Chapter Text
The forests ground feels soft under his paws as he silently follows the narrow path through it. He knows the way by heart, so he allows himself to close his eyes for a little bit. This particular path always brings back memories he clings so desperately to. He has them all written down in a little book, because he is afraid that one day he might forget. Forget the smell of roses, fresh and vibrant when they would play in the meadow, warm and heavy when they were cuddled up together in the nest. Forget the light brown fur that sometimes shone like the caramel candy he got for his fourth birthday, or the dark brown eyes always twinkling with love and a bit mischief.
He stops in his tracks and lets out a heavy sigh. Some days he was fine but on days like today he misses her so so much. His heart hurts a bit, and he knows that he must smell like wilted jasmine. As much as he loves remembering his mother, he needs to catch something today. His food supply has been low for a couple days now and today he finally has some free time to go hunting. He speeds up a bit until he finally reaches an especially green and flourishing part of the woods, where he knows lots of prey roam around.
Luckily after only a few minutes of waiting the wolf spots a rabbit. He concentrates and focuses on his prey when he jumps out of his hiding spot. The rabbit tries to run but Yoongi is faster and quickly bites through its neck. His tail starts wagging slightly at the thought of a filling dinner and his stomach grumbles in agreement. He starts making his way back to the little pack village while thinking of all the good food he can make the coming days.
The familiar smells of his pack grow stronger as the first buildings can be spotted right outside the forest. The young wolf places his prey next to a tree trunk which holds his human clothes. He quickly turns, gets dressed in his plane cotton shirt and pants and ties his long blond hair into a simple braid. He makes his way out of the forest to his little house.
The house is really more of a hut, it used to be a storage room that was barely used hence it was given to Yoongi. When his mother was still alive, they lived in a lovely house on the other side of the village, right next to a stream and his best friends’ house. After she had passed the pack alpha had decided that such a nice house and good land would be wasted on an orphaned pup so he was moved to the hut. It took some time getting used to his new home and living alone at the young age of twelve, but the pack alpha was so kind to bring him food now and then and let him have the clothes other families had given away. So it was all good!
“Hey Yoongi!” Wheein one of his best friends calls from his hut where she is already waiting for him. His other best friend is Wheein’s twin sister Hyejin normally they did everything together and were barely spotted alone, today however it was only Wheein sitting with her back leaned against his house.
“I’m sorry have you been waiting long?” he greets his friend. “Ah nonsense, Yoonie! Why are you apologizing when you couldn’t possibly know that I would be here.” She laughs in disbelief. “Sorry” he mutters his cheeks heating up.
“One day we will teach you how to not say sorry every second, but today is not that day,” Wheein dramatically declares. “I’m just here to pass on the dinner invitation from my mothers.” She hurriedly ads when she sees the lingering uncertainty in Yoongi’s eyes.
“Oh,” a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, “that’s nice. I would love to visit” he says, then he remembers the rabbit in his hand and excitedly adds “I can even bring some rabbit meat!” The broad smile on Yoongi’s face and the slightly sweeter smell of jasmine draw Wheein’s own blueberry smell out. “You don’t have to bring anything but yourself. We just all miss you and my moms simply have too many vegetables but don’t tell them that I said that! They were so sure that this year they planted just the perfect amount.” Wheein laughs lightly and rolls her eyes as she talks about her mothers. They were two lovely women who always had an open ear and house for Yoongi. Her alpha mother Kim Byuli was always joking around, encouraging her children, and helping them with any mischievous plan they might have, driving Wheein and Hyejin’s Beta mother Kim Yongsun insane. As much as they always seemed to be fighting, they loved each other and their children dearly and they were extremely protective of their little family. Sometimes Yoongi felt a bit jealous of them and their bond, he wished that he could have a place where he so clearly belonged like they did.
Wheein notices the change in his scent at the same time he does so before she can ask he says: “No, no I should bring something. I can’t just eat your food and give you nothing in return”, “Actually you can because we just invite-“ Wheein tries to interrupt him, but the other wolf just waves her off and continues. “I am already enough of a burden on the entire pack I’m not gonna do that to you too.” Yoongi awkwardly chuckles, while the young omega tries to digest what her friend just said to her.
“Yoongi you are not a burden to the pack. Who told you tha-,” Wheein tries to ask but is interrupted by loud, happy screech coming from behind them.
