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When Skye and Lincoln show up with about six bottles of different types of alcohol, Fitz knew he was in trouble. Evidentially – everyone else did too.
Beside him, Mac let out a groan. “This is why Coulson and May should never leave the base with us, alone.”
“What makes you say that?” Skye asked innocently, setting the bottles down onto the table, “I’m merely suggesting a friendly game of Never Have I Ever.”
“Count me out,” Fitz said quickly, but Skye merely shook her head, a devilish grin on her face.
“Nope,” she declared, “I covered for you last week with Coulson Fitzy – you’re not getting out of this one.”
Fitz groaned, rubbing his face with both his hands, wishing there was some other reason that he could not drink alcohol and play ridiculous games meant for high school teens.
“Besides,” Skye went on, popping open several of the bottles, “I’ve already got almost everyone to agree.”
“Really?” Fitz looked at her incredulously; he didn’t think his other team members would agree to something like this.
Twenty minutes later the whole gang is sitting in a rather large circle around the coffee table, the bottles of alcohol tempting them and a shot glass in front of each person.
He was shocked when Jemma came into the room, nervously sitting down next to him and smoothing out her shirt. Ever since she had gotten out of the Kree Stone she had been nervous, only stopping her work to be with him or eat – even though she wouldn’t tell any of them (even him) what happened in there.
“You’re joining?” he asked her, and she nodded.
“Skye’s right, it might be beneficial to lighten up a little bit,” she said in a voice that was slightly too high, but he was just happy to see her out of his room or the lab.
“Of course I’m right,” Skye declared, picking up one of the bottles and pouring an amount of liquid into each one. “And that’s why I’ll start.”
“Of course,” Hunter muttered, looking down at his shot glass like he wanted to drink it already.
“Alright,” Skye said, finishing serving the drinks and sitting back between Fitz and Lincoln. “Never have I ever… gotten divorced.” She looked smugly over at Hunter and Bobbi, who simultaneously groaned.
“Bottoms up,” Hunter said, throwing back his shot with a sort of sputter.
“Okay,” Skye said, “You next Fitzy!”
“Never have I ever,” Fitz said, still slightly annoyed that Skye had made him play this damn game in the first place, “Hacked into a secure government network.”
Skye glared, but took her shot. “You’ll pay for that one Leopold.”
Fitz smirked.
“Is it my turn?” Jemma asked, smiling nervously.
“Yeah.”
“Never have I ever,” she said, biting her lip, “Well never have I ever sung in the shower.”
They all sort of gaped at her, and she shrugged. Then, Hunter, Bobbi, Skye, and Fitz all took up their glasses and drank.
“Really Hunter?” Mac asked in amusement.
“Oh he’s the worst,” Bobbi said and Hunter rolled his eyes.
“Well you’re not much better –“
“And Fitz too?” Skye asked, and he shrugged.
“He likes to sing Beatles songs,” Jemma said, and Skye raised her eyebrows suggestively.
“And how do you know that?”
Jemma sputtered, but she was luckily saved by Hunter who started his turn.
“Never have I ever,” he said loudly, “had a date with a girl because I fixed her car.”
He was glancing pointedly at Mac, but the mechanic and Fitz both drank. They all turned to Fitz in surprise, who went bright red.
“What?” he asked, “Did you think I had no social life at all?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Fitz was actually quite popular with the ladies,” Jemma said, and Fitz turned on her – the traitor. “He used to get so nervous before dates, I would end up having to do his tie for him and everything.”
“Thank you Jemma,” Skye sang, locking eyes with the mechanic, “This is proving to be very beneficial indeed.”
Fitz rolled his eyes, “Oh please, like you’re going to remember this in the morning.”
“Never have I ever,” Bobbi interrupted, tapping her chin thoughtfully, “Gotten a tattoo.”
“Well shit,” Jemma said pleasantly, picking up her glass and throwing it down her throat. Everyone but Fitz looked at her in shock. Mac and Lincoln also downed their shots, but everyone was still staring at Jemma.
“You have a tattoo?” Skye asked.
“She lost a bet,” Fitz said, shrugging. “Loser had to get a tattoo.”
“What is it of?”
“You may never know,” Jemma said, leaning back on her palms and smiling. “I believe it’s your turn Mac.”
“Never have I ever,” Mac said, looking around the group with inquisitive eyes, “Gone skinny dipping.”
“Fuck you too mate,” Hunter said, refilling his shot and swallowing it. Bobbi raised her eyebrows but drank her’s too. Skye sighed loudly, but downed her’s as well, and so did Lincoln.
“You’ve been skinny dipping?” Fitz asked the inhuman boy, “But wouldn’t you just – I don’t know – shock everyone?”
Lincoln shook his head, a sheepish looking grin on his face as he refilled his shot.
“My turn?” he asked, tapping his finger against the floor, “Never have I ever – caused an earthquake.”
Skye glared. “Nicely played Campbell,” she said, throwing back her’s.
“Let’s see,” she said, smiling peevishly at Fitz, her voice already slurring slightly, “Never have I ever graduated high school early.”
Fitz and Jemma both drank, and so did Lincoln. When everyone looked at him, he merely shrugged.
“My parents pushed me hard,” was all he said in response.
“Never have I ever,” Fitz said, “Had a one night stand.”
Jemma, Skye, Hunter, Mac and Lincoln all drank. Fitz looked at Jemma in shock – there was something he didn’t know about his best friend.
