Chapter Text
Neil was engrossed in his iPad, his apple pencil making colorful strokes across the screen when his laptop screen lit up, a Skype call ringing. A familiar name flashed on the screen when Neil looked up from his iPad. A smile bloomed on his face. He answered, wheeling his chair closer.
"Hey."
"Hey Neilio", came Allison's voice. "What's up baby?" She asked with a smile, his pink lipstick bright and her hair golden blonde as always, but it was tied in a high ponytail. She was in her daily running attire, probably on her morning run.
"One, not a baby", Neil grumbled. "I'm twenty seven. And two, I'm good. You?"
"Amazing. I'm going for breakfast with Renee and Dan since they're in town for a while."
"Cool", Neil said as the familiar ache of missing somebody (specifically the foxes) settled in his chest as usual.
"You still don't want to talk to them? It's been eight years, Neil", Allison said before she took a sip from his water bottle.
"Tell me with what face will I tell them?" Neil snapped. "'Hey guys, it's me. The guy who turned your lives into living hell and then disappeared.'" Allison froze as she stopped walking, her lips drawing into a thin line. She sighed. "I'll pass, thank you."
"It's not like that Neil. Nobody thinks that." Neil snorted. "And you stayed in contact with me." Neil rolled his eyes fondly even if he was mad.
"It was a coincidence that the publisher knew you at the time of the photo shoot. Otherwise I wouldn't be in your life now, Allison. You know that." It was rude, it was harsh but it was the truth that both Neil and Allison knew.
"Otherwise you wouldn't have?" Allison asked seriously. Neil didn't say anything, his lips drawn into a thin line. "Right." Silence followed while Allison looked at him through the screen.
"It's not like that, Ally. I've hurt you too much," Neil whispered, more to himself. Allison huffed through the screen.
"It's okay Neil. I get it." Neil scoffed.
"You don't. But it's fine. I'm sorry."
"You say that every alternate call, Neilio. I am gonna start keeping count and then ask for something in return." Neil smiled despite himself.
"Fine. How's everybody else?"
"Great. Matt, Dan and Kevin are on the same team now. Renee will leave again for Cape Town soon. Aaron is planning to move closer to Kevin. Nicky and Eric got yet another dog", Allison updated him, a small smile on her face. Neil didn't ask her about that one person as usual nor did Allison offer. "How are you?"
This time Neil fully smiled. "Good that you asked. I'm meeting with an author and their publisher next week."
"Okay."
"In LA", he added.
"Oh my god", Allison shrieked with joy, a wide grin spreading on her face. "You're flying to LA?"
"Yeah I am", Neil said, laughing a little.
"Hold on, hold on. I need to check my calendar." Neil nodded with a small chuckle as he heard Allison's nails tap on the screen. "When are you coming?"
"Monday through Thursday. Meeting with two authors on Tuesday and Wednesday and there's this convention I've been meaning to attend."
"Okay okay. I'm in Chicago from Friday but I can fly to LA by Tuesday."
"Cool. You can stay. If you want", Neil suggested.
"Aww, did you miss me?" Neil snorted.
"This", he pointed at the screen. "It's getting boring. The last time I saw you was Christmas, which was like almost a year ago." It was true.
Allison had flown out for "an emergency business trip" to London for Christmas to surprise Neil. It had the best Christmas Neil ever had. Neil, Allison and an enthusiastic Stuart had decorated a pretty huge Christmas and the staff had made mouth watering food. It had been a blast.
"I know. I'll stay with you if you don't mind, we'll have fun in LA", she said with a smile.
"That will be nice. Okay I've to go finish work and send it for approval but I'll call you later. Have fun", Neil said.
"Of course baby", Allison teased. "Bye Neilio, see you next week."
"Yes Ally."
"Love you." Neil touched Allison's cheek on the screen, Allison smiled, almost shy.
"I know", he mumbled. Me too , he wanted to add but he didn't. How badly he wanted to. Allison nodded before they hung up.
