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In his muddied haze of sadness and relief, Mo looks up at the boy who saved his life, and asks him to come home with him. Fiddling with his newly bandaged hand, He Tian meets Mo’s gaze, and that soft smile, god, it feels like someone has taken hold of his heart and squeezed.
Mo shoves his hands into his pockets as He Tian begins trailing behind him, the two boys walking towards Mo’s apartment in comfortable silence. The stars wink at them from above, and the breath between them begins to grow heavy with everything unsaid, with the numerous unthinkable events of the day.
Mo tilts his head back, soaking in the night sky as they walk on. She Li is dealt with, he thinks to himself. He’s gone… dead, even. Please, I hope that fucker is dead for good.
He releases a harsh breath, anxious despite feeling like he should be at ease. Mo can feel Tian glance at his profile as they pass beneath the golden glow of a streetlamp. He represses a shudder, warming at the thought that Tian is okay, and right here where Guan Shan wants him. He had thrown himself into danger for Mo without hesitation—a thought that makes the redhead want to curl up into a ball and cry.
As they turn the corner onto his apartment block, Mo looks up at Tian, his only anchor in light of his dark and scattered thoughts. God, he really loves me. He almost died for me because he loves me and I can’t stop thinking about it and fuck, I think I love him too.
Tian meets his eyes then, brushing his fingers against Mo’s as if to say ‘I’m here, I will always be here for you’. The redhead’s pulse kicks up as He Tian maintains the contact for a few seconds, though nothing comes of it before they reach the entrance to his building.
“Tian….” Mo starts, though all he gets is a fleeting, sad smile before the raven haired boy is knocking on the door to apartment 302, and Mo’s mother is hurrying them in, fussing over both boys and their collective injuries. She shuffles them into seats at the kitchen table, scurrying away just as quickly to prepare a meal that will warm their tired bones.
Just when Mo feels like the silence will suffocate him, Tian starts, chin propped on his hand as he looks at Mo with that same sombre expression he’s maintained all evening.
“Momo… thank you for inviting me to your place,” He pauses to smile softly, and damn it if Mo doesn’t melt under its weight, tired of fighting his feelings anymore. “I’m sure auntie is a great cook just like you~” Tian says, transferring his smile towards Mo’s mother as she places two bowls of stew in front of the boys. She returns He Tian’s smile without hesitation, saying “you two enjoy your meal, and make sure to get some rest!” before leaving them to go watch a movie on the couch.
They eat quietly for a while—content to enjoy a good meal after fighting exhaustion all day. Mo can feel Tian glancing at him as he swallows a mouthful of soup, and soon enough it becomes Mo looking at Tian, and then them looking at eachother. When Mo finishes his bowl of beef stew, he sits back in his chair and tries to clear his head of anything but the boy in front of him. He Tian followed him home without question, seeking comfort in Mo and his mom and their tiny ass apartment. Mo digs his hands deeper into his pockets, something twisting in his gut at the thought that Tian would rather be here, part of Mo’s fucked up family and his fucked up life, rather than at his own place with his massive bed and warm shower (something much needed after taking such a brutal beating).
The dark bags under Tian’s eyes make Mo’s heart hurt, and he doesn’t realize he’s staring until Tian says, “The soup, it’s delicious, really.”
And then something snaps inside of Mo. Something about the soft rasp in Tian’s voice paired with the sad look in his eyes as he offers up such innocent words has him burning and he doesn’t know why. Suddenly, he can’t sit still. He doesn’t know what it is that he wants, but he knows that he needs this boy, and he needs him to understand just how much he is loved.
And then Mo is standing. He places a firm grip around Tian’s wrist, all but dragging him into his bedroom before closing the door softly behind them. Finally, finally, that look of sorrow has left Tian’s eyes, replaced by something more settled, calm. Mo’s hand is still around his wrist, and before he can think too much about it, he backs himself into his curtains, taking Tian with him until they stand merely a hairs breadth apart.
Guan Shan has never kissed anyone nor done anything even remotely romantic in nature, despite having several opportunities with girls who liked him in school. As embarrassing as it sounds, handholding is a luxury that he’s only ever allowed himself to have with Tian after he was found broken and bloodied up by She Li… a considerable breakthrough in their relationship following months of contention. Could Mo even call him and Tian friends? Or had they always been dancing around something more?
Now, in the face of his own uncontrollable desire, Mo finds himself frozen with the reality of what he wants, trembling faintly despite his subconscious screaming of course he wants this too, you idiot.
Before Mo can be pulled under by his nerves and doubt, he feels the unmistakable tickle of fingers running against his palm. Just like that, he is snapped out of his thoughts, meeting Tian’s gaze as the raven haired boy ducks his head down slightly. Tian weaves his fingers through Mo’s, squeezing lightly in reassurance; he makes no further move beyond that, content to go at the pace set for him by the redheaded boy. In that moment, their fingers interlaced, chests pressed together, nothing but the sound of their laboured breath filling the room, Mo thinks that he’s never felt safe like this with anyone else.
