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It's been weeks since he last saw Zhongli, and no it's not like he's keeping track of it. Weeks have passed since the Osial fiasco, he has a made his trip to Snezhnaya but was sent back to Liyue to repair diplomatic relations between to two nations. Usually, senior diplomats would suffice for this role, but given the possibility of a nation being drowned, a harbinger needed to be present. He's not only here for diplomatic reasons but also to make sure fatui soldiers stationed here stay safe and their will does not falter. And Tartaglia is nothing if not a loyal harbinger, so he will do his best in Liyue. Even if it means having the possibility of running into Zhongli at any moment.
It's not like he is intentionally avoiding Zhongli, it's just he does not know how to confront the man. He would be a hypocrite if he stayed mad at Zhongli for the plan or for hiding his truth. He was lying to him about his mission in Liyue. They both had their secrets and responsibilities, he understands it all too well.
Perhaps he is mad at himself for getting played, even though he was praised by her majesty, the Tsaritsa, for being the perfect catalyst and vanguard in liyue, he still wanted to do it all by himself and not be in the dark.
A part of him also felt hurt, not as a harbinger or a diplomat, but as a man whose heart decided to latch onto another. He knows better than anyone not to get attached, but with Zhongli, it just happened so naturally that he could not help. Or maybe he could, he knew the first time he met the consultant, how infatuated he was, he remembers the moment he saw him smile, the first time he bought him a gift, the time they took a walk together, and the time he realized he allowed all of this to continue because he did not want to stop being in Zhongli's company. He was an honest man, he knew a long time ago, that he did not see Zhongli as a mere friend, and that he harbored romantic feelings for him.
And the possibility that he was nothing but a pawn made him feel sick. Ekaterina told him that Zhongli asked for him multiple times during his absence in liyue. As much as he wants to ask Zhongli about it, he is nervous that Zhongli might just want to put an official end to their 'friendship' after everything.
.
It's sometime after noon that he steps out of northland bank to visit wanmin. A few weeks before, he would've been out eating with Zhongli there and now he deliberatively steps out late to make sure he won't run into him.
He's a few steps away from the bank when he sees Zhongli, his Zhongli, looking as beautiful as always. But a man is walking alongside Zhongli, definitely a foreigner, probably from Mondstadt or Fontaine. He decided to walk near an alley to stay out of the eyes and look at Zhongli. But the longer he stared, the more he noticed how Zhongli looked out of his element and very disinterested. The disinterested and posied consultant looked like he wants to be anywhere but here, yet he kept giving small replies, while the man near him kept talking and trying to slide into his personal space.
He watched as both men walked down the stairs toward the docks. Childe was sure Zhongli was acting as a hired consultant but everything about the other man screamed wrong to him. He had a strong urge to get Zhongli to his side. He sighed. He wasn't sure what value he even had in Zhongli's life, to think he had the authority to have an urge like this. Yet he knew a suspicious man when he saw one.
"Soldier." He said.
"Yes, Lord Harbinger." Said a fatui soldier, who materialized near him.
"Keep an eye on those two, and find out everything about that other man."
"Yes sir, understood." The soldier disappeared fast.
With his way clear, he made his way to wanmin. Xiangling waved towards him from an occupied table. He recognized the customers as Xingqiu, the young heir of the feiyun guild, and Chonghyun, an exorcist if he can remember correctly. Near them sits a slightly disheveled Hu tao. A rare sight, he thought.
"Have your lunch timings changed? You just missed Mr. Zhongli. He was here a minute ago." Xiangling asked.
"Ah yes. A bit more work these days." He tries to reason.
"Mr. Harbinger, have a sit with us. Don't sit there alone." Xingqiu called out to him.
"Don't worry. I don't want to impose on you guys."
"Oh come on, you fatui man. A little flood in liyue, and you start acting like you don't even know us." Hu tao snickered. "Besides don't you want to listen to all the gossip after being away?"
"Since you invite me so kindly, I'll accept." He smiles and hopes it looks genuine.
"We did not see you in a while. My father told me you had left liyue." Xingqiu steered the conversation.
"Yes I did, but I was asked to continue my stay here as a diplomat and look after the bank.
"Should I bring your usuals?" Xiangling asks and he nods.