“Yoonie you’re back!” Yoongi barely has time to react before a little boy jumps into his arms and immediately presses his face into his scent gland.
“Oh Hoshi, you startled me” Yoongi gently scolds and places his arms around the young pup to make sure he doesn't slip down. “Sorry Yoonie but I really missed you this time! I swear!” Hoshi earnestly declares, his wide eyes pleading the adults to understand. Wheein chuckles lightly and Yoongi strokes the pups back in a comforting manner. “It’s okay little bean, I wasn’t that shocked, but a little warning would be nice next time. I was just worried that I would drop you and you would get hurt, okay?”
“Okay! I can do warnings” Hoshi declares smiling brightly. He still has his arms around Yoongi and holds on tightly not showing any intentions in letting go soon. Wheein smiles at the scene, picks up the rabbit that the other omega had dropped in haste and places it on a small makeshift table in front of the hut.
“As heart warming as watching you two is, I have to go and help my moms and my sister or they will have my head along with dinner tonight” she says. “Yeah sure! Thank them from me for the invitation.” Yoongi hurriedly says as Wheein turns to leave.
“No need for that Yoongi really. Oh, and Hoshi you’re obviously invited as well” she calls as she walks further away into the village.
Hoshi barely registers that he was addressed already half asleep on the omegas shoulder. He just nods his head lightly and mumbles something along the lines of a thank you. Yoongi carefully opens the door to the hut, trying not to disturb the sleepy pup in his arms. Once inside he places Hoshi on the small bed in the corner, tucks him in and gives him a little kiss on the head. After taking care of the small beta child, he gets the rabbit and starts skinning it so that he can cook them a delicious late lunch.
About an hour later Yoongi sits close to the fire and stirs the rabbit stew he made, when Hoshi wakes up with a loud yawn. He immediately begins sniffing the air until he spots the pot over the fire. “It smells soooo good! Is there actual meat in it?” the pup asks hopeful.
“Yes, I caught a rabbit this morning. So we are having a feast” Yoongi smiles. “Is that why you were gone this morning?” Hoshi asks with a pout. “Yeah, but I told you yesterday evening that I would be gone”
“But I forgot and the I was lonely and bored all morning long” he whines, looking accusingly at Yoongi. The omega laughs, walks over to the bed and scoops the pup up into his arms.
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry little bean next time I’ll wake you up in the morning and tell you again before I leave. Ok?” he presses a soft kiss to Hoshis forehead as an apology.
“Okay! Can we eat now?”
They put two bowls on the small wooden table and begin eating the hot stew as soon as they are seated. Yoongi watches the young boy fondly and feels his chest flood with a warm feeling.
Hoshi has been with Yoongi for nearly five years now. He was brought to him by the pack alpha after his parents both died from the same disease. The pack alpha had said that it was fitting to put the two orphans together so that they would be less lonely. Yoongi was barely 21 years old at that time and had never taken care of a child before, but that didn’t seem to matter so he was handed the crying one year old and left alone with it. The first couple weeks were stressful and chaotic but at some point he got the hang of it and learned what mashed vegetables Hoshi liked the best and what lullabies would make him fall asleep the fastest. It helped how in love he was with the little pup and his sweet honey scent that still carried the milky undertones of babies. Ever since then he has been taking care of him and raising him as if he were his own child. Hoshi was almost six now and Yoongi was very proud of his little bean, as he liked to call him. Moon he loves that pup so much, Sometimes it scares him a bit, because he loved his mother in the same unconditional way and it hurt so much when he lost her, but he tries to push those thoughts away since Hoshi doesn’t like when his scent gets sour.
After lunch they decide to go outside and play in the meadow in front of the hut for a little while until they will have to get ready for dinner at the Kims house. Yoongi determines that they should plan a bit more time for bath time since Hoshi will be running around like crazy and he will also try and refuse a bath because he hates those.
The omega is immensely glad that the pup is still too young to turn into his wolf form otherwise he would be causing trouble all day long. He still has about three to four years to go until he will turn for the first time, the normal age for a first turn is around nine or ten. Only in rare cases that are caused by immediate danger or extremely high stress, will a pup turn into a wolf before their ninth year. So he still has some time to go until the real stress will begin.
