Chapter Text
“Jeremy, please unban me from your Minecraft server.”
Ever since the Incident, Jeremy and Michael had been slowly infecting the rest of the Squip Squad with various video games. Their latest venture was a Minecraft server for the group – hosted by Jenna, who is the resident tech expert. Most of the squad had already played in some capacity, but a unified server had turned out to be a real fun thing to look forward to after school.
“Jeremy, please!”
Jeremy had ignored it, in favor of building a house with Michael, who he was in a Discord call with. No matter how many times they banned it, it somehow managed to hack its way back in. Well, more like it just created a burner account. Where it got the money from no one knows. Probably Jeremy’s emergency credit card, RIP. $29.99 per ban, what a steep price.
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has joined the game.
Wait, how did it even make the account? You have to pass a captcha test. ‘I am not a robot’ my ass.
“Not again!” Jeremy groaned.
Michael just laughed at him as he typed in chat. At this point, Squip Shenanigans were just commonplace.
<Player1IsHere> jeremy did you give out jenna’s server ip again?
<Player2IsHeere> ugh no
<ghostgossipgirl> i swear to god-
<Player2IsHeere> i didnt!!
Jeremy sighed, slouching back into his chair. The house he was building was off center. God dammit.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Jeremy please give me operator permissions. I need to improve your house. It is terrible.
The Squip, spawned in the creative world with Jeremy, flew over to where he was working and tried in vain to place some fence gates in choice places, outnumbered by Jeremy and Michael’s impeccable teamwork to break blocks as fast as it could place them.
<Player2IsHeere> you literally hacked into the server (just like in the matrix). why do you need op
<Player1IsHere> (omg he’s just like keanu reeves fr)
Their brief typing allowed the Squip to rapidly add diamond blocks into the build. Honestly, what was it thinking? Only noobs used diamond blocks.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Jeremy, I have just downloaded 100 hours of a popular minecraft youtube series called “Hermitcraft,” and if you want any chance of becoming “mayor,” you NEED a diamond throne.
<xZombieChloe> ok grumbot
SheLikesMusicals has joined the game.
<SheLikesMusicals> Hiiiii guys!!!!
<SheLikesMusicals> what is up!!
<Player2IsHeere> hi christine !
<xZombieChloe> heyy
<Brookclaw_> hi!!
<Player1IsHere> nothin much. The tic tac is back lol
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Please do not refer to me as such. I am a Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.
<Player2IsHeere> ratio
<Player1IsHere> L
<ghostgossipgirl> L
<xZombieChloe> L
<Brookclaw_> L
afluentTrickster is no longer AFK.
<afluentTrickster> L
afluentTrickster is now AFK.
Jeremy could feel the Squip grumble upsettingly at its loss in the back of his head. Letting out a slight laugh, he pulled out a wooden axe and used world edit to move the house back on center. He and Michael quickly patched up the gap in the house leftover from the edit. Together they started work on the roof.
<Player1IsHere> hey christine do you think blackstone or nether brick would look good here?
<SheLikesMusicals> hmm.
<SheLikesMusicals> I’d definitely go with blackstone here, since the nether brick is a bit too purple. Plus you use a bit of blackstone at the base already. Switching it up might look too odd
<Player1IsHere> ty!
<SheLikesMusicals> ofc!
afluentTrickster is no longer AFK.
<afluentTrickster> guys why is building this stupid tnt cannon so fucking hard.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> @afluentTrickster https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxdwdPrFaJ8
<afluentTrickster> brb gonna call jake
<Player2IsHeere> yeah isn’t he a redstone genius or something?
<Brookclaw_> man’s cracked at the craft, and he hadn’t even played minecraft til last week
<SheLikesMusicals> he took robotics last year, I think.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> What? Is my tutorial not good enough for you?
<Player2IsHeere> “““youre””” tutorial
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I wish I could still shock you.
At this moment, Jeremy’s operator status informs him that the Squip attempted to administer the /smite command, but didn’t have the proper permissions. Good.
JakeyD2005 has joined the game.
<JakeyD2005> rich my boiiii whatchu need help with this time
<afluentTrickster> my tnt cannon keeps exploding too early :(
<SheLikesMusicals> wait. I looked at that link, it’s not even for this version of minecraft
<SheLikesMusicals> did you just grab the first google result?
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> no
<Player2IsHeere> oh my god it totally did
<Player2IsHeere> look if you just google “how to build a tnt cannon minecraft” its the first result
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I Did Not Fucking Google It
<afluentTrickster> yeah you used your qubits or whatever the fuck
<ghostgossipgirl> or it used bing
<xZombieChloe> hey google what’s the best level to mine for netherite?
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> https://www.sportskeeda.com/minecraft/top-5-ways-find-netherite-minecraft
<xZombieChloe> this is literally just different ways to mine.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Is that not half of this game’s name? I have done it. I have improved your life.
