supposed to leave that fast though…?'
"Raphael…?" With a grunt, the snapper lifted his head and met his father's worried gaze. When had he gotten here…? Splinter moved to place a hand against his cheek, the coolness of his palm making Raph sigh.
"Are you alright, my son?" He gave him a small nod and slowly moved to stand on shaky legs, April and Casey holding out their arms in case he fell. When had they gotten here? His voice was a raspy whisper as he spoke.
"I'm fine, pops. Adrenaline just wore off 'n all… How's Leo, Don…?" Raph didn't want the attention on him. His family needed to be treated first. The softshell stiffened up slightly at the attention suddenly being shifted onto him, before clearing his throat.
"He's got a concussion, a few shell fractures, and a few broken ribs. All fixable with time. However ." Donnie glared up at his older brother, arms folded and face wary. "What the hell was that , Raph? That didn't look like adrenaline wearing off." His tone was harsh and skeptical, eyes constantly roaming about the snapper's features. His brother was obviously worried about him and it made Raph's heart ache a little.
"I'm fine, Dee. We need to focus on you guys for right now, though. Okay?" With that, the snapper moved to gently scoop the slider into his arms. It was Leo's turn to make a fuss, weakly pushing against the elder turtle's plastron and shaking his head.
"You need to listen to Donnie, Raph. Isn't one of your arms dislocated or something?" His words slurred together ever so slightly. Definitely a concussion. The snapper just shook his head. He was determined to carry his brother, dislocated shoulder be damned. It was the least he could do, after all. Raph turned to face his father then.
"Dad, how'd you guys get here? You stole a van or something?" Splinter frowned up at his son before sighing and giving him a nod. He led the group towards the parked vehicle in an alleyway. Raph kept a firm grip on his brother in his arms and tried to ignore how his knees wobbled a bit with every step he took. He couldn't appear weak right now. His job wasn't done yet, despite what he'd thought earlier. Not until everyone was safe and patched up.
"We found a truck and drove it here because Purple called us." Making it to the truck, the snapper gently laid Leo down onto the tonneau. The slider let out a whine, mumbling about everyone "making a big deal out of nothing". Mikey and Casey went to sit beside him, making sure to keep him awake and lucid. Donnie left via his tech and April went to sit in the driver's seat. Before Raph could hop in beside his brother, his father pulled him aside. His whiskers twitched nervously, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Are you truly alright, Red…?" Raph huffed and nodded his head. He was starting to get a little annoyed, honestly. His father twisted his mouth in uncertainty and continued to stare at him for a bit before shrugging leaving him to sit in the passenger seat. The ride to the lair was mostly silent. Well, as silent as it could be with Mikey trying to crack jokes in order to keep Leo from falling asleep. The rest of the day was a blur from then on.
Pain was racing throughout the snapping turtle's body, making the ability to focus near impossible. The only thing Raph could really recall happening was him denying Donnie of thoroughly scanning him for serious internal injuries. For some strange reason, he couldn't allow it to happen. Just the thought of the softshell seeing something possibly be wrong with him made him shudder. The genius relented after Raph saying no for the nth-teen time, patching him up and sending him to his room.
Once he was alone and safe behind the curtain of his room, the snapper let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Raph moved to sit on his bed and stared hard at the plushies beside him. He lifted a hand up to softly brush against the hole on his shell, down to the bandages wrapped around the wound on his shoulder, and down to the crack on his plastron. All of the memories of recent events came crashing down on him all at once, the once silent room turning into a cacophony.
It made his pulse quicken, heartbeat thudding loudly in his ears and hands shaking. His throat felt dry and he swallowed hard, his stomach gurgling almost violently. The shooting pain was back, the vision in his right eye blurring. Raph's breath was starting to come out in pants and he pressed a hand against his eye, trying to will away the throbbing pain that ricocheted in his skull. Was he…panicking…? 'No. No, this is almost like what had happened earlier…'
The snapper's stomach started to churn and he could feel that icky feeling creep up in his chest. He was going to throw up. With shaky hands and vision wavering, Raph fumbled to grab the small trash can beside his dresser. As soon as he raised it to his lips, he began to heave and choke as the contents of his stomach was emptied into the can. Chest tight and tears running down his cheeks, Raph let out a choked gasp. It took several minutes before his heaving turned into coughs, body slowly relaxing.
