Chapter Text
My name is Reki Kyan, and I’m one of the dime-a-dozen figure skaters certified by the JSF.
It all still felt so incredibly surreal, honestly, even after the whirlwind that was the last several years. After last year’s Grand Prix, Reki felt like he would surely stay in the shadow of Yuuri Katsuki, the darling of Japanese men’s figure skating, essentially forever. Reki wasn’t pretty like that, he didn’t have an underdog story like Yuuri coming back from bombing the GPF and subsequently winning a silver medal, and he didn’t have the killer stamina that Yuuri did or the kind heart that was even bigger than his quadruple toe loop or the beautiful five-time-world-champion-god of a husband.
He always wondered if he lacked much talent and good qualities in general, but that was another story for another day.
Grand Prix Final assignments were scheduled to be released this afternoon, and Reki anxiously sat by his phone, tapping his foot on the ground as he helped his mother with making lunch for the family. He had indicated his preferences to the ISU, which naturally were Skate Canada and the NHK Trophy. Even when skaters submitted their hopes, though, it was never an exact science or guarantee. There were always strange and convoluted undercurrents to the selection process that Reki would never understand or be privy to; all he knew was that he wanted to skate in Langa Hasegawa’s home territory, and he hoped with everything he had that Langa’s Japanese mother would influence him to pick the NHK Trophy, as well. The whole thing embarrassed Reki slightly, as he knew it was all probably a pipe dream in his head, and he had probably made up a lot of the possible “moments” the two had shared together over the last couple years…but he never allowed his heart to stop hoping. He would never, ever stop hoping.
After several excruciating hours, and in the middle of making his favorite dish (pork cutlet bowls, which he was taught to make by Yuuri Katsuki himself, thank you very much), the notification finally popped up on his phone. He dropped the long cooking chopsticks he held, splashing a little bit of raw whisked egg and soy sauce from the counter on himself, as he scrambled to grab it. Within minutes, several texts from his friends had followed, the joyful and exhilarating chaos circulating throughout the figure skating community.
Skate America and NHK Trophy. Okay, I can do this. I can deal with this. I have to know where Langa will be going and if I’ll even see him. I need to know!
Reki unlocked his phone, closed out of his Instagram account, and opened up his texts. The last time he’d texted Langa was about two weeks ago, and he had sent him a video of Japanese legend Yuzuru Hanyu working on his quad axel. He never did get a response, which would have surely offended every other figure skater basically ever (because anything with Yuzu in it deserves a response, damnit!), but he prayed and hoped that he would get a reply this time.
Me [4:03PM]: hey, i just got my gpf assignments…what about u??
He drummed his fingers on his desk impatiently, letting out a whine-mixed-with-a-sigh. He tried to get back to cooking up the rice before he felt his phone vibrate in his hand.
Oh - it’s just a skateboarding Instagram reel from Phichit. He’s really been trying to land his first ollie for a few weeks now - he’s dedicated, that’s for sure. It’s actually super cool. I hope I get to see him somewhere this season, too! It feels like forever since I visited him in Thailand.
He vowed to give his dear friend's messages a better look later, but right now, he had to give every ounce of energy to staring at his text screen. He had to devote every iota of his being to sending “please respond to me” vibes through the mysterious internet or cell phone tower or whatever it was that connected him to Langa; he also had to convince himself that he wasn’t that pathetic for doing so. The response came back a few moments later, and he nearly jumped a foot in the air and tripped over his feet.
Langa Hasegawa [4:12PM]: I just did, too! Was literally grabbing my phone right as I got your text. I’ll be at Skate America and NHK, will I get to see you at either one?
Reki screamed out inside his head. Well - he hoped it was only in his head, anyway. He typed back with shaking hands.
Me [4:15PM]: omg dude, i got the same exact ones!! :)
Langa Hasegawa [4:23PM]: That’s awesome. We’ll definitely have to hang out, then :)
Reki eeped so loudly that Koyomi heard from the other room. Her feet were pounding down the hallway floor the next moment before she came bursting through his bedroom door. Reki laughed at the way her ponytail looked slightly askew, her bangs sticking up at some odd angles. "Did you get them?! Did you? Oh." She saw the light blush on Reki's cheeks, and the stupid jerk, she just knew. "You get to see Langa , don't you?" Reki groaned loudly and dramatically.
