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Subaru rubbed her burning cheeks as she sat expectantly in her room. She had already cleared off the desk which normally sat against the wall opposite her bed, and moved it besides the large, floor to ceiling windows of the room, looking out onto the evening lights of Costuul’s industrious cityscape.
She was — of course — waiting for someone.
It was now three months since the battle against the whale, and the brief yet tumultuous events of Sanctuary, a series of events that frankly even by her own insane standards were truly ‘out there’.
While she was away, facing off against Petelgeuse with Julius, Rem, in Crush’s caravan had encountered an entirely different sort of challenge. Their caravan was ambushed by a pair of Archbishops of Sin, each on par with the destructive potential of Petelgeuse himself, if not above! Only…
Only the battle did not last long, nor did it result in Crush and Rem’s defeat, as by their own admission, it should have been certain. Instead, amidst the chaos, the Archbishops, one of whom, Greed, acted as a passive observer, and the other who practically slobbered at the mouth as he butchered Crusch’s soldiers, Gluttony, they were both… Distracted.
Distracted by the sudden, inexplicable appearance of a door, standing between them.
By Rem and Crusch’s account, curiosity had gotten the better of the one who’d identify himself as the Archbishop of Greed, he opened the door, and found… A restaurant.
No, Subaru could never quite figure out what they meant by this, how it was possible, or what kind of restaurant it really would have been, at least not first hand. The reason for this, was that apparently they were invited inside by the owner, something that “Gluttony” could not resist.
As neither Crusch nor Rem would be insane enough to follow the Archbishops, everything past this point is confused and jumbled in the retelling Subaru was aware of, but suffice to say, the insanity of the Arcbishops was not limited to Sloth, as Gluttony soon found himself in battle against a horned demon, a black dragon goddess, a wizard and a samurai… Subaru could never decide if that sounded more like a classic Final Fantasy battle lineup or the start of a bad joke.
In any case, the only one to return through the door — even if “return” was not quite right — and in turn the one to share these jumbled details, was not either of the Archbishops, but a young, dangly, curly haired ginger man in chef’s uniform, who apparently attempted to rush for the first available door to escape the mayhem, without realizing which one he picked, only for the magic door to shatter behind him from a blast.
Perhaps this was the universe’s way of telling Subaru that she could have had it worse on her initial arrival, especially given the circumstances making this poor chef’s life an even greater misery—
Knock, knock, knock!
Jolting, Subaru shook her head and returned to the moment. Quickly assessing her surroundings, she confirmed the flat desk before her was nicely set with dining cloth, and brushed off her casual clothes, before hopping to the door, opening it.
“ Arhi-gâteau. ” came the attempted polite thanks, as the deeply nervous looking your chef, still wearing his ever-present white toque on his head walked in, rolling before himself a small trolley, with two metal domes over plates, and two sets of utensils set on it.
The poor chef still had great trouble trying to communicate properly, something Subaru couldn’t blame him for.
While his count of having been in the company of dragons, demons, wizard and samurai seemed too outlandish for this, amazingly, he too had been brought to this world from modern day Japan… Except he himself was not Japanese, merely a tourist on a sort of career motivated tour of the world.
Because of this, having been separated from his friend and translator, the poor chef, Alfredo Linguini had found himself utterly cut off from this new world around him. That is, at least, until Subaru found him, sobbing and shaking in a dark corner of Crusch’s estate, on her half of the expedition’s retreat to the capital.
While Subaru by no means at all would have said she spoke French, she had listened to enough french music, saw enough films and tv shows in her time, to instantly recognize the bizarrely dressed young man’s desperate pleas which were not even aimed at her at the time anymore as French, rather than insane ramblings which others had assumed.
Fortunately, just at the time, Subaru had the perfect man with her, brought back as a minor hero, having helped defeat Sloth.
The same man who now awkwardly waddled into the room behind Linguini.
“Thanks for having me.” Otto Suwen hummed with a grim and embarrassed look on his face sheepishly, dressed in his usual garb.
Naturally, he was a necessity here, due to the Divine Protection he now perhaps regretted revealing for Linguini’s benefit, against his better judgment: The ability to understand and speak the language of any creature, which apparently included the French.
It all seemed so… Perfect, Subaru thought, as she blushingly made way for a similarly flushed Linguini by the desk, so the food can be prepared.
Subaru had thought so long that every trial thrown at her was a fresh new nightmare, a perfect storm of impossibilities which she could just barely escape by the skin of her teeth. Whether it was trained assassins, curse spreading hellhounds, flying whales, or Archbishops of the closest thing this world had to the devil, things always found a way to go wrong in fresh, new, nearly inconceivable ways… Until that door.
