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Miskatonic Middle School was throwing their annual All-Grades Holiday Party. The Addamses and Glickers signed up to make the latkes and applesauce.
The night of, Morticia and Wednesday Addams entered the Glicker home with a tall bottle of canola oil in tow. “Sorry it took so long,” Morticia started. “We had to gather all the oil we hadn’t already boiled up and dumped on the phone-carrier salesman.”
Wednesday perked up. “You should’ve seen it, Joel — it melted straight through his hat and burned off all his hair.”
Mrs. Glicker cringed. Joel’s eyebrows shot up. “The smell must’ve been wicked,” he said wondrously.
“It was,” Wednesday answered proudly.
After their mothers had mashed up the latke batter and set all the batter scoops in the frying pan, they retired to the living room so the kids could keep watch.
“You know, Henry the Eighth used to execute criminals by having vats of boiling oil dumped on them,” Joel said, by way of beginning the conversation.
“Huh,” Wednesday replied. “But two of his wives were beheaded…. I wonder which was more painful — AAH!” She leaped back, clutching the back of her left hand. It had a red splotch in the center from a flash-burn of oil.
“Oh no!” Joel lept into action, wetting a paper towel with cold sink-water. “This should help. You need a bandage?”
“No….I should be okay.” She blinked. “Though it still hurts a little.”
“Can I see?”
She thrust her left hand out to him, red splotch already fading. Now it was as small as a rosebud….Before he could stop himself, he leaned forward and kissed the back of her hand — then immediately jerked away.
“I — uhhh — I had seen that in a movie once….”
Wednesday’s face turned as red as her hand, but still smiled.