Chapter Text
It all started when you were window shopping at the mall, you really wanted to get your own crewmate plushie but you were broke as hell, you even considered stealing one but such an act would get you ejected from the mall immediately, so you held back and just sighed with a huge frown on your face.
But then you saw her. A beautiful girl with long blonde hair and pink clothes. “What the hell are you doing you dork?” She says, “You don’t have enough money for a mere Among Us plushie? I just bought 3 Fall Guys plushies myself, maybe if you were into good games like Fall Guys and not Among Us you wouldn’t be so broke!” “What the ACTUAL fuck,” you think to yourself and she’s not beautiful anymore that’s for sure, you just stand there in shock as she starts flaunting one of her plushies, she wants you to see how cool and awesome it is, and now you’re just angry that you have nothing to throw at her so that she’ll stop it with this idiocy, instead you just pounce at her and take the plushie and throw it on the ground and stomp on it “Take this, and take that, piece of shit!” Among other things that you yell at the plushie and it’s all dirty now, “What is wrong with you, you stupid bitch!?” The girl says as she tackles you and then picks up the plushie and pats it telling it that everything will be okay, you didn’t rip it apart so she just has to wash it at home, it’s whatever.
“You’re insane! This behavior isn’t fucking normal! Maybe if you played a normal game for normal people you would be normal!” She’s so mad you start chuckling and that just makes her even madder, now she’s staring at you dead in the eye as she slowly approaches you, before she can beat the shit out of you she’s stopped by a security guard, “Victory!” You think, the impostor is getting ejected and now she’ll leave you alone, but then you hear another guard behind you “You’re coming with us too” she says, “B-but why!? She was about to beat me up” you tell the guards, but then one of them tells you that they saw what you were doing in the Security room with the cameras, dang it!
Both of you are kicked out of the mall, at least they didn’t fine you but now you’re salty that you could’ve just gone with your original plan of stealing the plushie in the first place and then you wouldn’t have met this stupid bitch. While you’re gruntling the stupid bitch looks down at you, “Hey, I’m sorry about what happened back there…” she tells you and you reply “Well you better be! It was all your fault!” So she says “What the hell is wrong with you? I'm trying to be nice and make up, of course the Among Us addict can’t stop making false accusations!” It appears that she’s trying to speak your idiom, “No no, I’m the crewmate and you’re the impostor sabotaging my beautiful day.” So she says “No? I was just minding my business and then you came like a gang of pigeons and fucked everything up!” You don’t get this reference.
Whatever whatever, there’s nothing either of you can do now, the sun is setting and you could just go home but you feel like you should stay here with this poor girl a little longer since you kind of feel bad for what happened, you did lose control back there even though all of this would’ve been avoided if she wasn’t such a stupid bitch. You don’t find it in yourself to look at her stupid face so you just look down while sitting beside her, maybe there’s more to her than what just happened, she did try to apologize for what she did before she reverted to being an asshole.
“Hey, I’m sorry about what happened back the-” wait a second, those are exactly the words she used, like what are you a shapeshifter who just shifted into the ugliest pink crewmate ever with the shittiest Blondie wig? Actually wait, could that be a wig that she’s wearing? But why would she wear a wig? You think if she was wearing a wig maybe she’d want to wear something cooler, like maybe the Funky Fusion one! Although… would that suit her? Maybe if she wore different clothing, maybe the Toppat Skirt or the Vested Interest would go well with it?
Wait, what the hell are you even thinking about? What was your task right now? Oh right, apologizing! Ugh, you’ll just say whatever and be done with it. “I’m sorry for what happened there, I don’t know what came over me, maybe it’s the same parasite that affects the impostors, or maybe I’m shifting blame into something else to appear innocent, but either way I’m truly sorry.” You don’t hear a response from her but you sure can hear things, from your own brain, telling you how embarrassing it was to have to apologize to a Fall Guys fan, hell, you didn’t even HAVE to, actually you did it because you’re a good person that wants others to feel good, you know that even “people” like her have feelings. This train of thought leads you to realize that you don’t even know her name! You bet she must have a shitty name with 1337speak because the name her parents wanted to give her was taken, unlike in Among Us where everyone in the world could have the same name if they damn wanted, maybe her name is 817ch1d107455h0l, without an e at the end due to the character limit.
