Chapter Text
Castin and the Baroness had decided to stay an extra night in Castin’s hometown, at the inn he’d been occupying the past two weeks. He had wanted to show her around the area he grew up and introduce her to some old friends and neighbors. After the events of the past several months, Rhett was more than willing to let them both take some time off. Castin showed her all the spots he, Rhett and Lillia got into trouble, including where both of their homes had been, and the land that used to belong to his mother. Even though he told her how different everything was since the fire ascendent’s attack, she was still able to get an idea of what his life was like before he had joined the army.
They roamed until sunset before heading back to the inn for dinner and retiring to their room for the evening. Soon, they lay in comfortable silence, limbs and sheets tangled up in bed. She traced slow, gentle patterns along his arm with her fingers and he signed contentedly as he buried his face into her hair.
“What about this?” Castin suggested, his voice muffled from within her long hair, “ What if we stay here forever?”
She smiled slightly, “Here as in this town? Or here as in this bed?”
“Bed. Definitely the bed.” He confirmed, pulling her in closer. “I’m very comfortable and you’re here, so I don’t need anything else.”
She chuckled, “Not even wine? I’m shocked.”
“Babe, I’m telling you, I would never drink again if it meant I didn’t need to leave this bed.”
She laughed at that and pushed back a little so she could see his face. “I just spent several months restoring the manor. If I don’t get to enjoy it after all that, I don’t think I will ever recover. Plus I didn’t bring a single book with me.”
Castin rolled his eyes and deadpanned, “Oh no. How terrible. How will you ever survive?”
She laughed and lightly hit his arm before she lay her head back down on his chest, smiling slightly. Though she would never give him the satisfaction of admitting it, she didn’t particularly want to leave either. She felt lighter than she had in months. While she was here, she didn’t have to do any work, arrange any marriages, or worry about the tensions that still existed between the two Kingdoms. Her talk with Castin earlier in the day had also cleared the air between them, and she felt she could finally breathe again.
She also realized suddenly, this is the first time she’d be falling asleep in a bed in weeks. After the Intacian army freed everyone in the palace, and Castin had collapsed, he was brought to the hospital ward within the palace. She sat next to the bed with Rhett as the doctor looked him over before eventually telling them both it would be best to leave him to get some rest and come back in a few hours. While he knew Rhett and the Baroness would not try to disturb his sleep, he figured leaving the room as quiet as possible would be best for him. Rhett told her she should go back home and get some sleep herself, however the idea of being idle after a week in captivity made her feel too anxious. She decided to go assist the Intacian’s who had been kept in the dungeons and see how she could help them. Not knowing what was happening to them for the entire week they were all held together was awful. She knew one wrong move from her and they would likely suffer.
She took the time to meet each one of the hostages and speak with them, asking them about their experiences and taking notes so she could tell Rhett later as they pieced together all the events of the past few weeks. Thankfully, most of them were not injured, but many of them were not being adequately fed, so she instructed someone to have the kitchen make something for them, even though it was in the middle of the night.
After she spoke with all of them, she went to meet with higher ups in the army to tell them everything that had happened, who was involved, and what information she was able to get from them. She also told them about the circumstances behind Captain Dolian’s death as she dug her nails into her palm until they bled to keep from crying in front of Castin’s men. She had only met the man once, and it was not a friendly interaction, but he was Castin’s friend, and she certainly had no wish for him to die. In the moments after he was stabbed and the rebels were starting to lead the hostages to their respective places, she had rushed to him to try and stop the bleeding, praying to the Goddess that there was still something she could do. While there may have been some life left in him when she reached him, she knew there was nothing she could do. She tried anyway. The next thing she remembered, she was being locked in a room. It would be the chamber she spent the majority of the next week in while the palace was under siege. She was handed a new dress, so she could change out of the one soaked with Dolian's blood.
Finally, after several hours, she made her way back to the hospital ward to check on her husband, only to be intercepted by Rhett at the door.
“Baroness, he is no longer here.”
“What?” She asked, confused. “Did they send him home already?”
Rhett sighed and handed her a note as he said, “No, he left himself.”
She unfolded the note. It was very short, just “I need some time alone. I’ll be back - C.”
She looked up at Rhett, panic rising in her chest. There were still rebels in the area and he was not fit to fight them. “Do you know where he went?”
Rhett shook his head, “No, I do not. I would try not to worry, Your Grace. He has done this often through the years. He will be back, I promise.”
