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Christmas is something that Simon always looks forward to because it means spending time with his best friend. Every other year since he met Wilhelm, he spends Christmas at Drottningholm Palace with the prince and his family. Sara and his mother always come with him and every year, almost everyone has so much fun. This Christmas will be spent at Drottningholm.
Simon will be spending the day before Christmas Eve until the day after New Year’s in one of the guest bedrooms at the palace. Well, he usually spends the first night in the guest bedroom but then Wille will convince him to sneak into his room and they’ll share his bed.
The Erikssons will attend the Royal Family’s Christmas dinner that they hold at the palace on Christmas Eve, and every high-ranking official in Sweden will be in attendance. Wille and Simon’s families will spend Christmas Day together starting at breakfast. Presents will be opened, Simon will sing something (always per Wille’s request), a private dinner with both families then a Christmas movie marathon in the theatre with snacks and drinks.
This year will be no different – except for the fact that Simon has realized that he has fallen in love with his best friend. He’s always known about his feelings for Wille, but about eight months ago, right as they were graduating from Hillerska, he realized that he has been falling for Wille for years.
The realization that Simon was in love with a literal Prince of Sweden was not taken very well and almost caused a rift in their friendship because Simon tried isolating himself from his best friend. Wille was not very willing to let Simon go so he fought for their friendship, and it when Wille confronted Simon, it was the biggest fight they’ve ever had. All was quickly forgiven as soon as Simon came up with a believable lie about why he was pushing Wille away. Wille and Simon both apologized, hugged it out, and things were back to the way they’d always been. Almost.
So Simon is on his way to the palace with Sara and Linda to spend Christmas and New Year with his best friend. Malin is driving the three of them to the palace in the sleek black car with tinted windows that she always drives. They drive through Stockholm to get to the palace and Simon notices the thin layer of snow that has covered the city. He’s always loved snow. It’s so peaceful and beautiful.
Wille and Erik wait outside the palace for Simon, Sara, and Linda. Simon’s heart jumps out of his chest at the sight of Wille. It’s been a few weeks since Simon’s actually seen his best friend because of their schedules but they’ve talked every day.
The car stops and Simon immediately gets out of the car so he can get to Wille. Wille must have the same idea because as soon as Simon is out of the car, they’re both running toward each other. They collide in the middle with a grunt. Simon laughs and wraps his arms around Wille. “Hi to you too,” Wille breathes out, a hint of laughter in his voice.
“Sorry for almost tackling you,” Simon replies, letting go of Wille and pulling away from the hug. “It’s just been a while since I’ve seen you and I’ve missed you.”
The smile that forms on Wille’s lips makes Simon’s stomach flip. He’s so beautiful, but Simon will probably never tell him that. “It’s only been three weeks since we’ve last seen each other,” he points out.
“Am I not allowed to miss my best friend?” Simon teases.
“No, you’re not,” Wille laughs, continuing the joke. Simon playfully shoves him and grabs his suitcase out of the trunk.
Wille and Erik lead Simon, Sara, and Linda to their temporary bedrooms. Simon gets the same one he always gets, the bedroom right down the hallway from Wille’s room. It’s a small room with a minimalistic design. White curtains, white bedsheets, white walls, fancy chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Simple, bland. Simon isn’t surprised. He’s seen Wille’s bedroom and it doesn’t look much different than this one. It looks identical to this one, just with more pictures.
He unpacks his things, hanging his dressier clothes in the closet and folding his t-shirts and jeans to put them in the drawers by the window. Simon takes a second to look out the window, taking in the pretty view of the gardens that sit right outside the room. He remembers all the times that he and Wille ran around the gardens when they were kids, playing tag or hide and seek. Sometimes even Erik and Sara would join in. Those were simpler times though. When there were no feelings involved.
There have been times when Simon wishes he could go back to those times because he wishes he wasn’t in love with Wille.
A knock on the door brings Simon out of his head. He shakes it slightly to shake off any lingering thoughts before going to answer the door. On the other side stands Wille. Simon has to repress a smile. “You hungry?” Wille questions. “We can go make sandwiches around everyone in the kitchen quickly if you want.”
