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Saguru had started truly seeing the signs shortly after Kaito had agreed to a relationship with him, after it became possible for Saguru to observe him without fearing Kaito shutting him out.
Watching Kaito and Aoko banter back and forth, it began to occur to Saguru just how lonely Kaito really was. In the two weeks since they had entered a relationship, Saguru had only seen Kaito talk to him and Aoko, and occasionally Akako.
Kaito had responded to his classmates' greetings of course, and he still pulled his usual tricks in school. But holding anything longer than a very brief exchange with their classmates? Saguru hadn't seen it.
Thoughts moving past their classmates, Saguru considered the rest of Kaito's social life, frowning slightly. Aoko's father, Nakamori, was an adult, and he was trying to arrest Kaito's alter ego, so he wasn't an option. Kaito's mother was family, and she was almost always out of the country. Jii-san was Kaito's assistant, but his determination to view Kaito primarily as his master’s son made it so he couldn't be classified as a friend. Anyone Kaito knew as KID wasn't an option either, as none of them knew the true face behind the monocle.
Saguru frowned even deeper, still watching Kaito and Aoko. Who did Kaito have then, outside of a few people? Kaito could count the number of people who truly knew him on one hand.
Saguru wondered if Kaito himself had realized how small his circle of trusted confidants was. Resolving to ask Kaito at the earliest opportunity, Saguru settled into his seat as class began.
-
The opportunity came a few days later, when Saguru invited Kaito to work on homework together at his house. They had recently finished the last assignment, and Kaito was stretched out across Saguru's bed, looking relaxed.
Stacking their schoolbooks into a pile to give himself something to do while he worked up the nerve to ask, Saguru slowly placed the last book on the pile before venturing very carefully:
"Kaito, how many people do you trust?"
Kaito looked over at him, startled, brow furrowing.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you have trusted me with your secret." Saguru elaborated, still cautious. "And I know Jii-san knows. Is there anyone else?"
Kaito frowned at him, an unreadable look in his eyes.
"My mom."
"She already knew about KID." Saguru pointed out.
"Akako." Kaito sat up, crossing his arms.
Saguru raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if he was pushing too much. "From what you've told me, Akako-san learned your identity herself. You did not trust her enough to tell her."
Kaito swallowed, an odd expression flickering over his face, gone in an instance.
"What are you trying to get at, Saguru?"
"Well." Saguru faltered, unsure of how to phrase the thoughts running through his mind. "For someone who seems to adore the praise of an audience, you're actually quite lonely."
Kaito stared at him, a beat of silence passing between them. Finally, Kaito shifted slightly, tilting his head.
"Does that bother you?"
Saguru blinked, not having expected the question. Kaito did seem to always know how to catch him off guard.
"It concerns me." Saguru answered at last. "Social isolation can be...damaging."
Perhaps Saguru was relating to his own troubles of being caught between two worlds, never really fully belonging in either of his home countries. Nonetheless, the results of social isolation remained the same.
Kaito gave an unconcerned laugh, shaking his head.
"I'm not isolated, Saguru, I just don't advertise I'm a wanted criminal."
Ah. So Kaito was putting up a mask for this conversation. Saguru resisted the urge to grit his teeth.
"You know what I mean." Saguru insisted, sitting up straighter. "You have no friends."
The words came out more harshly than intended, but Kaito didn't so much as flinch.
"Ouch," was all he said, flippantly, carelessly. Saguru frowned.
"The only person you could consider a friend is Aoko-san, and you regularly lie to her."
That did garner a bit of a reaction, although not the one Saguru wanted. Kaito pressed his lips together, growing more rigid and tense.
"You know why I do that." He growled, and Saguru nodded.
"Yes, but it does not change the fact you do not have close friends. The most you have are our classmates, and you rarely speak with them."
Kaito's eyes narrowed. "It's necessary, Saguru. If people got close to me, they could find out I'm KID, and -"
"You were isolating yourself before you became KID." Saguru cut in, voice sharp. "Aoko-san is the only one you regularly interacted with."
"And this is your problem why?" Kaito's gaze on Saguru hardened into a glare, hands tightening.
