Archive of Our Own

Eddie doesn’t hate Taylor Kelly, that fact isn’t true.

He’s just a bigger fan of the guy who shot him than he is of her.

And it’s nothing she did in particular to upset him. Or maybe it is and Eddie just didn’t realise. But either way, he can’t stand her.

He can’t stand the way she walks around the firehouse like she owns the place (even though she most certainly doesn’t). Can’t stand how she’s so fucking nosy about shit, always sticking her nose in other people’s business (he knows it’s been years but he’s still pissed about the Bobby interview). Can’t stand how she follows them on calls to interview them and will drape herself across Buck, batting her eyelashes and smiling all soft at him (she’s gonna get someone killed one day).

So yeah, he’s not her biggest fan.

And Eddie thought he was doing a good job of staying civil, not starting fights, not yelling at her to leave whenever he wants, not shoving her out of the way when she leaned against Buck. So in his eyes he’s doing pretty well.

Except he’s not apparently.

Hen

Hen is the first to approach him about this “problem.”

Taylor is visiting the firehouse, again , and she’s interviewing Ravi, trying to ask what it’s like being the new guy in the infamous 118 and how he was selected to join here. Ravi is sitting at the end of the rig and she’s standing so she’s leaning over a little, microphone pointed at him and Ravi is nervously answering.

Buck stands leaning against one of the other engines, back pressed against it and arms crossed as he watches his friend (because Buck swears there’s nothing else going on) do her job. Eddie swears Buck is checking her out though, with the way her ass it shoved out a little and the way Buck’s eyes keep flitting about and Eddie huffs humourlessly.

Eddie is standing up at the loft, leaning over the railing and watching, well, glaring harshly at Taylor, like he can will her to leave if he stares long enough.

Hen walks up and leans against the rail next to him, facing the opposite way so her back leans against it.

“Glare any harder and she’ll catch fire,” Hen teases and Eddie turns and deadpans.

“I’m not glaring,” He lies and Hen chuckles, rolling her eyes. 

“Uh, yes, Edmundo, you are. In fact, I think even Ravi would be able to tell you’re glaring. It’s obvious to anyone, except maybe Buck , that you hate her.” Hen informs.

“Well, Henrietta , I don’t hate her,” Eddie turns so his back is against the railing too. “I just can’t stand her.”

Hen chuckles again. “Yeah, totally different.” She teases and Eddie rolls his eyes. “You know she’s not that bad right? She’s… She just wants to get the truth out. And it’s kind of admirable honestly, just wish she didn’t want to get our truth out there.”

“She doesn’t care about the truth, she cares about the fame.” Eddie mumbles, but he doesn’t believe himself quite yet. He knows Buck has talked about how much the truth means to Taylor, but he can’t stand Hen defending her presence here.

“Look, if you’re just jealous that Buck has a crush on her, you can say it.” Hen says and it’s more as a joke but Eddie turns, brows furrowed and eyes wide and she tilts her head.

“... Are you jealous?” Hen asked, now turning to face him fully. Her eyes dart over to where Buck is now walking up to Taylor and hugging her.

“I- No?” Eddie isn’t sure of himself though and looks at Hen for reassurance. “Wait, I- Maybe? I mean, I can’t stand how she is around Buck, but isn’t that just ‘cause I don’t like her?”

Hen presses her lips together and firmly pats his shoulder.

“This sounds like a Frank conversation,” She says and with that, she leaves, Eddie blinking a few times until the alarms go off and he no longer has to think about it.

Chimney

Eddie is calling Buck (who’s not working with the A-shift this week because someone on the B-shift needed to trade schedules because his wife got hurt and Buck offered without hesitation) trying to ask him if he needs to go grocery shopping later but he isn’t answering.

“Look, it's his day off, maybe he’s just sleeping in?” Bobby suggests when Eddie slams his phone down on the counter out of frustration. 

“Buck doesn’t sleep in later than 10, he says it’s a waste of the day to sleep later than that.” Eddie grumbles. “I just need to know if I need to ask Carla to watch Christopher a little later so I can go pick up groceries after work.”

“Why are you calling Buck about your groceries?” Ravi asked and Hen elbowed him, the probie furrowing his brows and giving her a confused and betrayed look.

“He’s probably just busy,” Bobby reassures and Eddie’s phone begins to ring and he picks it up quickly.

“Buck, hey,” Eddie says and the voice that greets him back is most definitely not Buck’s.

