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Janine loved holidays. She loved any excuse to celebrate anything, no matter how trivial the day seemed to others. And fortunately, Janine’s occupation as an elementary school teacher supported this personality trait, as most second graders were not yet cynical enough to scoff at minor holidays like some of her colleagues.
For instance, today was February 14th - Valentine’s Day. While she had heard many dismiss this as a “Hallmark holiday,” Janine always had fond memories of Valentine’s Day. As a kid it was all about chocolates and finding the paper valentines at the store that best matched your interests for that year (Janine’s personal favorite in memory: dolphin valentines, in third grade). Then in high school she was dating Tariq, and it always felt special to get a box of chocolates or a card from him, or even sometimes a small bouquet of flowers. It made her feel chosen as a teenager, when so many others in her life didn’t choose her. In more recent years, the annual gift of chocolates was replaced by the gift of a freestyle rap about their relationship, which often veered off into spitting bars about whatever commercial popped up on their TV at the time. But all the same, Janine had never really had a bad Valentine’s Day.
The curious thing about a big breakup though, was that even though the split was over and done with, the pain continued to pop up in new and unexpected ways, even months later. As Janine laid out her outfit for the day - a white blouse, purple shawl, and red skirt with white hearts on it, complete with heart earrings and a heart necklace - she realized that for the first time in ten years, she didn’t have a Valentine. The thought put a strain on her heart and sat on the corners of her mouth, weighing them down to an unfamiliar frown. Rationally, she knew breaking up with Tariq was the right decision, but moments like these still caught her by surprise, and hurt as though they had just broken up yesterday.
Janine looked at herself in the mirror and gave herself a physical shake. “You are a strong, independent teacher,” she told herself out loud in the mirror. She was sure if any of her colleagues caught her performing actual verbal affirmations, they would fall off their chairs laughing, but Janine knew she needed this today. “You love this day, and you don’t need a man to enjoy it. Those kids need you to show up for them, not be a puddle of sadness. So let’s show up, and have a great day!” And putting on her smile just like she put on her heart-laden skirt, she gathered her things and headed out the door.
—----------------------
Gregory was not surprised when Janine showed up to the teacher’s lounge on the morning of February 14th wearing hearts and various shades of magenta – but he was surprised at her demeanor. She did not burst through the door with her mile-wide smile, as he had become accustomed to (and if he was being honest, looked forward to). Instead, she entered quietly and began solemnly making her coffee at the kitchen counter.
Most of the other teachers were already there, but they were all engrossed with their lesson plans or grading. None seemed to notice, as Gregory did, that Janine was not her usual self. But as Gregory pondered what to do with this information, Janine walked over, fresh mug in hand, and took a seat next to him, giving a fleeting smile as she sat down. His heart gave a kick-start. This was nothing new at this point in the school year, but every time Janine moved to take the seat next to him, rather than any other seat in the room, he felt like it could be a good sign.
“Hey, uh…you okay?” he tried asking her quietly, unsure of how to traverse this territory. Did she want to talk? Did she want to be left alone? Would she feel comfortable talking in private? Would she feel comfortable talking to him at all? Should he ask her to take a walk with him? Janine frowned into her coffee.
“Yeah, no…I mean yeah, I’m fine,” she said, clearly not fine. But she looked away from her coffee, and up at him, matching his quiet tone. “It’s just that Valentine’s Day is hitting me harder than I thought it would. Another ‘first’ after the breakup, you know.” Gregory was silent, not knowing how to respond. If he had thought about it more, he would have realized this was the likely culprit of her sadness. And if he had that realization, he may not have prodded her. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Janine about her ex. If he was being honest, Tariq was the main reason why he hadn’t fully pursued Janine yet. Ten years was a very long relationship, and he didn’t blame Janine for needing time to heal.
Gregory must have stayed silent for too long, as Janine started to pep talk herself. “But it’s still gonna be a great day, with the kids passing out their valentines to each other. And I’ve got some candy for them…”
“It’ll be a great day, because the kids have you as their teacher,” Gregory said earnestly. Janine’s face melted into the first real smile he had seen from her all day. His heart raced, a combination of reacting off her smile and wondering if he had said too much. But Jacob, with impeccable timing as always, chose that moment to place himself in between their eye contact so he could get their take on the best Shakespeare sonnets to introduce to his class that day.
The moment was gone, but Gregory knew he’d do anything to keep Janine’s genuine smile on her face.
—----------------------
Getting to talk to Gregory about her troubles, however briefly, definitely helped keep Janine’s morning light. She was lucky that he was always willing to listen when she needed to get something off her chest. The first half of the day was fairly ordinary, dedicated to some necessary lessons in order to keep the class caught up on their math and grammar. But as the day wore on, and the classroom’s Valentine’s activities drew closer, Janine felt her sorrows start to creep in again. She thought she’d get a chance to talk to Gregory at lunch, but he wasn’t in his classroom or the teacher’s lounge. Jacob took advantage of the lunch period to call Zach, Barbara called her husband, and Melissa was either calling the vending machine guy or making another court appearance, so Janine found herself alone with her instant noodles, sinking into sadness.
When her time was up and her noodles were gone, she plastered a smile on her face and made her way back to her classroom.