Closing out the group behind Linguini and Otto, one last person walked in, bowing politely with a gentle smile as she did, it was Rem that finally closed the door after stepping inside.
The same absurd event that stranded Linguini here, had most certainly saved both her life and Crusch’s. Subaru could still remember her heart beating in her chest manically, as she saw the bloodstains left on the highway, and as their caravan raced to the capital to find out what had happened.
By both women’s count, their lives would have been certainly forfeit to the Archbishops Subaru had never even known, the Archbishops Subaru would never have had a chance to prepare for, after her checkpoint had already updated to mere hours before their attack, next to the fallen tree, in the middle of nowhere.
It was only the disaster that landed Linguini here that assured Subaru hadn’t lost her dearest, most beloved friend who had allowed her to retain her sanity through the past trials. And it was only Subaru having encountered the one man with the ability to understand any language, that Linguini could have any hope of normalcy in this world.
It was… Perfect, was it not?
As if to close the book on her horrific trials, Linguini’s arrival saved her, as she managed to save him. She had thought herself above such things, but now… Now she could not help but feel that their meeting was fated. Especially after everything else.
“ Excusez-moi pour la maladresse. C'est incroyablement embarrassant pour moi. ” Linguini mumbled quickly, his cheeks visibly burning as one of the plates wobbled in his hand, only to be saved by one of his bizarre out of nowhere body movements that Subaru had grown accustomed to seeing by now.
“Otto?” Subaru asked, her voice cracking slightly with excitement, the ash-haired merchant simply frowning and shaking his head.
“He was just apologizing for nearly dropping the plate.” Otto noted, rubbing his forehead.
Having been talked into full time employment as part of Emilia’s camp, with a great deal of freedom economic matters and a high salary, Otto Suwen really shouldn’t have had any right to complain, but Subaru decided to overlook his clear disdain for the position he would constantly find himself in: The position of translator between Subaru and Linguini.
Sadly, given that extended use of his abilities, at least when speaking the language of others was a great physical strain on Otto, Subaru and Linguini had only ever been able to exchange a few sentences over the past three months, and even then, given how bashful and embarrassed Linguini tended to be, the words were usually simple and awkward. It wasn’t until yesterday, when finally Linguini asked if they could arrange a dinner tonight to talk about a certain… Tension between the two of them.
That dinner being the one he was placing on the table right now.
The one that had left Subaru much more embarrassed than rationally she’d have ever expected being only a few months ago.
Really, it didn’t make too much sense!
She was saved from an explosion by Reinhard, consoled in her greatest yet darkest moment of relief by Julius, and her heart had been cornered more than once by Rem, not to mention the first and last of them aiding her together in short order after the defeat of Sloth, as upon their return to the manor, Rem would warn Subaru that Roswaal’s absence and her sister’s instructions to deliver Felt to Sanctuary felt far too suspicious.
Calling upon the Sword Saint, and leaving Emilia and Felt at the manor, Subaru, Rem and Reinhard would quick discover that Roswaal had arranged some sort of insane plot to trap Emilia amidst a group of demi-humans, so she’d be forced to face cruel trials and through them somehow build fame for the Royal Selection? Worse, after Roswaal had realized the complete failure of her plans, in her mad ramblings she had revealed details hinting that even the attack on the manor was something she had foreseen and simply allowed to happen, risking hundreds of lives!
It was only through Reinhard’s overwhelming strength, Rem’s pleas to her sister and facing the trials in Emilia’s stead, that a relatively quick happy ending could be reached.
Surrounded by such exceptional people, exceptional people she truly cared about, and embroiled in lifetimes’ worth of adventure beyond normal people’s wildest imaginings, surely— Surely it would make no sense, that Subaru’s heart would be moved of all things by a strange, frankly not very attractive, spindly french chef with a big, bulbous nose, who had practically fallen out of the sky, right?
Right?
“ Mlle Natsuki ? Est-ce que tout va bien ? ”
“Ah, uhm—!” Subaru huffed quickly, her mind racing as it hadn’t in a long time.
“He’s asking if everything’s alright, Natsuki-san.” Otto frowned
“Yes, yes!” Subaru answered with a wide smile. “It’s just… A bit embarrassing, preparing for a private dinner with two extra people here.”
Turning to Linguini, Otto quickly translated: “ Elle dit qu'elle est juste embarrassée. Elle était souvent silencieuse comme ça pendant l'expédition. Natsuki-san est juste embarrassée car ‘il y a deux personnes de plus ici pour le dîner privé’. ”
Wincing a bit, Otto rubbed the side of his head just by her eye. Forcing himself to make complex sentences often had that effect.
