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He saw it happen; it wasn’t his fault—not anyone’s fault, really, but the twist in his partner’s ankle and the deafening sound of a body hitting ice—all he could do was stop in his tracks, gesture for the music to stop and rush over to her.
“Fuck—” Buck heard Harper mutter under her breath, clasping her hands at her ankle. “God fucking damnit.”
“Calm down, Harper.” Buck crouched down, staying away far enough so he could swing his legs from underneath his body and land on the ice—on his ass, but it was the only way to get down fast enough—with a thud. He slid over closer, making sure his skates were nowhere in the vicinity of her body. “You’ll be fine.”
“I might be fine—fuck, shit—” She grabbed at her ankle again, “but there’s no way this is going to heal before the championship.”
“Don’t worry about the stupid club championship, let’s just get you off the ice and to a doctor.” Buck waved at someone in the main stand, who already had a shocked expression on their face. He shaped his fingers into a phoning gesture, hoping the person would get the hint and call someone that could get them off the ice—911, for all he cared.
“You should’ve heard her fall, dude.” Buck spoke over the phone, walking home from what might as well be his worst nightmare. “The music was blaring, but I think I still heard her ankle crack.”
“What are you going to do now?” Eddie’s voice sounded over the speaker. Buck winced, as the sound stung through his earphones, but he wouldn’t be able to hear him otherwise.
Eddie had been his best friend for three years, bonding after having the same skating teacher for a year and a half. Figure skating has always been a big part of Buck’s life, the one thing more important than that had become Eddie. There were only two things in his life he knew would always be a standing presence; his best friend, and the ice.
Now, he wasn’t sure about the last thing for the next few months.
“I don’t know, man.” He sighed and pinched the space right above his eyebrows with his thumb and pointer finger. “It’s not like I can do the routine by myself, I need a partner; and you know I don’t have one for the time being.”
“You know , you’ve shown me that routine so many times, I’m sure I could do it in my sleep.”
“Eddie, I appreciate your willingness to help, really,” He took his eyes off his phone for a second, to make a right turn into a street. “but I don’t think I’m ready to throw my best friend—who is a man, mind you—into the air and spin him around. It’s already difficult enough when it’s a woman, let alone a muscular man one inch shorter than me.”
“Harper is muscular.”
“Yeah, and five inches shorter than me.” Buck insisted, “oh, right, and she’s professionally trained to do this type of routine.”
“Are you saying I’m not professionally trained? Buck, we skate at the same rink.”
“Yeah, you’re professionally trained, to skate with a female partner, not to put your life into some man’s hands and hope he catches you.”
“You’re not ‘some man’ , you're my best friend, and an experienced skater.” The line went silent for a second, then Eddie spoke again. “Look, I know how much this championship means to you, what’s the damage in trying?”
Buck sighed, then; “Fine, why not.” He turned into another street. “But if I drop you, it won’t be me who’s to blame.”
Eddie laughed, and Buck could never get enough of that sound filling his ears. It was a crazy idea, really, but Eddie’s laugh calmed him a little.
“You won’t drop me.”
“Hi, Harper.” The next day, Buck let himself into Harper’s apartment, mind on checking in on how she’s doing after the rough fall she had the day before.
“Buck!” Her voice lit up, her head popping up from behind the couch, where her leg was raised on some cushions. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you, you don’t know how incredibly boring it is out here.”
“I brought you a piece of cake.” Buck raised the bag, with a big bakery logo on the front of it, that he held in his hands. “It’s chocolate.”
“How’d you know that was my favourite?” She pulled herself up a little and almost snatched the bag out of his hands. “You are the most amazing friend I could’ve ever wished for.”
Buck had already made his way over to the kitchen, grabbing some forks out of Harper’s cutlery drawer. “How’s the ankle feeling?”
“Feeling very broken,” She glanced at the bandage with a sad gleam washing over her eyes. “I am so sorry.”
“What? No, don’t be sorry, it really wasn’t your fault. Plus, you’re the one hurt.” Buck sat next to her on the couch, making sure to not sit in the way of the cushions raising Harper’s foot. “Also, I got someone to fall in for you.”
“In such short notice? Really? That has to be someone that already knows the routine, who is it?”
“Eddie.”
“You’re not serious,” She jabbed her fork into the piece of cake Buck had shoved in her hands. “He’s a dude. And a dude you’re madly in love with.”
“I am not— he’s not—” he put his own fork down. “I do not have a crush on my best friend.”
Harper dramatically put her hand over her heart. “I thought I was your best friend. Also, you totally do have a crush on him.”
“He’s my friend .”
“Sure, yeah.” She put a piece of cake into her mouth and swallowed it almost the same second. “Man, I’m hungry— have you even asked Isabella?”
