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He knew he was in for trouble when he entered the agency’s office and Dazai excitedly grinned at him before he started talking about a supposed ‘fun’ new mission that he was going to be sent on.
He had serious doubts about if they had the same definition of the word ‘fun’ because after Dazai explained Atsushi was wide-eyed as he tried to process exactly what his mentor said.
“Wait, wait, wait !” He exclaimed cutting the other off as he went on talking about the mission as if he hadn’t said the most ridiculous thing Atsushi had heard all week the second before. “So you’re expecting me to… date Akutagawa for this mission?”
“Don’t act so shocked I’m not asking you to actually date him.” Dazai specified as if that made it any better. “Just pretend for the length of this mission, it’ll be a good learning experience for you both Atsushi-kun. I’m sure of it!.”
In his opinion, that didn’t qualify as a learning experience but more like hell. He wasn’t seriously expecting him to be able to pretend to like Akutagawa and act like a couple, he didn’t even know if he was mentally capable of achieving that.
“Dazai-san, I’m not really- I mean you can’t expect me to act all lovey-dovey with someone I hate! The feeling is mutual too and did Akutagawa even agree to this mission yet?” He questioned incredulously which didn’t seem to deter the other man in the slightest.
“He did agree, come on I’m sure this mission will turn out just fine I trust your abilities,” Dazai assures him even though Atsushi wasn’t exactly worried about his fighting ability. “A certain ability-related item is about to be sold at an auction, you both will need to get your hands on it by giving the highest price. Easy isn’t it?”
“What if the price is higher than we can actually afford?” Atsushi questioned because he doubted the Agency could provide him that much money.
“Ah, well you’re not going to be paying since the mafia is thankfully financing this whole thing. Just make sure not to get found out until then wouldn’t want to get thrown out before being able to get the item.” Dazai explained.
“And why exactly… do we have to be a couple for this?” Atsushi asked not really seeing the point of going through all that struggle. “ Other, than it apparently being a ‘good learning experience’”
“Well, it was the most convincing way to get you accepted there, a couple going to an auction is less suspicious than two random guys going to an auction. The people running it are very careful about not being caught so try to be at least a little convincing alright?” The taller man simply explained and handed him a paper with some of the details about the mission. “Here don’t forget to read this, oh also it’s tonight so don’t put it off for too long!”
“It’s tonight?!” Atsushi exclaimed loudly. “Why didn’t you say something earlier!?”
“Slipped my mind.” Dazai snickered knowing that it definitely didn’t slip his mind. “You have a few hours, oh and there’s a dress code so try to look at least a little respectful. You wouldn’t want to arise any unwanted attention.”
Atsushi slumped back into his seat clearly defeated. “Can’t you send someone else to go with him…?”
“I already told Akutagawa you were going and it’s too late to make a change of plans. I’m sure it’ll go better than you think.” Dazai reassured him lightly patting his hair. “Your teamwork has gone a long way I have faith in both of you.”
Maybe Dazai had faith in them but Atsushi definitely didn’t have any faith in himself, where was he even supposed to find a fancy enough outfit with his limited salary? He wondered what Akutagawa would wear, definitely a suit probably a black one since that’s the only colour that he seemed to like wearing. Well, not that he looked bad in it of course and he was willing to bet that the other would look quite handsome in a suit too.
Wait what was he thinking, he should not be thinking about Akutagawa that way or at all and he was supposed to be preparing for the mission he didn’t have time to waste entertaining thoughts like that! He rapidly went through the paper Dazai had handed him and went in search of a good enough outfit.
Even so, maybe he felt a bit excited for tonight for whatever reason. Definitely not! Because of the dating part and he was also definitely not wondering if they would have to hold hands or maybe even kiss to be convincing enough- definitely not!! He only felt like that because the mission seemed easy enough to complete if they cooperated enough and he’d never been to an auction before.
He hoped that Dazai was right and it went well enough.
Kunikida ended up borrowing him one of his old suits, it was too small for him so it fitted Atsushi perfectly, it was a grey suit with a grey tie a boring colour but fancy enough and it matched his hair so hey at least he looked presentable.
He arrived and waited for his partner near the entrance, the auction was in an hour but there was some sort of pre-auction party taking place that Dazai insisted they participate in to seem more convincing.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder and quickly turned around.
