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“We’ve got the files, Steve.” I panted into my earpiece as I struggled hastily through the snow behind an impatient Bucky, trying not to get left behind. “Barnes!” I hissed.
He glared back at me angrily. “What?” He snapped. “Wait, wait a second.” I gasped. The cold was seeping painfully into my bones and at this point only served to slightly slow the bleeding from the deep wound I had sustained during combat.
“Fuck this.” He muttered under his breath, trudging away into the forest. Towards the safe house.
I almost jumped when I heard Tony’s voice in my earpiece. “Good job kid. We’ll catch up to you at the safe house..tomorrow? How’s that sound?” He asked. I groaned lowly at the thought of having to wait another day for medical attention. The wound was bleeding fast and didn’t show any signs of slowing. “Sounds good.” I lied through gritted teeth, pressing my arm more firmly against the wound. “Alright see you then.” He disappeared.
I hunched over, taking as long as I could to rest before Bucky almost disappeared out of my sight. I hurried to catch up to him, if nothing more than for him to lead us to the safe house. I knew he wouldn’t be talking to me or even acknowledging me if he didn’t have to. He was pissed.
I had slipped up during close combat. As the cold stiffened my limbs, an enhanced soldier had slashed his blade at me, not giving my sluggish body the time to react. As soon as he struck, I fell to the ground, clutching my middle and crying out. He had moved in closer to deal the final blow when Bucky threw him across the room and dealt him a punch to the head with his metal arm, effectively knocking him out. Or killing him. I had no clue nor did I care at that point. As Bucky turned back to me, stepping closer to assess the damage, I saw the fury in his eyes. I scrambled upwards, barely choking back an agonized cry, and forced myself to my feet, defensive.
“I didn’t sign up to be your babysitter.” He growled before whipping around and stalking away from the building, in the direction of the safe house.
I stumbled, clutching onto a tree for support as I groaned and tightened my hold on the gash. I leaned heavily against the tree, shivering violently.
“Hurry up.” Bucky ground out, finally stopping to glare back at me. I thought I saw worry flash in his eyes for a brief second before he turned back around and continued up the hill.
I tightened my grip on the tree before my knees gave out and I fell into the snow. I felt pain coursing through my abdomen but I didn’t have the energy to cry out. All I could do was shiver. I struggled to force myself up before he noticed.
Somehow, I managed. I blearily noticed my fingers were grey. Before, I could feel the sharpness of the cold against my skin, despite the layers of clothing, but now I couldn’t feel them at all. My anxiety rose.
As I hauled myself over the hill, I saw the blood drip from my wound. I cursed under my breath.
It was getting bad.
I blinked hard, trying to get my eyes to focus as I took in short, shallow breaths of the cold air that certainly wasn’t helping at the moment. Through my blurry vision I saw a dark shape approaching me. I stumbled backwards until I realized it was Bucky as I blinked again, his visibly concerned face coming into focus. He said something I couldn’t make out.
I felt my legs start to grow weak beneath me and I attempted to lean against the tree next to me, completely missing. I staggered to the side, almost falling over into the snow had it not been for Bucky rushing to my aid.
“’m fine.” I muttered, trying to wiggle out of his arms and back away from him. He pulled me closer to him and I gasped in pain as he unknowingly put pressure on my wound.
He immediately withdrew his hand, still steadying me with his other as he looked me over for injuries. He frowned. “The safe house is just over that hill. You can make it, right? C'mon.” He said encouragingly, gentle and uncharacteristic concern filled his voice.
“I don’t know.” I whispered. It hurt to even speak, the cold driving sharp knives down my throat as soon as I sucked in a breath.
“It’s just a bit farther, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” He looped my arm around his shoulders, having to bend down quite dramatically because of the height difference.
“Hey. Hey, stay with me sweetheart.” My eyes had drifted shut as I swayed on my feet, leaning into him heavily. I sucked in another pained breath, struggling to force my eyes open. “Bucky.” I whimpered for no reason in particular. His presence used to be so comforting to me before he started pushing me away, and I seeked that out now in my hypothermic state.
“It’s okay.” He reassured me. “I’m here, I’ve got you.” He stopped dragging me along, briefly resting his chin on my head in a comforting gesture.