Raph lifted his head from the bin, humming and grunting in an attempt to clear his throat. He brought up a hand to wipe at his tears, a sigh escaping him. The familiar feeling of exhaustion started to perch itself on his shoulders, making his body slump forward a bit. The snapper held the trash can in his lap in case he started to feel sick again, turning his head away from the smell. What was going on? This felt worse than it had earlier. Raph frowned and rubbed a hand over his face. It didn't make any sense. He hadn't even gotten banged up that badly so, he shouldn't be feeling any of this. Whatever this was had to stop. It needed to stop.
"...See, this is why I insisted on doing a full body scan." The voice made Raph jump, a yelp lodging itself in his throat as he whirled his head towards his makeshift door. It was Donnie, the softshell leaning against the opening with arms crossed and a frown gracing his lips. Pushing himself forward, he moved to stand in front of the snapper. Donnie placed his hands on his hips and huffed.
"Are you ready to let me work on you? Because this-", he gestured to the trash bin sitting in between Raph's hands, "-is gross and not at all normal." Raph snorted out a laugh and placed the bin down on the floor. He tried not to wince at how hoarse his voice sounded.
"I'm pretty sure it's normal to feel sick after adrenaline wears off, Dee." The snapper knew this was true. He had googled it in the past before. The genius rolled his eyes and moved to sit beside his brother, eyes straying to gaze into the discarded bin in disgust.
"That's not what I was referring to, Raph . Adrenaline doesn't just leave a person's body that quickly. Something's going on internally, I just know it. How about letting me check you out now, hm?"
"How about no? I'm fine, Donnie. I'll get better. Just focus on Leo, Mikey, and yourself." Donnie grumbled and folded his arms.
"Why are you so focused on checking me out, huh?" The softshell glanced over at the snapper before grunting and pointing towards the trash bin. Raph raised a brow in confusion. What about the stupid bin? What did that have to do with anything? He's sure that his younger brother could sense his obliviousness because the genius just sighed. When he opened his mouth though, it made Raph's stomach drop just a bit. Something akin to fear was creeping up in his chest and he gulped down the lodge in his throat.
"Some of that vomit is blood, Raphael."
Tuesday, September 27th 3:09 pm
It's been over a month. A whole month and Raphael felt like shit. Well, perhaps that was an overstatement. Not entirely like shit but, he definitely wasn't in top shape. It was weird, considering he and his brothers healed faster than humans. An advantage of being a mutant, he supposed. His brothers were all healed up. Well, Leo still had some issues with his breathing but, other than that they were all healthy. It should make sense that Raph would feel better after all this time as well. However, the constant pounding behind his right eye and the exhaustion that remained in his bones day and night said otherwise.
Donnie practically begged Raph to let him check for internal problems every day. Yet, every day the snapper's answer would remain the same. Something in him was keeping him from letting his brother help. He wasn't sure what exactly, but he knew he just couldn't. Raph mused that it had to be some weird pet peeve or something. 'Not that I really like being scanned to begin with' , he thought as he trudged towards the training room.
The snapper hadn't had a proper workout in weeks and he was tired of Donnie constantly hovering over him. The softshell kept telling him to rest and take it easy, but Raph was growing restless. Lucky for him, his younger brother was out with April for the day, giving him plenty of time to work up a good sweat.
"Time for some training, Raph. You have a lot of work to do to get back in top shape." Giving himself an encouraging slap on his face, the snapping turtle strided into the room, only to stop in his tracks when he saw Mikey practicing on a wooden dummy. The box turtle was focused as he struck hard, blocking the pegs that spun to hit him and delivering quick blows. Raph's eyes strayed to the black and orange arm sleeves on his brother's hands. 'Good to know they're working alright.'
Donnie had made Mikey stabilizers for the tremors he'd developed after opening the portal to save Leo. The snapper had felt terrible to learn he'd gotten hurt, but the softshell was quick to ensure that his condition wouldn't be permanent.
"Heya, Raph! How long have you been here?" Shaking his head, Raph looked back over at Mikey and smiled. The younger was grinning ear to ear, wiping off sweat with a towel and taking a sip of water. He stepped over towards his brother and let out a chuckle, patting his head.
"Not too long, Mikey. How're your hands doing?" The orange clad turtle let out a hum and glanced down at his hands.
