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“Grace, tell us the story of how you and Yneari met, please?” begged Mathienne one evening after dinner.
“I am certain Yneari has already told you.”
Tarion flopped at her feet. “Yneari’s stories are boring. You tell great stories.”
“I will be happy to tell my version of events.”
Jhearithe grinned and seated herself in a chair across from Grace. “The kitchen can wait. This I have got to hear.”
“You could still hear from the kitchen,” Yneari said.
“But I would miss so much of the outrage that is sure to play across your face.”
“I’m leaving.” Yneari said, standing. “I do not have to stay to be maligned.”
“Oh yes you do.” Jhearithe grabbed him and the children assisted her in pulling him back toward the chair. Grace could tell that he was not truly trying to fight them off. “Sit on him, Grace. Then he can’t leave.”
Grace laughed and plopped onto his lap,
“Hmmm. Now I don’t think I want to go anywhere,” he said, running his hand down her leg.
Grace yelped. “Yneari Malfin, there are children in the room!”
He put on his best innocent look. “I thought there was a fly on your leg.”
Mathienne bounced to the floor by Yneari’s feet and was soon joined by Lijahar. The girl begged, “C’mon, Grace! Tell the story!”
“Once upon a time, there was an elf with a terrible problem,” Grace began.
“The curse,” Mathienne said, nodding.
“No. Worse than that,” Grace said, bringing the attention of every eye in the room. At this point, even Tanearan was listening.
“He was bored.”
Mathienne giggled.
“He had another problem, too.
“What?” Mathienne asked.
“He couldn’t mind his own business.”
“Why you!” Yneari goosed Grace’s side, causing her to curl up and cackle.
Mathienne hit his leg. “Stop! We want to hear the story.”
“I think I chose a dangerous seat,” Grace told the children.
“You’re stuck now,” Yneari said, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly enough to restrain her but not tightly enough to hurt.
“So, one day, the nosy elf–”
“Excuse me!” Yneari said, “I prefer the term ‘curious.’”
“Nobody asked you what you preferred, Toreg (brother). Now hush,” Jhearithe said.
“One day, the nosy elf saw a soldier bullying a beautiful girl.”
“That part, I’ll agree with.”
Tanearan threw a pillow at the pair, missing Grace and hitting Yneari in the side of the face. “Be quiet, Man. That’s an order.”
Yneari shrugged. “You no longer outrank me.”
“Want me to gag him for you, Grace?” Tanearan asked.
The pillow went flying back across the room, but Tanearan caught it, laughing.
Grace continued, “The nosy elf had one redeeming quality.”
“I can’t win,” Yneari groaned.
Grace pretended not to have heard him. “He hated seeing anyone being bullied. So, he decided to help. The nosy elf had another very bad habit. He was a burglar.”
Mathienne gasped.
“I was not!” Yneari cried.
“He would sneak into other people’s homes at night without their permission. But he was a strange burglar indeed–”
“Strange is the right word,” Tanearan intoned.
“Instead of taking things from the houses he entered, he left things. Usually it was his shoes.”
Mathienne giggled. “Maybe he liked to walk around barefoot.”
“When she saw him one night burglarizing her home, the brave apprentice confronted the nosy burglar-elf.”
Yneari broke in. “Under interrogation, the brave elf gave the apprentice no information, confining his answers to four words.”
Grace elbowed him. “This is my story. I get to be the brave one. You have to be the nosy burglar. The nosy elf had another problem. He was thoroughly insufferable!”
Jhearithe clapped. “Yes! Finally someone else gets it!”
“Lijahar,” Yneari said in a stage-whisper, “go tickle our sister.”
“No way, Toreg. I’m not getting in the middle of that hornet’s nest.”
“You’d really abandon me in my time of distress, Toreg?” Yneari asked, affecting a hurt tone.
Lijahar grinned. “Yup. She feeds me.”
Jhearithe stuck out her tongue. “See I know which of my brothers really loves me.”