I drew in a shaky breath, nuzzling into his warmth.
“We have to keep moving.” He insisted.
“I know.” I mumbled.
“We’re almost there- Shit. Shit you’re bleeding! What happened??” His voice raised in worry as he spotted dots of blood in the snow.. He lightly slapped my face. “Hey! Hey wake up, don’t give up on me.”
I flinched away from him, struggling to open my eyes. My head was fogged and my throat and lungs heaved with the effort of my shallow breaths. “Stabbed.” I gasped out, my head beginning to fall forward limply again as he started dragging me with a newfound urgency towards the cabin. He cursed, but he sounded far away.
“’m sorry.” I mumbled. “Don’t be mad, Buck. Don’t know what I did to…to make you mad but ’m sorry.”
“No- No. Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to die. Stop that.” His voice was desperate and it cracked towards the end.
I weakly raised my head as he shoved the door to the cabin open.
He towed me over to the sofa in the middle of the room before dumping me on it and taking three long strides to the pile of the wood and newspaper by the fireplace. He balled up the paper, tossing it in before hastily throwing on some smaller sticks and lighting the fire. I watched as the fire roared to life through hazy vision and heavy eyelids. My eyes started to drift shut.
I pried them open as I felt him grab my arm and haul me over to the fire, pushing me down in front of it. I whined at the pain that danced across my abdomen, though it felt muted. I assumed that was a good reason to be worried, considering the fact that I was still quite literally bleeding out. The only thing that had kept me alive up until this point was pure luck.
And my luck was running out just as fast as the blood from my wound.
I struggled to sit up as Bucky pressed a gentle hand against my chest, pushing me down to the floor. I panicked. “Bucky?” I gasped out.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Relax. Trust me.” He said softly, stern.
“I- I trus’ you. With my life.”
He gritted his teeth, worry and frustration evident on his features. “Please don’t say it like that.”
I allowed him to pull my tactical jacket off. He then moved onto the thermal shirt I had underneath before I protested, weakly gripping his wrist. “Cold.” I said weakly.
“I know, I know. We have to get you out of these, they’re soaked.” He comforted me, his hands moving to the hem of the shirt. “Can you lift your arms up for me sweetheart?”
I tried to weakly lift my arms up before I hissed in pain as the gash on my stomach was stretched. My hands darted back down to apply pressure to it as I curled in on myself.
“I’m sorry.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair and looking away in thought before he glanced back at me. “We can cut it off.” He decided.
He pulled a knife out of his belt and slid it under my shirt. It didn’t take much pressure to slice clean through the damp material.
He tenderly peeled the fabric away from the wound as I winced, not having the energy to do much more than that.
I felt his warm hand come up to my face, cupping my cheek and rubbing his thumb in comforting circles over my cold skin. I could barely feel it but I leaned into the gesture all the same, sighing.
“Holy-.” I faintly heard him mutter as his eyes darted over my battered body. My ribs had been bruised and bruises littered over every other inch of my abdomen, the ugly gash stretched from just above my belly button to curve around my waist and stopped just underneath the side of my ribs.
“’s fine.” I mumbled sleepily.
“I’m going to get the first aid.” He told me, before hastily getting to his feet. I could hear his already faint footsteps become fainter as he walked through the cabin, probably to the bathroom.
My eyes drooped closed and my senses dulled even more, I felt like I was floating. I weakly wiggled my fingers and felt nothing, I couldn’t even tell if I was moving them. My breathing slowed as I fell further into unconsciousness.
When I felt the pressure on my side, pain burst through me and I wanted nothing more than to scream out, but all I could manage was a weak groan. I tried to weakly lift my hand to push away whatever was causing my discomfort, to no avail. I could hear a voice, too far away to make anything out, before everything disappeared completely.
Bucky knew hypothermia when he saw it, he was the Winter Soldier after all, and had seen plenty of cases of it before.
He knew they were on their last legs, metaphorically speaking, and the detrimental wound they had sustained didn’t help at all. They were barely hanging on and their chances of survival were extremely slim.