"You stopped coming to the funeral parlor and I thought we had lost our rich client." Hu tao speaks.
"Now why would you think that? The fatui are always glad to do business with Wangsheng."
"Aiya, why would I not think that? You used to come by so often to pick Zhongli up or to just wait for him and now suddenly you were gone. My dear consultant was worried for you. Even Meng and Ferrylady missed your presence." Hu tao finishes as Xiangling puts his food in front of him.
He stuffs his mouth with food to buy more time to think of an excuse.
"Yes, and without you, even Mr. Zhongli stopped coming to wanmin unless it's Hutao dragging him here. Did you two fight Mr. Childe, I thought you both were so happy toge-?" He chokes cutting Xiangling's words off.
"Oh no, would you like a popsicle?" Chonghyun asks worriedly. And Childe, tired of everything, decides to take it and eat it out of frustration.
"We did not fight." He tries to explain to his audience. "I just left hurriedly and didn't have the chance to talk. I haven't seen him since I returned because I have been busy, otherwise I would meet him."
"Then you should just come over to the parlor no? It's so close by." Hutao piped in.
"As I said, I have been busy."
"Zhongli told me he went to northland bank to ask about you, should you not send a message now that you're back?"
"Well Zhongli must be busy so I thought I'd meet him later." He felt like he was being interrogated.
"Why would you assume he'd be so busy?"
"I just saw him with a client, so of course, he is a bus-"
"Ah ha, so you did see him with that client but you did not say 'hi' to him?" Hu tao countered, and it might be just him but the way hu tao spoke sounded like she was a little angry and almost spit out the word 'client'. He was speechless and the accusing stares of the other three weren't helping either.
"Ah Hutao, were you not in a hurry before? They both must be waiting." Xingqiu prompted, being the most sensitive to this situation.
"Aiya, this fatui man making me late. I'll see you all later. That client is putting me through so much, I might just make him see the afterlife myself. And you", she pointed her finger at Childe, "don't think this is over. I will make sure to tell Zhongli about your disregard for his feelings." She waved and went in the direction of the docks.
"Don't mind her. You know how she likes to joke. She has also been a little stressed lately."
"Stressed? Her? And who was that client she mentioned? " He questioned.
"He's a businessman from Fontaine and a very rich and influential one. He wants to make some big investments in liyue. Qixing liked the idea very much and hired the best consultant for him, to have him look around and help make a decision quickly.
"Probably qixing is the reason why hu tao can't say no to that man. I feel bad for Mr. Zhongli."
"Why bad? Is he causing any trouble for Zhongli?" He couldn't help the anger in his voice.
"I think he's a bad man and Mr. Zhongli looks very uncomfortable with him. That's why hu tao always makes sure to tag with them, the businessman doesn't like it when she does."
"I think you understand well what we mean Mr. Harbinger," Xingqiu said with a sad smile. "My father had few meetings with him, and called him a 'dishonest man with a questionable character '. He wrote a letter to the qixing too, but they're still thinking an investment is profitable for them, and well he hasn't done anything to make us openly question his motives."
"Ah, I see. You guys don't have to worry. Zhongli is a strong and capable man, and if it eases your tension, I will make sure to ask Zhongli about it." He smiled and tries to dissolve the tense conversation. "I will see you guys later."
.
"So?"
"His name is Louis, a businessman from Fontaine. He was just a normal merchant until a while ago, but suddenly he amassed great wealth and has been looking to expand it. He has quite a few cases of exploitation and fraud back in Fontaine but looks like he's been trying to silence those with his power. I am sure our comrades stationed in Fontaine could send us more evidence at your command, My lord."
"I see. And his location?"
"Right now he is near yujin terrace talking to some city employees, but I have found out he has made a reservation in a bar for a business meeting with the wangsheng consultant and will be there this evening. It's a snezhnayan bar, that recently resumed its business."
"I want you to request more evidence against this man. Tell them the eleventh harbinger demands it immediately. And make sure to send a copy of it to the director of Wangsheng and Secretary ganyu of liyue qixing, mark it as anonymous."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Good job soldier, I will take it from here."
.