Neil softly swore under his breath, watching Allison's face disappear and his laptop home screen appear. It was a picture of the Foxes, his Foxes when they had won that one fateful match against the Ravens eight years ago.
It was taken by Abby as Wymack stood in the centre, a rare but proud smile on their usually exhausted Coach's face. He had his arm around Kevin's shoulders, who stood bright, proud and grinning. Then there was Matt, carrying a laughing Dan in his arms and Alison and Renee beside them, arms around each other's waists. Kevin's hand was sneakily tangled in Aaron's, who was probably blushing.
Nicky stood at the almost edge, all teeth and smiles and beside him, stood Andrew Minyard. There wasn't anything new about him. The same blond hair, the hazel of his eyes and the pale of his skin. But his hair was unkempt, a sign that Andrew had moved during the game, put in that effort Neil had always known he had. Sweat glimmered on his forehead and under his brows. There was a twinkle in his eyes and a rare softness to his face, the kind Neil had seen when he was nineteen.
Andrew looked like he was so far away.
From Neil.
He was.
Neil stared at the screen for a little too long before he shut the laptop down and went back to his iPad. It was a logo and package design for a cutlery brand that he was currently working upon. The logo was simple and minimal, a black fork and spoon crisscrossed across each other and two circles around them, a vague plate of sort and the brand's name on the bottom. Neil thought he liked it.
The package design was a treat to the eyes and the part Neil had the most fun working upon. It was for a brand owned by a South Asian woman, Mrs. Iyer and Neil had pitched the idea that he could paint traditional motifs as a part of the package print that would go on papers and boxes and cards and what not.
The owner had absolutely loved it and Neil had had a field day with her in her office eating traditional food and looking through photos and references. It resulted in a beautiful print of traditional colors and intricate motifs which served as a background for a checkered print of utensils made in simple grey against the background.
The background was an explosion of colors, all bright and taken from the brand's origins and the designs that went on the cutlery itself. It was a nice pistachio green with details in yellows, pinks, blues and other colors. It was simply gorgeous. The test runs on papers had been a little weird and Neil had to work on it again, which was a little annoying but Neil had no complaints.
Neil was making the final variation of the two, cleaning lines and matching colors before he would send it over to Mrs. Iyer for the final approval. It took him another hour before he sent the final work through email and got up from his chair. His limbs were aching from sitting at a place for so long as he walked across his room. The sunlight was bright yet the air was supremely cold and Neil felt it in his bones even if he was wearing multiple layers.
Stuart had gone out for a couple of days since yesterday for work which meant Neil was alone in the Hartford mansion except for the helping and caretaker staff. He quite liked them actually. They were all nice and took care of everything and didn't annoy or intrude on Neil's life. And it helped that they played Uno with Neil whenever they were free.
What it did not help was that they talked about Exy and the Queen of Exy (also known as Kevin Day, also known as asshole) and some author named Alan James Martin. He was apparently some best selling American author who wrote crime fiction and thriller books. Neil had read one of them out of pure spite and to his disappointment (or enjoyment, whichever way you see it) he had actually liked it. So there was that. And if had read the rest of the two books, it was nobody's business but his own.
What also did not help was that Neil was going to meet the said Alan James Martin next week in LA for he was interested in Neil designing the cover for his next novel. Neil wasn't stupid to not guess that Alan James Martin was probably a pen name (and a shitty one in Neil's humble opinion). And while Neil wasn't pleased about the author's name, he couldn't say much as he worked under a different name too. Nicolas John, named after two British mathematicians Neil had once come across.
Neil ordered food on his phone, settling on good old Pinot Noir and sushi, a combination suggested by none other than Allison Reynolds herself. It was a heavenly culinary combination, Neil's comfort food even. He always ordered it when he and Allison called for Friday movie nights or random Skype dates. He ate lunch sitting on his bed with sushi and a glass of Pinot Noir while some show played on his laptop.