“Alright friends, time to exchange valentines! Go ahead and get up, come around the room this way, and drop your valentines into each other’s boxes.”
“Miss Teagues, where’s your Valentine’s mailbox?” a student, Nia, approached Janine’s desk and asked.
“Oh, that’s very sweet Nia, but I don’t have one. You can save the cute dolphins for your classmates!”
“Well, I don’t have any dolphins…but I do have this.” From behind her back, Nia produced a large hand-made card, colored with hearts and flowers, and a large “MISS TEAGUES” written on the front. Too flustered to speak, Janine gently took the card from Nia’s hands and opened it. “You’re so nice. I love you!” the card read, in glorious second grader handwriting.
“Nia!” Janine gushed, her hand on her heart. “This is amazing, thank you! And you used the correct form of ‘you’re’! That was so sweet of you to think of me.”
“I have one too!” another student, Travis, piped up.
“Me too!” chimed in others. And suddenly, little hands were dropping large homemade cards on Janine’s desk, all of which said adorable things from “You are my favorite teacher ever!” to “I love your heart skirt!” Janine felt her eyes welling up, and took a deep breath so as not to fully sob in front of her class and scar them forever. How could she have felt sad today when she was surrounded by so much love?
“We made them all during recess, instead of going out to the playground,” Nia explained. “And one more thing Miss Teagues, we got you this!” Nia dashed to the back of the classroom and started pulling something large and heavy from behind a desk.
“Oh my god, Nia, let me help you with that,” said Janine, recognizing the object as a large vase. Janine rushed to Nia’s side, and indeed, the object she was trying to drag out was a glass vase with a beautiful bouquet of colorful flowers. Janine’s heart caught in her throat for a second, thinking of flowers from Tariq in the old days. He always got her roses though, and while roses were traditionally romantic, Janine found them kind of boring. These flowers, on the other hand, were a mix of yellows, whites, purples, pinks, and reds. They were bursting with color, much like Janine’s closet.
“Okay, though I’d love to believe that you all chose to skip recess to make valentines for me and went to the store to buy me a heavy vase of flowers, I don’t buy it. Who put you up to this?”
There were two seconds of silence before someone spoke.
“It was Mr. Eddie!” shouted Kendall, who Janine knew to be a tattletale. “He told us not to say though.” Gregory did all this? Janine thought of him going to the store, looking for flowers that reminded him of her. She thought of him whispering to her class at lunch, asking them if they wanted to skip their playground time and instead make cards and write what they loved about her. Her face started to get hot.
“Mr. Eddie made you a valentine too,” Kendall continued.
“He did?” said Janine, trying not to sound too eager or curious.
“Yeah, he wrote a bunch of words. But then he threw it out! He’s silly.” That sent Janine’s imagination into overdrive, but she quickly reeled it back in, reminding herself that she still had a class to control.
“Well y’all, this was so sweet and totally made my day. I love having each and every one of you as my students. Now let’s continue to pass out our valentines!”
—----------------------
When the last of her students had been picked up for the day, Janine knocked on the front wall of her classroom. She received a swift return knock from the other side of the wall, so she slipped out of her door and into the neighboring classroom.
“Hey,” Janine said, unable to contain her grin.
“Hey,” responded. “It’s good to see you smiling.” And he flashed her a smile of his own.
“Well, you are a big part of this,” Janine said, cheesily pointing to her teeth. “Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers, and for getting my kids to make me valentines. I know it’s silly, but I really needed that today.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gregory said slyly. “Your class bought you flowers? I’m sure they were capable of doing that if they had a trench coat and stood on each other’s shoulders.” Janine and Gregory stared at each other, both smirking. “Who snitched?” Gregory finally asked. “Was it Kendall?”
“Yes, it was Kendall,” Janine laughed.
“I knew it,” said Gregory. “Anyways, your kids are crazy about you. It didn’t take much convincing to get them to write you some love notes.” Janine’s imagination was fueled again. “Crazy about you”? “Love notes”? She wondered if Gregory’s valentine to her had similar connotations. Or maybe she was overthinking it.
“Well, I appreciate it all the same,” said Janine, snapping back to reality. “And I didn’t have much time, but I have a little something for you in return.” She handed over her own hand-made valentine, scribbled on scrap paper while the kids were working on their end-of-the-day activity.
Gregory took the paper. “Gregory, Happy Valentine’s Day,” it said simply. It was signed “Janine” with a heart, and had badly drawn pictures of some sort of animal without legs.
“Are these snakes?” Gregory asked.
“No, those are dolphins!” Janine retorted, laughing. “Dolphins are my favorite, you should be honored!”
“I’d love to be honored, but dolphins have fins. It’s in the name.”
“Those are the fins right there…and that’s not why they’re called dolphins, is it?”
"It could be," Gregory shrugged.
"Well, clearly you have not gotten any better at your drawing interpretations. I'm gonna have to keep helping you." Janine and Gregory bantered as they gathered their things and walked out together. Tease her as he might about the drawings, Gregory’s favorite part of the valentine was undoubtedly the heart that preceded Janine’s name. Maybe he was overthinking it…her skirt, jewelry, and classroom were covered in hearts today, after all. But that heart on that paper was drawn for him, and that fact could make him walk on air for the rest of the day.