“Hey dude what’s your name?” you ask her but a few seconds pass and you don’t get a response, is she so mad that she won’t even have the courtesy of telling you her damned name? Ugh this sucks, you’ll never try to be nice to someone like her again. You… you hear something.
I-is what you’re hearing… A fucking Fall Guys EDM remix? You immediately look up to her, she’s been wearing airpods, nobody could ever read your poker face right now, you don’t even know how to react, just when you were trying to be nice to her she wasn’t even listening to you at all. You stand up in front of her, and she takes notice of that, she pauses the music on her Spotiguys app and looks up to you, “Sorry, did you want to tell me something? I was checking my Fallbook,” “Just give me your phone number, I’ll WhatsUs you later, this ain’t over just yet,” you tell her and she looks at you with a mix of confusion and disgust in her face, “What kind of app is WhatsUs? It sounds stupid”, you make a fist with your hand, “Then what the hell do you use!?” You yell, “Teleguys, of course” she tells you, “Yes, of course, of course… I ain’t downloading that!” She facepalms, “Then do you at least have Instagram?” Oh, you do have that, but now you wonder, just plain old Instagram? Not Instafall or some stupid shit like that? You’re not going to actually ask her though, you’ve had enough with her stupid apps.
She gives you her username and you write it down in your notes, when she asks why you’re not just following her right away you tell her that you need to make an alt, you can’t be seen following her. “Don’t be such an idiot, are you going to get kicked out of the Super Crewmate cult or whatever if you follow an awesome Fall Guys fan like me?” And as soon as you open your mouth to explain she just shushes you, she doesn’t wanna hear it, “Just fucking follow me, I won’t accept requests from any new accounts,” “Ugh, fine” you say and you type out her username in the search bar, and going to her profile makes you raise an eyebrow, “Is your display name your real name?” “Well of course, why would I use a fake name online?” She responds, “This game did not exist 30 years ago when you were probably born,” she’s pissed that you practically called her a grandma, “I was always ready for the game to come out, I was born to play it!” You yell at her “Your fucking name isn’t Fall Guys Girl!” “Yes it fucking is! Follow me, I want to see your profile,” you tap the follow button and she immediately checks her phone with a determined face that tells you she’s ready to make fun of you for your shitty Instagram page and…
“Your name is not Among Us Girl you idiot!” She yells, “You can bet your ass it is!” You yell back. “How can you tell me my name isn’t Fall Guys Girl when your name is Among Us Girl?” “Among Us has existed since forever, look at the old Egyptian paintings there’s-” she stops you, “That’s not a fucking Among Us he barely has the rough bean shape are you stupid!? He looks like a Fall Guy if anything,” she gets so mad over such simple stuff, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Medjed, who is obviously named after MedBay, is a Fall Guy,” that’s not what she meant to say and you know it, but it’s fun to see her get so mad, “That’s not what I said and you know it, you just want to see me get mad!” It’s like she’s reading your mind, “I’m just telling you that he looks like neither of them but when compared he looks more like a Fall Guy than a crewmate,” she explains and then proceeds to tell you, trying to do a scary grin, “Whatever! Just go home, look, we wasted so much time here the sun set already, so run home before the impostors start coming out to kill you,” you explain to her that the impostors are always hiding in plain sight at any time of the day, maybe impostors are different in Fall Guys, but in Among Us- “There’s no impostors in Fall Guys!” She cuts you off, “Well I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak over me while I’m giving my-” “Shut up! It’s getting really late and I have a tournament tonight I have to go, I’m calling a friend to pick me up, you can go catch the Among Bus or whatever,” when she’s done talking about her stupid shit and turns around to look at you, you’re already inside a red bus with light blue windows waving goodbye at her with a smile.
You just got yourself a new worstie!