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“Have you heard about the new psych patient?” Wilson asked House as they were in the queue for their lunch, “the guy thinks he’s a werewolf, kept the whole ward up with his howling last night,” House turned to face his friend.
”He thinks he’s a werewolf?” House repeated.
”Yes, he came into the ER because he fell of his roof, luckily it was only a bungalow so he didn’t have too far to fall,” Wilson told him, “didn’t even break a bone.”
“How do you know all this?” House questioned.
”I was talking to the new psych resident earlier,” the oncologist replied.
”Is this new resident aware that you are married?”
”I make sure I start all my conversations with new people with that fact about me,” Wilson joked.
”Good but are they aware you’re married to me?” House replied.
”Everyone in this hospital how’s that,” Wilson told him, “they also know that you’re incredibly jealous,” he teased.
”I have good reason,” House said, looking him up and down, “you’re a fucking catch,” Wilson chuckled at this.
”C’mon let’s go find a table.”
————
House couldn’t help but try to find out more about this new patient and before long he found himself on the psych floor.
”Can I help you House?” One of the doctors asked, knowing his presence was never a good thing, “come to check yourself in? We’ve had a room prepared since you started,” House started to laugh in a very loud, very fake, way and the doctor just stared at him.
”That’s funny, you’re really funny,” House told him, “but you know why I’m here.”
”No,” the doctor said immediately, “you’re not going near him.”
”But it’s interesting,” House replied, “who knows, there could be an underlying condition.”
”Yeah, he has clinical lycanthropy, it’s a psychological condition, so go back to your office,” House went to say something when they heard howling and a loud crash, “not again,” the doctor muttered, heading over to the source of the noise, House following behind.
When they stepped in the room House’s nostrils were immediately hit with the stench of piss.
”Jesus, do you guys never clean in here?” He asked.
”The guys not too fond of toilets,” the doctor answered him. He looked over to the man who was currently knocking over medical equipment as a nurse desperately tried to calm him down.
”You cannot cage me! I have the right to run free!” The man shouted.
”He is nuts,” House commented to the doctor who just ignored him and pulled a sedative from his pocket. It took four people to get the man sedated and back into bed and the doctor walked back over to House.
”You could’ve helped us out there,” he said, clearly out of breath.
”Sorry got a bummed leg,” House replied holding up his cane. The doctor rolled his eyes and walked away, House continued to watch the patient.
————
“You paged?” Wilson questioned as he walked into House’s office later that day.
”Look at this,” House said, showing him a brain scan.
”Wow that’s a big tumour,” Wilson replied, “Jacob Langley,” he read on the scan “this your patient?”
”Not technically,” House told him.
”what do you-“ Wilson began, disrupted by howling coming from the balcony, “please tell me you didn’t kidnap a psych patient.”
”I would tell you that but apparently you don’t like it when I lie to you.”
”Why is he on the balcony?” Wilson asked.
”He’s not big on toilets and I prefer my office to not be piss scented,” House explained. Wilson rolled his eyes before looking out of the window in shock.
”House he’s on the wall!” He exclaimed, rushing over to the door.
“Crap,” House said, limping out onto the balcony.
“Get down from there!” Wilson called out to Jacob.
”No! I was born to be free!” He replied.
”You’re not going to be free, you’re going to be dead!” Wilson told him. The man just growled at him before howling at the birds that were flying above. Wilson jumped when House started Howling too, “What are you doing?” He asked but House just continued. Jacob had stopped howling when he heard House and instead looked at him. He crouched down onto his hands and feet and jumped off the wall in a dog-like manner, coming over to sniff at House’s feet. The diagnostician took this chance to pull a syringe out of his pocket and stick it into the young man’s neck.
”How did you know that would work?” Wilson asked.
”I didn’t,” House replied.
”So he could’ve jumped off of there and died?”
”Yep,” House replied, “so now let’s save his life.”
————
House and Wilson stood in the OR gallery and watched as the surgeon dissected the tumour.
”House!” They heard the psych doctor shout from the door, “where the hell is my patient?”
“Down there,” House replied, pointing to the room below.
”Why is he in surgery?” House didn’t reply to this, only held out the scan he’d done earlier, “shit,” the doctor muttered.
”Your psych patient didn’t have anything wrong with him psychologically, he just had a brain tumour,” House said. The doctor didn’t say anything, just handed the scan back to him and walked out, “so you going to tell your resident friend about the patient they were boasting about?” House asked Wilson.
”Would it make you jealous if I did?” He teased, before looking down at the patient on the table, “nah, I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, right now I just want to go home and have dinner with my husband,” House smiled at him.
”Want me to cook that pasta dish you like?” He asked and Wilson grinned.
”You sure know the way to a man’s heart,” the two men chuckled before taking each other’s hands.
”Let’s go home,” House said, leading him out the door.