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Spock was walking towards the observation deck due to an invitation from the Captain to meet there when his shift finished.
Things had been...complicated between them the past week.
After consummating their relationship and then introducing Sarek to Jim as Spock's mate things had started going sour. Sarek had been less than pleased at his son's choice of a male mate and had said some less than polite things to Jim. While it had angered Spock that his father would insult Jim like that, Spock also knew that it had made Jim worry about their future. Spock could hardly deny that the approval of his father had been something he'd used to wish for. It was only logical that Jim would worry that their relationship was in jeopardy now Sarek had so openly disparaged it. Spock wasn't proud of the fact that perhaps he hadn't done all he could have to convince Jim that there was nothing in the Universe that could draw Spock away from him.
This had resulted in Jim sleeping in his own quarters instead of with Spock in his and for conversation or contact to be reduced to only what was necessary within the confines of the bridge. The rest of the time, Spock would receive what Sulu had called 'the cold shoulder' from the Captain.
The Vulcan missed Jim deeply, more than he ever thought possible.
He missed falling asleep in Jim's arms, then waking up entangled around each other, their limbs stitched together as if they were one person. He missed the way Jim's eyes, still clouded with sleep, would look up at Spock as if he was the only thing that mattered.
As his footsteps echoed down the corridor, Spock could vaguely hear someone strumming on a guitar. It was faint but it was there. Rounding the corner, Spock raised an eyebrow when it became clear that the music was coming from where he was supposed to meet Jim.
Surely it couldn't be?
Spock wasn't aware that Jim could play the guitar. As soft singing began, Spock realised that it was in fact Jim playing and the Vulcan automatically frowned at the tone of his T'hy'la's voice. Jim sounded absolutely broken.
"There's so much craziness surrounding me,
There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me,
You make it real for me."
Spock froze as the doors to the observation deck opened to reveal Jim, sitting with his back to the door, strumming an ancient looking guitar and singing. Stepping inside silently, Spock watched Jim's fingers move masterfully across the strings. The lyrics began to become clearer as Jim's voice sung out slightly louder.
"When I'm not sure of my priorities,
When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
And like holy water washing over me,
You make it real for me."
Spock couldn't help but analyse the words, it was within his nature to make logical connections between things and seeing as their relationship hadn't been the best this past week, it would be perfectly reasonable to assume Jim had chosen the song because it held some significance to their current predicament.
"When my head is strong, but my heart is weak,
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak,
You make it real for me."
Jim's skill was breathtaking. Spock was speechless. Not only did Jim seem to be playing and singing from memory, every note sounding like smooth, rich chocolate as it reached Spock's ears and just as if it was real chocolate, Spock felt intoxicated, craving more of this wonderful sound and wanting to approach Jim and gaze into bright blue eyes while entwining himself in the man's embrace.
Still, Spock knew that it was highly likely that Jim would desist if he knew of Spock's presence. This was made obvious by the fact that Jim had never sung or played guitar around any of the crew before and therefore probably wished it to be secret.
"Everybody's talking in words I don't understand,
You've got to be the only one who knows just who I am
And you're shining in the distance,
I hope I can make it through
'Cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you."
Spock nearly winced as one particular lyric hit home a little too hard. After he began being introduced as Spock's mate, Jim had become the main topic of conversation; Vulcan conversation, conducted in Vulcan tongue, something Jim did not understand.
However, Jim's usually sharp instincts had told him that he was being mocked and they had, as usual, been correct. Jim had tried to shrug off these unknown insults but Spock could see the hurt on his face and could feel the anguish through their bond. They had left shortly after they had arrived but Spock could see the damage had been done, Jim was devastated and there was nothing the Vulcan could do.
Jim's voice suddenly regained its softer tone as the music became slower.
"I guess there's so much more I have to learn,
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run,
You make it real for me."
Spock could hear the tears in Jim's eyes before he could see them. Unable to listen to anymore, Spock had walked silently to Jim and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Spock!" Jim exclaimed as he spun around in fright.
"I apologise for startling you, Jim," Spock said calmly, the sudden rush of feeling he always felt coming through from Jim missing the usual relaxed vibe. Jim was on edge, not just from the sudden scare, but from sadness and worry as well.
Jim had smiled before the realisation of what he had just been doing hit him and Spock watched his cheeks blush crimson.
"You heard me didn't you?" Jim stated more than asked.
Spock just nodded. Jim looked down at his guitar in embarrassment while Spock moved around to sit beside him, angling his body towards his mate.
"Did you wish me to? Was that the reason for you inviting me here?" Spock asked. Jim shook his head, his cheeks still burning.
"No, I just...didn't know what to say to you and singing normally helps calm me down or give me inspiration so I..." Jim trailed off, placing the guitar on the floor.
An awkward silence filled the room while both the men tried to think of what to say.
"Jim..." Spock started. Jim shook his head, gesturing for Spock to wait.
"Spock, I've been an idiot. More than usual and I'm really sorry, this is all my fault," he started, tears welling in his eyes. Spock slid two of his fingers across Jim's, the Vulcan kiss seemingly calming his Captain.
"Jim, you have nothing to apologise for. My father has made the decision to dislike my choice to have you as my bond mate. I should have made my thoughts clear to you on the matter and for that I am the one apologising," Spock explained.
Jim was watching him in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" Jim's words quivered as he spoke.
"My T'hy'la, no one could make me leave you for the very thought of not being with you is abhorrent," Spock said quietly, his eyes saying much more than his words ever could.
"Spock, I...I don't...don't know what I'd do without you," Jim stammered, tears starting to slip down his cheeks. Spock took the man into his arms, holding him tightly, as if scared Jim might break if he wasn't kept together.
"I know I'm not good enough for your father or your people and I probably never will be but-"
"Jim," Spock said, his voice steady and quiet, "you are good enough for me, more so than anything else."
Spock gently tilted Jim's chin up and placed a chaste kiss to his lover's lips, humming when he felt Jim's mood lift through their bond.
This brief brush of lips wasn't enough for Jim however, in need of something more as reassurance. As the man pushed his lips to meet Spock's again, a low moan rumbled in Spock's throat as Jim coiled his arms around Spock's neck, his fingers brushing the warm and sensitive skin at the tip of Spock's spine. Their kisses were heated, and Jim whined softly as Spock's tongue left his mouth when they parted for air.
"I've missed you so much," Jim whispered, brushing his nose against Spock's. Spock caressed Jim's face tenderly with one hand.
"As I have you T'hy'la," he replied, pressing a kiss to Jim's forehead, hearing the man sigh heavily.
"Jim, I do have a request that I wish to ask of you," Spock stated suddenly. Jim looked at him, confusion filling his eyes.
Spock gestured to the forgotten guitar, now sitting on the floor.
"Would you sing for me? You are extremely talented and I wish to hear more," he said, raising his eyebrow when Jim chuckled.
Jim picked up the guitar and hummed, strumming a few chords thoughtfully before grinning.
"I think I know the perfect song for us," Jim mused, his fingers arranging themselves accordingly on the guitar as the man began to play.