His hand is trembling slightly as he feels up Tian’s chest to reach for the back of his neck, and this time when their eyes meet, Tian’s gaze is heavy-lidded with barely restrained want. Mo feels another surge of desire ripple through him, and he finally gives in, pulling Tian’s lips onto his as he leans against the bedroom curtains. Tian’s arms come around his back, and all he can think is home, home, home.
They kiss chastely, inexperience colouring the first few moments of their coming-together. They kiss again, and Tian begins caressing his hand up and down Mo’s back, pulling away every-so-slightly to catch his breath and look at Mo with a reverence that nearly brings the redhead to his knees. The moment is so unbearably intimate, that Mo breaks it by pulling Tian into another kiss, ignoring the way that his toes curl in his socks, desire shooting up his spine.
Nervousness feels like a faint memory, now with Tian holding him like he’s the most precious thing in the world. Mo brings his hands—one gripping Tian’s shirt, the other on the back of his neck—both to Tian’s skull as he weaves his fingers through raven hair without breaking their kiss. The new contact causes Tian to press slightly harder against Mo’s lips, and the breathy moan he lets out sends shivers coursing through Mo’s entire body. He wants to hear it again. He wants to be the cause of such an unrestrained sound leaving Tian’s lips.
But ultimately, he wants to be in this moment forever. Tian’s arms around him, their breaths intermingling, so consumed by each other that all the pain and heartache in their lives will fade to nothingness.
Tian breaks the kiss to catch his breath once more, though this time, he begins to caress a thumb across Mo’s cheek, content to admire the simple reality of having the boy he’s always wanted now in his arms, wanting him back.
“Momo…” Tian murmurs, the sound hardly more than a rumble in his chest.
—And Guan Shan is completely smitten, transfixed by the reverent look in Tian’s eyes as he traces the dips and crevices in Mo’s cheeks, his forehead, his ears.
“I know it’s early, Momo, but I didn’t ever let myself imagine we could have this. Now that you kissed me, I—it feels wrong not to say this. I want you to know that I love you, so so much. I’ve always loved you, my little chilli pepper…” he smiled softly at this, and Mo felt like the ground was opening up beneath him. “....and I know I sometimes piss you off, that I’ve made mistakes with us before, but the last few days have felt like lifetimes. They made me realize that I would do anything for you, that you’re my everything. I know confessing that I’m in love with you so early must be a lot, but please don’t be scared away—”
He was silenced by the sound of a half-choked sob as Mo shoved himself into Tian’s chest, wrapping him into a bear-hug.
“S-sh-shut up you idiot,” he sniffled, voice wobbling. “You think I don’t know you love me? I do, okay? You’re not exactly subtle.”
Tian huffed a laugh at the jab, knowing that Mo was only resorting to his typical snark because he was struggling with his own words. Tian hummed and kissed the top of Mo’s hair as the redhead mulled over his confession. He began to sway slightly as he held Mo, petting his hair and letting him cry quietly into his shoulder—releasing all the pent up anger, frustration, and love that had pushed him to his limit.
Once his tears dried, Tian released Mo, tilting his chin up so they could lock eyes. “I’m gonna go ask your mom if I can sleep on the living room couch. I won’t go anywhere, okay? I’m gonna be right outside your door when you wake up tomorrow, hm?” He pressed a sweet kiss to Mo’s lips, as if to seal a promise between them, or to assure himself that this was indeed real.
Mo stared at Tian for a few beats before reaching forward to twist a hand into the bottom of his shirt. “Don’t,” he murmured, without elaborating. Tian smiled softly, immediately understanding what was being asked of him. Expressing emotions through words always came with difficulty for Guan Shan, and Tian was quickly learning that touch seemed to be his preferred way of conveying affection. He was about to open his mouth to ask if he should stay, but Mo beat him to it, leaning his head against Tian’s shoulder and whispering, “stay with me….please,” And that was the last straw for Tian. He and Mo were both exhausted from fighting a harrowing battle against She Li, and so hearing his Momo sounding frail and weak made him want to collapse. Instead, he tightened his hold on the boy in his arms, leading him to the bed. Tian lifted the covers, lying Mo down on the mattress before rummaging through the dresser drawers for clothes they could sleep in, separate from the blood, sweat and grime coating their current attire.
Mo grumbled sleepily as He Tian peeled off his shirt and pants, replacing them with a fresh pair. He did the same for himself, content to be sleeping in clothes that smelled like the boy he so desperately loved. As he slid himself into the bed beside Mo, bringing his arms around the redhead’s waist, Tian kissed his forehead, mumbling a faint “goodnight, Mo. I love you, okay? don’t forget it.” before feeling a pair of arms snake around his shoulders. Mo tilted his head up to press their lips together, before burying his face in Tian’s neck. And if it weren’t for the exhaustion driving his senses towards sleep, he would’ve sworn he heard Guanshan whisper an affectionate ‘I love you too, dumbass.’