“ Trois personnes de plus. ” Linguini sighed as he placed the second plate on his end of the desk, while Rem, stepping closer, placed the utensils by Subaru’s plate.
“Hm?” Subaru turned to Otto to interpret the comment.
“It was nothing important.” Otto replied, visibly discomforted.
Subaru simply stared at the chef as he adjusted the plates, still covered under metallic domes. She was frankly unable to make heads or tails of her feelings. In no way did she feel herself attracted to the clumsy man, he wasn’t handsome, she couldn’t make heads or tails out of his words, and his voice sounded stupid, but…
But…
There was something else about him.
Subaru had done her best to not allow the events of three months ago, those harrowing weeks of facing the Whale and Sloth tarnish her life. While Roswaal’s obvious arrest after the events of Sanctuary did shake up things quite a bit, under House Milde’s care, Emilia’s candidacy continued, and as such, Subaru herself could return to the life she had come to enjoy. The simple life of a butler… Mostly.
The move to Costuul, that embarrassing knighting ceremony she somehow allowed Reinhard to talk her into, on account of her role in taking down to major threats, Felt’s departure to pursue her own candidacy’s needs, Ram’s slightly creepy loyalty to Roswaal after everything else, asking of Emilia to arrange for the once Marquess’s house arrest… It wasn’t quite perfect. There was plenty of things to swirl in her mind, even without her involuntary moments of dark recollections.
But, every time those flashes of dread would come, somehow, some way beyond her own understanding, the chef would be there, to lighten her day.
Though they couldn’t talk without Otto’s aid — as Otto remained the only known person in the world who could understand Linguini — the chef would always simply appear with something when Subaru’s mind began to drift.
When she was resting in the garden below the kitchens, only to find herself trembling, images of Irlam soaked in blood haunting her mind; the chef would suddenly be there, offering a parfait with that embarrassed expression. At first she wasn’t in the mood, but as she took a spoonful out of politeness, its sublime texture cleared her mind, and calmed her soul.
As they were preparing for an important dinner one day, the new Marquess Milde, inviting a number of nobles open-minded enough to sit with Emilia and consider offering their support, Subaru made a mess of cutting vegetables. Halfway through slicing potatoes, her nerves flared, and the sensation of using a not too dissimilar knife to stab a then presumed to be dead Petelgeuse in the chest over and over again returned to her. Though in her panic she completely butchered the effort, as Rem was about to throw away the ruined potatoes after giving Subaru a warm embrace, the chef stepped in. Instead of throwing the potatoes away, he simply gave an uncertain stutter, before beginning to slice the even bits of the potato into cute little shapes. Letting Subaru in on his idea, he salvaged her mistake into a novel little concept, presenting the nobles that day with lightly fried potato animals. While not the most regal, Emilia’s embarrassed gush over the small surprise on everyone’s table humanized her more to the nobles more than any speech could have.
In general, while their time together was greatly limited, while always in small ways, she could tell the chef had always kept an eye on her, reading her, sensing when the confidence she had to maintain for everyone’s sake slipped, and found a way to reassure her, aid her with those little touches within his power to give.
For someone lost in another world, practically deaf and mute to those around him… To offer her such concern and attention was…
“ Et voilà. ” Linguini noted with a small, exasperated sigh, as he finished setting the table, though a moment later Rem quickly leant in and adjusted Subaru’s — still covered — plate, so the handle of the dome perfectly aligned horizontally.
“It’s beautiful!” Subaru exclaimed lightly, feeling even more embarrassed as Rem’s hair gently tickled her nose on the way up.
After Rem’s confessions, both the one the maid remembered, and the one in the cave that had now never happened, Subaru felt awful enough, letting her heart flutter for someone she barely even knows this way. Still… Rem seemed to smile.
She clearly understood the implications of Linguini inviting Subaru to a dinner, and yet, Rem seemed happy. Happy for Subaru. Of course, Subaru was not disappointed, but still, it was surprising. And, actually, reassuring.
“We, uh.” Subaru hummed, looking at Rem and Otto, more conscious than ever that, of course, they didn’t have dishes. Rem, obviously not, she probably only came along to help serve, but perhaps it would have been appropriate to prepare a dish for Otto, since, well, he’ll need to stay here if they’re to talk. It was after all, just Linguini’s dish opposite hers, sitting there, before the frenchman, who was now awkwardly drumming his fingers on the backseat of his chair. “Let’s uh, just eat then, right?” Subaru exclaimed finally, her face flushed from looking at him.