He makes it inside the bar, being a fatui harbinger, a snezhnayan bar is like his own territory. Everyone knows him and he knows everyone. The manager, Igor, points him in the direction of Louis and Zhongli. As expected, the disgusting man has no regard for personal space and constantly tries to get closer to his Zhongli. Childe sits on a nearby table in the dark, where he can have a full view of the other two men.
"Come on Zhongli, you have just kept drinking since we got here and ignoring my presence. Is the snezhnayan alcohol more interesting than me?" Childe wants to throw up. Zhongli just downs another glass instead of replying.
"Now Zhongli, I see a heartbroken man in you. It's okay. You can talk to me."
"Please don't refer to me so informally," Zhongli says slowly as he keeps drinking. His actions become slower and lazier.
"Now, such a nice night is meant to be enjoyed. I can heal your heart. All you have to do is say yes."
"You don't know anything," Zhongli said. He hasn't stopped drinking ever since Childe arrived, and who knows how much he downed before. He was looking drunk. It was snezhnayan alchohol after all.
"Ah ha ha. I don't need to know anything, dear Zhongli. You're yearning for someone who isn't even here." He said while putting his hand on Zhongli's. "But I am. I can take your pain and this loneliness away."
"Huh? You?"
"Yes me. Come now, don't deny me." Childe has had enough of this sleazy bastard, trying to take advantage of Zhongli's drunken state. His blood is boiling and he knows he is going to do something with that man that'll cause problems with the qixing again.
He doesn't understand why Zhongli isn't doing anything about it. Gnosis or no gnosis, Zhongli is a strong warrior who can move mountains with his will. Why is he so broken and weak right now? Why is he just letting it go on?
"You will take my pain away?"
"Yes. Come on Zhongli, get up. let's go to my room."
"But you're not Ajax, I only want him."
"You're testing my fucking patience. You're sleeping with me tonight, I don't care--AH WHAT!?"
His words were cut off when he was grabbed from the chair and smashed against the wall. Childe was fuming with anger and disgust. How dare someone lay a hand on his Zhongli like this?
"WHAT THE FUCK-DO U KNOW I AM?"
"Shhh Louis, we don't want to disturb others do we?" Childe speaks. Fortunately, they were sitting at the back and most of the people were drunk, so no one was seemingly giving attention to them. Even Zhongli was sitting carelessly, trying to drink more. Childe signaled Igor to stop Zhongli.
"LET ME GO! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I-"
"Oh, I am aware of who you are. A disgusting bastard that's who. But do you know who I am?"
"I don't care, let me go this instant, or I will call-" Louis, somewhat scared now.
"Or what? Call security, manager? No one here is going to help you. Do you think anyone will come to save you from the hands of a Harbinger? Hmm, Louis?" Childe smiled, tightening his hold on Louis' jaw.
"What do you want? Mora? Take it all and let me go. Please leave me." Louis said, feeling the seriousness of the situation settling.
"I have more Mora than you will ever have in all your lives."
"Just let me go. You want that consultant-take that whor-" Childe punched him making him fall. Childe grabbed his now bloodied jaw, picking him up and slamming him against the wall again.
"Stay away from my Zhongli and away from liyue. Or I will make sure even your dead body won't reach Fontaine. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I will go, I promise. I will be gone. Please, let me go." Childe punches him again for good measure. He could have done much more but he wanted to get back to Zhongli. He signaled the guards to drag Louis out.
"Zhongli, do you feel okay?"
"Huh?" Zhongli looks up at him, eyes hazy, with a glass of water in his hand, probably given by Igor.
"You're drunk right now, do you want me to drop you home?"
"Ajax?" Zhongli asked, furrowing his brows cutely.
"Yes." He smiled. "It's Ajax. Want to go home?"
"Yes. I want Ajax to take me home." Zhongli nodded, slightly slurring.
And so they walked out, him holding Zhongli by the waist with Zhongli's hand around his shoulder, meanwhile, Zhongli leaned his weight on him.
"What has gotten into you Zhongli? You never drank this much before?"
"I don't know, I was feeling so sad."
"Sad?"
"Yes, sad."
"You should not go out drinking with bad people even if you're feeling sad, okay?"
"I know. I am not stupid," Zhongli said, slightly annoyed.
"I know you aren't. Where're your keys?"