“Hey Eddie, he’s in the shower right now, do you want me to leave a message?” Taylor asked and Eddie’s mood sours quickly.

“Hey Taylor,” He says, voice dropping to monotonous and he turns away, Chimney making a facial expression that Eddie doesn’t have the energy to try and decipher. “What are you doing at Buck’s?”

“Mmm, we were just hanging out, watching movies and everything.” Taylor says and she says it so softly. “Buck’s just a nice guy to be around when you have nothing better to do, you know?”

Buck is a nice guy to be around in general , Eddie thinks but he swallows it down. He needs to be civil. 

“Yeah, I know. When he gets out can you tell him I asked if I should go grocery shopping and if yes, can he send me a grocery list?” Eddie is trying to keep the spite out of his voice but at Chimney’s grin, he knows he’s failed.

Taylor is silent for a moment before her soft and even reporter voice came over through the phone.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him. Have a nice day, Eddie.” Taylor says. 

“Yeah.” Eddie grinds out and hangs up before shoving his phone deep in his pocket.

Everyone around him is dead silent and staring at him.

“What?” He asked and Hen, Bobby and Ravi all went back to what they were doing before. 

“There was so much to unpack there,” Chimney teases, standing up to look at Eddie.

“What about?” Eddie asked and Chim rolled his eyes.

“First off, how you went from, Oh, heya my beautiful Buck!” Chimney’s voice is sickeningly sweet. “To this jealousy ridden: Oh. It’s fucking Taylor. ” Chimney frowns deep and his voice drops as he speaks and Eddie scoffs.

“No, it didn’t.” Eddie said and Hen snorts at that.

“Uh, yeah it did, Eddie. Second, I’m with Ravi, why does Buck know about the state of your groceries enough that you asked him to make a grocery list?” Chimney asked and Eddie threw his hands up.

“He’s at my place more than his loft! It’s not weird!” Eddie insisted and Chimney put his hands up in surrender. “I never said it was . Just, remember when you guys were all yelling at me and Maddie for being so obviously in love?”

“ What are you implying?” Eddie asked and Chimney looks over to Bobby and Hen. Eddie turns too, really fucking confused at whats going on and he turns to sees Hen making a “cut it out” motion and Bobby shaking his head. They stop when he turns.

“Okay, what? ” Eddie demands and, once again, the fire alarm goes off and Hen mumbles “ thank god” before they all get up and leave.

Maddie

Buck got himself hurt on the job again (still during the shift swap), nothing too bad but he was getting scanned over in the ER. Eddie, Bobby and Maddie, the only people on his emergency contact list, were waiting in the office for news. Eddie was pacing back and forth, and Bobby and Maddie were watching him.

It wasn’t anything bad, Eddie knew, but he also knew how quickly something can go from being fine to not.

“Eddie, it’s just a concussion,” Maddie told him and Eddie rolled his eyes. “ Just a concussion.” He repeats under his breath, shaking his head.

“You know more than anyone how bad concussions can get,” Eddie said, facing her and she shares a look with Bobby he can quite read. “I mean, if it goes untreated, he could have memory loss, communication issues, vision problems. He’s fine now but it could go so quickly south.”

“Eddie, he’ll be fine .” Maddie said and Eddie has to remember this is Maddie , Buck’s sister, who was there for him everytime he got hurt. She knows what Buck is capable of pulling through and Eddie has to force himself to sit and believe her.

Ten more minutes go by and suddenly Taylor Kelly is rushing in and Eddie frowns deeper.

“What is she doing here?” He grumbles and Maddie turns, brows raised.

“I called her? Isn’t she Buck’s new girlfriend? I thought she should know.” Maddie said, innocently and Bobby puts a hand over his face and softly groans as Eddie’s expression darkens.

“They are not dating,” He spits out under his breath as Taylor comes over to join them.

“Sorry,” Maddie said and she’s looking at him weird as she stands to greet Taylor. Bobby looks at Eddie with a behave expression and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Hey, thanks for calling me.” Taylor said as she quickly hugged Maddie in greeting. “Have they said anything about what happened, how he got hurt, how long it’ll take before we can see him?”

“Why, want to know so you can turn it into your next story?” Eddie mumbles and Bobby reaches behind Maddie to punch his shoulder.

“Believe it or not , Eddie. But Buck is my friend and I care about him,” Taylor said, a hand on her hip and Maddie interjects to answer Taylor.