This wasn’t like her, at least Subaru didn’t think so. She thought she’d surely be more forward with someone she cared about, after all, she didn’t have this much trouble with Re—... The obvious difference of having only really being open with her feelings with the other important people in her life after having died over and over and over again, having far greater things to occupy her anxieties dawned on her as she plopped herself down in her seat.
Rem, stepping behind Subaru gently pushed her in, and Subaru could feel the maid’s slender fingers on her shoulder, Rem’s hair brushing against her own as the oni whispered only this:
“Even if it feels strange and a little scary right now, or might feel even more so later, Subaru-kun can relax. All Subaru-kun needs to do is be honest with her feelings.”
A shudder ran down Subaru’s spine, as Linguini shot a clueless look at Otto, who in turn frowned at Rem, not that Subaru thought too hard on it. Rem herself didn’t seem to mind or answer the frown in any way, just smiled serenely for herself, and stepping beside the desk, grabbed the handle of the metal dome over Subaru’s dish, without even waiting for Linguini to take his seat.
The rich, sublime, savory aroma struck Subaru’s nose. Quite spicy, she could smell it from the first whiff, and the heat of it exciting the nerves in her nose brought a pleasant wave of warmth that ran behind her cheeks, to her nape, and down her spine. The inviting orange surface before her, topped with a touch of whipped cream in the middle, and a little greenery was already a perfect meal, before a drop of the soup had even touched her lips! Something about it carried a momentary nostalgia she couldn’t place, until she remembered having discussed through Otto once, while planning a dinner, the food that she had tried years ago at a western cuisine restaurant. Only her strange chef could make something like this!
Her fingers shuddered, as she instinctively raised her hand, reaching for the spoon set beside the dish, before realizing that the man who invited her here was still not sitting.
“Uh, sorry, maybe there’s a French tradition I don’t know.” Subaru blushed. “Shall we eat?” she asked, gesturing at Linguini’s side of the desk, and the similar metal dome over their dish… Just then did she first notice that they seemed to forget linguini’s utensils! “Oh, wait, Rem I think you forgot a spoon?”
Rem didn’t move a muscle, just continued to smile and shook her head gently, standing close to Subaru, as Otto turned to Linguini:
“ Elle se demande pourquoi tu ne t'assieds pas. ”
“ Ah... ! Oui... C'est le moment, je suppose. ” Linguini answered hesitantly, only glancing at Subaru before taking a deep breath that caught in his throat for a moment and started a cough.
“Is something wrong?” Subaru asked looking, now quite confused, at Otto and Rem.
It was Otto’s turn to simply shake his head, while Rem gently placed a hand on Subaru’s shoulder and quietly said:
“Linguini-san is simply a little nervous. Please give him a moment.”
Subaru remembered when Rem was briefly at Linguini’s throat after they moved here. She was never sure why Rem acted so hostile towards him, but one day it simply stopped, and since then… Well, she’s been awfully understanding.
“ C'est bon, c'est bon ! ” Linguini coughed, shaking his head, as his fingers arched painfully, palm pressed against the back of his seat. Closing his eyes and wrinkling his large, bulbous, still quite unattractive nose, he just began to quickly mutter to himself. “Ç a ne devrait pas être si difficile. Contrairement à Colette, je n'ai rien à voir avec tout ça ! Pourquoi as-tu planifié ça si maladroitement, petit chef ? ”
As Subaru turned to Otto helplessly, the ash haired merchant simply said: “He’s gathering his thought.”
Loudly blowing air from his mouth Linguini exhaled then inhaled one more time before declaring: “ Bien ! Ok ! Faisons-le alors ! ”
With a sudden motion, Linguini reached forward, and lifted the metal dome before him, and revealed…
A teacup.
A fancy, porcelain teacup, with a very wide and flat design, a teaspoon laying next to it… Filled with a much, much, much smaller serving of the same soup that was sitting before Subaru.
She blinked, staring at the teacup in place of the plate she was expecting, then looked up at Linguini, dumbfounded, and lost.
“I… You’re not hungry, or…?” Subaru trailed, clueless as to what this bizarre display meant.
Why would Linguini serve himself a teacup of soup? No one can make that kind of mistake so what on earth was going on?
“ Ehm... Comment dire... Je ne suis pas celui avec qui tu vas dîner. ” Linguini spoke awkwardly, as he reached up, and gently lifted his toque off of his head.
“Otto?” Subaru asked, helplessly.