He spent the remainder of the week working, running, going out with Stuart for walks through London streets and discussing business. While Neil had to admit that his relationship with Stuart had once been very formal and awkward, it was quite normal now. Stuart pestered him to eat and drink and live his life, wrinkles appearing on his forehead as he worried about his nephew. Neil had to assure him every time that yes, he was doing all of that. Well, for the most part.
After Nathan, after making the move to London, after Stuart crumbling and dismantling most of the Moriyama empire, leaving a very small branch under his control, although Ichirou Moriyama supervised it. While Stuart had a strictly business relationship with him, Neil more or less considered him a friend. Ichirou did have good (legal) contacts that reached out to Neil for work which helped a lot. While Neil was an artist now, his knack for math made him a good informal accountant for Ichirou at time, which Stuart did not approve of.
Kengo was gone, Stuart didn't care about Tetsuji and his Exy stick wielding minions enough although Neil made sure that Kevin and Jean were both safe wherever they were. While he absolutely hated digging up his past, he was still efficient in creative, dangerous threats. From what Neil knew from Allison, Kevin was playing for Penn State, one of the top three exy teams. Jean had retired from Exy a couple of years ago while Jeremy continued to play for the USC Trojans. There was a sense of happiness that came with knowing all this to Neil, that people he deeply cared about were truly, genuinely happy. Was he? A little bit but something always felt missing.
It was Saturday night when Neil was on his desk chair, a pint of ice-cream in his hand as watched Penn State and the trio of Kevin, Matt and Dan annihilate the Breckenridge Jackals in the game, claiming an effortless victory. There was a rush of feelings flowing through Neil's chest, watching them smile and cheer in victory. Kevin and Matt were speaking to the press currently as Neil watched, the ice cream melting on his tongue.
"Thank you", Kevin said with his camera worthy smile. "It has been a great time here at Penn State with the added bonus of a few of my oldest friends being here with me", he added, shooting a fond smile at Matt.
Even if Kevin had been an exy obsessed asshole, he had grown to be quite fond of the Foxes. Matt grinned back at him. The reporter asked another question. Kevin's smile dimmed but didn't vanish.
"You can only play with an injured arm for so long", he said. "The doctor has advised me to rest for a few weeks so I'll be out of the team. And thankfully we don't have a lot of games left and I hope the team does well without me." Asshole , Neil thought. Some things never change , he guessed.
Maybe it had been too many feelings bottled up over the course of the past eight years or maybe it was Neil missing the only family that he had or maybe it was him seeing them be so close yet so far away from him that got him thinking. He could do this, right? The press interview got over, Neil finished his ice-cream and walked over to Stuart's office. Stuart looked up, peering from under his glasses, papers and pens strewn about a glass of whiskey closely.
"I need to change my flight destination", Neil said.
"What? Why?" Stuart asked, followed by a sigh and a sip of his whiskey. "And most importantly, where to?"
"I have meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday. I need to reroute my Monday ticket from LA to Palmetto." Stuart's eyes widened instantly at the mention of Palmetto.
"Why do you want to go there for?"
"To see Coach." Stuart raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Neil, what are you saying?" Stuart asked, adjusting his glasses before he took a sip of his whiskey.
"It's been too long, uncle Stuart. I can only miss people for so long", Neil said in a whisper. Stuart's sigh was louder this time.
"Fine, kid. Are you sure? You want me to come along?" Neil rolled his eyes. Stuart smiled a little.
"I'm twenty-seven. I think I can handle it."
"Never thought you wouldn't. You will call me if anything happens, understand?" Stuart said sternly.
"Yes sir. I will." Stuart got up and walked towards Neil.
"Go on then. Get packing to see your family", he said, cupping Neil's face. Neil smiled. "And make sure you don't cause chaos." Neil laughed.
"Can't promise that."
Family . It sounded so alien to him, its origins unknown. It sounded like a song, its lyrics forgotten. A drug whose effects had long worn off. A dream forgotten after you woke up.