"Here." Zhongli said patting his front pocket.
Childe opened the door and took Zhongli to the bedroom.
"Sit." He said and brought back a glass of cold water from the kitchen. "Now drink this."
Zhongli was almost sprawled out on the bed but managed to finish the water. Meanwhile, he worked on taking off Zhongli's shoes and socks. "Hands up Zhongli." Zhongli copied him, and he took the jacket off.
"This should be comfortable enough." He hummed, dragging his fingers through Zhongli's hair and taking the hair tie off. He won't lie, he was loving this moment of peace, taking care of Zhongli. Zhongli looked so serene, so calm, and just as beautiful as ever. Childe felt his heart flip inside. Zhongli was now in his pants and shirt.
"I will tuck you in. Have a good sleep because you're gonna have a shit hangover tomorrow."
"Mhmm. Never liked those." Zhongli frowned.
"You're gonna hate this one, the amount of firewater you've downed. Sheesh, Zhongli."
"I was just sad." Zhongli whined again.
"We will talk about it in the morning okay?" He said, tucking Zhongli in and turning around.
"Won't Ajax stay?" Zhongli asked quietly, so quiet that he could've missed if not for the silence around.
"Do you want me to stay?"
"I want Ajax to stay." Zhongli whispered.
"Okay." He lay near Zhongli, supporting his head with his hand, and patting Zhongli's head. He will leave once Zhongli falls asleep, he decided. But Zhongli kept staring at him.
"Close your eyes Zhongli or you won't fall asleep."
"No." Zhongli said, shaking his head cutely, "If I close my eyes, then Ajax will go."
"I won't go."
"No, he will go. He always does. And I will be sad again."
"Zhongli." he sighed, "Why were you so sad, to the point you disregarded your safety."
"I was sad because Ajax wasn't here. Because I missed him so much." Childe sucked in a breath. Was this real? did Zhongli miss him as much as he missed Zhongli? Did Zhongli also feel the same or is it just the alcohol talking?
"But I am here right now, so you don't have to be sad."
"But you're not my Ajax." Huh? It was getting really hard to make sense of a drunk Zhongli.
"What do you mean? There's only one Ajax, and it's me."
"No, you're Ajax, but not mine. My Ajax went away because he is upset with me. He won't talk to me. Even though I asked for him so many times-" Zhongli hiccupped "He won't talk." His voice became more vulnerable. "He went away before I could tell him, how much I loved him."
"You love me?!"
"Not you. I love MY Ajax. You're just in my dream." Zhongli huffed, emphasizing 'my'.
"HUH? Your dream?"
"Yes, I dream of Ajax and he comes but he always goes away when I wake up. So you're not real." Zhongli completes, in a small and sad voice.
It breaks his heart, to think that Zhongli was suffering just as much as he, meanwhile he wasted his time avoiding the man. He was angry at himself, if only he'd written to Zhongli or just talked to him, he'd know that both of them were so stupid. Zhongli looks so vulnerable and so honest in this moment, he finds it impossible to not believe the man. He sighed, morning needs to come soon.
"Zhongli," he starts, caressing the other man's cheek, "I will be here when you wake. That's a promise. You know your Ajax always keeps his promise right?" Zhongli nods. "So sleep for me, okay?" Zhongli looks like he is about to argue but childe puts a finger on his mouth. "Please?" Zhongli, even though reluctantly, nods and closes his eyes. It's not long before he's out cold, deep in sleep.
.
He sits fidgeting on the dining table in Zhongli's kitchen. He still can't believe Zhongli just confessed to loving him last night. He couldn't sleep even for a minute. Even though he would never doubt Zhongli's feelings and rejoiced, he just wants to talk this out with a sober Zhongli. To confirm, for his heart, that Zhongli loves him back.
He looked at the doorway again and saw Zhongli rubbing his eyes, not noticing him yet. It took a minute for Zhongli to notice his presence, and they stared at each other for a few minutes. He waved his hand a little, waiting for Zhongli to acknowledge him but Zhongli just turned around and went back into the hallway. He waited a few minutes musing what was that about. Did Zhongli just ignore him? Was last night just an alcoholic dream and nothing more?