"Pretty good, actually. Dee said I should be back to normal in another week or two." The statement made Raph sigh out in relief, the worries he'd pinned in the back of his mind easing somewhat. Mikey looked back up at his brother with a gleam in his eyes, grin widening.
"You here to train? Oh, oh! Wanna train with me?!" The younger turtle was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he stared up at Raph excitedly. The sight made the snapper warm inside and who was he to say no to his little brother? Raph grinned and nodded his head.
"Sure thing, little man", he said while moving to step away from the box turtle. He brought his fists up and gave a small chuckle. "Let's see what you got, Mikes! Good ol fist fight, yeah?" Raph knew the younger would be able to handle him in one. Michaelangelo was way, way stronger than he let on, after all. Mikey whooped with joy and flung his water bottle and towel to the side, moving to stand across from his brother. With a cheerful "cowabunga", the fight began.
Mikey charged at the snapper and crouched down, swinging his leg to sweep the elder off his feet. Raph stumbled before doing a back-flip to avoid falling to the ground. With a shout, the snapper brought up a fist and aimed it at the other's plastron. Mikey brought his fist up to block, but managed to still get knocked backwards. He grunted and ran to flip on top of the elder's shoulders, jumping off to kick him harshly from behind. Raph fell to the floor before rolling over and gripping his brother's leg, tossing him across the room. Mikey let out a yelp as he fell onto a safety mat before using the momentum to stand on his feet once more. He let out a chuckle and brought up his fists once more.
"That all you got, Raphie?"
The battle went on for almost half an hour, no closer to a decisive winner than earlier. Raph could feel himself begin to tire, his breath coming out in light pants and body growing sluggish. It was no wonder he was, what with Donnie restricting him from doing anything too strenuous. The effects of no action was beginning to show an embarrassing amount. The snapper tried to keep up as best he could, dodging more and moving on to defense rather than offense. Mikey was unrelenting, however. He was too quick and his hits were too harsh. The snapper could feel his plastron start to ache a bit from the elbow jab he'd received after dodging the wrong way. Raph wasn't sure if he should be grateful that the younger turtle was pushing his limits or not. However, he wasn't able to think much of it soon after he charged at Mikey again.
The world seemed to tip on its axis and Raph's vision suddenly swam. Once again, the shooting pain pulsed behind his eye and his head felt like it was splitting open. The lights in the training room were suddenly too bright, painfully bright and it made him groan. The last thing he could fully register was his brother's alarming shout before the room went dark, his body colliding into the floor with a loud thud.
When Raph opened his eyes, he was met with his bedroom ceiling. His hands fumbled with the sheets underneath him and he blinked a few times to clear the fog clouding his vision. Where was Mikey? Why was he in his bedroom…? A groan left his lips as the skull splitting headache returned full force. He clenched his teeth and let out a hiss, slowly trying to sit up. A hand on his plastron pushed him back down onto the mattress and he let out a yelp in surprise. Glancing over at the source, he was met with a frowning Donatello and Leonardo.
Donnie had been the one to push him down, eyebrows scrunched up in what Raph assumed to be frustration. Leo had his arms crossed, concern gleaming in his eyes. Mikey was beside the softshell, tears threatening to fall as he gazed down at the snapper. It made his heart clench and guilt rumble in his stomach. He'd done something to make them worried, hadn't he? Donnie was the first to speak, voice clipped and wavering in what sounded like restrained anger.
"I thought I'd told you no training, Raphael . Why do you never listen…?"
"I'm fine, Dee", he rasped, trying to will away the pounding in his skull for now. "Honest. I think I'm just tired and I just needed to sleep it o-"
"Raph, you fainted. Fainted !" It was Mikey who had spoken, glare heavy with worry and hitting Raph in the chest like a brick. "That wasn't normal! Why didn't you tell me that Donnie said you needed to rest?! You've been knocked out for four hours!" The elder turtle could feel a frown tugging at his lips.
"It's really not a big de-"
"Raph, for once in your life, please just shut up and listen", Leo snapped with a snarl on his face. It rocked Raph to his core. "Dee told us everything that's been going on. You've been sick for weeks and throwing up blood ?? That's not normal! Not even close to normal! You need to stop bitching and let him scan you. This isn't up for debate and we will restrain you if we have to."