But he couldn’t let them die. Not like this, not on these terms. He realized how incredibly wrong he had been for pushing them away the way that he had. He had seen the effect it had on them emotionally, and the effect it had on their previously eternal trust for him. He hated it. He hated seeing the doubt and fear in their eyes when he had approached them before.
His arm tightened around their worryingly still form, rubbing his human arm against theirs. He couldn’t let them die.
When I woke, I saw an orange glow in front of me and heat angrily rolled off of it. I felt a solid warmth at my back and wrapped around my shoulders. I tiredly nestled further into it.
It took a moment for my vision to clear but when it did, I realized the glow in front of me was a fire. The solid, comforting warmth at my back was Bucky.
Bucky??
I forced myself up onto my forearms, pushing away from him and struggling to right myself as I scooted back and leaned against the cool marble of the fireplace. I shivered.
He was going to be pissed that he had to take care of me.
He let out a groan and moved to curl further around me, but his eyes shot open when he realized I wasn’t there. He sat up, his gaze darting around the room looking for me. He finally noticed me curled up by the fireplace.
I was clutching my bandaged middle, unconsciously leaning closer to the warmth of the fire.
“I’m sorry.” I apologized hastily. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you take care of-”
He stopped me dead in my tracks. “I was so damn worried about you, you know that?”
I shrunk further back into the corner as I prepared for the argument and the harsh words he was about to throw my way. “I’m sorry.” My voice was small.
I heard his footsteps as I looked down at the floor, I shivered harder, my teeth beginning to chatter, but that was a good sign.
He knelt down in front of me, putting his warm hand under my chin and forcing me to meet his gaze.
“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” He said softly. Mindful of my injuries, he pulled me into a tender hug. I sighed and relaxed into his warmth as he placed a hand on the small of my back.
“I’m so sorry I was a dick to you. I can’t forgive myself for that, I never will. I can’t believe I ruined the friendship we had.” He said softly, resting his chin on the top of my head.
“It’s okay Bucky.” I mumbled.
“No, it’s not. I don’t expect you to forgive me, you can go back to hating me after this, I won’t blame you. Just let me take care of you for now.”
I nodded slightly before I murmured out a “Why?”
I heard him sigh as I shivered slightly and pressed myself closer to him. He pulled back slightly and looked at me. “Let’s get you back to the fire, okay?” He gently picked me up, not giving me time to protest, before carrying me over to the pile of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets he had made by the fire. He glanced at me sheepishly as he pulled away, moving to sit on the couch. “Didn’t wanna just lay you on the floor, it’s cold.”
“Wait.” My voice was hoarse. He gave me a questioning look.
“Come back.” I mumbled. “Are you sure? You don’t-” I interrupted him. “Yes.”
He shuffled forward before folding his legs neatly underneath him and sitting beside me. I closed the distance between us, leaning against him. He resituated himself so he was behind me and pulled me back against his chest. “Is this okay?” He asked. “Very.”
We sat there for a moment, I was about to nod off again when he suddenly broke the silence. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He admitted softly. I stayed silent, urging him to continue. “I’ve lost everyone who’s ever gotten close to me and when you got closer to me it scared me. I couldn’t see something happen to you because of me. It scared me, how much trust you put in me.” He took a shaky breath before continuing. “I realize that was wrong now. Being an asshole to you, pushing you away, wasn’t going to keep you from getting hurt. I only hurt you even more. I’m sorry.” He said finally. I mulled over his words silently, slowly, my mind still foggy and sluggish.
“I understand.” I said quietly. “I forgive you.” I wasn’t a person to say things like that outright. I preferred to express myself through actions, not words, but I knew he needed that.
“You don’t have to.” He insisted.
“But I do. And I don’t hold it against you. I said it, I understand.” I said it as firmly as I could.
“Could we just go back to how things were?” I asked softly.
He pressed a kiss to my hair, resting his cheek on the top of my head. “I would love that.” He sighed.
Noticing how I was beginning to drift off, he gently shifted himself into a horizontal position, pulling me down with him. I let out a low whimper as my wound was jarred painfully. “Easy sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He reassured me softly.
He pulled me close against his chest as I curled into him. I felt completely and utterly safe. I felt protected.
I hummed contentedly as he draped his arm over my waist, careful not to put pressure on any of my injuries.
“Thank you.” I murmured.