Raising her eyebrow meaningfully, Grace continued, “When the apprentice very politely asked the burglar-elf several questions,”–Yneari harrumphed, but Grace continued–“all he would say was ‘it would appear so’ over and over again.”
Jhearithe asked incredulously, “Did he seriously refuse to say anything besides ‘it would appear so’?”
Grace giggled. “Yes, on that first meeting.”
“As I recall, I did add a few more words toward the end.”
“And as I recall, Toreg, I told you to hush,” Jhearithe said.
“Apparently there are parts of this story that I had not heard, Yneari,” Tanearan said. “Tell us more, Grace.”
“The brave apprentice recognized that these words were burglar code for mischief and–”
“Lost her temper,” Yneari supplied.
She gave him a sidelong look and said, “She wisely threw a boot at the burglar.”
“Ha!” Jhearithe crowed.
“It’s a good thing she was a bad aim,” Yneari said conspiratorially to the children.
“Did you hit him?” Lijahar asked excitedly.
“Sadly, no. The burglar elf cleverly deflected the apprentice’s attack and got away. But they were destined to meet again.”
“You know, this is not at all how I remember it. You’re bad at this.”
“What are you talking about? These details are quite accurate,” Grace said, looking offended. “Don’t listen to him, children. Where was I? Oh, yes. It seemed as though the brave apprentice had frightened the burglar-elf off. He did not return for several days. But alas, her victory was incomplete. She had to think of something else.
“Then she had it. The burglar had been wearing no clothes.”
“What???” Yneari screeched.
Grace clapped her hand over her mouth and turned several shades of red. “Cloak! I meant cloak! I’m so sorry. I really, really didn’t mean that, children. Oh for heaven’s sake. I am bad at this.”
“Personally, I think the story is funnier with no clothes,” Tanearan said wickedly.
Grace put both hands on her head, hiding her face behind her forearms, and groaned. “No, no, no. I’m soooo sorry.”
“Wait until Emerys hears about this,” Tanearan said.
Now it was Yneari’s turn to change colors. “I swear Tanearan if you tell him–or anyone–you won’t live to see the next sunrise. To be clear, ‘lings, I NEVER went anywhere naked.”
Mathienne was giggling wildly and the boys were guffawing at Yneari’s obvious discomfort.
Jhearithe cleared her throat and said primly, “So, Grace, as you were saying, Yneari was naked . . .”
Yneari popped up, bumping Grace off his lap, and grabbed his sister.
Grace cried, “No! Jhearithe, please! Oh, I am so sorry, Yneari. Really. I did not mean to say anything so crass.” Grace's voice cracked and tears began.
At the sound of Grace’s very real distress, Yneari let go of his sister and turned, but Jhearithe was the first to speak. “Oh, Grace, no, we know it was a mistake. We were not making fun of you. We were just teasing Yneari.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wishing there was a deep, dark hole into which she could crawl at that moment.
Yneari put his arms around her. “It’s all right, Grace. I’m not angry. And look at the bright side–you’ve now been elevated to the ‘ling’s favorite person in all of the Forest.”
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Yneari.”
“It was just an accident. And it was pretty funny.” He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her cheek. He tugged her back toward the chair and seated her in his lap. “Are you going to finish the story? I want to know what happened to the naked burglar elf.”
She turned red all over again and buried her head on his shoulder. “Oh, no! I can’t.”
“Please, Grace?” Mathienne asked.
“She gave him a cloak. It broke the curse. Happily ever after. The end.”
“Oh, Elloth,” Yneari nuzzled her hair. “Don’t be upset. You’ve managed something I didn’t think would ever happen. Instead of the wanderer’s story bringing everyone to tears of sorrow, it got them to laugh so hard they’re crying.”
“At your expense.”
“I know all of them love me. There’s no malice–and let’s be honest, if the story had been about Tanearan, I would have been the first one to bellow with laughter.”
"You think it will be fine? Your family won't disown me?"
"Far from it. Our family will parade out the story of the naked burglar elf at every family gathering for decades to come--long after we're no longer around to tell it.”
"It can't be stopped now, can it?"
He laughed. "Nope. At this point, we are officially infamous."