“Who?” he asked.
“Mark Webbers,” she said shrugging, “He was just so pretty and symmetrical.”
“What, you aren’t surprised by the rest of us?” Skye asked, and there was a definite slur in her voice now. Fitz shrugged.
“Not really, I kind of expected it actually.”
“Alright!” Jemma said, breaking in before Skye could punch Fitz (which looked like it was likely to happen.) “Let’s see, never have I ever – well never I have I ever, done drugs?”
Fitz slowly raised his shot to his lips and drank. Everyone stared, their glasses untouched – except for Mac, who grudgingly lifted his to his lips as well.
“It was a bake sale!” Fitz said in protest, “I thought they were just brownies, I swear.”
They all turned to Mac, who shrugged. “I smoked pot on a dare once,” he said, “But it was nasty stuff.”
“Don’t do drugs!” Skye chanted, leaning against Lincoln slightly, her voice slurring and her eyes bright.
“Never have I ever,” Hunter grinned at Mac, “Knocked my best friend unconscious.”
Mac shrugged, “I said I was sorry,” he said, taking a drink. Jemma did too, wincing with a sideways look at Fitz.
“I mean,” she said, “I didn’t directly knock him out, but I led him to Coulson who – well did the punching for me.”
“Bobbi’s turn!”
“Never have I ever,” Bobbi said, with a smug look at her ex-husband, “Dressed like a girl for a mission.”
“I thought that stayed between us,” Hunter whined, swallowing his shot. Jemma and Skye automatically turned towards Fitz, eyebrows raised. He grudgingly took his.
“I think we need to hear this story,” Mac said, and their was even a slight slur to his voice now.
“Uh – I don’t think so,” Fitz decided, “Like Bobbi said – it was for a mission.”
“You made a very pretty girl,” Jemma said, patting his knee.
“Never have I ever,” Mac declared, “Slept with my best friend.”
They all stared at him in horror, except for Bobbi and Hunter, who took theirs straight away. At one point, Fitz supposed, they must have been best friends, and obviously they had slept together since they were married at one point.
No, it was the fact that everyone but Mac took their shot.
“What?” Skye shrieked, pointing at Fitzsimmons, “You two SLEPT TOGETHER?!”
“What about you?” Fitz countered, “Because I’m pretty sure that you didn’t sleep with me or Jemma – so who was it Miss Skye?” he leaned forward, and maybe his voice was slurring just a tiny bit.
He noticed the way Skye and Lincoln were now definitely leaning away from each other, eyes focused on anything but each other. Fitz leaned back with a smile.
“I knew it,” he gloated to Jemma, “I mean c’mon.”
“But you and Simmons,” Skye said evilly, “I mean, you haven’t slept with me Leopold.”
Fitz and Jemma both went bright red.
“Well you and Lincoln slept together,” Jemma said, sticking her tongue out at the hacker. “Although I do think it’s sweet you two are best friends and sleeping with each other now.”
“Okay!” Lincoln said, breaking off any future arguments, even though he was still bright red, “I mean – well now that – I guess we all know -“ he stuttered, and Skye glared. “Anyways, never have I ever made Bobbi angry.”
“Oh hell,” Hunter muttered, “Someone should give me five shots.”
Skye knocked over her shot glass as she leaned forward, staring straight at FitzSimmons. “Never have I ever,” she said carefully and slowly, “Hid a relationship from Skye.”
They both drank. Skye, who was obviously a little more than tipsy at this point, hollered, pumping her fist in the air.
“You owe me twenty bucks Lincoln!” she crowed.
“You bet on us?!”
There now seemed to be a battle between him and Skye. Fitz leaned forward, locking eyes with the hacker.
“Never have I ever,” he said, “Gotten so scared during a horror movie that I peed my pants.”
“Fuck you Leopold,” Skye said darkly, taking her shot and slopping most of it down her front. “You were the one who said it wasn’t scary.”
They all laughed, everyone either tipsy or leaning towards drunk. (Fitz secretly thought that Coulson would not be pleased to find most of his team with hang overs the next morning.)
“Never have I ever,” Jemma said, “Answered the door in only my underwear.”
“You’re supposed to be on my team!” Fitz protested, but took his shot, and so did Skye, Bobbi, and Hunter. “That was one time!”
“Never have I ever,” Hunter said, cracking his neck. He was probably the least drunk, even if he’d had the most shots. “Gotten in a serious relationship with someone because it was cover.”
“Still so bitter,” Bobbi muttered, downing her’s. “Let’s see, never have I ever, called my ex a hell beast.”
“What were you saying about being bitter?” Hunter asked.
“Never have I ever fixed a plane that was about to explode,” Mac said, his eyes on Fitz.
“Technically Hunter did that,” Fitz said, his voice definitely slurring and his mind wandering a bit. Still, he took his shot.
“Never have I ever –“ Lincoln looked down at Skye, who was now snoring gently against his arm, “Well fallen asleep at playing Never Have I Ever is one.”
“How many shots did she have?” Jemma asked curiously.
“More than she could handle,” Fitz giggled – giggled.
“Okay,” Hunter said, “I think we’ve had enough of this game. Mr. Grumpy pants over here is giggling, and I’ve learned far to much about all of you.”
“Likewise,” Lincoln said, gently nudging Skye awake, “Not to mention we all have to be up early so May and Coulson don’t suspect anything when they get back…”
They all groaned.