Simon nods and breathes out, “Yes. I’m starving.” Wille laughs and walks down the hallway. Simon is quick to follow. He skipped breakfast this morning because he waited so last minute to pack for his stay at the palace. It was a bad idea considering the drive to the palace was so long. He very much regrets not eating breakfast.
The palace kitchen is full of cooks preparing food for the Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow night. They’re running around and shouting at each other. One of them, Simon assumes the head chef, approaches Wille. “Prince Wilhelm, we could’ve brought you something to eat,” she replies, bowing her head toward Wille.
“I figured you guys would be busy so I thought we’d come to make sandwiches ourselves,” Wille replies. “Keep doing your thing and ignore us. We’ll be out of your hair in like five minutes.”
The head chef nods her head and goes back to her space. Wille grabs sandwich supplies and they make their sandwiches. In and out in about five minutes before going into the dining room that is attached to the kitchen, sitting beside each other as they eat their sandwiches.
It’s a quiet meal and it’s throwing Simon off because Wille is usually so talkative when Simon’s around. “How are things around here?” Simon questions, needing to end the silence. “Busy?”
“Very,” Wille sighs after he swallows his bite. “Erik’s been doing more appearances while I’ve just been kind of working behind the scenes. You know I don’t do public appearances unless I absolutely have to so I’m okay taking on a little extra work while Erik does more appearances.”
Simon’s almost devastated over the fact that Wille rarely ever does public appearances. He always looks so good when he makes appearances. “How does your mother handle that?” he asks in reply.
Wille shrugs. “I’m almost 20 now so she can’t do a lot,” he tells Simon. “If I can that I don’t want to do an appearance then she can’t force me. Not anymore. Erik tells me about them in case I ever do want to do an appearance but my mother can’t force me anymore. If she’s not happy about it then she doesn’t show it anymore.”
He’s almost proud of Wille for standing up for himself. He knows how much Wille struggled with his anxiety during their Hillerska years and doing speeches and other appearances. “Good for you,” Simon says instead, taking a bite of his sandwich. Wille mumbles something but Simon doesn’t understand what he said. He doesn’t ask.
After lunch, the boys go back to Wille’s bedroom to watch a movie. That’s what happens for the rest of the day until both of them have fallen asleep in Wille’s bed. Nothing too special happens, and Simon is almost relieved.
The next day is hectic. Wille is woken up at six in the morning, which also wakes Simon up. Wille apologizes and then gets changed into his outfit for the day, a suit and tie, before leaving Simon alone in his room. Simon rolls over onto the side of the bed that Wille was sleeping on and buries his face into the pillow, inhaling Wille’s scent. It puts him back to sleep almost immediately.
Simon doesn’t wake up again until ten. The door to Wille’s bedroom opens and Wille himself walks back in. A half sleep Simon stares at him and blinks a few times to make sure he’s not seeing things. “Sorry for waking you up again,” Wille says. “I just needed to grab something from my desk for tonight.”
“It's your room,” Simon yawns. “Stop apologizing. I’m the one that fell asleep in here last night.”
Wille laughs and grabs a document from his desk. “Still, I feel bad for waking you,” he replies. “Breakfast will be served in ten minutes if you want to head down to the dining room we were in yesterday for lunch. I think your mother and sister are down there now.”
He nods and watches Wille walk toward the door. “Wille?” Simon calls before he leaves. His best friend turns back toward him and Simon’s heart races in his chest. “Um, thank you for letting me stay here last night instead of kicking me out.”
“You end up here anyway at some point so I just let the inevitable happen,” Wille replies, smiling. “Go get some food and I’ll see you at some point tonight.” Simon returns the smile and nods. Wille hesitates before leaving and it causes Simon’s heart to almost jump out of his chest.
Simon’s noticed a change in Wille’s behavior. Yesterday he wasn’t very talkative and today, he’s so apologetic when he doesn’t need to be. This doesn’t feel like typical Wille behavior. But Simon shakes it off and goes to the same dining room he and Wille ate lunch in yesterday. His thoughts are running rampant in his head as he walks into the dining room.