“He was working with the B-shift during a call, part of the roof came down on top of him. They said it seems to be nothing more than a concussion, he’s getting an MRI done to confirm. They said at least a half hour to an hour.” Maddie fills Taylor in.

“A concussion? That can get worse, right? I mean, it leads to amnesia and makes speech complicated, right?” Taylor said and Eddie gestures at her with wide eyes at Maddie and Bobby, sort of a See? gesture. 

Maddie rolled her eyes at him and gently waved her hands a bit. “He’ll be fine . God knows he’s had more concussions than I can count on my fingers when we were younger. It’s been half an hour already, he’ll be out soon. We just need to sit and wait for him.”

Taylor nods and sits next to Eddie, who rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

They all sit mostly in silence until the nurse walks out with Buck in tow, informing them all that Buck was fine, but if he shows any signs of slurred speech or anything to come back just to be sure.

Taylor rushed over and hugged Buck tight, the firefighter shocked to see her but happy and hugging her back.

Maddie takes that time to pull Eddie to the side.

“What’s going on with you?” She asked and Eddie raised an eyebrow, arms crossed as he watched Taylor with a fixed glare.

“What do you mean?” Eddie grumbled.

“I mean how you look like you want Taylor to spontaneously combust right now.” Maddie said and Eddie rolled his eyes. They’re both silent for a moment and she suddenly rested her hand on his arm.

“Omigod, you’re jealous.” She said and Eddie whips his head to stare at her, his eyes darting over to Buck and Taylor then back at her. “No, I’m not .” He grumbled.

“You totally are!” Maddie said as Bobby now walks over to Buck and teases him about giving him a run for his money. “What, is it that she seems to be his new best friend, or is it something else?”

Eddie looked at her with mild confusion in his eyes. “What- What do you mean something else?” 

Maddie pressed her lips together. “Nothing, forget it.” She mumbled and moved to go hug her brother but Eddie grabbed her arm.

“No, Maddie, what do you mean?” Eddie’s eyes are wide and Maddie huffed and turned back to him.

“I meant do you like my brother, romantically . But- Look, we can talk about this later, okay?” She said and Eddie dropped her arm, jaw set and he looks terrified, but under that there’s something else that Maddie doesn’t know well enough to decipher.

Christopher

Eddie and Christopher are spending the afternoon together, Christopher is watching television while Eddie is making snacks for them to eat while they play video games in a bit.

“Buck!” Christopher shouts and Eddie thinks he’s on the phone until he hears Buck’s voice from the television. Eddie wipes his hands on a towel and walked over to see Buck’s face plastered on screen.

With Taylor.

She’s interviewing him about some crazy save he did (again, still swapped shifts. Eddie really needs that B-shift dude’s wife to heal quicker) and Buck is grinning.

Taylor tilts her head up at him, a hand playfully rested on his bicep and Buck stammers through his next answer as she bats her eyelashes at him.

“Oh! Taylor!” Christopher said and Eddie looked at him. “She is pretty.”

“What, Taylor? You know Taylor? How do you know Taylor?” Eddie asked and his son gave him a “you’re being weird, dad.” look that he’s mastered by now.

“Buck told me about her,” Christopher said. “She seems cool.”

She is pretty, rings again in his head. If Christopher knew her cause of Buck and that was his reaction to seeing her, Buck thought Taylor was pretty? Of course he did, anyone could see Buck was totally crushing on Taylor no matter how much he denied it.

Eddie grabbed the remote and changed the channel, making Christopher pout.

“If you want to hear the story, you can ask him tomorrow when he comes to watch you. And he’ll tell you more than he told her anyway.” Eddie says “her” with disdain and Christopher’s nose scrunches.

“Dad.” He said and Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You’re still Buck’s best friend, his bestest friend. Taylor isn’t going to replace you.”

“That’s-” Eddie was red and covered a hand over his face. “Christopher, it’s not like that.”

His son watches him for a moment and shrugs as he grabbed the remote back to change the channel to something he wanted to watch.

“Taylor isn’t going to be his girlfriend either… ” Christopher mumbled and Eddie pressed his lips together and ruffled Christopher’s hair.

“Enough of that.” He mumbled and Christopher laughed.

Taylor

Eddie is walking down the hall to Buck’s loft, a six pack in his hand as he unlocks the door.

When he enters, Taylor rounds the corner, head tilted and Eddie smiles tightly at her as he moves in and sets the six pack on the coffee table.

