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The first prank was harmless enough, Wilson woke up extra early that morning and decided to have some fun as House point blank refused to help with the dishes the night before. He quietly got out of bed, trying hard not to wake up the sleeping man laying next to him. He snuck out of the room and made his way towards the closet that House stored his sneakers in, carefully taking out one of each pair. He went through to the bathroom, arms full of odd shoes, and took off the sheet of plastic that covered the front of the bathtub, revealing the plumbing underneath. He quickly stashed the shoes before placing the plastic back into place.
When House woke up, he got ready like he normally would and Wilson tried hard to control his facial expressions as to not give anything away. When they went to head out the door, House opened the closet to pick a set of sneakers and immediately shut it again.
”Where are they?” He asked as Wilson smirked.
”What do you mean?” He responded.
”I appear to have mismatched sneakers,” House told him, opening the door again and pulling out a plain white left shoe and a blue and red right one.
”How strange,” Wilson said, fake curiosity in his voice.
”Don’t play dumb with me, you did this,” House accused.
”I don’t know what you’re on about,” Wilson replied, “I’ll be in the car when you’re ready.”
After about 10 minutes and a thorough check of the apartment, House hobbled out of the door with his mismatched sneakers.
”I hate you,” he grumbled as he got in the car.
”Maybe next time you could pitch in with the house work,” Wilson said as he drove off.
————
Foreman raised an eyebrow at his boss we was continuously popping his head out of the door and looking down the corridor during their differential.
”What are you doing?” He eventually asked.
”Looking out for Wilson,” House replied, spotting the man as he stepped off the elevator. House quickly stepped further into the office so he wasn’t seen.
”So you’re looking for him but don’t want him to see you?” Chase asked.
”Exactly,” House told him, he got closer to the door and checked the corridor again, he saw Wilson disappear behind the corner on the way to his office and swiftly followed, his three protégés following out of curiosity. They got to the corner and House hid against the wall as if he were James Bond before shushing the younger doctors and motioning for them to do the same. They just stood there looking at him and he rolled his eyes. He heard the lock on Wilson’s door unlock before hearing a thud.
”House!” Wilson shouted. The man in question stepped out from his hiding spot to smile at, a now soaking wet, Wilson.
”What seems to be the problem?” He asked.
”Hmm, I don’t know, Maybe the bucket of water that just dropped on me as I opened my door!” Wilson replied. House’s team thought it’d be best to stay in their hiding place as they watched the encounter between the two men.
”Oh wow, who would leave that laying around?” House asked and Wilson just scowled at him before shutting the door.
————
The days that followed were filled with endless pranks, each one more annoying than the last for the members of the Princeton Plainsboro diagnostic team.
One day found Cameron being shot with a paintball as Wilson hid behind his desk for House, who he had paged. But House being House had sent Cameron in his place.
Another day led to Chase falling over a trip wire that House had set up for Wilson and wasn’t happy that the Australian had ruined his trap.
The team had had enough when Foreman was sprayed in the face with water when he used the tap in the outer office, Wilson having messed with it in the hopes of getting revenge on House.
The final prank was the one that had gone too far and got them into more trouble than they’d expected. Wilson had been paged to Cuddy’s office and when he got there he knocked on the door and went in.
”You wanted to see me?” He asked and she looked at him in confusion.
”No, I didn’t,” she replied.
”But I got a-“ he started, looking down at his pager when the realisation hit him, “that son of a bitch,” he muttered as he ran out of the room. He sprinted up the stairs, deciding that the elevator would have been too slow. When he got to his office he burst through the door causing House to jump. That was when the mistake was made. House managed to let go of whatever contraption he was setting up in Wilson’s desk drawer, causing parts to go shooting in different directions at high velocity. The two men ducked and covered their heads with their arms as the sounds of glass shattering filled the air. When it stopped they looked around and saw two broken windows, a broken light and the smashed glass of one of Wilson’s framed posters.
“Well that couldn’t have gone any worse,” House commented, tempting fate. They both ducked again as panels started to fall out of the ceiling and live wires sparked from where the shrapnel had gotten to them through the broken light.
”What the fuck House!” Wilson shouted.
”Yeah I think I might have spoken too soon,” House replied, looking at the mess that was Wilson’s office.
When Cuddy found out about the amount of damage that they’d caused with their prank war, she had shouted at them in her office for almost half an hour before letting them go, both with a month’s worth of clinic duty.