Two days later, Neil flew all the way to Palmetto. Stuart had arranged for a car which picked him up from the airport and drove him all the way to Palmetto University. Palmetto looked even bigger and brighter and louder as Neil watched it pass by in the car before the University appeared. Neil got down, a mess of nerves and excitement. Neil pulled his zipper to his neck, pulled on his sunglasses and a cap over his head.
It hadn't changed except for its buildings which looked like they were painted recently. He traced his steps automatically without a thought or two in his head towards Wymack's office, a path traced for innumerable times when he was here. He stopped in front of the officer, its door shut but slightly ajar. Aggressive shuffling of papers meant Wymack was inside. Neil took a breath. One more for good measure before he knocked.
"Come in", came Coach's voice. He had heard it on his laptop countless times over these past years but there was something nerve wracking about hearing his voice in real life. Goosebumps rose on Neil's skin.
Neil pushed the door open. The old man was hunched on his desk, furiously writing and scribbling on a stack of papers. He was wearing his usual white wife beater and a Palmetto varsity jacket over it.
"Hey Coach", Neil mumbled, removing his hood.
Wymack stilled at Neil's voice, slowly looking up with wide eyes. Neil smiled as he removed his cap and sunglasses. Wymack blinked at him, as if he had seen a ghost.
He immediately shot up from his desk and half-ran towards Neil. A slight wave of panic did burst through Neil but it was Coach, Neil knew he had always been safe when nobody else hadn't been. He stood in front of Neil, towering as he looked down. Neil felt like his eyes were glassy.
"Josten?" He asked, voice hoarse. "Is that really you?"
"As real as I ever was", Neil replied.
Wymack's arms raised up, stopping short inches away from Neil's shoulders. Neil nodded and allowed himself to be embraced by Coach.
"Good to know that even after so long you haven't lost the fucking charm of having the capability of giving me a heart attack", he muttered, arms tight around Neil's shoulders.
"Good to know, Coach."
"Where the fuck were you, Josten? How are you? Where have you been? How is everything?" Coach asked after he pulled away. "Sit down", he ordered. Neil sat down on the chair while Coach resumed his position at his.
"Stuart took me to London after the whole ordeal with the police and my father. I didn't-" Neil took a breath. "I couldn't look back, Coach."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because of the harm I caused, the way I hurt everybody. Seth died because of me. The foxes suffered because of me. Kevin. Jean. Everybody." Neil added and whispered the name he hadn't uttered in a long, long time.
"Andrew."
Silence blanketed over Wymack's office for a good while before he spoke.
"Nobody thinks that anymore, Josten. You left and disappeared for good but do you know how much you left behind? It's not my business to tell but you left a lot behind."
"I know. Allison told me." Wymack laughed, sarcastic.
"Of course you're in contact with Reynolds."
"In my defense, I met her at a photo shoot like two years ago."
"Two years?" Wymack asked, half yelling. Neil flinched, closing his eyes. "Neil?" Neil took a breath and opened his eyes. Wymack's forehead was crowded with worried wrinkles. "Forgive this old man."
"You're good, Coach. I missed your voice but I forgot how loud you could be. You haven't changed a bit."
Wymack laughed. "Mouthy little shit. How have you been? What brings you here? Missed Exy?"
Neil rolled his eyes. "I choose to stay away from it except watching the Foxes play. I do graphic design now. Nicolas John, hear the name?"
"Jesus Christ. You're the asshole who designed the obnoxious Palmetto Fox merch?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. Neil couldn't help but laugh. "No wonder that goddamn neon orange and the fox paws seemed familiar."
"Guilty as charged", Neil said, raising his hands in surrender.
"Good to know that Neil Josten was right under my nose all this time. Any other secrets I should know about?"
"Did you find out about the Moriyama's?" Neil asked. Wymack's face scrunched, lips drawing into a thin line. He nodded.
"Few things here and there. Kevin said they stopped asking for his and Jean's earnings." Neil nodded. "Your and Hatford doings, I guess?" Neil nodded.