“Buck isn’t here,” She says, brows furrowed as Eddie makes himself at home, sitting on the couch and pulling out his phone.

“Oh no, I know. He’s gonna be back in like ten-ish minutes though.” Eddie said and tries to ignore her but Taylor just gives him a confused look. 

“You’re not wondering why I’m here?” She asked and Eddie looks over, annoyed and frowns at her.

“Buck said you were staying over while they fixed your plumbing system.” Eddie said. “Didn’t question cause I knew why.”

Taylor just nods slowly and keeps staring at him.

“Buck has been so nice you know, he’s a great friend, letting me stay here.” Taylor said and Eddie’s expression hardens, hand gripping his phone tightly. “He’s also an incredible cook, you know? I’ve always dreamed of one day having a man who’d wake me up in the morning with a warm homemade breakfast, bunking with Buck for a few days is kind of like that.”

Eddie thinks about turning the TV on to drown out her voice but he thinks that might be too petty.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you even realised how in love with him you are.” Taylor says it as casually as asking if it was raining outside and not like she didn’t just drop a bombshell in Eddie’s lap and wished him luck.

“What?” Eddie asked, whipping his head to look at her. She’s in the kitchen fiddling with something and it’s then he realises she’s just eating a thing of grapes. “I- What ?”

“You’re in love with him,” She states simply and then points at herself. “And you’re jealous of me. You’re not hiding it well.”

“I’m not- Taylor I’m not in love with him.” Eddie insisted, but part of him feels like he’s lying and he doesn’t know why.

“You are. You can’t hide that from me, I know everything.” Taylor said and shoved another grape in her mouth and shrugged. “I don’t blame you, I mean he’s a great guy. Total dreamboat if he weren’t so stupid.” The insult is laced with affection in her voice and she grabs the container of grapes and moves over closer to Eddie.

“Look, you can stop being jealous over me, okay? I’m not stealing your best friend. And I’ve seen how he looks at you, I’m not gonna date him either.” She says as she sits next to Eddie.

Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Have you seen how he looks at you? Why… throw away that chance?” He mumbled and reached over, grabbing a grape from her.

“Yeah sure, he may have a little kindergarten crush on me,” Taylor acknowledges, because as much as Buck denies it, it’s clear he has feelings for her. “And I would so go for it if he asked. But you two are practically married, you have a kid, his stuff is at your house, you guys have keys to each other’s places. It’s actually a wonder you don’t just live together already. I don’t want to get stuck between that. I’d just feel like a third wheel, you know?”

Eddie opens the six pack and grabs a beer, opening it and taking a long sip. Taylor watches him for a long while.

“Look,” Eddie said after downing almost half the bottle. “He doesn’t feel the same. And I’m still not- I’m still not even sure if this is that . I- Look, I’ve liked girls my entire life. That isn’t suddenly going to change.”

The door opens then and Taylor leans close to Eddie.

“Just because you liked girls doesn’t mean you can’t also like guys. And have you actually thought about how much you liked those girls? Could just be comphet.” She mumbled and then stood up.

“Buck!” She greets and Buck smiled, hugging her gently and then he looked past her at Eddie, smile brightening and eyes lighting up (has he always looked at Eddie like that?).

“Eds! Hey! I ordered us thai on the way, should be here in a bit.” Buck asked and Taylor turns, smiling knowingly at Eddie before ascending the stairs.

“Thanks Buck.”

-

After an embarrassingly longtime researching what the hell comphet (compulsory heterosexuality) was and a long conversation with Frank, Eddie realised he was not in fact as straight as previously mentioned.

Gay.

Eddie Diaz was gay.

Thinking back on it, it kind of made sense. How no matter how perfect Ana was, he couldn’t bring himself to love her. How there was always this feeling of wrongness being with Shannon. He’d been sexually attracted to her (and that part worried him a little, cause he knew he could be sexually attracted to women and romantically attracted to guys, but if he couldn’t be romantically attracted to women, what if he wasn’t sexually attracted to men? It might cause problems in relationships) but not romantically.

Now he had the whole… coming out part.

He already told Christopher, basically almost immediately after the therapy meeting where he put it all together, and then he called his parents (and they were both more or less supportive, though Ramon made some comment about how “of course he is”). 

So telling his biological family, that part was done.

Now

Now he had to tell his fire family.

Part of him was foolishly worried, he knew they were all supportive, hell, Buck is bisexual, Ravi is poly and Hen is a lesbian.