“He’s…” Otto began hesitantly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He’s saying, he’s not the one you’re here to have dinner with.”
There was something strangely embarrassed in the way Otto explained it, mixed with his tired tone. It felt like a stone was sinking in her guts, as Subaru looked around the room for help to decipher this strange scene. It felt like all three of them were in on some secret only she didn’t understand. But why would they be acting so weird?!
“Well, what’s that supposed to mean?” Subaru asked, turning from side to side, staring to feel anxious, like she missed an obvious social que. “Rem?”
The maid blushed, and her smile widened for a moment, but then she just shook her head gently, and turned to Linguini, who looked back at her his expression helpless, but then shifting into a touch of annoyance.
“ Ok, donc… ” he began, shooting a look at Otto who just nodded, then Linguini turned his attention back at Subaru. “ Je pense que nous sommes tous d'accord pour dire que le monde est plein de choses étranges, qui ne correspondent généralement pas à ce que les gens ont été élevés pour croire, n'est-ce pas ? ”
As Linguini spoke, Otto began to translate: “We both know there are strange things in the world, things that are not the way people were raised to believe they are, right?”
“ Je veux dire sur Terre. ”
“I mean back on ‘ Terre ’. Whatever that is?” Otto noted.
‘Earth.’ Subaru’s mind instantly jumped. Of course she know ‘Terra’ was another name for Earth, Terre had to be French.
“ Non pas que je sache ce que les gens croient au Japon, je sais que vous avez des kami et des choses comme ça… ”
“Not that I know what people believe in ‘ Japon ’, I know you have things like kami there.” Otto translated raising his eyebrows in surprise. “You do?”
“Keep to what he’s saying, Otto.” Subaru frowned.
Linguini — still holding his chef’s toque in his hands before himself awkwardly — continued with a sigh:
“ Je ne suis pas du tout dans mon élément ici. ”
“I’m out of my element here.” Otto translated.
Subaru felt she was awfully out of her element when she arrived too. Hell, she continued to be out of her element practically the whole time she was here, and discounting all the dying and the Witch giving her Back in Time , she had it much easier, at least speaking the local language, and having a headstart on the written word too, given some of its similarities to kana.
“It’s alright.” Subaru smiled, trying to reach a hand out over the desk, though she could only reach half-way across. “I don’t get this teacup thing, and I think Otto might have mistranslated something at the start, but I know this world’s scary, you don’t have to be embarrassed.”
Subaru was reminded now, of how they’ve been quietly waiting for news of Greed and Gluttony, ever since Linguini’s arrival. The chef’s only hope of getting back to Earth, which, frankly, was also Subaru’s only hope in that regard, was that perhaps that door that stranded him here, or its replacement would reappear somewhere. Ever since then, Subaru tried not to think too much about it, but there hung a certain dread over her, as to what she’ll do if that door appears again. Would she return to Earth? The other side of that door opened into a small restaurant in Japan. She could go home, tell her parents she’s alright… But then she wouldn’t be sure she could come back here, and the last thing she would want, is to abandon her friends here.
Was… Was that what this was all somehow about? Linguini trying to convince her to go home with him? Was the small cup and large bowl of soup some sort of bizarre, fanciful french allegory for how Earth is a bigger place than this flatworld they found themselves on?
“ Elle n'a absolument aucune idée de ce dont tu parles. ” Otto said to Linguini simply with a frown.
“ Je comprends... Je suppose que tout ce que je peux faire alors est ceci. ” Linguini sighed, and put his toque down on the table, just next to the small teacup, and then with a sharp breath, lifted the tall, white toque up revealing…
Revealing…
A small, fuzzy, gray…
Rat.
“Rat.” Subaru said, blinking at the well-behaved rodent, which simply sat there on its two hind legs, staring at her. “It’s a…” Subaru spoke hesitantly, before looking up at Linguini. “Your pet is… Cute?”
The rat began to give out little squeaking noises, while Linguini just stood behind it silently, wringing his toque in his hand.
“He’s flattered, though he understands you probably didn’t mean it that way.”
Subaru blinked.
“Linguini didn’t say anything, Otto.” she noted, looking to the merchant, who had now put on a discomforted smile.
At the same time, Subaru felt Rem’s hand once again gently rest on her shoulder, the rat continuing to squeak, as it scurried an inch closer, stopping right between the teacup and the teaspoon.
“He understands you’re confused, but he’d like to ask you to look at him.” Otto noted.
Subaru blinked once again, looking at Otto, who gestured awkwardly down at the rat.
“Remy. The rat.” Otto clarified.
Click.
