“Leonard, I’m fine. It’s just a fractured ankle.” I ground out. He was complicating this so much more than necessary.
“Yeah, and one of these times it’s not going to be just a pulled muscle or a concussion. Or even a broken bone. One of these times I’m not going to be able to help you.” He was getting increasingly frustrated, I could tell.
“I can handle myself, you know that. And if I can’t? Its what I signed up for when I joined Starfleet. You know that as well as I do. It’s better to loose one person or get one person injured than the entire team, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that I may not come back one day.” I spat, standing up off of the bio bed which had started beeping rapidly when my heart rate increased from the argument. I tried to hide the limp in my step.
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something then snapped it shut. For the best. I didn’t feel like arguing anymore.
I hadn’t even gotten what I came there for, I had intended to wait it out and allow my ankle to heal naturally, but we had just arrived at another planet, and I knew I was going to be needed for another away mission soon.
I walked as briskly as I could to my quarters, the door sliding shut behind me, trying to calm myself down. I combed a hand through my hair, sitting down on the sofa with my head in my hands. I took a deep breath, trying not to pound my fists on something in frustration.
He was my friend, I knew he cared about me, but he was just so damn overbearing sometimes. Especially when I got hurt on a mission. Why couldn’t he just treat me like Jim? I never saw him arguing with Jim about getting injured, no matter how many times a week he came into medbay with some broken bone or something for the stupidest reason. Never. So why did he get so worked up with me?
My comm buzzed, and I let out a frustrated sigh before answering it. “What’s up?”
“Lieutenant. We’re going to need you on a mission in a few hours, think you’re up for it?” Kirk.
“Yeah, sure. What’s going on down there?” We’d just arrived at a planet with plant specimens that were supposed to be able to treat some kind of disease that a few of the crew had contracted. Of course, the planet had its fair share of nasty things, but we just needed a few samples. A quick in and out mission.
“We just need a security officer with the lab crew, there’s some natives down there that are rumored to be pretty unfriendly to tourists. You know, the works. There shouldn’t be any in the surrounding areas where the team is to be beamed down but better safe than sorry.”
“Yep. Alright. How long do I have?”
“14 ‘o clock.” It was 10:34 right now. Shit.
“Alright, yeah I’ll be there.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
“Probably gonna need it.” I muttered as I hung up the comm. Two hours of sleep, give or take, and a semi-busted, half healed ankle. Great.
If we were lucky, and if what Kirk said was right, we wouldn’t run into any of the natives. They had primitive, but nasty weapons from what I had heard, the last thing I needed was to have to go to med bay with yet another injury from an away mission.
No, I intended not to go back there for awhile. At least, not when McCoy was on duty.
Spock and a few other scientists were on the team, as well as one other security officer and someone from medbay who I honestly didn’t know. I kept an eye out but once it was clear we were the only ones in the area, I wandered ahead of everyone else, hoping to find something the least bit interesting. Compared to the other planets I had visited, this had to be one of the most boring. The plants and even insects were very similar to Earth.
Limping ahead a bit further, not hiding it now that I was alone, I stumbled on what I assume was a tree root and hissed as something sharp and unforgiving pierced into my side. “Fuck.”
Pushing myself up I clutched my arm to my abdomen, trying to assess the damage by feeling alone. This was not going to work.
Propping myself up against the tree, I peeled my shirt away from the injury and winced at the sight, tugging my shirt back down. At least the red would be able to hide it for some time, hopefully long enough for us to get back to the Enterprise.
I leaned against the tree for a bit falling in and out of sleep, which I knew wasn’t exactly the best idea but between the bloodloss from the injury and the two hours I had managed earlier, I was beat.
I started drifting out again when my comm sounded. It was Spock. “Lieutenant. We are ready to return to the Enterprise.” I groaned and fumbled for my comm.
“I’m on my way back. Did you get the samples you needed?”
“Yes. We have the flora samples.”
“Great. I’ll be right there.”