"Oh my Goooddd, get out of my room. Get out, get out, you nosy jackass!" His sister shrieked with joy, turned on her heel, and went running to get their mother.
"Moooom, Reki got his Grand Prix series assignments and gets to see his boyfriend!" Reki scrambled to his feet, surprisingly ungracefully for a premiere athlete, and chased her down the hall. The twins had joined in on the chase, too, and soon they were all tumbling and laughing around on the living room floor. Nanaka had managed to grab Reki's headband and pulled it over his eyes, causing him to stumble and knock over a small lamp. Reki managed to ninja-grab it before it hit the ground, but that was barefly before he heard their mother's voice in the doorway.
"What in blazes is going on in here - " She stopped and put her hands on her hips, entire face frowning slightly, staring down at the four guilty faces in front of her. Nanaka hid the headband behind her back and widened her eyes innocently, and Reki tried to hide the lamp behind his back. It didn't go so well for him or the lamp, and Masae tapped her foot on the floor as he turned around to set it up again. Koyomi's face scrunched up and she started to laugh while Reki simply grinned and snatched his signature fashion accessory from his little sister. Masae couldn't stop her smile, either, and sighed heavily at them all. As she turned and walked away, she put a hand to her cheek and said, "it's like I have four very large small children in this house…" She stopped abruptly in the doorway. "Oh! Reki honey, where will you be competing?" She smiled so happily and so proudly. It made Reki want to blush, hide behind his hands, scream internally, and smother her in a hug all at the same time.
"Okay, I'm going to be at Skate America - " Koyomi whooped. " - and at the NHK Trophy!" They all cheered for this one in particular. Reki would have the warm love of his home country for his second qualifying event, and it honestly meant so, so incredibly much to him.
And maybe Langa will like it, too. I wonder if they would ever come back here, since his mom is from Japan and his dad was the one mostly keeping them in Canada.
He tried to shake off the thoughts so he could be in this celebratory moment with his family. Masae made Reki's favorite cake (to a chorus of loud, adoring cheers of his younger sisters) and even shared some of his favorite sake with him that evening. Despite having a full stomach from their delicious katsudon, It made the tips of his ears pink, and it made him just a little bit more daring and maybe a little bit flirty.
He could go red-faced and become hugely embarrassed by the text messages he was sending to two cute figure skater friends of Phichit’s when he looked at them again tomorrow morning. The ones he would probably be most embarrassed about, however, were half as flirty, but they were sent to Langa.
My ride or die. The one that everyone else in the world is compared to. The one that I never even dated but will also never be able to get over. Is that stupid? Does that even make any sense?
Reki just hoped Langa wouldn’t mind the flood of Instagram posts of snowboarders and compliments about how absolutely smokin’ hot he would look in their snow gear. He hoped in his more sober, sentient moments that Langa wouldn’t think these messages weren't much worse or more awkward than the usual gushy texts he sometimes sent. He was scrolling through his feed and seeing all the pictures the other skaters were posting. Some were with family, some were traveling, some were at practice - it was always something cool, new, and different when he followed the figure skating world on social media. He sent a post from an underwear company of a tall, toned guy in boxer briefs and a very puffy jacket (complete with a Santa hat, which really tied the outfit together, in his opinion).
Today 02:18
bro, u wud look sooooo hawt in this
u neeeeed it
buy it, then tke all the pics for insta nd tag me so i get the credit for finding it for u
and the entire figure skating wrld will worship me for convincing u to wear ths
ur hot all the time anywy but like
ohhhmmyyygodd
Sr y i kno i’m gushing again but dude u deserv it. ur like, rly beautiful? and all
I should prob go to bed im talking too much again
Reki’s fuzzy eyes went wide when he saw Langa typing back.
Today 02:28
Reki, what are you doing up so late?
You really ought to get some rest, I know you have some intense practices coming up this week since you’ve been working on your 3A so much
Your English spelling sucks normally but this is pretty bad, were you drinking your fav sake again?
He wasn’t sober enough to be embarrassed about the goofy grin that spread wide across his face as he typed back. He bit his lip and flopped backwards down on his bed, kicking his feet out like an excited child.