Isabella was their teacher, the person who had put the routine together with their input. She could be harsh on them, but with the right intentions in mind. She had been more than shocked when Buck proposed the idea of doing his routine with a male figure skater, but once he explained it was Eddie who he would do it with, she had opened up to it.
“She’s actually really into the idea.”
“Wow, I mean— is that even allowed? In duos? Being a dude and having a male partner?”
“Well, since it’s a club championship and not some world grand prix, Isabella assumed it would be fine. She’s asking the organisers, though.”
Harper nodded, then burst out into laughter. “Have you even told Eddie what song our routine is to.”
“I assume he knows, he said he memorised the routine.”
“Yeah, by watching us do it with earphones in, idiot.”
“Oh my god.”
Buck: by the way ,,
Eddie: oh fuck no, that’s never a good way to start a message Buck
Buck: the routine is to paradise by coldplay
Eddie: ARE YOU SERIOUS
Buck: yep..
Eddie: Isabella and her fucking song choices
Eddie: you know she made me skate to viva la Vida once
Buck: that’s better than I’m blue..
Eddie: THAT I’m blue?? Like?? Da be dee da be da blue??
Buck: da be dee da be fucking die
Buck: anyways
Buck: I thought you knew about the song Isabella chose for us
Eddie: i had no idea, i only ever saw you practise without music
Buck: you’re in for a wild ride dude
Eddie had been figure skating for years, multiple partners and various years of doing solo routines. He’s experienced, he knows almost everything there is to know about the art of gliding on the ice without miraculously going down. Somehow, along the way, he did forget how close he had to be to his partner sometimes.
Never had it been a problem to him, skating was his job and being intimately close during a routine was part of it. Though now, when Buck was holding his hand and carefully instructing him through every part of the song he’d already memorised every step to, he couldn’t help but think he was too close.
“Can you start paying attention again?” Buck let go of his hand and stood completely still. “If you ever wanna get to that jump today we have to get through this, fast. ”
“I thought— I thought we already went over all the jumps.”
“Jumps on your own, yes, but did you forget about the—” Buck gestured something with his hand that Eddie didn’t quite understand.
“The what?”
“I’m supposed to, well—with lack of a better word—throw you into the air. You do a couple spins, land on your right like with a normal jump.”
The colour faded out of Eddie’s face. “I— I completely forgot about that part.”
“We can ask Isabella to take it out, but it’s a great point grabber.” Buck used the toe pick on his skate to play around in the ice, loosening some of it and trying to flatten it with the side of his skate. “Harper says it’s not even that difficult. Plus, if you fall it’ll feel like falling after a usual jump; nothing you haven’t been through.”
“And tell me again, exactly how did Harper end up after you guys practised this routine?”
“You know she didn’t fall after that move.”
“I do recall you telling me about the sound of her ankle snapping out of place . I’d rather not go through that, nor would I like to be catapulted into the air and then accidentally hit you in the nose with my skate. Can you even do that? I don’t suppose I weigh less than Harper.”
“Did you forget I can deadlift like two hundred and fifty pounds?” Buck stopped picking into the ice that had now turned into a safety hazard, really. “Look— we can try , and if you end up hitting me in the face, we’ll replace the sequence, okay?”
“If I end up hitting you in the face, you’ll join Harper.”
“Just trust me .”
“I trust you, I just really don’t want to hurt you.”
“Come on,” Buck reached out his hand, finally taking his toe pick out of the ice. “Nothing can go wrong, I’ve done this a million times.”
“Right, fine,” Eddie took his hand, finally getting his legs to move again, “tell me what to do.”
“After the turn, you turn to me, do like five backwards crossovers, I hold your waist, make speed and throw you up! You land on your right leg like you would after almost any jump.” Buck started skating back to the place in the rink they left off after their last sequence, guiding Eddie with him. “Harper was usually far enough into the air to do a triple spin, I don’t know what you’re up to, but we’ll see.”
Buck must’ve seen the worry on Eddie’s face, because his next words were: “It’s safer and easier than, I don’t know, an axel. I promise you, nothing can happen.”
“You’re so lucky I trust you.”
Buck laughed, “we might even become closer after this, you putting your life into my hands and all.”
“ My life?”
“Calm down, I was joking, you’ll be fine.”
They got back into position, “let’s just do a few laps, let me know when you’re ready to try it.”
Eddie really did trust Buck with his life. It’s a weird feeling, and during these moments he really couldn’t just shake it off. Though he wasn’t really putting his life on the line, it still calmed him to know that Buck will make sure he’s safe.
Buck made him feel safe.