I grunted, pulling myself to my feet. Maybe it was worse than I thought. It had also just occurred to me that I had no clue exactly what bacteria or anything was on this planet. God knows what was in my wound now, but I’d be damned to hell if I was going to go to med bay unless I was on my deathbed. Even then, I’d have to really think about it.
I made it back to the team, stumbling a bit as I entered the clearing. “Lieutenant? Are you alright?”
“Just peachy.” Spock quirked an eyebrow at me. “Fine, I tripped on a tree root on the way here. Just winded.” I just wanted to get back to my quarters so I could properly clean the wound on my side and ease my worries of picking up some disease from the alien planet.
Of course if anything had gotten into the wound it would be in my bloodstream by now anyways. Reassuring, positive thoughts.
I let out a sigh of relief as we got into position and I felt the familiar tingle of the teleporter.
As soon as I felt the solid-ness of the Enterprise below my feet, I made a run for it to my quarters.
“Everything alright?” Scotty inquired.
“Yep just tired, Scotty. Barely went to sleep when my comm went off."
"Get some rest lass.”
“Yeah will do. Thanks.” I gave him a tight smile. I could see he didn’t quite believe me, but I’d be damned if i was going to admit it. He’d haul me down to medbay himself.
I briskly made my way back to my quarters. As I stepped inside, I wondered if my side had hurt that much before or if it was somehow getting worse.
Either way, medbay wasn’t an option at the moment. I was adamant about that.
I stumbled into the bathroom, clutching my side. I inhaled sharply as I peeled my top away from the wound. It was soaked with blood and I was lucky, for once, that I was a red shirt.
Assessing the injury, it was worse than i thought. I had fallen on a jagged rock and it pierced my side, leaving a ragged and debris filled gash in my side. I let out a shaky breath. I wasn’t sure if i could deal with something this serious. I could stitch a wound, sure, but not with ragged edges like this. Where did I even begin?
The area around it had started bruising and it already looked nasty.
Sucking in another shaky breath, I ignored the metallic smell of blood in the air and painfully took my top the rest of the way off.
Stepping into the shower, I turned the water on with the lowest pressure possible but still let out a low whine when it hit the injury. This hurt like hell.
I let the running water rinse the blood away, watching as the water that ran down the drain slowly became clearer. As soon as it turned clear, I stepped out and wrapped an old towel around my middle. I knew it was going to be soiled after this.
I stumbled over to the counter and pulled a well-stocked medkit out from the cupboard.
I pulled out a bottle of alcohol and a roll of gauze. I grimaced, knowing what I had to do next. Bracing myself against the countertop, I uncapped the bottle and took in a few steady breaths, preparing myself.
As soon as the alcohol hit the open wound, I let out a strangled gasp of pain. All I could see or feel was white hot pain and I felt my legs give out beneath me.
I let cried out as I connected with the hard floor, I lay there for a moment, unable to do anything but pull in ragged gasps of air.
Slowly, I began to push myself up off of the floor, mindful of the dots that started to cloud my vision again.
Grabbing onto the edge of the counter, I heaved myself up, leaving heavily against it.
I grabbed a swath of gauze, pressing it against the gash as I took another roll and began sloppily wrapping it around my abdomen. My movements were becoming shaky and uncoordinated as the seconds ticked by. I had to sit down soon or I was going to collapse, this was most definitely worse than I thought.
I stumbled out of the bathroom back into my main quarters’ bedroom. I changed into clean, looser clothes. I sighed in relief when my body hit the mattress, and allowed the darkness to creep in and encompass me.
I awoke to find I had slept through the rest of the day, and through the entire night, and now I had half an hour until my shift.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and hastily stood up, only to stumble and unceremoniously flop back down onto the mattress. “Fuck.” I hissed. I had completely forgotten about that. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. A small laugh escaped my throat as i thought about what mccoy would say about “sleeping on a concussion”.
I stood up more carefully this time, making my way over the the bathroom. I lifted my shirt up and started to unwind the bandages from around my middle, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from letting out any pained noises. Not that I had to, I was the only one in my quarters, I had just gotten used to it.
