Adult Content Warning
This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.
-
Hermione Granger's Guide to Ditching Your Wizard by accioblondie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Oct 2025
Tags
Summary
“Divorce technically isn’t our only option,” Hermione said absentmindedly. “Malfoy could die within the next two years, for example.”
Malfoy turned to her, eyes blazing. “Either of us could die, Granger. I don’t appreciate the insinuation of it being me.”
“I didn’t say it for you to appreciate it. It’s merely a fact.”
Malfoy turned to Kinglsey. “If nothing else can nullify our impending nuptials, surely Granger exhibiting the markers for premeditated murder should?”
Granger rolled her eyes. “If I were going to murder you, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to plan it with the Minister For Magic.”
Malfoy mockingly put his hand against his heart. “Oh, that’s such a relief. I much prefer the idea of being murdered in the spur of the moment. Premeditation is very played out.”
“Quite literally,” Hermione said.
Clearing his throat, Kingsley said, “I appreciate that you both have history. Even so, the Wizenmagot has chosen the two of you to marry.”
“Granger’s intent on putting the ‘death’ in ‘til death do us part, and you want to categorise our dynamic as having ‘history,’” Malfoy scoffed, leaning his head back. “We’re fucked.”