"I care about you." Saguru sent Kaito an incredulous look. "Why wouldn't I care?"
Something in his tone must have done something, because Kaito abruptly deflated, sinking back against the bed.
"Maybe agreeing to a relationship was a mistake." He muttered, staring past Saguru, eyes focusing on nothing.
"You don't mean that." Saguru tried, even as the words pierced through his heart, and a rush of icy fear washed over him.
"Like you said, I don't get close to people." Kaito said dully. "You shouldn't have been an exception."
"Why?" Saguru demanded, rising to his feet. "Because you can't handle the thought of someone caring about you?"
"Yeah. Sure." Kaito responded, making a vague hand gesture. "You're right. I can't handle it. So it would be better to -"
"Stop." Saguru interrupted, eyes narrowing. "If I had been right, you would have denied it. What is the real reason, Kaito?"
"Nothing." Kaito said, and if Saguru hadn't known any better, it would have sounded genuine.
"It's not about someone caring about you, is it?" Saguru challenged, moving closer. "It's about you caring about someone."
Kaito fell silent and Saguru knew he had found the real answer.
"You haven't gotten close to anyone since your father died, have you?" He asked softly, settling next to Kaito on the bed. Kaito twitched slightly at his words, as if he had held back a shudder.
"That's not any of your -"
"Kaito." Saguru interrupted, voice still soft. "Some part of you is still afraid of losing the ones you care about. So you don't get close to anyone, because if they leave it won't hurt as much. Is that right?"
Kaito swallowed and refused to meet Saguru's eyes. Saguru sighed, the anger that had risen in him draining away, leaving only quiet concern. Kaito hadn't really had much help after his father had died. His mother had grown more and more distant, and although the Nakamoris had tried to help, there was only so much they could do. It was no wonder Kaito had developed such a defense mechanism, but that fact didn't make it hurt any less.
"Then why me?" Saguru asked, even though Kaito still averted his eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"Why agree to a relationship with me?"
"I don't know." Kaito muttered. "You just...you were different somehow. I wanted someone who would accept both sides of me, I guess."
Saguru nodded, carefully taking one of Kaito's hands in his own.
"I am not going to leave you." He said quietly. "I will chase you to every corner of the Earth and beyond if I have to."
Kaito slowly looked up, and Saguru could feel the hand he was holding trembling slightly. Kaito's mouth opened and closed, but no sounds came out, and at last he just slowly leaned forward, until he was laying against Saguru. Saguru quickly wrapped his free arm around Kaito, pulling him close.
"You're not alone, Kaito." He said gently. "I understand it may take some time for you to let other people in, but for now...please allow me to be close with you."
"...Ok." Kaito whispered after a moment, not moving from Saguru's hold.
"Thank you." Saguru murmured in his ear, before dropping a kiss on Kaito's hair. Something within Kaito seemed to relax at that, and he shifted to a more comfortable position in Saguru's arms.
"I am still concerned about your social life though." Saguru informed him, as Kaito looked up at him.
Kaito snorted, rolling his eyes. "Hey, I already let you in. Baby steps."
"Indeed. But you do need more than one trusted person in your life." Saguru gently pressed, resting his hand in Kaito's hair.
"...Maybe eventually." Kaito muttered, not batting Saguru's hand away. "In the meantime though...at least I have this."
"And you always will." Saguru confirmed, inwardly marveling at how soft Kaito's hair was. Something must have shown on his face, because Kaito's ears turned pink, and his eyes darted away.
"Hakubaka." He grumbled, but Saguru heard the undercurrent of relief in his voice.
"Thief." Saguru replied, smirking slightly.
"Hebo-tantei." Kaito threw back, looking up at him again, eyes gleaming.
Saguru's smirk widened. "Love of my life." He whispered against Kaito's ear.
Kaito yelped, eyes flying wide open. "Saguru!"
Saguru couldn't help but laugh, Kaito's expression settling into one of mock-indignation. They hadn't completely settled everything, and Kaito still had a lot to work through with his relationships.
But they were one step closer than before, and that was all that mattered.