He then escorted her back to the manor and ordered several guards to keep watch over the area, just in case the rebels decided to come back. She walked to her and Castin’s room and looked around at the empty space, feeling his abscence. She got ready for bed, even thoughwas nearly daybreak. Instead of going to the bed, however, she grabbed the book Castin had gifted her only a week before and sat on the sofa. She knew she should sleep, but if Castin came home she wanted to know immediately. She started reading, but exhaustion quickly overtook her, and she fell asleep on the couch, the book still in her hand.
That’s when the nightmares started.
As if reading her mind, Castin gently nudged her, bringing her back to the present, and asked “Hey, you okay?”
She angled her face up to look at him and smiled reassuringly. “Yes, I’m alright, darling.”
He had been through so much in the past few months, and now finally he was acting like his old self. His smiles were reaching his eyes again, and while he probably wouldn’t like her keeping all of this from him, she would do anything if it meant keeping that light in his eyes. This evening was so nice, and she wanted to bask in the glow of being together again for a little longer.
“You just got quiet. But not like, good quiet. More like… anxious quiet.”
She laughed a little, “How can you tell the difference? You couldn’t even see my face.”
Castin shrugged, “I don’t know. I just can. It’s like you’re my wife or something and I know you.”
She laughed again, “Alright, fair point. But I am alright. Really. Just thinking. ”
“Can I ask what about?”
“Just… everything. The past few months.” She paused for a moment and said, “We don’t have to talk about it now. It’s been such a lovely day. I don’t want to spoil the mood.”
Castin moved so they were face to face with each other and brushed some hair out of her face, “Hey, no. Don’t do that. You don’t need to go all Baroness-y on me.”
She furrowed her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”
He shrugged again, “You’re doing that thing you do where you try to put everyone else’s feelings first. You don’t have to do that with me. In fact, I wish you wouldn’t.”
She looked down at her hands, “Sorry. I-”
“I’m not mad, Sweetheart. You don’t have to apologize. I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything. It’s not a one way street.That’s kind of the deal with the whole marriage thing.”
She smiled slightly, “Was that in the vows? I must have blacked that out in my blind rage at the altar.”
Castin laughed, “Yep. Definitely. There was also lots of other stuff in the vows you may not remember. Like you definitely vowed to let me win every argument about what to eat for dinner we ever have until the end of time.”
“Oh did I? Interesting.” She laughed, “That one I certainly don’t remember.”
“Just trust me on this one. You definitely did.”
A comfortable silence grew between the two again. She hoped he had been distracted enough to move on but then Castin nudged her again gently. “So…?”
She sighed again and rolled over onto her back so she could look at the ceiling. She was silent for a moment before sighing, “I don’t really know where to start. It’s all just kind of a jumble” Not technically a lie. She thought to herself.
Castin snorted, “You can say that again.”
She smiled, “Really, I’m just glad to have you back. I missed you.”
He smiled softly at her, “Yeah. I missed you too.”
“I was worried about you.” She added after a moment. “The last time I had seen you before today, you were unconscious in a hospital bed. You didn’t say where you were or when you’d be back. And after how the last real conversation we had went… I just wasn’t sure where your head was at”.
She hoped she wasn’t coming off as accusatory. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was judging him or upset at him.
Castin grimaced, “Yeah. I’m sorry. I wasn’t in a very good headspace. I didn’t really think about that.”
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, “It’s alright. Really, I understand why you did.”
“You’re doing it again ‘Baroness’” he said, smiling softly, “Just let me apologize to you. That was not okay, no matter what my intentions were. I should have communicated better to you.”
She smiled, “I forgive you.”
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it, “Thank you.”
She smiled and felt some heat rise to her cheeks. Two years into her marriage and he still made her blush. “I love you.” she said quietly.
He smiled back at her, “I love you too, Sweetheart”.
She felt a yawn suddenly rise up in her throat, and despite her best efforts was completely unable to hide it. Castin laughed and kissed her on the forehead. “You should go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”
“I’m not that tired,” She insisted as she yawned again.
“Yeah, okay.” Castin said disbelievingly. “So if I turn off the lights, that won’t affect you at all, right?”
“Not at all.” She said casually, “I’m wide awake.”
Her own body betrayed her again as a third yawn escaped her lips. Castin laughed again as he reached over to turn off the light. “If you insist.” As they settled into the darkness, he pulled her towards him again. As she lay her arm across him and settled her head on his chest, she murmured “This proves nothing. I’m just getting comfortable.”
She felt quiet laughter rumble through his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, “Whatever you say, Wife.”
She closed her eyes and listened to his steady heartbeat. Having his familiar warmth next to her in bed again made her feel safe, a feeling she had been lacking for weeks. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought Hopefully that means no more nightmares.