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“You know you’re an idiot right Sammy.” Dean had been scolding him for a good twenty minutes. In that time Sam hadn’t said a word. He was sitting in the passengers seat staring out the window watching the trees pass by in waves. Dean repeatedly looked at Sam over the course of their drive. He refused to say a word he was too absorbed in his thoughts. Even when Dean stopped for food Sam didn’t say a word.
“Sammy, we need to talk about this.” Dean kept probing his brother to say something, anything.
“What do you want me to say Dean?! That I messed up!?
“No, Sam. I want to help. You have to fix this, you know that don’t you?” Dean kept looking over at Sam. He was concerned but Sam just wasn’t Sam right now.
“Look Dean I don’t know what to tell you. I just lost one of the best things that ever happened to me Dean. I don’t know how to fix that. I definitely can’t fix it while this thing with Jess is going on. I mean she was… she meant everything to me Dean. I was going to propose. Then she… ya know.” Sam let out a large sigh and looked back out the window. He was emotionally exhausted.
“Imagine how Y/N feels. I mean they have to deal with you talking about Jess for,” Dean looked at the watch you and Sam gave him for his birthday, “ Seven hours. For seven hours Y/N had to listen to you talk about Jess. About how much she meant to you, how her being alive isn’t possible, how hurt you were when she died. It’s been a lot harder on them then it has been for you.”
“I know Dean.”
“Do you?” Dean questioned Sam. He felt his brother didn’t quite get it. “How would you feel if they went on for hours about their former lover. What if they went on and on about how much they were in love with them and all of that Sam?”
Dean didn’t want be harsh with his brother. He didn’t want to hurt him or anything. But Sam needed to hear it. Before he heard it from you at least. He had to get Sam thinking more about fixing things with you than focusing on the case. He needed a distraction from the case. Reflect on his behavior and all that other crap Dean usually doesn’t care about. But this is Sammy, and he all he wants is for his brother to be happy. That’s exactly what you do for him, he’s never seen Sam happier.
Dare he even think it, you make Sam happier than Jess probably ever did. But he wouldn’t know. He only had Sam’s reactions to losing you to compare to it. The one time Sam thought you were dead he wouldn’t come out of his room for weeks. Dean couldn’t get him to eat. Sam thought about revenge, but he decided against it. You wouldn’t want him to get revenge if it ended up consuming him like before.
“Thanks Dean.” Sam spoke hours after Dean’s little speech.
“No problem Sammy. You know I’m always here.”
The rest of the ride went on in silence. They arrived in Stanford a few hours later. Pulling up to the motel Dean called you up to get the key to his room. He usually shares a room with Cas, and you and Sam would normally shack up a couple rooms away.
“Hey!”
“Hi Dean.” You said solemnly. You couldn’t bring yourself to hide your sadness.
“You guys find anything out since you been here?” Dean didn’t want to talk about Sam with you. Not with him right next to you. He supposed talking about the case was any better.
“Yeah. We did a few stakeouts. So far everything’s fine. She went grocery shopping, movies, work, she’s been acting completely normal. Nothing… out of the ordinary. We did find out that the police opened an investigation for her reappearance. Just to help figure things out. There were some inconsistencies in her statement when she got back. So you guys should go interview people at the station and stuff.” You gave Dean what you and Cas had discovered. It wasn’t much but it was enough to get Sam and Dean started on the actual work.
“Wait, Didn’t you and Cas already go down to the police station?” Dean tried to stay quiet, then again there was no point because he and Sam were gonna have to head down there anyway.
“No, uhh…” You started picking at the small fuzzies on the bedspread you were sitting on. Anything to distract you from your current situation. You hadn’t recovered from your outburst just yet. “I decided against that. Cas doesn’t make a great agent, and I can’t… I’m not… capable of it right now. You know.” You mumbled into the phone.
“Okay. I’ll come up and get the keys okay?” Dean spoke to you softly. He didn’t want to scare you or upset you anymore than you already were. He hung up and started up to your room which you would soon be sharing with Castiel.
“I’ll come with you.” Sam said following behind Dean.
“No uhh… stay here get our stuff okay Sammy. I don't think she wants to see you right now. Our room is 104 wait there or something okay?” Dean was getting tired of tiptoeing around both you and Sam but it had to be done. At least with Sam he could be more blunt.
“Yeah, okay Dean.” Sam responded. He turned around and started unloading all of your things.