Raph gaped in shock at the serious look on his brothers' faces before glancing down at the hand on his chest with a frown. He was the oldest. Why was he being chastised like a… like a child …? It made him feel small, in a way that he hadn't felt since he actually was a child. Nevermind that, but it was his body, dammit! His . With a defiant glare, Raph sat up and pushed the blankets off of him. His brothers moved to push him back down, but he wasn't going down so easily. The snapper pushed his brothers away harshly before standing up and glowering at the three. The pain in his skull only got worse, moving to his eye, but he ignored it. His voice was cold and harsh as he spoke, surprising not only his brothers but himself as well.
"I said I'm fine . Don't touch me, don't scan me, and definitely don't tell me what to do. I'm the oldest here. I can do whatever the hell I want to and I certainly don't need you to hover over me. You even think about scanning me and I… won't h-hesitate… I won't… I…"
He didn't finish what he wanted to say. The next thing he knew, his vision blurred and the pain in his head seemed to become ten times worse than before. He could hear panicked screeches of his name, the world spinning once more. Raph's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he felt his body drop down to the floor
Raphael found himself in a dark and vast space. He was floating, drifting off into who knows where. The void was eerie and deathly quiet. It made goosebumps raise on his arms and he brought a hand up to rub nervously at the back of his neck. What the hell was going on? Where was he? Where was his family…? The snapper could feel tears pricking behind his eyes and he let out a shaky breath.
"Why is this happening", he whimpered as he curled himself into a ball. The tears finally fell from his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. He couldn't understand what was going on with him anymore. Everything was falling apart and he wasn't sure how to pick it back up. Soft cries left his lips as he continued to drift in the dark expanse of the void. Suddenly, he could hear a low, throaty chuckle. A sound that rattled in his brain and made ice crawl in his veins. It was terribly familiar and his muscles tensed almost instantly. His heart hammered in his chest as he straightened himself out and moved his head towards the source of the sound.
There floating with his arms crossed before him was none other than Krang Prime. Raph could feel his whole body shake with fear and he quickly forced himself to pull it together. 'How is he here?', his mind screamed at him and he slowly tried to float away. As long as he stayed away, it couldn't hurt him. The alien's exo-suit just shook its head, almost like he knew what the snapper was thinking. In the blink of an eye, it appeared in front of him. Raph let out a gasp and brought a hand up to punch him, anything to get him away from him, only for his fist to phase right through.
"Imbecile", Krang spat as he rolled his eyes. "You cannot harm me here, nor I you. This is only a connection of the mind." Raph snarled and pulled his fist back, eyes wary of the alien in front of him. What kinda trick was he up to anyways?
"What's up with this?! Why aren't you in the prison realm?!" Krang rolled his eyes once more.
"I knew you were an idiot compared to the rest of you cretins. But, surely, I expected you to be able to at least hear. " Watching as the alien crossed its arms, the snapper could feel a white hot pulsing sensation in his right eye. It made him groan out in pain before he glared harshly at the pink menace. Krang only gave a barking laugh, a grating sound that irritated Raph to no end.
"As I've stated", he continued with a haughty grin,"This is only a connection of the mind. My body is still in the prison realm, no thanks to you… pests ." This made the snapper grin, a taunting gleam in his eyes.
"Funny how you got played twice. Guess you guys weren't as good as you thought."
"Go on. Laugh while you still can. It brings me great joy to know that it won't be this way for long." The snapping turtle raised an eyebrow at this. What was this guy going on about? And, how did he even start a mind connection with this guy? Raph grew silent and racked his brain for any reason that had given him the ability to talk to the alien warmonger. 'Well, in movies it's always because…wait…' The snapper whirled his eyes back onto Krang, the pink alien giving him a toothy grin. Like he already knew what Raph had figured out.
"Y-You… I took the eye out though… I got rid of it, I-I made sure of it…! …H-How…?" Krang shook his head and flashed the snapper with wild eyes. Raph was going to be sick. The alien warmonger's voice rattled in his brain, his words dancing on the edge of a cackle.
"The gift I bestowed upon you was glorious and unlike any I've gifted before. It shall be a part of you, always, until your very last breath ." The next words Krang spoke had Raph reeling, stomach clenching painfully tight and skull screaming in agony. Suddenly, he was being pushed far, far away from the alien. Raphael gave a blood curdling scream as he felt his body being thrown deeper into the void. The only thing he could hear was his own voice and the throaty cackle of the monster he'd spoken to ring loudly in his head.