He was in the middle of more thoughts when Zhongli returned drying his face with a towel, not looking at him, murmuring to himself.
"I've gone mad, now I see him during the day too. Stupid alcohol."
"Ahm Zhongli?" He tried to make the man notice him.
Zhongli turned around surprised and looked at him. He smiled but Zhongli kept staring at him like he was some otherworldly alien unknown to teyvat.
"Hey, Zhongli? You here?"
At this, Zhongli slowly moved and came slower, standing in front of him. Zhongli brought his hand up, touching his face. When it made contact with his face, Zhongli got startled like a cat. He managed to grab Zhongli, thanks to his fast reflexes before he could fall.
"YOU'RE ACTUALLY REAL?" Zhongli said, out of breath.
"OF COURSE I AM." He sighed, "Seriously, how bad of a hangover do you have? Come sit here."
He passed a cup of tea to Zhongli, he doesn't know which one but he assumed if it was in Zhongli's kitchen, it must be damn good. They both silently sipped their tea, stealing glances.
"I was not aware you were in liyue," Zhongli said, clearing his throat. Probably tired of the awkwardness.
"Ah yes, I came a few days before. Damage control and all that you know."
Zhongli nodded and hesitated before asking further.
"I-um I asked for you, while you were not here, to Ekaterina."
"Yes, she told me. I was busy so I didn't get the time, I was planning to meet you as soon as things cleared up."
"Yes, I understand. And uh I apologize for my behavior this morning, it seems I cannot hold hard alcohol that well."
"No worry, it's okay. uh yeah", he sighed. "You know what Zhongli, it's not. It's not okay."
"Yes, it was very careless of me-"
"Yes, it was very careless of you. I know you're an Adeptus, very strong and all that but still? Putting yourself in a vulnerable position like this? You have no idea how angry I feel even just thinking about the possibility of anything happening to you. And that jerk, pity I could not kill him."
Zhongli just looked at the empty cup, contemplating his response.
"We need to address the elephant in the room Zhongli."
"Well, then why don't you address it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I already laid my feelings out to you last night, now it's up to you to address it. I was hoping that you'd ignore those unrequited feelings of mine and save me from the pity, but you had to bring it up." Zhongli answered, avoiding his eyes.
"So you remember everything?" He asked.
"I-yes I do. I haven't lost my memories, I was just drunk."
"Did you mean it?"
"Every word of it." Zhongli slowly took his hand, "Being with you has made me realize the true essence of actually being alive. I am sure you must have doubts, especially after everything, but I want you to know every moment spent with you has been my happiest one. I genuinely enjoy your presence beside me. These past few weeks without you have been the loneliest I have ever felt. I was not sure how you were feeling after you left the bank, and I wanted to tell you this. but i- I hesitated, after all, you were a harbinger on a mission, and to you, I was just a consultant in your plan, and the next day I went asking for you, Ekaterina told me you were gone."
He pulled Zhongli with his hand and dragged him closer.
"Childe?"
"I am sorry."
"No, I am sorry-"
"Shh. We're both so clueless."
"Huh?"
"Would you believe me, if I said I have felt the same? That I have been longing for you too? That I missed you too, if not more?"
"Do you truly mean it?" Zhongli asked, looking at him with those golden eyes.
"You know me, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." He sighed, deciding to be honest. "I lied, I-I had enough time in my hands to come and meet you whenever I wanted but- but I assumed you were not interested in meeting me anymore. I was not sure if I was needed in your life anymore. I wasn't sure if we could be even friends, let alone anything more. I am sorry Zhongli if only I had come to you sooner."
"No, I-you're here now, with me. You have no idea how delighted I am. I thought I'd never see you again Ajax."
"I won't let that happen. Wherever I go, I will always come to you. You're the only person with whom I've felt myself, I don't have to hide, I don't need to pretend. You take me for who I am. I have never known love until I met you."
"You love me?" Zhongli gasped.
"Now, don't be so shy, as if you didn't confess it yourself last night."
"That's different."
"And now? Say it again."
"You say it first." He chuckled. He didn't need to be told again.
"I love you, Zhongli. With all of my being, anything that's left. Я отдаю тебе всю свою любовь."
"My heart is full of love for you. I love you, Ajax."