A torrent of bizarre thoughts ran through Subaru’s mind, as suddenly a lot of things she couldn’t make sense of before, and which didn’t pay too much attention to the first time around in the first place started to flood in.
Linguini was always so apologetically embarrassed, every time he did something nice for Subaru, like he didn’t actually intend to, or—
Wait. No. Rat.
How the hell is she supposed to make peace with that?!
“What the hell are we even talking about?!” Subaru burst, beginning to stand up, only to feel Rem’s hand gently push her back down by the shoulder. “I-I-I-I—! No, seriously, I don’t get it! Was that r— Remy under the hat this whole time?! And if he was, what does that even mean?! Wh—?! Wh—?! Am I crazy? Am I going crazy?”
As Subaru raved in a moment of complete and utter flabbergasted confusion, the rat seemed to sit back and stare at her with an odd amount of intelligence, before turning around, scurrying before Linguini, and pulling on his apron which touched the edge of the desk. In response, after a moment of hesitation, Linguini picked him up, put him on his head, without the toque and… Struck a bizarre pose, the rat holding onto his hair.
“ Remy, le petit chef, est avec moi depuis quelques années maintenant. ” Linguini began, striking different poses, oddly in sync with the rat reaching around and pulling different parts of his scalp. “ Franchement, je ne connais que les bases de la cuisine, je n'ai aucun talent. Toute ma carrière, il m'a contrôlé par les cheveux, et... Et... D'après Otto, maintenant qu'on a enfin pu avoir une vraie conversation, il est amoureux de toi. ”
Subaru could only stare in stunned silence at the display, before glancing at Otto.
“What he’s trying to explain,” Otto began. “Is that he and Remy have been partners for a while, Remy being a genius chef, inspite of… Well, the obvious, and he… Fell in love with Natsuki-san.”
She could feel her head shake involuntarily, as she tried to process the information.
“The rat… Is in love with me?” Subaru uttered, clueless as to how she was feeling.
The absurdity of it all was too much for it to be possible to lock down into a single emotion. The closest she could describe it was… Floaty?
“Remy.” she could hear Rem correct her, as the maid gently squeezed her shoulder.
“Remy.” Subaru noted, feeling a little choked. “I don’t…” Suddenly, it hit her. “Wait, why are neither of you surprised?!” she demanded, looking to Rem and Otto both, Rem’s face flushing with embarrassment, which was quite rare.
“Natsuki-san, I think you’re more than aware of my Divine Protection by now.” Otto hummed disapprovingly. “Obviously, I knew almost as soon as I met Linguini-san.”
“ And you didn’t tell me that there was a talking rat?! ” Subaru thundered.
“ Natsuki-san. ” Otto noted. For once forcefully. “First, evidently he’s not actually talking, in a human tongue. Second, creature talks, even insects and spirits. Third, how exactly would I even go about explaining that there is a rat communicating in an unusually human-like way, who’s somehow consensually controlling a man from another world by means I don’t think even Divine Protections can explain?! And fourth, though it’s really not my business, I’d like to point out I haven’t been translating anything Natsuki-san said to Remy-san, despite him reacting.”
Subaru was caught off guard by the sudden retort, and turned to the rat, still sitting atop Linguini’s head.
“What Otto means is… You understand me?” Subaru asked.
The rat pulled on a lock of Linguini’s head, to which the frenchman’s hand rose before his scalp, and the rat jumped on it, Linguini lowering it down to the table, where the rat simply scurried back to his teacup, sat down, looked up at Subaru and nodded.
“Even though I’m…” Subaru paushed, caught off guard by the stupidity of the very question she was about to ask. “I was going to say ‘even though I speak Japanese’, but it’s not like it would make more sense for you to understand French.”
Otto shrugged off to the side. “I would assume he has a Divine Protection akin to mine, but he said he had no idea what one was when I asked.”
Snapping back to it, Subaru suddenly turned to her opposite side, looking up at Rem.
“And for how long did you know?!” she demanded.
Yelping gently, the maid pulled her neck in a little bit, her cheeks obviously burning.
“How long have you kept this from me?!” Subaru demanded again, furrowing her brows, though it wasn’t like she could be genuinely mad at the maid. She had to assume there was a good reason.
“Subaru-kun remembers when Rem was a little… Harsh with Linguini-kun?” Rem asked awkwardly.
“Yes.”
“Rem was… Rem had assumed Linguini-kun had… Indecent intents with Subaru-kun, on account of how he kept approaching Subaru-kun with culinary gifts, so one day Rem, she… Perhaps overreacted a little bit, and asked…”
“Oh no, you dragged him into a room and tried to interrogate him didn’t you?” Subaru frowned, to which Rem yelped up in a panic.