Atsushi had to double-take when he saw who it was, it was Akutagawa but well he was wearing a suit compared to his usual jacket and it actually was red instead of the expected black. Looking back at his face he noticed that he was wearing eyeliner making his eyes look sharper and lipgloss that made his lips look slightly more red. Before he could stare at his lips anymore than socially acceptable the other pulled him out of it by talking.
“What are you doing here? I was waiting inside.” Akutagawa spoke in an irritated tone.
“I was waiting for you outside,” Atsushi responded. “And hey- you’re wearing makeup?”
“Yes? Got something against that Weretiger ?” Akutagawa asked crossing his arms together and raising an eyebrow.
“No! Not at all!I mean I just wasn’t expecting it- you look really cute like that I swear..” He quickly explained trying to avoid an argument and regretted his words a second after saying them because he should definitely not! be calling him cute out loud if he cared enough for his life, what was he thinking?
Akutagawa seemed to be too caught off guard by the last comment to get angry at him for it and if Atsushi was a more foolish man he would’ve thought that the other was blushing which he definitely wasn’t, maybe he was just feeling hot or something.
“Thanks… you don’t look so bad yourself.” Akutagawa managed to answer after a few seconds and coughed before continuing. “Let’s go in, try to talk to a few people and look convincing enough.”
Akutagawa held out his arm and it took a few seconds for Atsushi to understand that he was supossed to hold onto it since he definitely wasn’t used to physical contact with the other which didn’t involve violence but he slipped his hand around his arm anyway and held onto it. They soon walked into the building after the person holding the list infront of it approved them and let them in.
When they reached the main room it was packed. Dazai definitely wasn’t lying when be said it was a fancy event, a huge chandelier was hanging off the celling and he saw people wearing clothes he thought he wouldn’t be able to afford even if he saved up for a year. Multiple tables stood around with appetizers and drinks.
They ended up starting a conversation with one of the people running the event first for the sake of collecting info and second just to avoid meaninglessly walking around for a few seconds.
“Good evening, I don’t think we’ve met yet?” The man said taking notice of them, a woman a bit younger than him stood close, presumably his wife since they wore matching rings.
“We haven’t, we just arrived at the event and frankly can’t wait for the auction.” Akutagawa easily answered wearing a polite smile.. “My name’s Akutagawa, I’m here with my partner Atsushi tonight.”
“Partner in the romantic sense?” The wife asked.
“Naturally.” Akutagawa responded.
“Ah, it’s nice to be talking to another couple. How long have you been together?” The man asked curiously.
“Five years-” “Three years!” Akutagawa and Atsushi spoke at the same time ending up with them saying two different numbers, so much for cooperation.
“Um- What he means is we’ve known each other for five years but only started dating three years ago.” Atsushi quickly explained, they couldn’t afford to get found out that early.
“Oh, I see! Me and my husband have been together for over ten years.” The woman explained smiling. “Time passes quickly doesn’t it?”
Atsushi nodded in response trying not to feel like this small talk was a pure waste of their time, how is this supposed a ‘good learning experience’ as Dazai said? He’d learn more if he was sent to combat or something.
“Are you not engaged? I don’t see a ring on either of your fingers.” The man suddenly pointed out.
“Ah, not yet.” Akutagawa said and moved his arm, switching to holding Atsushi’s hand as if it was the most normal thing possible and Atsushi surprisingly didn’t… totally dislike the action even though the other’s hand was cold compared to his it felt nice. “Maybe in the future? We’ll have to see where life takes us, right honey?”
“R-Right!” He answered caught off guard by the nickname, was the other trying to kill him? He wasn’t prepared enough for that kind of stuff and the fact that the other was actually smiling at him while saying that didn’t help. Maybe he was too convincing because the actions managed to make his heart skip a beat, focus Atsushi! He was there for a mission.
They went on to talk to a few different people managing to learn some new information, the object they needed was going to be presented at the very end of the auction which was an annoyance but nothing they could do about that other than make it through the night without being found out.
The auction was in a few minutes and they’d talked to enough people for the night, and Atsushi didn’t think he could survive the other calling him ‘Honey’ or ‘Sweetheart’ one more time. They waited near a table with appetizers, Akutagawa was drinking a glass of wine while Atsushi was eating some of the tarts that stood on the table, they were incredibly good.
“Are you attempting to eat the entire table Weretiger?” Akutagawa said as Atsushi picked up his fifth tart for the night. They were free and he was allowed to take as much as he wanted so why shouldn’t he?