Both Linda and Sara are already sitting at the table with food on their plates. Simon sits beside his sister. “Good morning, Simon,” Sara greets him. “You look like you just woke up. Late night in Wille’s room?”
His head snaps in Sara’s direction. “We were up late watching movies,” he quickly says. “I fell asleep in his bed and he woke me up when he needed something out of his room so yeah, I just woke up.”
It’s the truth but Sara looks like she doesn’t believe him. Simon ignores her looks and eats his breakfast.
Movie night last night was amazing. It usually is. They laid in bed with Netflix on Wille’s laptop, which sat between them while they laid in bed. Their heads nearly touched on the pillows while they watched whatever movie was playing. Simon spared an occasional glance at Wille but he didn’t seem to notice.
When someone came to wake Wille up, Simon realized that he had practically wrapped himself around the prince. Wille had to detach himself from Simon just to leave the bed. It’s happened before, where Simon’s woken up and he’s cuddling Wille. This time it just felt so much different because again, Wille hesitated to move.
A very small part of Simon is hoping that maybe Wille has started to feel the same way about him that he feels about Wille. The hopes are very low though.
Simon spends the late morning and early afternoon with his sister and mother before he goes back to his room to get changed for the Christmas Eve dinner that the Royal Family is throwing. He doesn’t have a lot of “fancy” clothes. All he wears is a white button-up tucked into black pants.
He’s staring at himself in the mirror when he feels like something is missing. A tie. All he needs is a tie.
So to get a tie, he quickly runs down to Wille’s room to borrow a tie from him. He grabs a black one and ties it around his neck, looking at himself in Wille’s mirror. He’s more satisfied with how he looks now.
At four, Simon makes his way to the ballroom where the dinner is taking place. He can hear Christmas music coming from the room. He looks around the room for Wille, who spots him first. There’s a smile on his face and a glass of champagne in his hand when he walks up to Simon. “Hey,” he says, eyes on Simon.
“Hi,” Simon replies. “The ballroom looks beautiful.” It’s completely decked out in Christmas decorations. There’s a large decorated and lit-up Christmas tree in the center of the room and the tables are strategically placed around it. Christmas lights are strung up all around the room.
“They’ve been decorating for days,” Wille tells Simon, eyes eventually falling on the tie around his neck. “Hold on, is that my tie?”
Simon looks down and back up very quickly. “Uh, yeah,” he hesitantly says. “I didn’t have one so I’m borrowing one. I can go take it off if-”
“It’s okay,” Wille interrupts. “Um, it looks good on you.”
It looks good on you. Wille can’t just say that. Not to Simon. All the heat in Simon’s body goes up to his cheeks. “Thank you.”
Their eyes meet and Simon is caught off guard by what he finds in Wille’s. They’re soft and full of something similar to love. Simon has to force himself to look away before he does something stupid.
Someone calls Wille’s name and Simon finds himself walking beside his best friend, Wille’s arm hooked with his. “You’re not taking me with you.”
“Listen, if I have to mingle with everyone, so do you,” Wille retorts. “As my best friend, it’s required that you suffer with me so let’s go.”
Simon groans as Wille approaches a middle-aged couple in a suit and dress. He puts on his best smile as Wille makes introductions. This is Simon Eriksson, my best friend and rising international singer. Then Simon doesn’t make a big deal out of his career because what Swedish official, aside from Prince Wilhelm, cares what he does? He’s a nobody compared to everyone in the room. He doesn’t belong. It’s like this every year.
Dinner is served and Simon sits between Wille and Sara at the table that sits Simon’s family and Wille’s. Everyone makes small talk with each other. Wille and Simon occasionally bump elbows and apologize to each other so many times in those twenty or so minutes they’re sitting at the table together.
He doesn’t know what’s shifted all of a sudden between himself and Wille but he hates it. It almost reminds him of what happened earlier that year when Simon pushed Wille away. Their interactions all night are incredibly awkward.