“ Rem never did anything like that before, how would Subaru-kun know?! ”
Not in the mood to invite the Witch to this bizarre meeting, Subaru elected not to attempt explaining that indeed Rem did show her ability at interrogation once before.
“Nevermind.” Subaru hummed. “I guess you just didn’t want me to know you bullied the poor man.”
“Well, yes.” Rem hummed sadly, twiddling her thumbs, before adding: “But, it was also that once Otto-san arrived, and helped clear things up… The way Remy-san was talking about Subaru-kun… Rem wanted to make sure Remy-san would have the chance to introduce himself as he wished.”
A cold shiver ran down Subaru’s back, and her attention finally went back to the opposite of an elephant in the room… Was that correct? She was thinking that elephants are scared of rodents, but that might have been something Disney invented for Dumbo. She would have no way to be sure.
“So…” Subaru muttered hesitantly. “I… I don’t even know what I’m doing, but… Hi? My name is Natsuki Subaru.” she noted, tentatively reaching her hand out towards the rat, as perhaps the final test to see if this was just some elaborate prank… Though, the more she looked at them, the more… It made sense.
There was something unusual, and captivating in the inexplicably gentle and intelligent gaze of the rodent before her.
As she reached towards it, Remy hesitated for a moment, before scurrying forward to close the distance, and then carefully rached out both his little arms, and grabbed one of her fingertips, giving it a little ticklish shake, before sitting back, and beginning to squeak.
“He’s introducing himself as Remy.” Otto noted, before clearing his throat, and beginning to translate directly. “I understand that this is a really awkward situation for you, and frankly, I feel a little bad putting you in it, but I had a lot of things I wanted to say to you for a long, long time.” Otto spoke.
Swallowing, Subaru leaned a little forward, looking down at Remy on the table, as the rat seemed to embarrassedly rub his little forelegs together.
“I… I guess I wouldn’t mind us having a talk?” Subaru noted, carefully, to which the small rat’s expression seemed to light up, something Subaru didn’t think she’d ever recognize on a rodent.
As the rat squeaked once again, Otto began to translate:
“I don’t think I can really explain, but ever since I was small, I always wanted to be a chef. Obviously, my family wouldn’t support it, but there was something magical about it, that I never felt anyone else quite understand.” Otto spoke on Remy’s behalf, as the rat squeaked on the table, throwing in a gesture here and there. “Even after a cavalcade of incredible events, that ended with Linguini and I starting our own restaurant in Paris, I felt like no one quite ‘got’ the beauty of it all the same way I saw it, and while I don’t think that changed, I… I saw something else, when we were all preparing food together.”
Her cheeks beginning to burn with embarrassment as the rodent on the table locked eyes with her, apparently pouring out his heart, in the company of three others.
“Y-you did?” Subaru asked, not sure if she felt captivated at all by the rat’s message, or simply caught in the pressure of the situation.
“It was how you were preparing desserts for the small girl.” Otto continued translating, his own cheeks turning slowly beet red. “I was always so caught up in preparing the ‘perfect’ meal, and keeping an eye out for another great chef I’d love to work with, I almost lost sight of something I already knew: That the true beauty of cooking, is to make something for others to enjoy.”
Feeling flushed, Subaru bit on her lips. Indeed, preparing new deserts for Beatrice to try was one of the old traditions she indulged herself in fully. After all, in many ways, Beatrice saved her, and really, even without that, she couldn’t stand to see that annoying but sweet little spirit be locked up in her library all the time.
“I don’t think there was too much special about those deserts.” she smirked humbly, to which the rat shook its head.
“It wasn’t about the deserts being amazing. It was in your eyes, and the sheer effort you put in, just to make her something special every time, as well as the way in which you watched her eat. I don’t know what it was exactly, but as strange as it may sound…” here, Otto paused, the rat seeming to laugh with a set of squeaks, gesturing all around. “As strange as this all is, I saw in your passion there, something I didn’t know I was missing. And not just the cooking either!”
The rat here scurried closer, and sat down within arms reach of Subaru.
“The music you play for everyone, the way you always try to make sure everyone’s having a good time… It’s hard to put into words, even knowing Otto will have to be the one to make the actual words you hear, but still… I… I admire deeply the passion you show, in doing your best, and it reminded me of what got me started in the first place, which had almost become commonplace by now.” Otto finished, before Remy squeaked up again and Otto added: “Everything about you, has helped put the magic back into the thing I love, and I am deeply grateful.”