“Shut up, they’re good and free so I don’t see why I shouldn’t. You should have one actually and you’ll see.” Atsushi said taking one of the remaining ones of the red ones off the table and handing it to him.
However, he wasn’t expecting Akutagawa to- instead of taking it like any normal person would- to lean forward and take a bite out of it.
Akutagawa leaned back again with some sort of sly smirk on his face.
“You- I was handing it to you! Not feeding it to you!” Atsushi complained still holding the now half-eaten tart in his hand that Akutagawa stole a second later, eating the rest.
“You’re not wrong, it does taste good,” Akutagawa said. “What’s wrong with me directly eating it, you are my boyfriend for this mission after all let’s try to stay convincing.”
Yes, he was right but that didn’t mean that everything they did together had to seem romantic in one way or another! Before he could raise any objections the other started talking.
“You have something on your face,” Akutagawa said and before Atsushi could reach for it Akutagawa cupped his face with more gentleness than expected and wiped a bit of remaining tart from the corner of his mouth using his thumb.
He then proceeded to lick what he collected off his thumb and looked thoughtful for a second. “Hmm, blueberry? Those aren’t bad either.”
“Y-You!” Atsushi tried to find something coherent to say as his brain short circuited at the other’s previous action and he could feel his face heat up because god- that looked way more attractive to him than it should’ve and he had to force himself to remember that they were on a mission, and this was only pure acting even though this felt wildly unnecessary, was the other doing that on purpose? (Of course, he was)
“Don’t do that kind of shit again or I swear to god I’ll-” Atsushi tried to argue but got cut off.
“You’ll what? Kill me?” Akutagawa said smirking. “Anyway, the auction is about to start shall we get going, Honey?” He extended his hand for the other to grab.
If Atsushi didn’t know better he would’ve thought Akutagawa was actually flirting, which he wasn’t, this was purely for the sake of the mission even though he couldn’t deny that what he was doing was making Atsushi feel something, he wasn’t about to dwell on it though and grabbed the other’s hand.
Akutagawa pulled him along, for whatever reason holding his hand while walking through all those people felt comforting in a way and made him feel less nervous about being around so many strangers.
Soon enough they entered the auction room and sat down at one of the tables where they were given a sign with the number 22 on it, a man walked onto the stage and quickly the auction started and people bid high to get the objects, he knew that he technically wouldn’t be spending any money since the mafia was paying but this seemed more than stressful.
He was startled out of his thoughts by Akutagawa tapping on his hand to get his attention, he looked at the other who discretely pointed at a near table where a man was sitting, looking at them suspiciously. “He's been onto us all night”
“I’ve noticed,” Atsushi responded. “What do we do?”
“Well it would be a shame for him to call security and get us caught now,” Akutagawa said. “We’ll just have to clear his suspicions about us.”
Before Atsushi could ask how they were going to do that Akutagawa grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face closer. “Can I kiss you?”
He knew that the correct answer should’ve been ‘absolutely not’ because first of all kissing someone you hate was more than nonsensical and second of all it probably wasn’t even necessary, they could clear the man’s suspicions about them dating with any other method than a kiss.
Even so, with all of that in mind he found himself nervously nodding and tried his best to sound casual instead of sounding like he was about to have a whole heart attack. The thought of kissing his enemy should not be making him feel like that but here he was. “Y-Yes, sure.”
He closed his eyes as he could feel the other lean in, soon enough he could feel a fair of soft lips meeting his and even though he could practically taste the other’s lipgloss the feeling of the other’s lips against his felt quite… nice and if he was being honest with himself he wouldn’t be against doing that again. He honestly couldn’t be thinking about that right now.
He felt maybe the tiniest bit disappointed as the other pulled back and had half a mind to lean forward and steal a second kiss, which he didn’t because that would definitely be weird and it’s not like the other wanted to kiss him again since he only did it in the first place to clear suspicions.
He looked back at the table where the man from earlier sat and he for sure looked convinced enough now gawking at them for a few seconds before focusing back on the auction.
“It worked, he's not staring anymore,” Atsushi said and Akutagawa just nodded in response
The auction took a while and eventually they reached the last item, the one they were originally sent there for. It was a painting that had sent anyone in the past who stayed with it for too long into madness, another reason to make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands.
“Here’s a final item for the night! Let’s start.” The man presenting said and rapidly multiple people input bids.