When Simon walks back into his guest bedroom to change, it’s close to midnight. He can still faintly hear Christmas music coming from the ballroom as he changes into a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. He runs his fingers through his curls and lets out a heavy sigh.
It takes about five minutes of going back and forth with himself about if he should just be honest with Wille about his feelings before he concludes that he should just risk it all. What’s the worst that could happen? Wille says he doesn’t feel the same way about Simon? Their friendship turns awkward for a few weeks while the dust settles from Simon’s confession. Simon’s okay with that because maybe the fact that Simon’s hiding his love for Wille is the reason everything has grown to be so awkward between them.
After another ten minutes of sitting and actually trying to find the courage to go talk to Wille, he finally gets up from bed. He walks down the hallway with the tie he borrowed so he has a reason to actually go to Wille’s room. He stands outside the room for a few seconds before finally knocking on the door.
A part of him hopes that Wille hasn’t left the party yet. All that hope is quickly diminished when he opens the door also already in his pajamas. Simon holds up the tie and says, “I thought that I should return this before I forgot and bring it back to my apartment with me.”
Wille looks almost disappointed in why Simon came to his room. He takes the tie and nods. “Thanks,” he mumbles. They stand and stare at each other for a second. “Is there anything else?”
Simon panics for a second before he blurts out, “I wanted to spend the night. In here. With you. Maybe have a Christmas movie night until we fall asleep?”
“Um,” Wille hesitates. “Sure. Come on in.”
They both walk into Wille’s room and Simon shuts the door behind them both. “What should we watch?” Simon asks. “The Grinch?”
“So you can sing ‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch’?” he teases.
Simon turns and looks at Wille as he crawls into his best friend’s bed. “Last time I checked, you liked my singing,” he retorts, a smile on his face. “Or has that changed recently?”
He’s quick to notice Wille’s cheeks get pink and he has to keep it together. “No, I still like your singing,” Wille admits. “I think it’s kind of cute when you get so into the movie that you sing it.” His eyes widen when he realizes what he said. “I mean, not cute. Um, funny? Interesting?”
“Wille,” Simon laughs. “Relax. Come here so we can watch the movie please.”
His best friend shuts up and crawls into bed with his laptop, pulling up “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”. Simon gets comfortable on his side of the bed, until “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” starts to play.
Deciding to be a little dramatic tonight, Simon actually gets up and dances around the room while he sings the song. Wille laughs as Simon gets very into it. Eventually, Wille gets up out of bed after turning the volume up after a few seconds and the solo becomes a duet. Both of them sing the remainder of the song, and it leaves them both breathless.
Simon smiles at a panting Wille, who returns his smile. His heart is pounding in his chest. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Wille catches his breath and keeps staring at Simon, who is very obviously staring back.
Do it.
“Wille, I, um,” Simon pants, still having not caught his breath yet. “I have something to tell you. And it might freak you out and it might ruin everything but I think you need to know this.”
“Okay?” Wille questions. “Tell me.”
Here he goes. Risking it all.
Simon licks his lips as he confesses, “I’ve been having all these intense feelings recently. For you. Earlier this year, when I pushed you away, that was me distancing myself from you because I didn’t think I was allowed to have these feelings for you because you’re a Prince of Sweden. So I thought the best way to deal with that was to push you away. Then you fought back against me pushing you away so I stayed. Now I’m struggling to not do something stupid whenever I’m around you.”
The look on Wille’s face causes Simon to think that he messed up by telling him how he’s been feeling. Wille’s jaw has practically dropped and his eyes are wide, filled with some kind of confusion. He stays quiet.
A lump grows in his throat and Simon sighs. “Forget I ever told you,” he croaks. “I’ll go back to my room. I’m sorry.”
Without a word from Wille, Simon turns on his heels and walks out the door he just walked through not ten minutes ago. He makes it down the hallway and into his room before he lets out a croaked sob. He wraps his arms around himself and leans against the door as the sound of sobbing bounces off the walls of the mainly empty room.
He messed up. He knows he messed up. Wille is his best friend and he messed everything up. He risked it all and he never should have. He risked his friendship with the person he thought would be in his life forever.