Today 02:31
nooo, langaaa
only a little bit. mom and i were celebrating going to nhk this year
how’d u know?
Reki’s heart was pounding as he waited for the reply. He might have done several backflips when he saw it if it wasn’t already a little tipsy.
Today 02:34
Just a feeling.
It's…kindof cute
I, ah. I think you’re beautiful too, Reki. You should know that
You deserve to feel that way, too
Reki’s heart stopped, his head swam, and his stomach turned into a hot air balloon that inflated and floated away. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and his eyelids betrayed him as they started to droop. He felt some strange, ambiguously warm feeling clench somewhere in his chest when he saw Langa’s little picture bubble, a very impressive picture of him snowboarding on a slope.
…yeah, he could wait until tomorrow to panic about this. For now, he was exhausted, and even a compliment from Langa wasn’t enough to keep him from snoozing for the next eight hours.
❄💛💙❄
Victor and Yuuri decided that after living and training together in St. Petersburg, they would move back to Japan where they would both retire from competitive skating. Victor still landed contracts for all kinds of promotions and products (particularly underwear modeling, to the surprise of noone), his ethereal beauty only intensifying unfairly as he entered his thirties. Reki honestly didn’t know what he did to deserve this opportunity, but he’d gotten to know them both after they’d made enough stops at his home rink in Okinawa. Victor, the nosy bastard-of-a-god that he was, friended Reki on Instagram by their third meeting after watching him flub another triple axel. Scrolling through Reki's Instagram at rink side, he found one of the few photos he had with Langa from a year or two ago, and his eyes turned into little happy puddles of cerulean. Beside him, the look on Yuuri’s face just turned into an oh no.
“Yuuri, they’re so cute!~ They obviously belong together, just like we do.” Yuuri groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Victor, you can’t just go around saying things like that to people! We've talked about this more than a few times already.” Victor’s five-star pout won Yuuri over. It won with its 37,256 Google reviews, average rating 9.7/5.0 stars. And if Victor or anyone else ever asked Google if that was a typo, Google would say no, it was just that good.
“It’s okay guys, really. We’re, ah - not a couple…” Yuuri sighed and shot a brief, scolding look at his husband, who tapped one finger to his lip and smiled wide.
“Do I hear an unspoken yet at the end of that sentence?”
“Victor.” They bickered adorably about Victor’s “little nosy habits” as Reki spaced out. He leaned against the wall, shifting his weight from his skates and absentmindedly swimming his blades on the ice. His ass hurt a bit where he fell, so he casually tried to hide his grimacing as the five-time world champion Victor Nikiforov was fawning over a photo of him with Langa Freaking Hasegawa.
So Victor thinks we’d make a good match, huh?
Reki still remembered the very first time he saw Langa skate. It was like…a beautiful snowfall, right there at the center of the rink.
It was a few years ago at one of his first Junior Grand Prix competitions. Langa was warming up out on the ice, his big, burly coach cheering him on as he executed a perfect triple axel. His body was perfect, his movements precise, the amount of rotations exact, and his technique flawless. It was obvious that he was extremely well-trained and well-conditioned by a highly-skilled coach.
Reki’s mouth dropped open and his eyes grew wide, and he felt his heart rate speed up as Langa flew through the air again. He watched in awe as the soft-looking blue locks whipped gracefully around his face and he dropped into his signature combination spin. Reki looked around himself for other spectators, saw none, and moved closer to the edge of the rink to watch. Chin resting on his palm, his gaze softened as the blue beauty glided across the ice, a lethal blend of technical skill and adventurous spirit that rendered him capable of some of the most incredible routines Reki had ever seen. He had watched Langa from afar for some time now, following his career and admiring his progress for a few years until this point. He claimed to his coaches that it was because of his partial Japanese background and a desire to emulate his 3A, but that was only the partial truth - he was also enamored at first sight.
Kindof like how Victor felt about Yuuri. I wonder if I’ll ever have the same kind of luck with Langa…too bad he’s never noticed me before and probably never will…
He traced small hearts into the frost on the rink’s edge, so lost in his own daydream about Langa that he didn’t notice the gentle footsteps coming up behind him.