Screams tore from his lips as he thrashed about, eyes wide open and rolling as he sat up abruptly. His heart hammered in his chest, pounded in his ears and he could feel his throat closing up. Raph coughed hard, hacking and choking as he tried to free whatever was lodged in his throat. A hand landed hard on the back of his shell, helping to get rid of the feeling. A few more coughs was all it took to free him of whatever was choking him, wetness dripping onto his closed fist.
The snapper was panting heavily, eyes lidded and dizziness washing over him. His vision was blurry and he blinked rapidly to clear it. Raph's eyes roamed about, taking in his surroundings. He smelled the faint scent of disinfectant and heard small beeping noises. The medbay. He was in the medbay… Groaning, the snapping turtle looked over towards whoever had helped him earlier. It was Donnie and… Why did he look so scared…? Raph watched as the softshell raised a shaky hand, eyes wide and lips trembling. His voice was wavering as he spoke, a stutter in his words.
"R-Raph… You, Y-You…" His brother pointed and Raph tried hard to focus as he looked in the direction the genius was pointing. The sight made his eyes nearly pop out of his skull, attention fully on what had shaken his brother so much. Raphael's hand, his plastron, and the gurney was covered in blood.
November 10th, Thursday 8:30 pm
Donatello grimaced as he glanced behind him, an ache settling itself in his chest. Raphael was running behind them -a little too far behind-, his breathing labored and sweat dripping nonstop. The brothers were on a mission tonight, a police sighting of a penguin mutant with ice powers springing the team into action. They'd all gone over the plan for a week now, Leo making sure everyone knew their respective roles in the plan. Well, everyone… except for Raph.
Originally, the brothers had decided it'd be best if the snapper stayed home and rested. But, of course, he refused to go back home. He kept insisting that they had to do it as a team, but Donnie wasn't so sure about how he was going to keep up. His condition hadn't cleared up. In fact, it had gotten worse . Worse than it had been before. Donnie had done everything in his power to help his older brother but there was little he could do when his data he'd collected from the snapper showed…nothing. It showed absolutely nothing and the softshell was at a loss for words.
How could his scanners pick up nothing when his brother was clearly sick? Raph's complexion had paled, random bruises littered his body like tattoos, and he looked as though he were shrinking. Shrinking . His big, strong, overprotective brother was looking more and more fragile as the days passed and it was breaking him. Donnie offered medicine he felt would help and stayed with Raph almost every night, scared to leave him alone. And the worst part? His brother looked so… happy … Like he was okay with his situation. Like it was okay that he seemed to be fading -
"That's it. Raph, go home right now." Donnie snapped out of his thoughts and looked over towards Leo. The slider was glaring at their big brother, tone firm and eyes portraying worry. Raph panted heavily as he placed a shaky hand against his plastron. Large bags were under his eyes and the genius had to look away before another piece inside him broke. The snapper's voice was soft, a wheezy breath that had even Mikey turning away.
"No, Leo… Gotta do this together. I-I can keep up…" His twin groaned before shaking his head and folding his arms.
"Raph, this isn't up for debate. I get that you wanna help but, frankly, you're too weak right now. You're sick. Go home and rest up. This isn't a suggestion, it's an order ." Donnie sucked in a breath. It wasn't every day that Leo went around flinging orders. He was the leader now, sure. But, he had yet to actually act upon that status change. Today, it seemed, was the day he did. The softshell gazed over at his big brother, watched as his shoulders tensed before he stood up straight. Leo was sighing now, going over to place a gentle hand on the snapper's arm. The slider's voice was gentle as he spoke and Donnie watched Raph's face, unable to read his emotions.
"I know you want to do this together, big guy. But, I need you in your best shape for future missions. You'll never get better if you don't stop and rest." The softshell watched as his twin whipped out one of his swords, slicing through the air and bringing a portal to life. "It's only for tonight, Raph. If you come, we'll only be worrying about your health the whole night. I promise to pick you up your favorite food later, yeah? Just…please? Go home."
Raph blinked down at Leo before glancing over at his other two brothers and Donnie could feel himself shrink under the sad look that glossed over his features. It was only for a second before it melted away and was replaced with a warm smile. He hated that smile. With a nod, the snapper moved to walk over to the portal.