Her lips quivering, Subaru felt a strange tug in her chest.
Before now, she was dreadfully aware of how she didn’t find Linguini attractive in the least, and yet her heart was aflutter at this meeting… Now she began to understand why.
She wasn’t attracted to Linguini, because indeed, Linguini had very little to do with the things that actually captivated her. Somehow, in ways she couldn’t begin to make sense of, this rat, this humble rodent was in truth the one always watching her, and thinking of ways to cheer her up.
What’s more, even as Otto translated, Subaru’s mind was working double shifts, as it had to learn to do over the past months since her arrival in this world. She was trying to weave a narrative, make sense of the creature before her, and a deep, deep familiarity slowly rested down on her soul.
Remy had to live his life in secret.
Truly, if anything else was the case, Subaru would have heard about it. Linguini was from Earth, most certainly from Earth, and yet, Subaru never heard of a rat chef. If they came public with it back home, there was absolutely no way it wouldn’t have made massive international news…
So they didn’t.
This gentle, humble little rodent had spent his life, toiling away in silence, doing what he felt passionate about, working in secret at a restaurant with Linguini, never able to reveal to the world the most fundamental aspect of himself, his brilliance, for surely, the consequences would have been the most dire…
She… Subaru had found herself in a similar situation as well. The Witch’s curse, the failed loops… There was so much she wished she could share with the world. She couldn’t begin to imagine what relief it would have been, if she could reveal her condition to someone like Julius or Reinhard. Perhaps something truly dreadful was looming over the horizon, perhaps they could help avert it… Or perhaps, they would simply be killed by the Witch, or worse, her best efforts would paint everyone’s perspective of her sanguine…
Tossed into another world, cursed with an existence that is largely beyond others’ understanding, well beyond one’s ability to truly express, come, in just the place, just the time, just the way that his misfortune saved Subaru from an impossible challenge…
Species be damned, they…
They…
As Subaru came to her senses, she felt her cheeks wet with happy tears, petting Remy down the back of his head, which he seemed to enjoy.
Her feelings didn’t make sense, his existence didn’t make sense, this whole world made absolutely no sense, and yet…
It felt right.
She couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of relationship a human could have with a rat, but she was something far beyond flattered, at his words, his thoughts, his gentle actons, and as a creature that had to suffer untold misunderstanding and exercise immense restraint, she wanted to be there for Remy.
She didn’t know if it could work, how it would work, or what it even was that would work, but right now, just sitting here, an absolutely brilliant soup slowly going cold under her chin, she could only feel: ‘Let’s give this a chance.’
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Subaru had long since asked Linguini, Rem and Otto to leave.
Perhaps keeping Otto here would have made sense, but for now, not sure exactly what they were even doing, she thought it would better to stop any further embarrassment, and just enjoy each other’s company for this dinner.
The soup, of course, was brilliant. While she had never known it was Remy behind it all, Subaru had known of his genius for months now. She really, really wasn’t cut out to be a knight, but… If she could continue in her current role, pick up a few knightly skills for insurance, but spend the rest of her life here, with Emilia, Rem, the occasional visit with Felt, and learning the culinary secrets of this impossible little chef, that would be a life just perfect for her.
Remy too, was nearly finished with the soup, which he was eating out of his teacup with the teaspoon with surprising dexterity, though obviously it was tough for him to get to the bottom.
Smirking, Subaru reached forward, picked up the cup, and tilted it, Remy getting the idea right away, and drinking from it with her help.
Yes.
This would be—
Creak.
Her attention and Remy’s both switch to the bathroom door, behind which obviously no one could be, but which’s handle turned just then… And the door slowly creeped open, and a shrill voice began to speak in a dull voice.
“ As you can see by test door A-113’s design, it’s likely a high class estate. At this time in the afternoon, residents are most certainly out and about, entertaining guests or traveling. You must make such considerations before you test a door and begin to document the bedroom’s likely inhabitant and their psychological— ”
As the door opened completely, the voice stopped.
It had belonged to a bizarre, bent and misshapen creature, with green scales, who stood on three tentacles, had a bulbous, vaguely rectangular body with a large, toothy maw crowned with purple hair and three long slug-like tendrils reaching out from the top with beady eyes at the end.
Behind them, there was at least six other creatures, entirely beyond description or comprehension.
All of these things were wearing bright, orange vests in different shapes and sizes.
The creatures stared at Subaru, who was still holding the cup to the rat’s mouth, while Subaru and Remy silently stared back, both groups utterly frozen.
Then the screaming started.