He’ll never forgive himself if Wille ends their friendship over this.
A knock rings out throughout the room, bouncing around the room with the sounds of Simon’s sobs. “Who is it?” Simon questions.
“It’s Wille,” a voice calls back. “Can we talk?” He pauses but Simon doesn’t move. “Please. Open the door.” Another pause. “Simon.”
Wille isn’t going to go away. Simon knows that. It’s the only reason that Simon does his best to dry his tears and swings the door open. His eyes land on Wille, who looks almost apologetically at Simon. “What?” he deadpans.
“I should’ve said something before you left,” Wille begins. “I just … I couldn’t believe that you had told me that because I’ve been having the same struggles. When you pushed me away, that’s when I realized that I …” Wille pauses, hesitating. The next few words come out in a whisper. “I love you.”
A sigh of relief comes from Simon after he hears those words come from Wille. “And here I thought you were going to end any kind of friendship that we had because I thought that you didn’t love me back,” Simon admits.
“How could I not love you?” Wille laughs, putting a smile on Simon’s face. “I mean, you’re crazy talented, insanely beautiful. You’ve been my best friend since we were kids and I know that I can trust you not to exploit any kind of potential new relationship that we could have now.” Wille smiles so Simon knows he’s kidding. “You’re Simon Eriksson. I don’t know what there isn’t to love about you.”
Simon immediately throws his arms around Wille’s neck and pulls the prince into the room, hugging him as tight as he can. “Is this happening? Did we really just admit our feelings for each other or did I imagine that?” Simon asks. “Because I cannot tell you how many times I imagined this exact conversation going over the past year or so.”
Wille laughs and wraps his arms around Simon’s torso. “This is happening,” Wille replies. “This is real. Also, me too.”
A laugh comes from Simon, who pulls back slightly from the hug so he can look at Wille. “Are we going to try this?” Simon questions. “Are we going to try a relationship? Or at least something more than friendship?”
“Is that something you’d like to try?” his possible new boyfriend asks.
“It’s definitely something I’d like to try,” Simon tells Wille, hands sliding down to cup his jaw. “What about you? Is that something you’d like to try?”
Wille nods and tightens his grip around Simon’s waist. “I’d definitely like to try something,” he replies.
Something shifts between them again and their lips are meeting in the middle in the softest, slowest kiss that Simon’s ever experienced.
He thought a lot about what it would be like to kiss Wille. How it would feel, how soft his lips would be. This kiss is so much more amazing and breathtaking than Simon could have ever imagined. A warm feeling spreads throughout his entire body, starting wherever Wille is touching him.
It has officially become Simon’s favorite thing to do. Simon could easily get addicted to kissing Wille. He’s sure it’s something that he won’t fight either.
The kiss only breaks when they both pull back for some air. Simon’s quickly looking between Wille’s eyes for any sign of regret because there’s no going back now. He doesn’t find any regret.
“Now you know how complicated my life is,” Wille softly tells Simon. “If we do this, it’s something that neither of us will be able to come back from. Our names will always be synonymous with each other, and pictures of us will never go away. If we make it to marriage then it’s going to be a huge thing-”
“I wouldn’t have told you how I felt if I didn’t think I could handle what comes along with dating a member of the Royal Family,” Simon interrupts. “I love you. I love Wille. I don’t care about the Crown or anything that comes along with it. I just care about you. Okay?”
Wille nods. “Okay.” They both have smiles on their faces at this point. “Can we go back to my room now? Maybe finish our movie?”
“I’ll go back to your room but I don’t think we’ll be finishing that movie,” Simon replies.
“Oh, definitely not,” Wille laughs. “I just needed a reason to invite you back to my room.”
They almost run back to Wille’s room, the movie still playing on the bed. It’s closed within seconds of them crawling onto the bed, the device sliding off the bed as Wille blindly pushes it off the mattress to make room for them.
If that night is anything to go by, Simon can’t wait for the rest of their lives together. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and now they get to grow old together.
All because Simon risked it all this Christmas.