When the sun starts creeping lower in the sky, Yoongi begins to prepare for a bath for the both of them. He gets the big wooden tub from behind the shed and places it in a sunny spot so that the cold water won’t feel as bad. Then he starts walking to the little river that is close by and fills two buckets which he carries back and forth several times until the tub is full enough. As predicted, Hoshi refuses the bath and tries to run away. Yoongi chases the giggling beta for a couple of minutes to entertain him and keep his mood up. Once be catches the pup he gently explains why a bath is necessary.
“We are invited to dinner at the Kims tonight and they’re gonna have lots of yummy food”, he says and at the mention of food Hoshis face lights up. “but the condition is that we look and smell our best tonight. And what do we need to do to look and smell our best?” the Omega asks. The pup’s eyes flit over to the tub, and he huffs “We need to take a bath?”
“Yes exactly!” Yoongi cheers and leads the somewhat willing child over to the bath. Once he undressed and placed both of them inside the cold water, not without multiple complains from Hoshi, he begins to wash their hair and body with soap. The fancy soap that smells like flowers or sweet treats is reserved for the proper pack members and well the orphans get the unwanted scrabs of the soap that have not been refined. Yoongi is not complaining though, the soap gets the job done and he is grateful that the pack is taking care of them despite their status.
After getting nice and clean and maybe a bit wrinkly, they get out and put on the fresh set of clothing the omega had prepared for them. They weren’t pretty clothes, just like the soap they simply got the leftovers and worn out clothes that nobody else wanted, but they were fine and still functioning as they had no holes or rips anywhere.
As the dinner grows closer Yoongi starts fussing a bit and keeps trying to tame Hoshis mop of blonde hair but the pup is also very excited and runs around the hut so that his hair sticks out to all sides. The omega gives up and focuses on his own head. His hair is blonde as well but very long. He probably would have cut it a long time ago since it is very inconvenient and takes up a lot of time to care for it, but it reminds him of his mother’s hair. Every time he takes a pair of scissors and holds it to his hair he remembers his mother and how the long blonde strands would always fly around her face, and how she would laugh when it accidentally got into her mouth. He just can’t cut it, it feels too much like a part of her, one of the few things he has left of her. So he brushes it quickly, braids it into one long braid that nearly reaches his butt and adds a small flower Hoshi brings him from the meadow.
When the sun is about to set the omega and the young beta head out through the village to meet the Kims at their place.
A bit further ahead the pack alpha stands on the side of the road and watches the approaching pair with badly hidden distain. The closer the omega and the beta get the more convincing the alphas fake smile becomes. Once they are in front of him and politely greet him Chulmoo looks at Yoongi and says: “Yoongi, son, do you have a quick moment? I need to discuss something important with you.”
“Yes of course pack alpha!”, Yoongi immediately agrees, eager to please. Hoshi however grumbles where he stands and starts pulling on the omegas hand. “I’m hungry! Can’t this wait?” the pup whines. “Hoshi don’t be rude to the pack alpha.” Yoongi chides the young beta, a bit of nervousness bleeding into his voice and scent.
“Ah why don’t you go ahead young pup? This doesn’t concern you, so you are excused.”, Chulmoo declares. Hoshi looks up at Yoongi a bit unsure if he should really go, but the omega smiles reassuringly “Go ahead! I’m sure Solar and Moonbyul have something to snack on until I’m there.” He gently squeezes the pup’s hand and then lets go.
“Okay! But if you don’t hurry, I’m gonna eat all the good stuff alone!” Hoshi calls as he takes off towards the Kims house. Yoongi looks fondly at the little pup running down the street so full of energy. Chulmoo noisily clears his throat and turns to completely face Yoongi.
“This isn’t easy, trust me, but it needs to be said anyways and I don’t want to unnecessarily drag it out”, the pack alpha starts and the omega gets a really bad feeling. He takes in the stiff posture of the alpha and it reminds him of the day he was told by the same man, that his mother had passed away. Yoongi takes a deep breath trying to calm himself he surely is overthinking; it can’t be anything too bad. Hoshi was with him just seconds ago, he was fine.
