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Angel can’t keep his eyes off of her. Admittedly, this isn’t all that unusual for him, but she always figured it was a vampire thing. She didn’t think it was a…. a her thing. She grins at him, genuinely happy, even as the worry niggles at the back of her mind. He smiles back at her, also truly, genuinely happy.
And therein lies the problem.
Cordelia has a plan. She’s had a plan since the first time Connor smiled at Angel and Angel - big bad dark gloomy Angel - nearly went to pieces over it. What would happen when Connor learned to walk? When his first word was ‘Dada’? A recurring waking nightmare for Cordelia is that one moment Angel will be holding his son and the next he’ll be doubled over in pain as his soul leaves him for good.
She’s not going to wait around for that terror to become a reality.
And now he tells her that he loves her. And God help her, she loves him too. This path she knows; she may not have walked it personally the last time around, but she was there for the aftermath. She knows what is to come if they slip up.
Angel offers her an oversized t-shirt for her to change into. She does so modestly, heading into the attached bathroom so he won’t see her as she strips down to just her panties and pulls the shirt over her head. She’s quiet as she emerges from the bathroom, and she has a feeling Angel knows something is up because he’s peering at her curiously, worriedly. She smiles at him, pouring what she hopes is her normal amount of energy into her expression. He smiles back, hesitant and shaky. The look of awe in his eyes as he gazes at her makes her feel giddy.
They climb into bed together and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. The covers are warm and heavy, and she can feel her body heat being absorbed and returned to her by Angel’s body. The tension of the day seeps from her, and she feels almost content and secure enough to actually fall asleep.
But she doesn’t.
Angel murmurs a good night and falls asleep almost immediately. Cordelia waits until she is sure he is out before slipping quietly out of bed and into a pilfered pair of Angel’s boxers. She peers into Connor’s cradle, thinking a quick apology to him and hoping she’ll be back before he has time to register that she’s gone. She doesn’t know how good babies’ memories are, but she hopes her absence won’t hurt him in any way.
She sneaks downstairs, gathers the materials she needs, and calls a cab to take her back to her apartment. Dennis will see her leave, but that can’t be helped. She’ll need supplies. She dashes off a quick note that explains precisely nothing; she’s afraid if she says too much they’ll find her and talk her out of what she plans to do.
Not that she would listen.
Because once Cordelia Chase sets her mind to do something, there is no stopping her.
And if Angel doesn’t know that about her by now, maybe he’s not as in love with her as he thinks he is.
She sets down her pen and walks out of the hotel into the black night.