“A thousand dollars!” A woman at table 20 proposed.
“Two thousand!” Another man said.
“Ten thousand,” Akutagawa said holding up their number in the air starting Atsushi, was he crazy?. He knew the Port-Mafia was rich but shouldn’t he at least attempt to keep the price as low as possible?
“Ten thousand at table 22! Any higher bids?” The presenter said.
“Twenty thousand.” The man sitting at the table right next to them said.
That was- a lot but they could certainly go higher.
“Twenty-five thousand,” Atsushi said and he could practically feel the man who bid Twenty thousand dollars glaring at him.
“Twenty-six thousand.” The man retaliated without missing a beat.
“Thirty thousand,” Akutagawa said earning a collective gasp from the room.
“Thirty thousand dollars! Is that our final offer for tonight?” The presenter asked and waited a few seconds, this time though no one gave a higher bid. “Well, then our last item now belongs to table 22 congratulations!”
After the auction, they collected the safely packed item and Akutagawa paid for it fully. Afterwards, they exited the building not wanting to spend more time than necessary outside.
Outside Atsushi was hit by fresh air, it wasn’t as cold earlier so this definitely took some time, but at least they succeded.
“I must get going, I’ll see you perhaps on our next mission Weretiger,” Akutagawa said and started walking off before he could even respond.
“Wait!” Atsushi said and grabbed Akutagawa’s wrist forcing him to stop in his tracks.
He turned around to look at Atsushi. And he spoke sounding maybe a bit irritated “What is it?”
He didn’t actually know why he stopped him, and for sure regretted it now hearing the other’s tone. He didn’t want them to go back to before and act like this was just a mission because it felt real. Maybe he was just being foolish thinking that because the other acted that way towards him purely for the sake of the mission, him holding his hand, calling him pet names and even kissing him was just acting even though the thought hurt more than it should.
He realized the other was still staring at him waiting for a response so he went on. “I-I was just thinking maybe um… if you’d like we could…”
He knew that he was probably going to get horribly rejected and ridiculed for ever thinking the other could have any interest in him but he might as well have no choice but to go on with it as he already started his sentence.
“I mean- if you’re free this weekend would you like to go out for dinner… together?” He managed to spit out the dreaded words and stared at the floor as he waited for a response alerady regretting having said anything, he was so stupid why didn’t he just-
“Sure,” Akutagawa answered pulling Atsushi out of his train of thought and making him look back up.
“Huh-? Y-You actually want to go out with me?! You know I mean like a date like romantically-”
“Yes, I am aware of that since I happen to be less oblivious than you are,” Akutagawa stated smirking as if he was expecting that to happen.
“Huh?! What the hell is that supposed to mean!” Atsushi exclaimed.
“You know I really thought that you’d get a hint after I kissed you but guess not.” Akutagawa said sighing. “You can’t seriously think this was all for the sake of the mission.”
Atsushi felt quite literally like an idiot now, oh so he actually had been flirting all night- well how was he supposed to know?!
“Oh… so you like me?” Atsushi asked with some hesitation.
“I do, you fool I didn’t think you’d have so much trouble figuring it out when I made it so obvious all night.” Akutagawa complained.
“I thought you were just acting…” Atsushi mumbled quite embarrassed now. “So… are we dating now?”
“Yes, unless you wish otherwise,” Akutagawa said.
“I don’t!” Atsushi responded maybe a bit too quickly. “So dinner together this weekend at my place, sound alright? We can fix details over text later.”
“Of course,” Akutagawa said and before actually walking off this time leaned in and left a goodbye kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you there honey.”
“I-I’ll see you there! Atsushi responded clearly flustered as Akutagawa walked off, god he still wasn’t used to the pet names.
When he walked back into the Agency office Dazai and Kunikida congratulated him for the successful mission.
“Atsushi,” Ranpo called his name seemingly appearing out of nowhere on his right, he was holding a bag of popcorn.
“Yes? What is it?” Atsushi asked.
“Was Akutagawa wearing red lipgloss by any chance?” He asked.
“Ah- yes why?” He answered a bit confused by the sudden question.
“There’s a stain of it on your cheek.” Ranpo pointed out.
“Ah- it’s not like that I swear!” Atsushi uselessly tried to convince the other.
“I never said it was,” Ranpo said with some sort of sly smirk as Atsushi hurried to the bathroom to wipe it off before anyone else takes notice and asks any unnecessary questions about the mission.