My entire right side was bruised, and the skin immediately around the gash was an angry red. It was warm and undeniably infected. I almost threw up at the sight. This was not good. “Nothing I can’t handle.” I muttered to myself, reaching for the other roll of gauze I had left on the countertop.
I hesitated, about to grab the alcohol as well but not wanting to have a repeat of yesterday fifteen minutes before my shift at engineering.
I wrapped my abdomen, more neatly this time, and headed off to engineering with the most brisk pace I could manage.
“Hey lass, you’re lookin’ a little pale today.”
“I’m fine.” Scotty didn’t look very convinced, but surprisingly left me alone anyway.
As I worked on fixing up and replacing some simple wiring, I could feel myself getting more and more exhausted. And wasn’t it getting increasingly warm in here? It was uncomfortably warm now but nobody else seemed to even break a sweat. I wiped sweat from my brow with the hem of my shirt and tried to focus on fiddling with the wiring.
I hunched over as I twisted the wrong way and a wave of pain washed through me. I grunted. I was vaguely aware of Scotty’s voice in the distance. I desperately tried to focus on that and soon it became louder.
“Hey!” He was snapping his fingers in front of my face. “I can’t have one of my crew collapsing in the middle of engineering. Ye could get hurt.”
“Scotty I’m fine I-”
“No buts. Yer goin to medbay.”
“No wait I-” He gave me a stern glare. “I’m laying ye off for the rest of the day, and yer not coming back in here til I get word from medbay that you’re alright.” He put his hands on my arms. “Just wanna make sure yer okay lass.”
“I know.” I mumbled. “I appreciate it.” I turned away from him, heading out of engineering. “Shit.” I muttered.
If he lets McCoy know I’m screwed.
At least I could get some rest. I’d barely been keeping my eyes open there.
As soon as I entered my quarters, I let out a sigh of mixed relief and frustration and collapsed onto the couch. I shivered, pulling a throw over me as I allowed my eyelids to droop shut and succumbed to much needed sleep.
I woke, frantically kicking the blankets off. My skin felt like it was on fire, no, my entire body felt like it was burning. My chest was tight as I gasped for breath. Panic filled me.
Still in my uniform, I stumbled out of my quarters, desperately hoping I could make it to medbay before I collapsed. I felt hotter and hotter, it almost hurt at this point. Blackness was closing in on the edges of my vision. I took a wrong step, falling forward onto the hard hallway floor. The blackness seized the opportunity and rushed into my vision. I coughed, drawing in more hoarse breaths before all my senses were drowned out completely.
“Damnit.” McCoy hung up his comm. He hadn’t heard from them since their argument. He would never admit it, but he was worried sick.
He had asked Jim, and Jim hadn’t heard from then either. He had told McCoy to speak to Spock. “Spock? Why Spock?” He had asked.
“They went on an away mission with him and a few others a couple of days ago. They were getting plant samples for the illness going around? I thought you knew.”
“Of course I knew that Jim! I’m the one that made the damn vaccine out of those samples. I didn’t know they were on the expedition though!”
“Bones listen don’t freak out-”
“I haven’t heard from them in five days, and I’ve just now found out they’ve been on an away mission with an injury? Like hell I’m not going to freak out!” He’d hung up his comm.
Which is how he’d ended up down in the science labs, questioning Spock on the whereabouts of the Lieutenant he cared so much about.
“I have not seen them since we parted ways after the away mission.”
“Damn it!” McCoy was on the verge of pulling his hair out. They hadn’t answered their door a few hours ago when he’d rang, and he had seriously considered using his medical override. He had promised them he never would, not unless it was absolutely necessary. It was an invasion of their privacy, and he understood that.
But right now, this was absolutely necessary. Nobody on the entire ship had heard from them since that cursed away mission days ago. They could be dead for all he knew. He tried not to think about that.
He all but ran down the hallway to their quarters, pushing down the ever growing worry forming in the pit of his stomach, when he rounded the corner and saw a crumpled form in the hallway.