But it’s because of that that he’s worried. What if they ask about Shannon, what if they think he’s faking? They’ve all known for years who they were, he’s 36 and just now putting it together. 

Eddie tells himself he’s being ridiculous as he walks into the firehouse the next day.

He’s trying to calm himself, not work himself into another panic attack because this isn’t even anything bad, this is easy, simple.

They’re all sat at the table on the loft, Bobby is cooking and Buck is info dumping about a new subject he and Christopher are learning while Hen reads her textbook, nodding every now and then. Ravi and Chimney are laughing to each other in the corner and Lucy is half asleep in her chair, arms crossed.

“Uh,” Eddie greeted. “Hey, guys, can I… talk to you about something?”

The all turn their focus to him, Lucy peeking one eye open and Bobby looks over his shoulder.

“Of course, Eddie, sit down, breakfast is almost done.” Bobby said and Eddie swallowed hard and nodded, taking a seat next to Buck and he stared hard at the table.

“Oh shit this is hard,” Eddie said, leaning forward and hiding his face in his hands when he failed to find the words.

“Eds, are you like… okay? You’re not leaving again, right?” Buck has a little fear laced in his voice and Eddie shook his head.

“No, no it’s nothing- It’s nothing bad .” Eddie promised and when he looks up, both Ravi and Hen are looking at each other with knowing expressions before turning back to him.

“I-” Eddie rubs at his mouth and sighed. “Look okay this is apparently like… Long term coming? I mean, like this is a really late discovery for me and shit knows Frank had to work overtime yesterday but-”

Eddie groans and then sits up straighter. “I’m gay.” He said and waits for their reactions.

They’re all silent for a moment, taking in the news and Eddie grows more and more nervous with each tick of the clock.

“Cool,” Lucy said before closing her eyes again.

“Yeah man, we support you. Obviously.” Ravi said and Chimney nods. “We still love you like the same old Eddie you are.”

“Welcome to the crew,” Hen said with a teasing smile. 

“Congrats on figuring yourself out,” Bobby said as he walked over with everything for breakfast.

Eddie relaxed and sighed a little as he and everyone else starts grabbing things for breakfast.

When the silence has run too long and everyone realises that one person hasn’t said anything, they all turn to Buck.

Buck, who is squinting at the wood grain of the table with such intensity it should catch fire.

“Buck?” Eddie asked, nervous and there’s definitely a tinge of fear seeping into his voice. 

Buck turns to him now, eyes a little vacant as he looked at Eddie, his expression unreadable.

“What?” He asked and Eddie looked at the others for help but they all quickly avoided eye contact. 

“You- You haven’t said anything.” Eddie said and the fear that maybe Buck wouldn’t accept him as a gay man because he’s been ith women, or thinks maybe he’s faking it, grows even though it’s a ridiculous concern to have.

“Yeah,” Buck mumbled and Eddie’s tongue feels like lead in his mouth as he speaks.

“Do you like… not accept me?” Eddie asked, brows furrowed.

“What?” That snaps Buck back from wherever his mind had been drifting off to. “What, no Eds, of course I accept you.” 

But there’s still something in his voice that confuses him and Eddie wants to know what it is.

“Then what was… all that?” Eddie asked and Buck shakes his head as he grabs breakfast food.

“Nothing, nothing, don’t worry about it.” Buck said.

But Eddie is going to worry about it.

Buck

Eddie and Buck are sat on Buck’s couch. It’s one of their “Kids free” hanging out times, Christopher is at a sleepover with Denny, so they’re at Buck’s loft watching R rated movies they never had any other chances to watch.

They were having a nice time, not really speaking but just sipping on their beers and eating popcorn while sat on the couch, a little too close but who would stop them?

Eddie loved times like these, where it was just them doing nothing because they had time to enjoy life just for a few moments.

But of course, something ruins it.

There’s a knock at the door and for a moment, neither Buck or Eddie move until the knocking gets louder. Eddie moves his leg and nudges Buck and Buck groaned as he stood up to answer it, awkwardly stumbling through the dark.

Eddie’s eyes are still fixed on the TV, figuring it was one of Buck’s neighbours giving him his mail (it’s been getting mixed up a lot with his neighbours recently, the new mail guy sucked) but then he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Buck, sorry, I think I left one of my blazers here.” Taylor’s voice rang through. 