"Alright, Leo… Just, be careful, yeah? I don't wanna be worrying about you guys all night either." The slider let out a small chuckle and gave the elder turtle a quick hug before watching him vanish inside the portal. As it closed, Donnie could feel a nagging tick in the back of his mind. Was it truly okay for them to leave Raph alone…?
November 20th, Sunday 1:38 am
"Raph? Why are you still up?" Donnie glared up at the snapper who stood in the middle of his room. Raph let out a squeak before turning to face his younger brother, a sheepish smile dancing on his lips.
"U-Um… I was just going to… g-go to the bathroom…? Yeah! The bathroom… heh."
"...Riiight. He said not at all suspicious." Donnie moved inside his brother's room and placed the tray of medication he'd been carrying down on the snapper's dresser. Days passed since the mission incident and Raph had started to stay in bed more than usual. It was hard for him to even stay up for longer than five hours now and Donnie did everything he could to try and alleviate whatever was ailing his big brother. With a sigh, he turned to face Raph, the elder of the two giving an awkward chuckle.
"Come on now, hurry up. I haven't got all day. I'll wait for you to come back." His brother gave him a relieved smile before walking out of the room. The softshell sighed and moved to sit on his brother's bed. Seconds ticked by as he waited for his brother and he couldn't help but let his mind wander off. Thoughts of whether or not Donnie was actually helping. About whether or not Raph would continue to get sicker. About whether or not Raph would live this through…
'Stupid' , his mind grumbled as he slapped a hand against the side of his head. 'He's gonna survive this. He has to. He…He'll get better…' A dip in the bed was enough to shake him out of his thoughts. Raph sat next to him, holding out a hand as he waited for the medication that Donnie always came to give him. After handing the pills and glass of water to his brother, the softshell watched him intently to make sure he'd taken them all. Raph wasn't always fond of medication and it was always up to Donnie to make sure he would actually take them.
The silence was loud then, the only sound being the snapper's occasional sips of water. Minutes went by and Donnie took the time to study his brother's features. Every spike, every ridge, every expression he made. He needed to remember it all. 'He's not dying. Stop doing that.'
"...Dee?" The genius blinked before focusing his attention on the elder turtle. Raph was looking down at him with a small smile on his face, eyes shining with what looked like understanding… What was the need for that look…?
"Can you sleep here tonight?" The question had him blinking, confusion twisting his brows. It took a while to register in his brain what the elder was asking of him but when he realized, he was too quick to nod his head. 'Stop acting like this is the last time you'll see him. He's gonna be okay.' Raph beamed at him and Donnie could feel something stirring in his chest. The softshell left to put on pajamas and came back to Raph patting the side of his bed.
Donnie flicked off the lights and slid underneath the blankets beside his brother. For some reason, the softshell could feel a ringing in his ear. Raph sighed and Donnie suddenly became aware of how much space he had on the bed. The snapper wasn't even taking up half of it-
"Can… Can I hug you…?" Who said that…? Oh, wait. It had been Donnie… He heard as Raph let out a breathy chuckle.
"Sure thing, bud." And Donnie would never admit how he'd been so quick to do exactly that. He flung his arm around the elder's plastron and pressed his cheek into his shoulder, pulling him close. His waist… Raph's waist was too small. Donnie could fit his whole arm around it-
"I'm sorry, Don…" The apology had made the softshell stop breathing. He blinked and struggled against the darkness to focus on the snapper's hand holding his own. His voice had come out in a breathy whisper, a small thing that held so much… exhaustion … Donnie swallowed the lump in his throat before giving a quiet hum.
"Whatever for, Raph…?"
"Been so sick… Haven't been able to hang with you guys… Wish I could've hung out with you more… You and I… We were supposed to test out that new invention of yours, yeah…?" Donnie felt another lump form in his throat and he swallowed hard. Why wasn't it going down this time…?
" 's okay, Raph… We'll test it out, first thing. As soon as you get better… Gotta make sure it's sturdy enough after all. See if it holds up to the great and powerful Red Angel of Preventing Harm…" A laugh escaped the elder this time. It was light and airy and it rumbled through his body, making Donnie tremble with him. He loved that sound. It sounded normal. It sounded like his big brother. It sounded like Raphael.
"You got it, bud", he whispered. Donnie could feel himself starting to grow tired as he listened to his brother's soft breathing. Before he fell asleep, he could faintly hear Raph's breathy voice whisper
once more.