<xZombieChloe> sureeeee
Jeremy laughed, continuing work on the house. A few minutes passed without much chaos in chat.
<Brookclaw_> whoooaaaa guys did you know that if you press ALT+F4 you get operator permissions???? :O
<Player1IsHere> oh yeah, that’s how i got mine lol
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has left the game.
<Brookclaw_> gottem
<ghostgossipgirl> omfg did that actually fucking work
<afluentTrickster> TROLLED HAHA L
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has joined the game.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Brooke, your cheat code appears to be faulty.
<Brookclaw_> oops. lol
As fun as bullying the Squip was, its constant nagging was getting on Jeremy’s nerves. Creative mode was a lot more fun when you weren’t constantly fighting a griefer who was insistent on ‘improving your terrible minecraft build.’
“Michael, wanna join survival with me? I need to get away from discount Keanu Reeves here.”
“Sure, I’ve had enough of its noobish building tendencies. We need to get some more diamonds anyway.”
Jeremy and Michael quickly teleport to the survival world, joining most of the server. Their world was quite nice, with many people building close to each other around spawn. A lot of people sorta teamed up – Chloe and Brooke were practically glued together, living in an expansive mansion atop a forest hill, and Jeremy and Michael had done their usual base plan of digging into the side of a mountain. Creative was for the fancy building, survival was all about getting rich in resources. Not that the two stood any chance against Brooke, who had been playing practically nonstop since the server opened.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Can I join your survival world?
<Brookclaw_> I guess. As long as you can be cool abt it :P
<ghostgossipgirl> just don’t break anything. No griefing you glorified smartphone
Apparently, Jeremy was not allowed more than a few minutes of peace. Sigh.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I can be so chill. just you watch.
<ghostgossipgirl> okay lol. be more chill or whatever.
<Player2IsHeere> guys please don’t let it join. We literally just left creative to leave it behind
Jeremy continued his strip mine, stumbling upon a massive cave. It was huge and covered in sculk. He was a bit nervous, having not really played too much of the 1.19 update. Plus, he had only a diamond chestplate, the rest of his armor was iron and his boots were almost broken. Unsure, he sneaked further into the cave, and hovered around the edge of a cliff, looking down. He wanted to get a better look. Was that an ancient city? It didn’t matter though, since suddenly a player with a Steve skin appeared in front of him.
<Player2IsHeere> why the Fuck did you teleport it to me
Jeremy watched as the Squip unfroze from the lag and immediately walked off the edge into the cave below.
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P fell from a high place.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> i am a Minecrafter now
Jeremy quickly ran back into his one-by-two tunnel as the Squip had activated three sculk shriekers on its way down and summoned a warden.
He sprinted away, placing blocks behind him and running back up the cobblestone stairs to the surface. He was met with the glorious view of their community area – Brooke and Chloe’s beautiful, half-constructed house on the hill, and a bit to the left of it… erm, yeah, pretty sure that netherrack… appendage… was Rich’s fault. Rich had attempted to build a modest house out of plain wood planks, but creepers kept blowing it up and he’d just fix all the holes with netherrack and dirt. Ugh.
<Player2IsHeere> rich please learn something from christine and build a better house
<JakeyD2005> naw dawg, its cool looking.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> hey, I need another teleport
Jenna teleported the Squip back to Jeremy. Of course he couldn’t ever be free from it.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> ty. this shall be excellent.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Jeremy, we are going to mine So Many diamonds.
Jeremy watched as it spun its head around, looking at the grass and moving awkwardly.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I can see through the ground. Why haven’t you done this earlier?
<Player1IsHere> did you literally just install x-ray
<Player2IsHeere> dude that’s cheating.
The Squip looked up at Jeremy and turned around to the netherrack structure. Rich and Jake hovered above, both in creative and building their TNT cannon.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> are they not cheating?
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> According to most server rules, players are not allowed to be in creative mode in a survival world. Why do I not have operator powers yet, Jeremy?
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> why is he allowed to do that???
<Player2IsHeere> Rich is cooler than you, easy.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> why
<Player2IsHeere> first of all: you're an evil tic tac.
<Player2IsHeere> need I say more?
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> yes
<Player1IsHere> no
<Player2IsHeere> dude you literally had plans to take over the entire human race. that’s textbook evil. anyways, secondly, you still have a steve minecraft skin lol
<JakeyD2005> what’s wrong with a steve skin
<ghostgossipgirl> its literally one of the default options. jake pleasee get a new skin
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has left the game.
<Player2IsHeere> thank fucking god
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has joined the game.
<Player2IsHeere> god fucking dammit.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I am back with a new and improved skin.
It had returned bearing harsh neon colors, accentuated by a little white face on the chest. A fucking Dream skin.
<afluentTrickster> LMAOOOOO WHAT
Christine, curious, teleported to the squip and floated above before dropping down out of creative mode.