“Oh no worries, come in you can check, it might be mixed up in the laundry.” Buck said and entered the room, flopping down on the couch, closer to Eddie this time.

Taylor moved in and walked over to the laundry bin and when her eyes landed on Eddie, she grinned wickedly.

“Oh, hey Eds.” She greeted and Eddie hummed in response, smiling gently at her. Since their whole eye opening conversation, Eddie had kind of backed off on the hate on her. She promised she wasn’t making moves on Buck and was just friendly with him, he really has no reason to hate her.

“Hey Tay,” He mostly says it to tease at the fact she used a nickname, but when she laughed at it, Eddie decided that was all he would call her now.

Taylor begins rummaging through the laundry bin as she continues talking to him.

“You've been thinking about that thing we talked about?” Taylor asked and Eddie nodded, no longer paying attention to the movie as they talked. Buck shifts a little next to him and he’s a little closer to Eddie, but Eddie isn’t sure if Buck notices.

“Yeah, it… actually helped me out. A lot.” Eddie tells her and she smiled over her shoulder at him. “I’m glad. You know, I kind of wet through something similar. Obviously not quite the same as you, but, similar.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, was Taylor bisexual? Or did she mean the part about having a crush on her best friend?

“Oh, really? Guess you’ll have to tell me about it sometime then,” He said and she smiled warmly. “Of for sure, we can meet up for coffee or something stupid like that if you want. And then you can tell me about how well this whole thing has been going for you.”

“Coffee sounds good, but just a warning, I’m awful before drinking it,” Eddie said and Taylor laughs at that.

Buck makes some sort of sound next to him, like an annoyed huff and suddenly there’s a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie doesn’t question it though, Buck is a very tactile person and he could be upset about something happening in the movie.

Taylor looks at Buck and suddenly grins wickedly. She pulls out her missing blazer and then struts over, standing in front of the television and she puts a hand on her waist.

“Well, thanks Buck for letting me grab my blazer,” Taylor said and Buck hums, and it sounds annoyed again and Eddie raised an eyebrow and is going to ask him about it but Taylor is walking closer to him. “And glad that my little chat with you was so eye opening, see you sometime soon!”

And then she leans down and pressed a kiss to his cheek before waving and leaving.

Eddie blinked a little in shock but shakes it off and turns to focus on the movie.

But Buck grabs the remote and turns it off, standing up and huffing again.

“Okay, what is going on?” Eddie asked, because Buck’s mood had soured so quickly in the last five minutes.

“Nothing,” Buck mumbled and it’s that same “nothing” from when Eddie came out and that fear that Buck thinks he’s faking his sexuality comes back.

“Bullshit it’s nothing,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“You’ve been acting off since I came out, any correlation?” Eddie asked and Buck crossed his arms and turned to look at him.

“No, Eds. It’s not- It’s not you.” Buck mumbled and Eddie can’t see his expression well because of the dark.

“Then what is it?” Eddie asked.

“What did you and Taylor talk about?” Buck asked instead of answering and Eddie frowned.

“It’s… kind of personal, dude.” Eddie mumbled, cause he wasn’t going to tell his best friend, the love of his life , that they talked about how he had feelings for him.

“It’s personal? You talked about something personal with Taylor?” Buck asked and Eddie scoffed.

“Dude she’s your friend,” Eddie reminds. “You’re friends with her and she pointed something out to me that helped me realise a lot of things. As an outsider view.”

“Well realise what?” Buck asked and Eddie sighed.

“It’s still personal.”

“And- And why was she all like, flirty with you? Asking you out on a date and then kissing you and stuff.” Buck grumbled and Eddie frowned.

“Buck, I’m gay. It doesn’t matter that she’s flirting with me. Which I don’t think she is because she likes you, by the way.” Eddie said and Buck shakes his head.

“No, no, I asked her out and she said no. And does she know you’re gay? Cause she was still flirting with you, like smiling and winking and kissing you.” Buck mumbled and this sounds…

Familiar.

Oh.

Eddie stands and takes a few steps in front of Buck, a grin slowly growing on his face.

“Buck,” He said and now that he’s closer he can see the way Buck is pouting and avoiding looking at him. “Are you… jealous? ” 

He knows he sounds a little too hopeful, a little too excited at the concept that Buck was jealous just like he had been these past few months.

“I- No I mean- I’m not jealous cause- That’s just-” Buck is stammering ver his words and Eddie takes another step forward, praying to whatever was out there that he wasn’t reading this wrong as he reached out and grabbed Buck’s face.

