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Love Is a Locked Cell Door

Summary:

A steamy crack fic in which Chase, in the midst of a night with Agent Zari, realizes that he isn't happy. That there's only one person for him, and that person is in their interrogation rooms waiting to call him "luv." Or whatever Australians say as petnames.

Notes:

ITSAJOKEITSAJOKEITAJOKEITAJOKEISWEARITSAJ

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The feeling of her fingers was wrong.

It had always been wrong. Chase was realizing that now. It wasn’t him– it wasn’t his past addictions or old injuries or self-righteousness that were making him feel as if he and Agent Zari should not be together. It was his fault, yes, but those weren’t the reasons.

He shifted, uncomfortable suddenly as if it were a stranger touching him and not his girlfriend (was she really that at all, or just a series of one-night stands that were too regular to just be that anymore?). 

“What?” Zari’s voice was as flat as ever, and as per usual she had picked up on every little shift of his body. She always did. It was like she ripped him open and laid him bare every time her eyes grazed him. He thought that was what he had liked about her. She kept him in check. He’d always liked the idea of a partner who matched him, and one who could punch him in the face and he would thank her for it.

But not like this. Never, ever like this.

“It’s…er…the case.” He blundered, spitting out the first thing that came to mind (or perhaps the other thing that had constantly been on his mind). “I find him very strange, that Mr. Calloway.” 

And hot.

“He was a part of the first case concerning the Red Devil I ever was a part of, and now he has popped back up with no recollections. He has been…on the brain.”

“I’m the last person you would ever expect to say this, Devineaux, but shut the fuck up about work right now. I have to put up with you running your mouth enough during the day. Now do some real work, Chase.”

As she looked down at him, he felt a rush of what he had thought previously was attraction. Maybe it was just fear. The only body he wanted on him right now was the one in their interrogation rooms, if he would have him.

Even if he wouldn’t, rejection would be a hell of a lot better than being stuck in a straight relationship.

“You know what? No.” The detective said, squirming out from underneath her and sliding his feet to the floor, feeling for his slippers. “I can’t do this.”
“What?” Zari’s voice was deathly cold and Chase winced as he tied his robe around himself. 

“Agent Zari, I’m gay.”

“I know, dickhead.” 

That was not the response he was expecting. 

“Huh?”

“Jesus, you’re terrible in bed. If it didn’t feel so good to make you whine I wouldn’t waste my damn time.”

Chase took a breath, feeling characteristically like cowering or perhaps whining about this but deciding against it. “I’m going to go tell Graham Calloway that I want to date him and I will be fucking happy about it, whether he says yes or not. At least it’ll be true to myself.”

Zari slid off the bed silently and advanced on him. He backed up, hitting the wall of her apartment, and suddenly felt a chill. She had weapons in the house. She wouldn’t use them…would she?

“You poor bastard.” She grabs his chin and forces him to look at her. “At least with me you have something. If you walk out that door and try to go fuck the amnesiac criminal in our holding cells you’ll never get so much as a look again. Not from me, not from another man. Certainly you’ll never be promoted. Can you imagine?”

She leans closer. “Did you hear?” She mocks. “Agent Devineaux asked out the Aussie in the prison. Such a shame. Just when we found out how many people Calloway had killed too. At least Devineaux won’t be missed.”

She looks him in the eyes, a snarl twisting her mouth as she searches them, and then shoves him away when she sees his expression harden. “Alright. Fine. Get out.”

“Zari, I’m-”

“Get. Out.”

 

Devineaux unlocked the cell door.

“‘Ello.” Graham said, tilting his head in that cute little way Chase had noticed during interrogations. “Time for more already?”

“No.” Chase said, standing in front of the Australian. “Monsieur Calloway, I would like you to kiss me.”

“Oh.” Graham stood too, meeting Chase’s eyes. “You’re…are you serious?”

“Yes.” Chase breathed. “I’ve just left my girlfriend because you made me realize I was gay. I rushed here to ask you.” He sighed. “I don’t even care what you say. Asking you has fulfilled me. My identity.”

“Mate, that’s hella forward.” Was that a purr in his voice? “I’m into that. I thought you’d never ask.”

And just like that, Graham Calloway leans in and kisses him.

 

“Uh, Chief?”

“What is it, Agent Williamson?” The woman comes over to look at the monitor.

“Agent Devineaux and Mr. Calloway are getting naked in his cell, ma’am.”

“So I see, Agent.”

“What should…what should I do, ma’am?”

“Well, give them some privacy for starters, Agent.” She says. “If the man wants to interrogate him that way, let him.”

Notes:

thanks west