He was caught, totally fawning and googling over Langa from the sideline, by none other than Nanako Hasegawa herself. Langa’s mother smiled at him, a slightly crooked and heartwarming expression that somehow put him instantly more at ease. She placed a hand to the side of her cheek and cocked her head to the side. "I know. He really is something, isn't he?" She sighed and chuckled a little when Reki's face pinked and he started to stammer. Nanako winked, and he buried his face in his hands to hide the growing blush and embarrassment. "Don't worry, this will be our little secret. Good luck out there this week, kiddo."
They had talked and texted quite a bit a few months after that - as it turned out, there was enough common ground between skateboarding (his other great skating love) and snowboarding that they could share their passions for their sports (as well as cool YouTube videos). One summer, he dated a pretty ice dancer named Chariya, who he met through Phichit on a trip to Thailand; she was everything he would have thought he wanted. Her skin was perfectly bronzed and would shine in the sun, her hair was long and dark and swayed around her waist in a shimmering curtain, and she wore tiny outfits similar to those she wore on the ice. Langa must have gotten really busy that summer; he hardly heard from him as much at that point, and he tried to bury his disappointment by posting silly kissy photos with her and Phichit all throughout his visit. He didn’t think Chariya ever really understood why he was disappointed by the silence - or maybe she did, and Reki was simply trying to live in denial that anyone else had “figured him out yet.” Whatever it was, his relationship ultimately didn’t work out with her, but they were still friends and hung out whenever he visited.
They saw each other at Juniors for one more year, and Reki remembered just how much it took his breath away when Langa smiled at him for the first time. It was a beautiful, happy, genuine smile - one that in the tiniest, deepest, farthest corners of his heart, Reki dreamed was made only for him.
Then, Reki remembered the day Langa withdrew from his last competition after his father, coach, and best friend passed away very suddenly.
It was a tragedy that shook the entire figure skating world. Beloved Oliver, who was world-renowned for training figure skaters to become the best and most ambitious versions of themselves. This certainly applied to Langa, who had taken the Juniors world by absolute storm. His bright and promising career even gave Russia’s Yuri Plisetsky and his career some competition for fiercest, youngest talent on the ice. It was…more to Reki than a loss of a great competitor. This wasn’t something he would ever admit to anyone, but he had a rather large crush on Langa for several years now (but he had a feeling that nobody in his life would be that surprised, anyway). He didn't know what he could have possibly done for his friend, as Reki skated for Japan, and Langa skated for Canada. All he could do was gaze wistfully at the framed photo of the two of them from their last competition, Langa unfurling and holding the Japanese flag so Reki could honor it from his winner’s place on the podium. He had a stack of magazine copies his friends and family had sent when that moment went viral, and in his weaker moments, he would sometimes go through them for hours at a time.
Langa had taken home a gold medal the year Nanako had caught him drooling and staring, and Reki had taken home a bronze. It was a strange, euphoric feeling standing at Langa’s side like that, one that never quite left his heart or mind. It felt natural in a way that was like breathing; an innate, physiological thing that was just right.
During Langa’s gap year, Reki never gave up on messaging him, even despite weeks on end of silence. He would occasionally send him memes, always feeling surprised when he would receive a reply at strange hours of nighttime in Canada. They had seen each other at Skate America a year prior, both young and ambitious skaters with incredibly talented mentors and incredibly powerful ambitions. When they talked, Reki learned all the gossip about JJ, Canada’s “King of the Ice,” who must have shown Langa a thing or two about landing the perfect quad. Reki still remembered the exhibition skate JJ dedicated to Oliver - as much as he found the guy as annoying as barbed wire shoved into his tender ass crack, he admitted that it was a beautiful tribute.
Their message frequency would ebb and flow, a sine wave that started from zero and oscillated back and forth between radio silence and daily conversation. It drove Reki wild to feel that push and pull of someone he wanted to know and share his love with so badly, but he was also willing to take whatever Langa was willing to give him. So, he skated his heart out, always hoping and always dreaming that one day, Langa would really see him.
❄💛💙❄
These days, Reki was occasionally mentored by none other than Yuuri Katsuki, the Japanese skater that took the world by storm with his love for Victor. They shared so much more than just their homeland - one of the best things about working with him is that Reki could learn from someone else that suffered from crippling anxiety and self-doubt. Because when Yuuri found Victor, everything started to change. He had moved to Russia to be with Victor and Yuri Plisetsky, committing himself to training and showing all his love on the ice year after year. Reki found it incredibly romantic, though he did admit that it hurt him terribly when Yuuri eventually retired.