They did a few laps; Eddie did backwards crossovers, his hand holding onto Buck’s, while Buck skated forward in the most elegant way he knew how to.
That’s another thing, this was supposed to look elegant on the day of competition. Eddie knew for sure that he looked more like he was going to wet his pants, instead of looking weightless and confident.
He nodded, anyway, signalling that he’s ready to try what he’s been looking up against for the past few minutes.
Two more crossovers, when Buck pulled him in by the waist, pulled him backwards a little bit, gained speed and pushed him up into the air. Eddie could pull off three spins, before he landed on his right leg. His knee seemed like it’d give in, wobbling as he tried to contain his balance. Then, he stretched out his leg, widened out his arms and put his left foot onto the ice.
Buck was right, it did feel like a normal jump.
“You did it!” Buck couldn’t contain his smile, immediately skating to the place where Eddie landed. “I told you you could do it.”
“Barely.” Eddie stopped skating, his legs still a bit numb from attempting something that stressful.
“You didn’t even fall. You know, Harper fell like three times when we were first told to do that.”
“What comes after the jump?”
“Some footwork, which we’ve already gone over, you already knew the sequence anyway, and then we get into our ending positions. We’re basically ready to do it to music.”
“Can we take a break first?”
Buck smiled.
Buck smiled and suddenly Eddie’s legs didn’t feel numb anymore, his heart beat faster for a different reason than the fact that he was just thrown into the air like it was nothing. Buck’s smile faded away all his worries, adding different ones that Eddie would rather not deal with today.
Buck skated a little closer to him and slapped him on the shoulder. “Let’s get something to eat, my feet hurt.”
Eddie picked at his pants, the texture being close to something he’d be wearing in his nightmares. “Fucking ice skate uniforms.”
Buck looked down at his own pants. “Tell me something I don’t know.” Then, he looked up at Eddie, the worried expression not missing him. “Calm down, Eddie, it’s just friends and family in those bleachers.”
“Yeah, and judges.”
“Who will love the routine, hell, we might even get points for being men.”
“I don’t think it works like that.”
Buck put one hand on Eddie’s shoulder, but Eddie pulled him into a hug anyway, wrapping his arms around his lower back.
Saying Eddie felt stressed would’ve been an understatement. It’s not like he was scared of people in the stands, not even of the judges; it’s more that he didn’t want to let Buck down. Buck had worked so hard with Harper, then worked so hard to explain and practise the routine with Eddie, and Eddie was terrified. Terrified of seeing a sad expression on Buck’s face, terrified of having to console Buck as someone else won the championship.
It wasn’t important, but it was important to Buck—
“You know this doesn’t matter to me, right?” Buck hovered his hand up and down Eddie’s back. “I’d love winning, but it doesn’t matter if we don’t.”
Eddie sighed, ready to open his mouth and thank Buck, say he was going to try to win anyway, when—
“Eddie? Buck? You guys are up.”
Buck had never felt as much of a rush while skating as he did while skating with Eddie. The music overwhelmed his ears, and he’d missed at least one move and had badly landed a jump, too, but it didn’t matter to him.
All that mattered to him was right there, skating next to him, gliding over the ice majestically despite having no prior experience taking on that role in couple’s skating.
The jump Eddie had been so terrified to try was coming up, and Buck felt weak in his arms.
They pulled it off, though, Eddie landing on his right foot without wobbling or over-bending. He looked nice while doing it too, not showing off his nerves or the fact that he had only done it a few times before. He looked perfect, really.
They flew through the last footwork sequence, skating towards their ending position. Buck quickly wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist and threw his other hand into the air.
The music stopped, the crowd roared in applause and the judges turned to each other to exchange words about the routine.
Eddie was so close to Buck, it made his blood boil, his heart thump against his veins hurrying to get the blood to his brain before he does something stupid. Most partners, they hug in celebration of their routine done well, no injuries or mistakes. But Eddie—
“Can I kiss you?”
Buck was still holding him, one hand on his waist and the other one in the air. He smiled, and let out a wheezy laugh, still catching his breath. “I’m pretty sure they’d deduct points for that.”
“I don’t care.”
Before he could breath out a protest, Eddie’s hand was on his cheek and his lips were on his mouth.
Kissing Eddie felt exactly like what he’d held himself from imagining during all those years of friendship. He tasted like denial, but more than that he tasted like trust.
Trust in him, and in everyone around him. Eddie tasted like celebration, and happiness.
Eddie tasted—and felt—like trust.
Someone in the audience whistled, startling them into letting go of each other. “Get off the ice, idiots!”
Harper .
Buck laughed, his hand never slithering away from Eddie’s waist. “I hate saying this, but man am I happy she broke her ankle.”