"It's gone. Uncle Stuart left very little of it. Ichirou controls it but it's under the Hatford business." Wymack hummed.
"And you?"
"I don't meddle. I stay away as far as possible."
"Thank god. Are you doing okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Wymack groaned in response, dragging his hand across his face. Neil laughed. "I really am." Wymack gently ruffled his hair.
"Well for the first time, you look like it."
"Is Abby on campus? I'd like to see her before I go."
"She is. Want to walk over?"
Neil nodded. Wymack locked his office and they both set off towards the Foxhole Court. Neil stood in front of it, memories flooding his mind of him and his foxes playing here. He lay a hand on the plexiglass and leaned his forehead on it and breathed. Wymack laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"It's been a long time, kiddo", Wymack said in a small voice.
Neil turned and nodded at him, words failing to form from his emotions. Wymack's hand lay snaking around his shoulder, as if Neil would disappear any minute. Flashes of his life continued to play in front of his eyes. Practices of court with Kevin and everybody, running laps and trying to score a goddamn goal against goddamn Minyard. They continued to walk towards Abby's clinic, talking as they did.
"You're flying to London again from here?" Wymack asked. Neil shook his head.
"I have client meetings tomorrow and the day after in LA. Allison's coming over to stay since she's going to be there anyway." Wymack gave him a weird look but didn't say anything.
"Good to know that my children stay in contact without me knowing at all", Wymack grumbled.
"I came back, Coach." Wymack gave him a big smile. "Finally ", he added in a whisper.
"I'm glad that you did. And I'd be more glad if you kept doing that."
"I will", Neil assured him. He knew he would. It had been too long.
Abby was positively aghast and teary eyed when she saw Neil. Neil didn't say anything except he laughed when she checked him for injuries or concussions out of sheer habit. He spent a few good hours catching up before he left with Wymack and walked towards the parking lot. They stood by the car and Neil hugged Wymack tightly. Wymack patted his back.
"Thank you, Coach. For everything", Neil whispered. "And I'm sorry for everything."
"Keep your apologies for yourself. I'm glad you could come back. I want you to keep coming back."
"Me too."
"You might not be ready for it but Kevin is going to be here from next week on break to recover from his injury for a couple of weeks. If you want-" Wymack stopped and gestured with his hands, hoping his message went through. Neil nodded. "You know what to do", he added.
"Yes Coach. And don't tell anybody yet that I was here. Please." Wymack laid a hand on his shoulder and nodded.
"Not a single soul." Neil smiled. "Take care of yourself, Josten and don't dare to disappear on me again. You understand?"
"I won't. I'll visit soon."
"And Josten?"
"Yes Coach?"
"Next time, change your destination to another place. You know damn well what I'm talking about."
"I don't know where to go", Neil said.
Liar, liar, rabbit , said somebody's voice in his head. He looked down at his shoes, where a ladybird landed on it, bright red against the denim of his Converse.
"I never knew where to go."
"Lie to me all you want, Josten. Don't lie to yourself."
"Coach-" Neil retorted but broke off.
"You knew where to go when you came here. You know where to go for him."
Neil didn't say anything except he nodded. Napa, California , his mind suggested. Fuck you, stop , Neil said to himself. Wymack nodded back with another small smile before Neil gave him another hug. God, he had missed this. He got in the car and drove towards the airport. He texted Wymack from his phone.
- Hey Coach
- This is Neil
- This is my number
- See you soon
He pocketed his phone and closed his eyes against the Palmetto breeze as the car kept driving towards the airport. Neil spent a mundane and quiet journey from Palmetto to Los Angeles barring the time Allison FaceTimed him from Chicago as she walked the streets with her friends.
Neil checked into his hotel, checked his emails for meeting times and what not before he showered and ordered food. He planned to step out for a walk in the evening for change. He walked through busy lanes and by colorful shops and kept looking for something he didn't know he was finding.