“Reki, I promise everything is going to be okay. You’ve made so much progress on your quad Lutz - with Kaoru’s help, I just know you’re going to be able to land them in competition. Before you know it, you’ll have two in your free skate!” Yuuri’s dark brown eyes sparkled kindly and warmly as he said goodbye. It was one of the hardest days Reki remembered, saying goodbye to someone he trusted, related to, and looked up to for his entire skating career. He loved how Yuuri reached a low point in his career, found his truest inspiration, and rose to stardom after joining hands and hearts with Victor Nikiforov, five-time world champion on the ice and darling of the figure skating world. One of his coaches, Kaoru Sakurayashiki, was once a darling of Japanese pair skating, as well. He framed his medals and articles in their small office in the corner of his home rink, oftentimes intentionally hanging them over the medals from his other coach, Joe.
Reki was surrounded by greatness, and some days, he doubted he could ever reach true greatness himself. All he knew was that he loved skating - it was everything he could ever want in his life and more. He could jump, glide, soar, and even fly - and he could tell a story with it, too. He could tell any story he wanted with the help of his coaches and his support system. It also gave him an opportunity to meet tons of incredible skaters, and every chance he got, he learned everything he possibly could from them. He got to see the world and do what he loved. As far as he was concerned, he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into the sport - and it filled his heart to the brim every time his blades touched the ice.
❄💛💙❄
Reki was not creeping on Langa. No, he was simply scoping out his competition for the upcoming Grand Prix series while he waited in the hallway. He was simply finding out what kind of routines he may be up against when they met at Skate America and NHK Trophy. He tugged on his collar, the tie he wore suffocating him slightly - Kaoru always tied them a little too tightly when he had an appearance, and it never helped his nerves.
Okay, okay - yeah, he also just wanted to watch the beautiful bastard skate and learn more about his theme this year.
"Unrequited Love." I guess it fits…but I don’t really get the song choice for his free skate? Also…how could anyone NOT love him back? Are you kidding me? Are they blind? Are they soulless? Are they cretins? Are they -
Reki was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, his one foot jiggling nervously in the air as he scrolled through his phone. All of the articles he’d found to date told him that Langa had chosen Calum Scott’s version of Dancing On My Own for his free skate. It was a rather peculiar choice that made him selfishly wonder if Langa had someone he was interested in, someone that currently held his affections. It made his heart sink a little bit when he let his thoughts get too carried away, so he simply tried to squash them down into his churning stomach. Unsurprisingly, that wasn’t an easy thing to do, and they just raged through him as a rude flare of heartburn.
Man…if he’s hooked on someone, then there’s definitely no chance that he could ever see me like that. The days I could at least dream of kissing him some day may just be over…
He loved the music choice, however, even if it made him terribly distressed to think too much about. Calum Scott was a beautiful, talented, and openly-gay British music icon, and You Are the Reason always gave him butterflies whenever he listened to it.
Guess I also just really have a thing for the British boys and their sad music. Sad British chicks are babes, too, though.
No, it wasn’t because the song spoke about wanting to be with someone. It wasn’t because Reki was a little afraid of the concept of love. It wasn’t because he wasn’t sure what to call the warm, sappy feeling that bloomed in his chest every time he received a text or Instagram reel from Langa. No, it wasn’t because he thought of Langa every single time he heard that song (among hundreds of others, ranging from extremely sappy to extremely saucy).
No, it wasn’t any single one of those things. It was all of them combined, an even more formidable and terrifying concept than any of them individually. It was an emotionally lethal feeling that scared him because of how powerful and all-encompassing it was. It was this beautiful, frightening warmth that bloomed in his chest every time he saw the corner of Langa’s lips lift up in that adorable, small smile of his. The heat of the sunshine would start in his heart and flood through his entire body; sometimes, he was so overcome that he gave Langa suffocating big hugs when they did see each other. It seemed like the only way to get those nervous jitters out, at least outside of skating his feelings out on the ice.
