Chapter Text
The air in the mountains was often the sweetest. As winter approached and the winds sharpened their teeth into razors, slicing through even the thickest of garments, Rin breathed in the coolness like she was savoring her favorite tea. She loved winter as much as she loved the other seasons. A hushed calm blanketed the world. Animals slept in their dwellings, humans huddled around fires in search of warmth, and for a moment she could find rest. Winter brought a stillness she once found terrifying when death loomed ominously in the back of her mind, always following at her heels, taking everything she loved into its stagnant embrace. Now, she looked forward to it.
The stillness, the calm, the quiet. She feared none of it anymore. For all the happier implications of winter filled her mind. How her favorite people would stay indoors, safe and sound, with their needs met by careful preparation during the warmer parts of the year. How the budding flowers she hated to see wilting toward the ground in the fall planted new seeds, dwelling beneath the frozen earth until spring’s return. And how she lived another year in this beautiful, cruel world. Lived vivaciously, earnestly, without restraint or pause, and now she could rest within the glow of all her achievements and the arms of her husband.
Tucked away in their little hiding place in the mountain, Rin breathed in the air. The watery freshness of snow mingled with the pine tree’s mustiness reminded her of spring’s coming. However, the dead of winter was upon them and she knew there was no hope of watching the snow melt in the next few days. She shifted slightly in her lounging, inadvertently rubbing her cheek against the yōkai resting beneath her. His yōki wrapped around her like a transparent blanket, weighing nothing, but shielding her from the wind’s bite. It would hardly be characteristic of him if he allowed anything else to sink its teeth into her in his presence.
Amused at the thought, Rin giggled against his shoulder, thankful for the lack of his armor so that she could hide her face when he undoubtedly started to question her. His arm lifted from its place at her back, claws skimming the thin layer of her outer robe where it spanned across her back. She felt his fingers in his hair. Never tangling like hers did when she wished to pull him closer, but twisting idly in circles and spirals as if he were playing with it. He could be unexpectedly playful when the mood crossed him, and she realized now was one of those times.
Their stalemate continued for a few seconds longer before she lifted her head, peeking up at him from beneath her bangs. His golden eyes were as striking in the wintry sunlight as they were on the brightest of days, and as always, he was looking at her. Her ears burned while she watched him twist her hair around his forefinger, bringing it to his mouth while never averting his gaze. It pleased him to have her attention. Even in moments such as this when he was set upon flustering her. If she wanted, she could pull away from him, and he would release her without question.
How generous a husband was he for allowing her to retain the boundaries of her body when some women were not granted as much? If she voiced such things to him, he would give her a piercing look and tell her that he allowed her nothing. Everything that was hers would always remain hers, which included him as well.
Transfixed, Rin watched as his lips - pale as the falling snow, and twice as soft - touched her hair. Her breath hitched when in the quiet of their temporary abode she heard him kiss the strands. One after another fell from his fingers once he set his lips to the next, never bothering to check if another strand was left unkissed. His attention to detail was seemingly ingrained into the very marrow of his bones, and she knew firsthand how systematically he liked to take things apart. Herself, included. Her cheeks burned at the delight in his eyes at her rapture, shining gold impossible to look away from.
He wasn’t one for saccharine words, but his eyes reminded her of honey, captivating and sweet. A taste of spring lost within snow-white hair, fierce red markings like the red of fallen leaves, and a summer afternoon’s sky tinged violet by the sickle moon hanging over his brows. Her eyes trail down to his mouth. Giddy terror beats through her heart when his lips curl at the corners, purposefully slow. He can hear her heart, she knows, and cursed him inwardly for teasing her like this.
The cave they sought refuge in wasn’t very large, and with his fur shielding them from the cold ground, she had no other choice but to either lay atop him or beside him. Her lord might have been intent on driving her insane but he was never cruel. With how the winds ravaged the cave’s entrance, he would set her within the cave’s innermost embrace, should she wish to lie on her own, and shield her with his body blocking the entrance. The choice to lay on him was out of a selfish desire to hear his heart beating. Winter’s quiet, while appreciated, held ghosts of the past. Ghosts, her lord kept at bay by reminding her of his continued existence.
Rin hadn’t felt the need to move when she awakened, happy to cuddle close to him with no one to pull either of them apart. A foolish mistake on her part. He always makes a fool out of me like this, she thought as the last strand slipped from his claws. His hooded gaze and the way he reclined with his head resting on his hand were too smug, too knowing, for her liking. Yet, she loved it.
And he knew it.
“You aren’t very fair to me, milord.”
He tapped a finger at his temple. His now empty hand reached for her, slipping past her periphery despite her best attempts to keep it within her line of sight. Warmth spread along the back of her neck once long, slender fingers caressed her nape. Rin flushed deeply. Her hands twisted in his collar when his claws touched her skin. In one swift movement, he could have killed her. Ripped her head from her shoulders and cast her aside into the falling snow. She knew it, and so did he. Fairness did not exist in the world they were born into, but between them, there were no injustices or imbalances.
His priorities were painfully clear. To him, nothing came before her. To him, her interests were worthy of his notice. To him, she was the beginning and the ending. To him, she was everything. It was overwhelming - to be loved so wholly - but he was, in that way too, willing to help her adjust to the idea. His method was to spoil her as much as she could handle, tearing down her walls until her heart was laid bare, then treating it with the gentlest of touches as though he’d been given the greatest treasure imaginable. At one time, she considered whether he was trying to understand what love is. If she had become the center of his world from a lack of understanding, an experiment, or so Kagome called it when she asked her about the name of her feelings.
Her now sister-in-law tried to convince her otherwise. Misgivings about Sesshо̄maru’s character aside, he had always been true to Rin. Why doubt him now that they were on unfamiliar ground? As long as they were together, they could weather any storm. Kagome believed in it so wholeheartedly Rin felt guilty for her thoughts, but the miko waved them off as well. After all, overcoming doubt was the way to reinforce trust.
Winds howled outside of their hiding place from the world, and Rin gazed into Sesshо̄maru’s eyes as if she could find every secret hidden in them. Her hands braced against his chest, hold tightening as she pulled herself up and leaned close to his face. He did nothing to stop her, his caress at her nape, not a deterrent or encouragement, but a reminder. This person cherished her, and she chose to marry him. To come away with him into a starker, deadlier world where nothing was certain except for one thing —
His breath ghosted against her parted lips, slipping over her cheeks and her flushed ears. Heat building between them enclosed in his yōki’s barrier making it harder for her to keep her eyes open as the distance between them closed. The last thing she remembered seeing was gold, bright as sunflower petals turned toward the sun. In all her memories of those fields, picking juicy melons intertwined between tall stalks with Jaken, was Sesshо̄maru’s eyes.
Whereas all the sunflowers turned toward the sun, he turned to her.