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A few weeks after Weyoun 6’s arrival on the station, Garak resolved to ‘visit’ his quarters while he was away. He was not inclined to trust the vorta, and suspected him of being a spy. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d spied on a spy who was also spying on him, back in his spying days when he was a spy.
The man had a very strict routine, so it wasn’t hard to know when he’d be out. He always took his break to play Dabo at the exact same time. Really, it was like he was asking to have his room invaded.
Once no-one was passing by, Garak walked normally down the hallway of the habitat ring to Weyoun’s room and ducked in. The password had just been ‘Weyoun’. Apparently Vorta didn’t often fear espionage at home.
Immediately he noticed the rows and rows of shelves on the far wall.
On closer inspection, these shelves held many curios from other races. They were organised by species, unlabelled, but it was obvious enough which species each belonged to. He seemed to like jewellery for some reason.
Garak soon reached the Cardassian section, which was mostly filled with his stuff (which he’d been looking for and threatened a few people over). The little kleptomaniac had taken three of the exact same laser loom, some decorative pins Garak wore at formal occasions, an expensive scanning headset, a price tag from his store (???) and an earpiece.
Weyoun also had in his possession some... items... that Garak KNEW didn’t belong to him. He had Julian for that. They were displayed so innocently among the other things, like Weyoun didn’t know what they were. He was 95% sure who they did belong to, though.
He took a minute to imagine Dukat’s face upon realising they’d been taken, and tried not to laugh.
Garak was just debating whether to take his stuff back and possibly get reported for ‘theft’ of his own goods, when he noticed that Weyoun also had three of his scales.
Weyoun 5 must have gotten them when he lived in our quarters. Why would he keep them?
He considered multiple theories, including the possibility that Weyoun had wanted to create a sleeper agent clone of him to infiltrate the station. It had been done before by other societies. However, regretfully Garak’s social mobility wasn’t nearly as much as it had been in the past, so such a clone would also be confined to the station. There would also be the matter of removing the real Garak, which was unlikely to succeed. Unless he WAS the clone and all his memories had been implanted... in which case this line of thought was pointless because his life had not materially changed. He should just continue to live it out until his sleeper agent activation occurred.
Garak started combing the shelves to see if anyone else’s missing things were here.
He found Miles’ wedding ring (which he took back, in order to prevent Miles’ death), one of Sisko’s baseball caps (no surprise there, Weyoun had worn it around the station once), a Black Hole glass from Quark’s and an earring of Kira’s...
Is he running an underground museum? What is this?
Dabo tokens, more dabo tokens, one of Worf’s daggers, a tooth sharpener...
Sticky notes.
There were sticky notes there that he and Julian had left for each other around their room. They still did it sometimes, but these were from before they’d been driven off the station.
Garak didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want it getting out that he was secretly a romantic, nobody would take him seriously.
Then he found something worse.
The man had an entire journal on Garak and Julian. He’d been taking notes on nearly every slightly romantic moment between them. Journal entries intricately detailing their courtship went back for months, starting since the first time Weyoun had ever been here. Apparently Morn had been the one to point it out. Garak made another murder plan... just in case.
Weyoun had also read far too much into a few completely normal discussions. Though given how long Garak had crushed on Julian before he’d noticed, Weyoun was probably right to do so.
For some reason he was relieved to find that there were files on other people, and Weyoun’s creepiness wasn’t reserved specifically for him and Julian. There was one for Worf and Jadzia, which he’d closed and then added entries about Ezri. There was a series on Quark and the people he flirted with against their will, one on Rom and Leeta, a few about Jake and his various Bajoran girlfriends, and a rather large one on Odo and Kira. He tried to resist the urge to snoop, but from what he saw of the summaries Weyoun did make some interesting points.
And then, unbelievably, it got even worse.
He’d written about himself. Getting in a relationship. With Dukat.
Apparently, it had started when he tried out a few gestures he’d seen used by two Cardassian ‘friends’ as a greeting. Unknown to Weyoun at that time, these friends were actually a couple, a very affectionate one.
To his credit, he appeared to have realised his error later on, and for some reason given them their own file despite theirs not being an ‘inter-species’ relationship. Garak suspected he had been looking for dating tips. He shuddered.
It was like watching a disaster unfold. Garak couldn’t look away. He opened the file, certain he would regret it.
Weyoun, after realising he had accidentally made a romantic gesture, had decided to pursue a relationship. Apparently Dukat had been thoroughly confused by the whole thing, before leaning into it like some sort of game. Garak couldn’t tell if Weyoun had actually had feelings or was just fascinated by being in a relationship. Nonetheless, he seemed to have tried very hard.
Garak reached his breaking point when he encountered Weyoun’s attempt at poetry. He’d tried to do it in Cardassian, but the grammar was quite off, the cadence was nonexistent, and some of the word choices were... interesting. And there was so much about impressive shoulders and shapely hands.
Garak fled the room. He couldn’t finish it. It was too strange. But he would never be free of the nightmares.