"As soon as I get better…"
Donnie woke up some time around ten in the morning. He grumbled and peered over blearily at his sleeping brother. He didn't have the heart to wake him, especially when the snapper looked so peaceful… With a sigh, the softshell rolled out of the bed and stretched. Joints popped and he let out a yawn as he trudged his way towards his lab. First thing he had to do was look over Raph's data again, something he did almost every day now. Donnie just didn't want to miss anything in case it could somehow be the key to curing him of his mysterious illness.
The softshell stepped through the sliding doors before stopping dead in his tracks. On his desk sat a black tape recorder with a red ribbon tied neatly on top of it. A piece of paper stood behind it with the words "play me" written on it in messy handwriting. Donnie raised an eyebrow before rolling his eyes and moving to sit at his desk, snatching the recorder and putting up to his ears. 'Probably some stupid prank from Leo' , he mused while pressing play. He listened to the message, face slowly losing the annoyed look and morphing into one of absolute dread.
Donnie could feel his heart drop, chest tight and stomach knotting up in the worst possible way. His hands trembled and it was suddenly like his body was on autopilot. He could feel himself rushing to his feet, stumbling out the doors of his lab and racing down the halls of the lair. The tape recorder was tight within his grip and something was burning behind his eyes. Somewhere along the line, he recalled bumping into one of his brothers. Or was it his father? He wasn't sure, could've cared less at this point. Donnie just ran and ran and ran until he smacked into the wall in front of Raph's room.
His breath was coming out in pants as he pushed the curtain away, almost ripping it off of its poorly made rings. His feet carried him towards the snapper's bed, the bed he'd just left almost fifteen minutes ago. Donnie clambered his way on it and moved so that he was kneeling above Raph, hands clutching his big brother's head in unsteady hands. Something wet was falling from the ceiling, he'd have to look at it later. But for now, Raph was most important.
Donnie waited, breath harsh and eyes roaming. With shaky fingers, he reached down to press two against his neck. When he couldn't find what he was looking for, he placed them on his wrist. There… There was no pulse… The softshell's breathing quickened and he hurriedly placed his head against the elder's plastron. No sound… There was no sound… There was no sound -
An enraged shout left his lips and the softshell moved to take his head into his hands again, gazing hard at the snapper's face. There was no twitch, no move of muscle, no shift of an eyelid and god fucking dammit, where the hell is that wet shit coming from-
The sound of Donnie's own voice had him reeling, his heart seemingly stopping and the room suddenly becoming quiet. Too quiet. That was a cry… A wail that left his own lips…? And Donnie glanced down at the drops still falling on his brother's face and…
Oh…
Oh …
Tears. His tears. Donatello's tears. Reality suddenly came crashing down around him and the broken cry that left his lips almost resembled a scream . Donnie clutched Raph's body to his chest as wails left his throat unabashed, tremors wracking his frame almost violently. The tears kept pouring and pouring and they wouldn't stop, no matter what he did. Somewhere along the line, he could distantly hear footsteps rushing into the bedroom. But, his own sorrow was too loud to hear anything else and he could faintly hear himself cry out and curse whatever god or entity that existed to give him back his big brother. But, the truth was that he was gone. Gone . And the absolute worst part…?
Raphael Hamato had died with a smile on his face and his arms around his brother.
Is this thing workin' right? Whatever. Um, Heya Dee… It's Raph! I just, uh… I wanted to set things straight… I wanted to tell you the truth and clear things up for everyone. I've made one of these things for everyone and I… What I wanted to say was that, I'm sorry… I'm not gonna be here anymore when you finally listen to this but uh… I'm sorry. The thing is, I've been sick this whole time because of the Krang infecting me or something. It's what made me so unwilling to let you scan me for anything too. I've spoken with him and uh, turns out that when he infected me… Well, I'm dying because he basically put a time bomb in me. It was deadly and it would only activate if I pulled out the thing controlling me… I'm sorry I kept this from you guys for so long… The last thing I wanted was for you to run yourself ragged looking for a cure. I know that you'd have done that, Don and I didn't want that for you. I wasn't sure how you guys would fare without me but, I just want you know I'm so proud. You guys have gotten crazy strong and I know you'll be okay with me gone. Watch over each other. Keep each other safe. And know that I love you guys so so much… So much… I'll be watching over you guys with Gram Gram now, yeah…? I love you, little brother…