Chulmoo continues: “The times are hard at the moment, the whole pack has to cut down and save more,” That was news to Yoongi he was a bit shocked that he missed such an important fact about his pack. He immediately felt bad and started to think of ways to help out and of ways he and Hoshi could cut back. That would be a challenge, they already lived a very modest life. “We have taken care of you for quite a while now and since Hoshi was added into the whole equation the pack has been taking care of two orphans. That’s a lot.” The alpha pointedly looked at the omega. Yoongi immediately lowered his head a bit and said: “Yes, and we are very grateful for your care, pack alpha.” Chulmoo sighs loudly “Well gratefulness isn’t enough anymore, Yoongi. We can’t afford to take care of you. It’s draining everyone and as pack alpha it is my job to make sure the pack is fine and not just two people.”
The omegas face heats up, for some reason he feels terribly embarrassed. It reminds him of all the time he was scolded by the alpha when he was younger. How everyone from the pack had stared and how they whispered among themselves, probably talking about how ungrateful he was and how he didn’t deserve all the time the pack alpha wasted on him. He tried so hard to get it right. To be helpful, to please the pack and most importantly Chulmoo. It wasn’t a given that he let an orphan stay, he could have thrown him out and Yoongi was so glad that he was generous enough to let him stay even when he made mistakes. Still these situations just made his tummy turn in a very uncomfortable way. It made his skin itch and his blood feels more like electricity running through him. He notices how his hands started to shake and he hopes that the alpha doesn’t notice, because he doesn’t like that behavior from the omega.
“I’m terribly sorry Chulmoo. We will not use any of the pack resources from now on. I can provide for us, so the pack won’t have to worry!”, Yoongi rushes out. He feels somewhat out of breath and his mouth has gone dry.
“I’m afraid that won’t be enough.”, the omega looks up at the pack alpha with fear in his eyes. “It’s just in our nature to take care of our pack so as long as you are here people will care.” Yoongis eyes widen and the panic is as clear as day in them. “Now, now boy no need to be so worried,” Chulmoo places a hand on Yoongis shoulder, “I am no monster. I will not send both of you away. We will manage to provide for one of you, just not both.” Tears gather in the young mans eyes as he is hit with the hard reality the alpha lays out for him.
“I thought I should let you choose since you have been with us longer than Soonyoung. It is up to you Yoongi. Either you leave or the pup, it’s in your hands.” Chulmoo looks at the omega expectantly, waiting for an answer.
Yoongis mind runs wild. Thinking about having to leave the pack, his friends, and worst of all his little bean. His heart breaks at the thought of having to say goodbye. His heart hurts even more though with the thought of the pup having to leave the safety of the pack. That is not an option. For a short moment he questions if it is really necessary for one of them to leave but the pack alpha wouldn’t lie to him.
“I will leave” he says, barely a whisper, “I will pack my things later tonight and then I will be gone tomorrow. Who will take care of Hoshi? He is still too young to do it all by himself.”
“I have someone to take care of him. Tomorrow is too late.” The alpha coldly replies. “OK. I – I can leave tonight, I just have to go get Hoshi and then pack and then I’m go-“, “No, Yoongi you need to leave right now.” The omega gasps and tries his hardest to hold back tears. He wants to protest but before he can say anything the pack alpha cuts him off: “Goodbyes make everything unnecessarily hard. We don’t want that. Just go get some things now and leave. I will explain everything to the others.” Yoongi can no longer hold the tears back as he starts to beg Chulmoo. “Please, please I need to say goodbye to Hoshi. I have to say goodbye I can’t just leave”. The alpha shakes his head. “No that will only make it worse. It is the best for all to just leave. Don’t make a scene. I know what is the best for my pack, or are you doubting that Yoongi? Do you think you know better than me?” The alpha steps closer to the omega, his scent getting stronger and Yoongi has immediately cowers and quickly shakes his head. “Of course not pack alpha.” Chulmoo smiles self satisfied gets even closer to the other man and whispers: “Then leave. Now!” and Yoongi turns and runs to his cabin.
His heart shatters into a million little pieces as he thinks of leaving his little bean. Thinks of leaving everything he ever knew behind. All the places he spent time with his mother. Would Hoshi grieve for him? Miss him? He only hopes that his little bean was in good hands.
The omega hastily grabs his bag and stuffs some clothes in there. He debates taking more, but everything he leaves behind will be useful to Hoshi. He can always hunt or get creative but the little pup needs every support he can get. When he finishes and steps out the cabin he turns around one more time. Taking in the place he called home until now. Yoongi turns his back on his village, his cabin, his friends, his pup and runs into the forest. The dark welcomes him, swallows him whole.