Reki sighed and fixed his hair in the mirror that hung slightly crooked on the behind him. Without his headband, he usually tried to brush it back and tame it. It was a skater boy style, for sure, but it looked okay enough for him to put his suit on and pass Kaoru’s approval test. His bright auburn eyes looked back at him, reflecting the soft light of the lamp behind him and causing little flecks of white to scatter in his irises. His eyes - warm, amber, and full of life - were one of the few things he felt confident about on a consistent basis. Maybe he could spend some real quality time with Langa, and he could find every opportunity to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes that he had shamelessly taped up on his wall.
Posters aren't just for kids. They're for inspiration, even when you're a twenty-something. Right? Even if I only have posters of Langa. Right?
It was from Langa’s record-breaking season right before he took his hiatus from competition. Not weird or too gay to have a poster of your best bro and inspiration on your wall, right? Not weird to look longingly at it, wondering if Langa’s sexuality would even give him a fraction of a percent chance that they could even be together? Was it weird to find him more beautiful than any of the girls he’d ever dated, even that one pretty, tan Argentinian girl his grandparents tried to set him up with two years ago? Was it weird to follow the slope of his waist and the way his competition outfits just glittered, but nothing shined brighter than the scattered starlight in his eyes?
Ugh. It’s really weird, and I should probably take it down. But I can’t bring myself to do it, because I just…I miss him. And he’s beautiful, and I -
Reki grimaced.
- and damn, I got it bad.
He planted both legs on the ground and leaned over, whining quietly into his hands until his coach Joe came knocking at the door. “You’re up, kid. Go show’em what you’ve got planned for this year.” Reki popped his head up like he’d been caught doing something wrong. Literally Joe, Kaoru, his sister, his mother…every single one of them have caught him pining or gushing about the gorgeous bastard.
How could he not, though? Those long legs, those cheekbones, those deep ocean eyes, that mysterious personality -
“Yo, Reki! Get moving and bring yourself down from space, dude. Daydream about your boyfriend later.” Reki groaned, confirming Joe’s suspicion of what caused him to look so distant and distracted in the first place. Joe laughed and guided him to the room filled with some reporters and a few photographers. The other figure skaters from Japan were there, and one by one, they shared their themes for the upcoming season. As Reki stepped up to the small podium, he straightened his light blue tie and cleared his throat.
“Reki, do you care to share your theme for this year?” Reki held onto his small whiteboard for a moment before setting it gently on the stand in front of him.
“My theme this year is passion. My great-grandfather is Argentinian, and I spent a recent summer out there with my great-grandparents. He showed me how we can find passion, love, and fire, even in the littlest moments. We can also fan the flames of passion at two in the morning, agonizing over our fears and problems until we decide how we’re going to reinvent ourselves - like the rebirth of a phoenix, rising out of the ashes where it burned. I’m going to show the skating world just how passionate I am about skating. I’ll show everyone, and I won’t stop reinventing myself as many times as it takes to prove my love!” Reki held the microphone tightly, eyes darting around the room at the surprised faces in the crowd. He could hardly catch his breath, his knuckles turning slightly white as he waited for a response. The clicking of the camera shutters started to fly, however, and he breathed a sigh of relief as the announcer smiled at him and waved him back to his spot on the risers.
Reki had once asked Yuuri to teach him how he moved in his short program, Eros. Though he felt confident in his technique and in his ballroom dance training, he wanted to move a little more fluidly, maybe add a little bit of his own Reki Kyan-brand Eros to his program this year. Those moments were some of his most favorite memories with Yuuri and Victor; he would visit their little vacation home in Okinawa during the “colder” months and dance with them in their living room. He’d grown rather attached to their dog, too, and had attempted several waltzes with Makkachin before he dissolved into giggles and laughter on the floor with Makka and Victor.
After all the time he spent practicing the salsa with Victor or Yuuri leading him across the floor, he was ready. He was ready to shake his hips down the ice, a sassy, fiery force of nature that could hold his own in a dance battle, even against Shakira and her hips-that-don’t-lie. He would spin and dazzle, dance and seduce his way across his frozen stage until the audience and judges were left panting for more. He moved like freestyle, like percussion and water merged into one organic, natural, white-hot movement that melted the ice below him. His short program would leave the entire audience star-struck and breathless.
And then - when he skated his free skate, he would show them everything that Reki Kyan could be…and more.