<SheLikesMusicals> Oh my god I can’t believe you’re a Dream stan.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> My results found that this was the most popular minecrafter. Surely I am cool now. My quantum processor says this has a 99.9% chance of working perfectly to plan.
<Brookclaw_> looks like someone needs a new quantum processor ^_^
<Player2IsHeere> yeah lol. please get a new skin.
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has left the game.
<SheLikesMusicals> what do you guys think its going to do next?
<afluentTrickster> my bet is on skeppy. he’d like the diamonds
<xZombieChloe> i cannot Fucking believe you watch skeppy
<afluentTrickster> I have class
<xZombieChloe> you literally only watch skeppy.
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has joined the game.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> hey guys look it is me Famous Minecrafter Grian
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> from popular Minecraft Youtube Series Hermitcraft
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I’m sure you are all big fans of my work
<xZombieChloe> oh my god. Exiting the nether rn. I Need to see this.
Brooke and Chloe returned from their nether escapades, and Rich and Jake abandoned their half-built TNT cannon to look at the Squip. Everyone surrounded it as they typed in chat.
<xZombieChloe> YOU GOT THE WRONG SKIN SMFGFDJBGFBGFBFG
<Brookclaw_> he did?
<xZombieChloe> yEAH. Like its close but adkfahsdlkf
<xZombieChloe> why is he dressed like he’s from the matrix
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> according to namemc.com this is an exact avatar that Grian has worn
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> its from my favorite episode
<Player2IsHeere> why do you have a favorite?????
<Player1IsHere> smh imagine not having custom skins
Michael enjoyed getting creative in his free time, and sometimes that creativity manifested in making Minecraft skins. He had made his own – currently set to a rendition of himself, complete with pixelated patch-covered hoodie – as well as Jeremy’s, which was his favorite character from Apocalypse of the Damned, a cyborg antihero.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> hey Michael can I please have a skin
<SheLikesMusicals> HUMAN?????
<Player1IsHere> okay fine you can get a skin. but only bc your choices so far have sucked ass
Player1IsHere is now AFK.
Breaking the comfortable silence between the two, Jeremy asked, “What are you going to make it?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Jeremy could hear Michael’s scheming through the call.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Michael hurry up. Minecraft skins images are only 64 by 64 pixels. It would take me a nanosecond to generate an image that small.
“Michael, it’s being mean to you. It thinks you’re taking too long.”
“I’m going as fast as I can!”
<Player2IsHeere> art takes time tic tac
<Player2IsHeere> if you want the good shit you gotta wait
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> I am very capable of waiting. I have to live with you.
Jeremy and the rest of the squad wait several minutes for Michael to finish. At some point Chloe kills Rich who was briefly set into survival mode.
“Done!” Michael is laughing, this can’t be good. “Wait, how the hell am I supposed to send this to you? You’re a tic tac in Jeremy’s brain, it’s not like I can just dm it to you.”
“Tell Michael I already have it.”
How?
“I downloaded it from his gaming pc. Easy.”
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has left the game.
BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P has joined the game.
<xZombieChloe> wtf is that
<Brookclaw_> oh my god
Jeremy walked over to the Squip and was met with one of the strangest minecraft skins he had laid eyes on. It appeared to be a pixelated rendition of Keanu Reeves, except he was decked out in a maid dress complete with cat ears and a tail. All handcrafted with love from Michael, of course.
The Squip spun its avatar around as the squad gathered by and observed Michael’s work.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> check it out. Totally chill now.
<Player2IsHeere> what. the. Fuck.
Player1IsHere is no longer AFK.
<Player1IsHere> thats basically what jeremy said you look like, right?
<Player2IsHeere> whoa whoa it did NOT have cat ears and tail
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> But I could.
<BE3PB0OPBEEPB0P> Thank you michael. This shall do perfectly. >:)
Jeremy put his face in his hands and stared at his computer screen, letting out a long, slow breath. Glancing down at the time, he noticed it was 11:53, almost midnight. Yeesh, why was everyone still online? There's school tomorrow.
“Okay, okay, I’ve had enough of this nonsense. It’s late, I’m heading out. See you tomorrow?” Jeremy hoped his somewhat abrupt departure wouldn’t seem like he was offended at Michael’s shenanigans. He just really needed a break from all this before waking up and doing it all over again. Ugh.
“Aww, going to bed before midnight? What happened to game now, sleep later?” Michael laughed, well aware of the many times he and Jeremy had stayed up until the early hours of the morning just to play together.
“Heh, I know. But I’m just tired. I mean, I have to deal with this thing at school all day, and now I don’t even get a break when I’m playing Minecraft.”
“I know, I’m just kidding. I should probably get to sleep too. Night Jer.” Michael left the call, then he and Jeremy said their goodbyes in the game’s chat before logging off.