“Buck, are you jealous?” Eddie asked and Buck stared at him. 

“Kind of.” Buck mumbled and Eddie sighed out slowly. 

“Of me or her?” Eddie asked and Buck’s brows furrowed.

“What?” He asked.

“Are you jealous cause she was flirting with me? ” Eddie asked and Buck nodded a little.

“Are you jealous because you wanted her to flirt with you?” Eddie asked and Buck stays still, but Eddie can feel how his jaw tightened.

“Are you jealous because… you wanted to flirt… with me?” Eddie asked, hoping that he wasn’t about to just destroy literal years of friendship right now.

Buck hesitates before nodding a little again.

“Buck, you have nothing to be jealous about,” Eddie said and Buck huffed. “Cause you’re gay?” He asked.

“Cause I’m in love with you .” Eddie said and Buck’s eyes snap to him, wide and staring deep into Eddie’s.

“You- You’re in love with me?” Buck asked and it was Eddie’s turn to nod small.

“You love me?” Buck asked and Eddie laughed gently. “Yeah, I am.”

“Like for real?” Buck clarified and Eddie barked out loudly with laughter. “ Yes . Evan, I love you.” Eddie said and Buck is smiling widely.

“Like actually?” Buck asked and Eddie shook his head in exasperation.

“Stop questioning me and give me some sort of sign you either feel the same or don’t,” Eddie tries to joke but his voice breaks a little because he’s scared he’s ruining this.

“Oh, shit, Eddie, Eds, I love you too.” Buck said, moving his hands to his waist. “Like, love you lots. When you came out, I got upset cause like- I always thought it was fine if you didn’t like me back, you just didn’t swing that way. And you came out and I was like, shit , he just won’t ever like me.”

“ That’s why you went all dark and brooding?” Eddie asked. “I thought you thought I was like faking being gay, you had me worried you didn’t accept me.”

“No, gods, no Eddie, I just- I really love you, you know?” Buck pulls Eddie in a little closer. “I think I was like, two seconds away from just fighting Taylor because she was all over you.” 

“Imagine my pain! Everywhere we go at work she’s there all the time like Oh Buck that’s so cool tell me more! I thought she was trying to get into your pants!” Eddie said and Buck scoffed. “No, really, I did. But she’s- She’s actually the one who helped me come to terms with my sexuality. Or she gave me the word for it, comphet.”

“Oh,” Buck said and Eddie laughed.

“Yeah, oh .” Eddie shuffles a little closer, thumb caressing Buck’s cheek.

“We’re idiots,” Buck states and Eddie smiles softly. “Yeah, we are.” He mumbled and Buck swallowed and smiled a little nervously.

“I love you so much, Buck. I knew I loved you, I was just… Freaking out cause I didn’t know if I was gay or what. Or if my brain was playing some sort of trick. And I kept trying to hide that feeling that I was in love with you, but it was just right there. I love you so much.”

Buck huffs out and his hand flexes on Eddie’s waist.

“Look, I am trying really hard to pay attention, but I really want to kiss you,” Buck said and Eddie grinned, leaning a little closer and looking at him through his eyelashes.

“Am I that pretty, Buck?” Eddie asked, voice a little low and Buck swallowed again.

“You don’t even fucking know.” Buck whispered and leaned down to connect their lips.

Eddie’s palm tightened on Buck’s jaw and he angled his head a little.

The kiss felt like fireworks exploding in his chest.

He never quite understood why people said kisses were magical he’d kissed Shannon and Ana many times and felt nothing, but now, as he stands here in Buck’s loft with all the lights off, Buck’s hands wrapped tightly around his waist and his jaw moving under his hand as they kiss, he gets it.

Their tongues brush against each other and Eddie is opening his mouth wide when Buck presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth and their kiss becomes sloppy as Buck moves to the side, kissing down Eddie’s jaw, teeth brushing against him and Eddie’s hands move to grasp at his shoulders.

“Buck,” Eddie says, voice soft and shaky and Buck hums, smiling against him.

“You know,” Buck mumbles. “We’ve got the whole place to ourselves.”

Eddie nods as Buck moves lower, mouthing at the juncture of his neck.

“What do you say we take this to the bedroom?” Buck mumbles and Eddie nods.

“Yes, come one,” Eddie says.

It’s safe to say that Eddie was definitely sexually attracted to guys.