His chest tightened. His heart stopped.
He rushed over to the form, kneeling down beside them.
“No. No no no god damnit.” Their breathing was ragged. He desperately shook them awake, not knowing what was wrong with them. He felt blood on their red shirt. It was soaked.
I heard a familiar voice, and I forced my eyes open. My breath was coming in short, sharp pants as I struggled to right myself.
“Shhh. Stay down darlin’. I’ve got you.”
“Leonard?” I mumbled.
“That’s me. Now stay awake for me, you got that?” My eyes were already drifting shut again. I shivered. I was cold.
He was so warm, I allowed myself to sink further into his chest as he briskly walked down the hallway.
“No, no don’t do that sweetheart. Keep those eyes open. We’re almost there.”
I heard the quiet hissing of the medbay doors and soon I was out of his arms and on a biobed. I started shivering again, I missed his warmth.
My eyes started drifting shut again, but this time he didn’t try to wake me. I felt the cool metal of a hypo against my neck as he pet my hair. I was out like a light.
I awoke to a quiet, insistent beeping.
Cracking my eyes open little by little, I saw a very tense McCoy watching my vitals on the screen. His gaze darted over to my face, then back to the screen, then quickly back to my face.
“You’re awake.” The tone in which he said it told be everything I needed to know. The infection had been bad- very, very bad. He was afraid I wouldn’t make it.
“I’m sorry-” I started, propping myself onto my elbows.
“Lie back down.” He gently pushed me back down onto the mattress. “Don’t worry about that right now.”
“You had me real scared there sweetheart.” His voice was strained with exhaustion.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t even-”
“You were unded for three days. The first 42 hours you were incredibly unstable. The chances of you pulling through were slim to none. I thought I had lost you.”
“Bones-”
“Why didn’t you come to see me? Hell, it didn’t have to be me. It could’ve been M'Benga. I wouldn’t care. You sustained an injury-a terrible one at that-on an alien planet with god knows what bacteria and other microorganisms on it, and you didn’t even think to tell anyone? What the hell were you thinking?” Oh man. He was pissed.
“Look you were already pissed at me about the sprained ankle thing, I didn’t want you to chew my ass about this too. I thought I had it under control-”
“Until you didn’t.” He said flatly. “Look, I’ll admit, I went over the top with that one. You had me worried and I was already stretched thin. I shouldn’t have took that out on you. But you struck a cord there too. I can’t imagine loosing you.” He sighed, intertwining his fingers with mine. I gripped his hand tightly, not sure what exactly this meant.
“It’s okay Leonard. I’m here.” I whispered.
“You very well couldn’t be here now.” He pulling his hand away, running it through his hair.
Lying here and watching him, the tension in his shoulders, the clear worry written all over him. Then thinking, thinking about how I was so close to dying, how I wouldn’t have been able to tell him what I had wanted to.
Maybe it was the high I was getting off of the painkillers being pumped into my system, but it had given me the confidence to make this decision. I was going to chance it, lay all my cards on the table for him to see.
“I love you Leonard.” I mumbled. I wasn’t even sure he heard it until I saw his shoulders tense up.
I immediately backpedeled, “I know you’re not ready for something like that and I know we’re both just best friends, I can accept that, this doesn’t have to change anything between us I just-” He tenderly intertwined our fingers again.
“I love you too darlin’. That’s why I couldn’t imagine loosin’ you.” My breath caught in my throat.
“Can I have a hug?” I asked sheepishly.
A small smile made its way onto his face. “Of course.” Mindful of my injuries, he leaned over and gently wrapped his arms around me, I squeezed him as hard as I could, not wanting to let go. I heard him sigh.
He pulled away, after a few moments, kissing my forehead. “No more hidin’ injuries from now on alright? You come to me with everything and anything and I’ll make it all better.”
I leaned forward to hug him again, breathing in his scent. “Of course.” I mumbled into his shoulder. “Thank you.”